


It's Not Black and White

by Code_2319



Series: Gray [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, CCG!Hide, Ethics, Frustrated Parents Akira and Amon, Genre Whiplash, Hide falls hard, Hide has a mom, Horror, Humor, Humor because I can't take myself seriously, I'm so sorry Yoriko, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kaneki being simultaneously badass and adorable, Kaneki has issues, Kaneki survived Root A, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, altered/original backstories, but also fluff, ghoul alcohol, only slightly corrupt CCG, violence probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 11:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 91,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8487931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Code_2319/pseuds/Code_2319
Summary: Hide, despite being hailed as an investigative prodigy, has never been one to follow the rules. But after meeting a very dangerous and supposedly very "dead" SS-rank ghoul, breaking the rules becomes a million times more interesting. In which Hide is a little shit, Touka and Akira are protective moms, Eto has a plan, and Kaneki doesn't know how he let himself get dragged into this mess.





	1. Average day on the job

**Author's Note:**

> Slow first chapter but It'll pick up.

It was a pretty normal afternoon in the office.

Seido was scowling, Juuzou was waving his arms around as he told some ridiculous story about their latest mission, Hide was laughing hysterically, and Akira was shaking her head in second-hand embarrassment.

“By the time I finally catch up to them, the ghoul had somehow trapped Seido in a soccer net, left him there and started chasing around the human who threw a brick at him earlier around the soccer field. Seido’s quinque was in a tree and he still won’t tell me how he got stuck under the net but fortunately I was able to stop the ghoul before he did any damage to that idiotic human.”

“Oh my god, Seido.” Hide said between fits of gleeful laughter. “How’d you even get out of that alive? Honest to god, dude.”

“Hey we all make poor decisions sometimes!” Takizawa attempted to defend himself, face aflame in an angry blush as he shot annoyed glances at his mischievous partner. “And – and Joker caught me off guard, okay! He was named that for a reason. Damn ghoul liked to play games.”

“Aaaand he outsmarted you.” Hide finished, grinning from ear to ear. Juuzou was giggling manically.

“Wha-whatever! At least Suzuya got him. That’s one less psychopath 15 has to deal with.”

“And there are plenty more where he came from.” Akira chimed in, not bothering to look up from her computer. These men, they were so juvenile. “So get back to work. Investigator Amon is following up the lead we got on the Insects. He could be calling any minute either verifying their whereabouts or giving us another lead to follow. If we can eliminate the Insects by the end of the summer the 15th ward will be in much better shape.”

“I agree. Back to work.” Seido said, still looking embarrassed.

Hide waggled his eyebrows at him, and Seido flipped him off, eliciting another pleased giggle from Suzuya.

Akira wasn’t kidding. The Insects were a nasty group, and their leader, Black Widow, had evaded detection from the CCG for years by flitting around from one ward to the next before getting caught. If they could bring her down it would be a big victory for Team Mado. Besides, she was one of the nastier ghouls. Eight short rinkaku tentacles, grotesque arachnid mask, S-ranked, enjoyed wrapping her victims in her kagune and feasting on them while still alive. She must have gotten some sort of sick enjoyment from hearing them scream. The thought sent unpleasant chills down Hide’s spine.

Sometimes on the job, Hide wondered if all ghouls were really worth disposing of. Perhaps there were even some nice ones out there? Unfortunately, it was when he received cases like this one that he fully appreciated how necessary the CCG was. The Insects were monsters, unwavering in their cruel ways, feasting excessively, and taking more lives than necessary all for pleasure.

Amon was following a lead on the A-rated ghoul, Tarantula. Hopefully, that lead would help them sniff out the Insect’s nest here in 15. If they were lucky, they might even be able to dispose of the whole gang – B-rated Wasp (lol), A-rated Beetle, A-rated Fire Ant.

This could potentially turn into a relatively big operation.

Which was why there were four First Class investigators and one Special Class looking into things.

Not that Hide was complaining or anything – the badder the gang the bigger the payout once everything was taken care of.

“Akira, what are you even looking at right now?” Hide said, peering over his partner’s shoulder to try to get a good look at her computer screen.

“I’m reading up on other rising problem ghouls in the area. Who knows what our next assignment will be. It’s always best to be prepared.”

Hide groaned. “Don’t get so ahead of yourself.”

“This investigation is wrapping up. Maybe you should read some of these reports too. You can never be too prepared, Hide.” Akira scolded.

“I’ve read those reports like a million times and so have you.”

“Well we all aren’t blessed with your memory. Now shut up and sit down.”

“Okay, mom.”

Akira turned to face Hide and opened her mouth to retort something probably pretty sassy, when suddenly her phone started going off.

“It’s Amon.” She said, looking at the screen. The other three investigators quieted down. “Hello?”

Akira’s facial expression did not change as she listened.

“We’re on our way.” She hung up.

“~oooh Amon-san found the hide-out didn’t he?” Juuzou questioned with an eager giggle.

“Yes.” Akira answered shortly, grabbing her suit jacket from around the back of her chair and shrugging it on in one smooth motion. “They’ve been hiding out in one of the abandoned factories in the center of the ward. We are to meet Amon there and brace ourselves for a long battle. It seems all of the ghouls are in. We should hurry, though, or else Amon might have to face off against them alone, and while he is capable of holding his own against even S-rank ghouls, I highly doubt he’d last all that long if they were to gang up on him.”

Hide winced at the thought of Amon battling the entire gang, and Seido looked determined to come to his boss’ (re. hero’s) rescue. Juuzou was smiling as always.

“Let’s hurry then!” Seido gushed, practically rushing out of the office, yanking an amused Hide by the arm of his jacket and pulling him onwards in his haste. Juuzou giggled as he followed his colleagues out the door.

...

It didn’t take long for the remaining four doves to meet up with their boss, but by that time the unfortunate scenario Akira had mentioned was already playing out. Amon was fending off Wasp, Beetle, Fire Ant, and Tarantula all on his own. He shouted, as he caught sight of the newly arrived back-up squad, blocking attacks from every side before going down.

Seido and Juuzou were the first ones to run in, the latter cackling manically.

With his almost super-human speed, Juuzou managed to sweep in and engage Tarantula in combat, guiding the ghoul away from the others with the use of his Jason quinque. Meanwhile, Seido disarmed Wasp, coming between the other ghouls and a bleeding Amon, who was struggling to stand again.

“Hide, go after Beetle.” Akira commanded, nodding off in the direction of the A-ranked ghoul, who seemed to have already taken some damage from Amon, judging by the ghoul’s crushed and bleeding left hand.

“I’m on it!” Hide replied, impossibly cheerfully. However, at this point Akira no longer batted an eye at his unusual positivity. They’d been partners for long enough that she’d grown accustomed to it.

Hide knew he tended to stand out in the CCG, with his bright hair and equally bright personality. But he couldn’t help it. What was the point in life if not for having fun? Especially in their line of work, it was important to keep a positive attitude, and Hide was practically always bursting with positive energy.

He had joined the academy after high school, taking advantage of one of their programs which completely paid for his college on the condition that he came to work for the CCG for at least six years after graduation. Turns out, Hide had a knack for investigating.

Having been the class clown in high school and possessing a naturally devious mind under his sunny personality worked out pretty well for Hide. Apparently, pranking ability was directly proportional to investigative talents. He was a natural, and in only two years he had made First Class – which was quite the accomplishment if he did say so himself.

“Be careful.” Akira cast her apprentice a meaningful look.

“Of course!” Hide replied with a bright smile. Akira nodded, before rushing into the chaos and diverting Fire Ant’s attention away from Amon and Seidou.

Meanwhile, Hide engaged his quinque as well, sprinting towards the building. Beetle had disappeared down a dark hallway, but the trail of blood left by his injured hand was enough for Hide to pursue.

Cautiously, Hide made his way through the building, following the trail left behind by the bleeding ghoul. It took a lot for the blonde to desensitize himself enough to kill most ghouls, but he didn’t think he’d have much of a problem killing this one. Just last week, they had found the remains of an entire family – two parents, four kids, one grandmother – completely and purposelessly slaughtered, no evidence of eating, just murder for the sake of murder. RC cells found at the scene match the RC cell DNA structure for Beetle in the CCG’s database. Hide was an empathetic kind of guy and to some extent, he could condone the plight of ghouls. However, some of them took things too far. Some of them were brutal and sadistic. Some of them really were the monsters they were made out to be. Beetle was one of those ghouls.

BANG.

“Fuck!”

Hide swore as, from out of nowhere, the ghoul dropped onto his path, boots loudly clanking against the metal of the platform. The ghoul advanced with a growl the second his feet hit the ground. Quickly, Hide dodged an onslaught of strikes from the ghoul’s koukaku dagger.

“Die CCG scum!”

Beetle warranted his A-rank, Hide would give him that.

“Ah!” Hide breathed, backing up as he dodged attack after attack, blocking a few with his own quinque as the ghoul forced him to retreat. He was careful to maintain his footing, not wanting to make a fatal error and give the ghoul the upper hand, especially while fighting astride such a narrow metal platform. While the strip of metal did have a railing on each side, Hide really didn’t want to test its strength any time soon.

Hide huffed, ducking low while the ghoul struck down, his koukaku getting stopped by the railing as Hide rolled out of the way.

Beetle growled lowly, his kakugan practically burning in rage. “I fucking hate investigators. I’ll kill you all!”

Hide did not dignify that statement with a response, instead maneuvering so he was behind the ghoul and switching his quinque to bikaku mode, wrapping the tail end of the whip around one of Beetle’s legs and forcing him to lose his balance.

From that point on, the battle went well for Hide. After a few more minutes of grappling, he finally managed to get the upper hand and eliminate the deadly ghoul with a quick strike to the heart. Hide fell to his knees, panting, as the ghoul slid lifelessly to the floor.

After taking a few more seconds to collect himself, he walked over to the body and put a hand to the communication device in his ear, ready to tell Akira that his mission was complete, when suddenly, with no forewarning whatsoever, the platform gave out.

The only thing Akira heard was his short scream of panic as he fell.

“Hide? Hideyoshi! Crap!”

…

“Ugh…” Hide groaned, opening his eyes and trying to adjust them to the new darkness of his surroundings. He was alive – very very sore and in a dark pit – but alive so that was good. His communication device and quinque fell somewhere on the dirty floor – less good. Beetle still seemed to be dead. Small victory.

“Hmm… what to do, what to do….” Hide said to himself, staring up at the bright hole in the ceiling from which he fell. Well, it wasn’t likely he would be able to climb back through there. Looks like he’d have to do some exploring instead. All while dragging Beetle’s body behind him. After he found his quinque and communicator.

Dammit.

Hide sighed to himself and took a step forward, freezing immediately at the sound of something crunching under his foot.

Oh. If he broke his communicator, he was going to scream.

Hide lifted his foot, examining the contents left behind on the ground.

Not his ear piece.

Just a severed human hand, no biggie.

No need to panic here.

Hide looked up again, this time really taking a good look around at his surroundings. His eyes were adjusted to the darkness by now, so everything was clearer. He was in a pit, littered with bones.

Bones everywhere, all human, some covered in dried blood, most of them scattered around in a frenzy, as if their owners had been ripped apart limb from limb by an angry ghoul. A lump formed in Hide’s throat. He needed to find his quinque. Now.

This was, undoubtedly, the lair of the Black Widow, and he was in no shape to be facing off against an S-rank ghoul alone. Forget dragging Beetle’s body with him: if she found him here, he was as good as dead. He needed to get out as fast as possible.

With a newfound panic, Hide scanned the pit for signs of his weapon, but found none. All he saw were bones and skulls and more bones. He was so screwed.

“Come on where are you….” Hide said to himself quietly, while searching the floor. He did not like being weaponless on the job. He did not like being weaponless on the job. He did not like being weaponless on the job. He did not like –

“Looking for this?”

Shit – fuck.

The investigator’s entire body went ridged as a cool woman’s voice broke the silence of the lair. His eyes felt like they were bugging out of his head and his blood ran cold. Slowly, and not without a large amount of willpower, Hide turned around.

Standing a few meters away was a tall middle-aged woman with sleek shoulder length black hair and a satisfied smirk on her bloodstained lips. One hand was placed tauntingly on her cocked hip while the other held up Hide’s quinque and earpiece.

The young investigator could not seem to formulate any words – there was a baseball sized lump in his throat and his brain had short circuited.

She’d been there the entire time, hadn’t she?

“Well?” The woman asked, a fake pout adorning her face that couldn’t quite mask the obvious glee in her voice at the prospect of having a first class investigator in such a compromising situation.

“U-uh.” Hide swallowed the lump in his throat as his brain kicked into high speed, trying to think of a solution to his current predicament. He was not going down without a fight – no way.

Maybe the others were looking for him? He might make it out of this one yet. He just needed to do some stalling.

“Oh – uh – yeah!” His voice echoed off the dark walls, not quite sounding as bright as it usually did but hey, he was face-to-face with the deadliest known ghoul in the area with no weapon at the moment, he had a right to be terrified.

Hide forced himself to laugh good-naturedly. Black Widow raised an eyebrow at him, unamused. “That’s, uh, that’s mine. Took a nasty spill from the hallway up there. You guys could probably use a contractor or a carpenter or something to fix this place up! Wouldn’t want any more accidents in your… um… death pit.”

Black Widow glared for a moment, her dark eyes turning black and red. Hide gulped. “Accidents? Like… this?” She asked, dropping his communicator to the ground and smashing it under her foot.

So much for calling for backup. Looks like Hide would just have to stall for as long as possible and hope for his team to come to his rescue, or else he’d likely end up joining the pile of mismatched bones littering the floor.

Hide took a deep breath, channeling his inner Shawn Spencer. Time to suddenly develop the power to talk himself out of getting murdered. Hell yeah.

“Yeah… kinda like that you could say. Though that didn’t really look like an accident. Sorta seemed like you did that on purpose – rude. What if I broke one of your – ” Hide took a moment to look around, searching for something to break. “ – Skulls!” He finished.

Black Widow shook her head, taking a slow step forward. Hide couldn’t help the step back he took in response. “You know what I like about you humans?”

“Our impeccable taste in home décor? If you want, I could refer you to an interior designer to liven this place up for you a bit. It may be a little costly but I could totally get you the friends and family discount.”

Black Widow smiled a shark-like, sharp lipped smile that had her eyes dancing with evil delight. “No… I don’t think that will be necessary. What I like about you humans, is how differently you react when face-to-face with certain death. Most of you scream and run away, some try to fight, some simply freeze and stand there absolutely petrified while I tear out their intestines – ”

“ – that was an unnecessary image – ”

“But sometimes… I get a fun one.” By this time Hide was backed up against the farthest wall, the ghoul a mere inches from his face and his quinque forgotten on the other side of the room.

“You investigators are always very entertaining.” She continued, cupping his face almost lovingly, demonic eyes sparking with amusement when she saw him jump. “You’re all so much braver – probably because you’re trained to deal with the supernatural or something – but either way, you all provide something different.”

Black Widow paused then, stepping back to give Hide some breathing room and catch his breath before the sound of ripping flesh stopped his heart all over again. Eight shiny blue rinkaku kagune sprouted from her back.

“A lot of times I get angry investigators, shouting about how horrible and evil I am and how one day I’d meet my match.” She feigned a sigh, flipping her sleek black hair over one shoulder dramatically in a very ‘woe is me’ sort of motion.

Suddenly, Black Widow blinked, looking surprised. Then, she laughed.

Hide had to take a second to realize he’d voiced his opinion aloud. Oops.

“I’ve always had a flare for the dramatics.” She explained. “That’s why I love moving from ward to ward. I love seeing the look of shock on the faces of the investigators I meet in each place as they realize I’ve moved into their territory. I love ripping the places to shreds – marking it as my own, if you will – before picking a new destination and starting all over. But above all else, I absolutely adore putting you ghoul killers in your place.”

Something slid around Hide’s ankle, and he had to take a moment to realize it was one of her kagune. He jumped, trying to jerk away. She simply held on tighter, stepping closer, eyes burning with murderous satisfaction.

“Aren’t you going to shout about your friends’ victories? Or how you will be avenged? Aren’t you going to tell me I’m going to be put in my place?” She asked sweetly, blood stained lips dangerously close to Hide’s jugular.

“A-ah… no?”

Black Widow huffed. “That’s good. I’m tired of hearing that crap. I’m in my Fifties, you know. Not many ghouls live that long. I think that’s a testament to my skills. You don’t stand a chance, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? I’m not twelve.”

“You’re a strange one. It’s not often I get the kind that likes to make jokes in the face of danger.”

“W-well you’re welcome. For ch-changing up your routine or whatever.”

The grip on his ankle hardened. “I’ve always hated that kind.”

Ah, shit.

Suddenly, Hide was lifted in the upside down, held up only by the single tentacle wrapped around his leg. He braced himself for whatever was about to come next, trying not to think about it too hard and failing miserably. All he could think about was getting smashed against the wall, or slammed roughly into the ground, or being impaled by another tentacle. Oh god, what terrible ways to die. He did not want to die. He was not ready for this.

Hide couldn’t help the scream of terror that left his throat as he suddenly felt himself moving again. His blood was rushing in his ears and he was certain he was about to lose several internal organs, but to his pleasant surprise, he instead found himself slammed once more against the ground by the sheer force of gravity and nothing more.

Black Widow had dropped him.

Something was screaming, but Hide was too hopped up on adrenaline to tell if it was coming from him or not. Instead, he scrambled off the ground, trying to make a break for his quinque lying on the other side of the room but stopping when his left foot kicked off the ground. A sharp pain shot up his leg.

His ankle was definitely broken.

Barely able to move, Hide looked around with wide eyes, wondering if it would be worth trying to crawl to his quinque.

He made that decision the moment his eyes locked on the back of a figure that hadn’t been there before.

Another ghoul, also rinkaku but with four red tentacles instead of eight blue ones, stood between himself, and the Black Widow, who was still shrieking in rage.

Distantly, Hide grasped that she must have been the one to scream, probably as the new ghoul had ripped off her right arm.

Oh, she was missing an arm.

That was a lot of blood.

Ugh, Hide was in so much pain, but luckily Black Widow seemed to be more focused on the new ghoul than him at the moment. If he could just get to his quinque….

As quietly as possibly, Hide pulled his battered body off the ground, putting more weight on his right foot than his left. He was only able to move several paces before collapsing to the ground again, his muscles screaming in agony.

Where the hell was Akira?

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Distantly, Hide heard the female ghoul growling, her voice low and menacing.

“I asked you nicely.” The other ghoul responded. His voice was even toned, almost bored sounding. “You did not listen.”

Panting, Hide tried to pull himself up again, inching his way to his quinque as the two ghouls had it out, as if reaching the weapon could save his life. Realistically, he knew he was in no shape to do battle against even a C-rank ghoul in his condition, but he would feel better if he had a weapon in his hand.

“Are you crazy?” Black Widow spat, her eyes narrowed menacingly at the second ghoul. “I don’t take orders from self-righteous brats. You don’t own this ward!”

“Actually I do.” The second ghoul spoke up, voice as apathetic as before. “Ward 15 has been under my jurisdiction for nearly two years and I can’t let you kill excessively and draw doves to the area.” He gestured to Hide as he spoke, as if to solidify his point. “I asked you to leave once already, and you did not. So now I’m afraid I have to kill you.”

Black Widow’s laugh pierced the dark room, sending chills down Hide’s spine. The blond had now reached his quinque and was huddled against the wall and hanging on to his whip’s handle for dear life. There was nothing he could do but wait this out and hope the second ghoul deemed him too insignificant to bother killing.

Who was he kidding – he was a dove. Whichever ghoul won this confrontation, Hide was dead either way. His only hope was his comrades. If only they’d hurry up and find him already.

“Oooh, boy, you’ve got some nerve try’na tell me what to do. I don’t take orders from ghouls like you. You’re a disgrace to our species.”

“… Well I see there’s no hope in reasoning with you.”

Black Widow’s response was a low, animalistic growl. That inhuman sound was also the only warning she gave as she charged, fast and angry, at the other ghoul. Hide pressed himself against the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible while the two ghouls dueled.

Black Widow was fast and strong as hell. Her coordination of her kagune was excellent as well, Hide noted. It was no wonder she warranted an S-rating from the CCG.

Though, as the match drew on, it became all the more apparent that while Black Widow was certainly powerful, the other ghoul had her outmatched.

Black Widow was fast, but the other was faster.

Black Widow had more tentacles, but the other’s regeneration was so unbelievably rapid, it was as if every blow she landed was insignificant to him.

Black Widow was strong and well coordinated, but the other had higher stamina.

All in all, they couldn’t have been fighting for more than five minutes before the ghoul with the red kagune snapped Black Widow’s head clean off her shoulders, leaving the elder ghoul’s body to slump lifelessly to the ground.

Hide was stunned, and a little terrified, by the exhibition of raw power shown by the new ghoul. If he thought he was hopeless against Black Widow, he was practically already dead against this new opponent.

Please let Akira find me, please let Akira find me, please let Akira find me. Please –

“Are you alright?”

What.

Hide cracked his eyes open, barely registering the fact that he’d unconsciously closed them as he took in the surprising sight in front of him.

The new ghoul was squatting a few paces away from him and clutching his side, red seeping through his fingers. He was examining Hide with a calculating look in his eye, but no visible signs of ill-intent. In fact, the look in his only showing kakugan was gentle, imploring, and not at all threatening like it had been moments before when he was confronting Black Widow. His pulsing red kagune were still spread behind him, though, offsetting the gentle look in his eye and giving the ghoul a more ominous appearance in conjunction with his creepy black and red grinning mask and bloodstained white hair.

“Um… what?” Hide couldn’t help but ask. At first glance, the ghoul looked absolutely terrifying. Upon closer inspection, he did not look like he was planning on attacking.

“I said, are you alright?” The ghoul repeated, voice muffled by the mask.

“I – I think so…. Erm… and you?” Hide offered awkwardly, not entirely sure how to act in this situation.

The ghoul blinked, looking slightly surprised that Hide had returned the question.

However, instead of answering, the ghoul rose to his feet and took a moment to look around the room. Finally seeming to decide on a course of action, he lashed out one of his crimson kagune and tossed the bodies of both Black Widow and Beetle up through the hole Hide had made when he fell.

He turned back to the stunned investigator. “Sorry you got caught in the middle of this.” He offered weakly, stretching a tentacle towards Hide, who instinctively tried to back up even more but only ended up hitting his head against the wall behind him.

“Ow – w-wait! No need to kill me! I’m just – ”

“Whoa calm down, I’m not going to kill you.” The ghoul held up his hands, retracting his kagune. “Er, sorry, I guess I should have explained myself first…. Can I give you a lift back through the ceiling?”

Hide froze. “You’re… not going to kill me?”

“…No.”

“Great!” Hide exclaimed, a little bit of hope easing the tight coil of wariness in his chest. He lifted his hands over his head like a toddler asking for a piggy back ride. “Get me outa here, Mr. Ghoul!”

The ghoul gave him a look that was equal parts unimpressed and reprimanding, with just a dash of exasperation thrown in for good measure. Hide had seen this look on Akira’s face multiple times when she was annoyed at him for something or trying to silence him with just a glare, asserting her authority without a single word. Consequently, he had dubbed it the ‘mom look’. Hide had never met another person who possessed the ability to wield The Mom Look to the same severe degree as Akira.

Discovering a dangerous ghoul that could rival Akira’s potent glare was certainly an interesting twist in his day. Unfortunately, the adrenaline running through his system coupled with this bizarre discovery stunned Hide into hysterical laughter, which did not seem to have been the ghoul’s intention.

A low growl brought Hide back to reality.

“Sorry – sorry!” Hide said, wiping his eyes. The white-haired ghoul simply continued to level him with his unimpressed stare, arms folded across his chest and one foot slightly in front of the other, tapping impatiently on the ground like an angry parent trying to decide the best way to punish their disobedient child.

Hide let out a few more laughs before finally composing himself. “I’m good – I’m good. Sorry it’s just, heh, you remind me of my partner.”

At that, the ghoul’s posture relaxed a bit and his harsh gaze softened, though not without an eyeroll.

“Whatever.” His voice was apathetic as he stretched a kagune out towards Hide once more. This time, Hide forced himself to relax as the appendage wrapped around him, lifting him off the ground and up through the hole in the ceiling. It hurt quite a bit, considering most of his body was littered with bruises from both falls, but it didn’t seem like the ghoul was doing it on purpose, so whatever. Hide would take what he could get. That the ghoul was helping him at all was reason to rejoice.

The investigator hissed in pain as he was dropped next to the bodies of Black Widow and Beetle, landing painfully on his broken foot. He collapsed to the ground the moment he was released, checking himself over for injuries now that he was in better lighting.

A moment later, four red appendages burst through the hole, hoisting their owner out of the pit as well. The ghoul landed gracefully on his feet. It looked like the wound on his side had already healed as well. That was some damn fast regeneration he had.

“Thanks.” Hide managed with a small but very genuine smile. Exhaustion was starting to take over, his adrenaline high dissipating and leaving him with an increasing awareness of all the bumps and bruises littering his body, as well as the tiredness pulling behind his eyes.

The ghoul nodded curtly, a small unspoken ‘you’re welcome’. “Again, sorry you got caught in the middle of this. I meant to eliminate this gang several days ago. Your colleagues are all fine, by the way. They seemed to have been in the process of defeating Tarantula and Fire Ant when I arrived on the scene. I imagine they were victorious.”

Hide nodded gratefully, glad to hear his friends were okay. Hopefully they weren’t nearly as beaten up as he was, though. “Thanks….”

The ghoul retracted his kagune. His eye swept over Hide’s form once more before he inclined his head politely and turned away, casually making his way down the hallway like he did this sort of thing every day. A couple seconds later, he turned a corner and was gone.

‘What a strange ghoul’ was Hide’s last thought before he let the blackness creeping along the edges of his vision finally claim him.


	2. Weird Ghoul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk why, but I love the idea of the CCG being lik OMG THIS GOOL IS SO POWERFUL AND TERRIFYING AND LIK SO INTIMIDATING WE SHOULD KILL IT IDK WHAT TO BELIEVE AAAAAH
> 
> And meanwhile Kaneki's just like, somewhere far away, coloring with Hinami and being a smol child

It wasn’t long after Hide had opened his eyes that all of his aches and ailments hit him like a freight train. He groaned in agony, shifting and then immediately regretting it as several fresh waves of pain assaulted his nervous system. 

“He lives!”

“Stop moving so much, Hide.” 

“~Wow he’s waking up sooner than I thought he would~” 

“Nagachika, how do you feel?”

Seidou.

Akira. 

Juuzou. 

Amon. 

It took Hide’s brain a few seconds to process what was going on around him, but he was slowly registering the sharp scent of anesthetics in the air, the impossible white of the walls, and the four worried faces of his friends. After a few more seconds of fading in and out of consciousness, Hide’s eyes snapped wide open, and he shot up in his bed, a new wave of adrenaline waking him up immediately and numbing the soreness of his muscles. 

“Whoa, slow down.” 

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop moving. Honestly.” 

“~ahahaha welcome baaaack.” 

Hide blinked. “Guys?” He inquired, almost disbelieving that he was alive and well. He should be dead – Black Widow should have killed him – why wasn’t he dead?

A creepy smile, a flash of silvery white, and four red tentacles suddenly flashed across his memory. 

Oh yeah, that’s why he wasn’t dead. 

“We’re here, buddy.” Seido said, looking considerably more relaxed than Amon and Akira as he reclined back in the chair he had pulled up and popped a few pieces of some sort of vending machine candy into his mouth. “But damn you took one hell of a beating – how the hell did you manage to nab Black Widow all by yourself? Shoulda saved some of the action for– ow! what the hell, Akira!?”

“Have a little tact, Takizawa. Hideyoshi could have died.” Akira scolded. Seidou merely grumbled, rubbing the spot on his head where he had been hit while Juuzou giggled, overjoyed. 

“What – ” Hide paused when his voice came out hoarse, taking a moment to clear his throat. “What happened?”

“We were kind of hoping you could tell us.” Amon said, leveling Hide with a gentle stare. “After we defeated the other ghouls, we went looking for you in the warehouse. You were supposed to retreat after you killed Beetle, but since you screamed into Akira’s ear in the middle of our battle, we were, understandably I think, a little worried about you. Then we found you passed out next to two ghoul corpses in a dark hallway.” 

“You looked like shit.” Akira added helpfully.

“He still looks like shit.” Seidou amended.

“Thanks, guys. That’s very helpful of you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Anyway.” Amon said sternly, cutting off any other amount of banter that might have started. “Tell us what happened.”

Hide took a deep breath, composing himself, before beginning. “Well, I fought Beetle like Akira ordered me to. I defeated him, everything was fine, but then the hallway gave out underneath us. You guys noticed the big hole in the platform, right?”

After receiving several nods, Hide continued. 

“The platform collapsed and I fell into the pit. Turns out the pit just so happened to have been Black Widow’s lair. I dropped my quinque when I fell so I had no way of protecting myself. She had me cornered. I tried to stall but… it was pointless. She would have killed me except… something weird happened.” 

“What?” Seido pressed, looking interested. 

“Another ghoul showed up.” 

“Another ghoul?” Akira questioned. “There was another ghoul on the scene and none of us noticed?”

Hide nodded. “Yeah – he totally saved my life too. He just swooped in out of nowhere and ripped Black Widow’s head off. But, that’s not the weird part.” Hide frowned as the rest of the memory pieced itself back together. Now that his life wasn’t in danger, his head was clear to analyze what had taken place, and the more he thought about it, the stranger it all was. “You know how in some wards one particular group of ghouls tends to rule? Like, how one gang can take over, you know, territory wars or whatever.” 

“Yes…. Go on.” Akira prompted. 

“You know how we all thought ward 15 hadn’t been totally claimed due to the rapid influx and subsequent disappearances of high ranking ghouls?”

The four nodded. 

“Well, the ghoul that saved me told Black Widow that he owns the ward, and has for quite some time. It actually seemed like they had talked before, and he asked her to leave or whatever but she didn’t, so he decided to kill her to… I don’t know, to keep his claim of the ward perhaps?”

“You’re saying the 15th ward has a powerful ghoul overlord?” Seidou chuckled nervously. 

“I guess.” Hide shrugged. “At least, it’s not the open territory we all thought it was.”

“That would actually make sense.” Amon cut in, looking thoughtful. “Most high level gangs that manage to control an entire ward lead in chaos. Take Aogiri for example, or the Brotherhood in 8, or the Nightwalkers in 22. We’ve only really studied gangs that pose major threats to the CCG. If, however, the 15th ward also has a top ghoul, but that ghoul did not actively oppose the CCG, it would be hard for us to tell that such a ghoul exists. However, it would explain the strange pattern of ghoul disappearances in the area. We don’t have any outstanding ghouls. We tend to get ghouls that have abandoned their wards in favor of migrating into 15, however, those ghouls are usually either caught by us, or they move on, or they disappear without a trace, never causing trouble again. That could be because there’s an organization in 15 that’s actively eliminating any potential threats to the seat of power in the ward. It’s ghoul on ghoul violence here, not ghoul on human.” 

Akira nodded thoughtfully. “Good observation, Investigator Amon. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Strange, though, that the ghoul would have spared Hide’s life. Wouldn’t it have been more reasonable to have killed him. If he had, we wouldn’t know any of this information and he could have remained hidden.” 

“He didn’t seem like he wanted to kill.” Hide chimed in. “He actually tried to talk Black Widow out of battle too. He only attacked her when he felt he had no choice.”

“How strange.” Akira said. 

“Maybe he’s a nice ghoul!” Juuzou said unhelpfully, tossing his arms in the air and spinning around in his chair like the Tasmanian Devil, but tripping on acid. 

Akira put a hand on the back of the chair, stopping it. Suzuya pouted. 

“So that was it?” Amon asked. “You got cornered by Black Widow and then rescued by a ghoul that claims to lead the 15th ward.”

“Pretty much.”

“Alright. I’ll take this information to Shinohara-san as soon as possible. Now, can you remember what he looked like? I’ll take anything you can give me: age estimations, mask, height, kagune type etc.”

“Oh I remember what he looked like.” Hide said, shaking his head slightly. “The guy was terrifying. Um, let’s see. Rinkaku. He was on the shorter side, aaand I think he was pretty young but it’s hard to tell, since most of his face and body were covered up. But he did have white hair so maybe I’m wrong. He – ”

“What did you say?” Amon said quietly. Suddenly his eyes were locked with Hide’s, narrowed and intense, scrutinizing Hide as if he’d just told some horrible lie. 

“Um… I said he’s short and young, and his hair is white. He was wearing all black – ”

“ – But there were two white stripes on the sleeves of his undershirt and at the tops of his boots – ”

“Yes! Oh and his mask was creepy as hell – ”

“ – black leather, unsettling smile with a zipper running through it – ”

“ – teeth bared in a menacing smile – ”

“ – eyepatch covering his right kakugan – ”

“ – only one visible kakugan – ”

There was a pause in conversation, then, as Hide and Amon stared each other down, neither sure how to react. Hide was stunned by the strange tension that had arisen in a matter of seconds, and Amon seemed to be watching him warily, like he thought Hide would stand up and shout ‘Surprise! I’m just kidding, but man you should’ve seen the look on your face!’ any moment. 

Akira and Seidou were silent, but Juuzou was apparently just as confused as Hide was, because he said, in his ever lilting tone of voice, “What’s with all the glum faces? ~Do you guys know this ghoul or something?”

Amon didn’t pay Juuzou any mind, eyes staying firmly locked on Hide’s. “Was it really him?” He asked. There was a strange emotion in his voice, and if Hide didn’t know any better, he would have said it was awe. 

“Yeah that’s… that’s what the ghoul looked like. Do you know who he is? I haven’t read anything about an active ghoul that fits that description.” 

“Of course you wouldn’t have. He was active before you had even left the academy, and only in the 20th ward.” Amon said, sitting back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. The expression on his face – it was definitely awe. Hide didn’t understand why, but Amon seemed to be almost elated at this discovery. “The ghoul that saved you – he supposedly died three years ago at the hands of Arima Kishou during the Owl Extermination Operation. He… was the first ghoul I ever fought by myself.”

“Oh yeah!” Suzuya barked. “I remember him now ~ everyone kept making a big deal about him and then he died.” 

“I don’t… understand.” Hide admitted.

“There were a lot of things happening that night.” Amon said, seeming to be talking more to himself than anyone else at this point, trying to rationalize. “They never recovered a body – they thought Aogiri had collected it. He was presumed dead but… I suppose it is possible that he survived. Though why we haven’t seen him until now is bizarre. He was extremely active until his confrontation with the Arima.” 

“Wait wait wait, someone’s gonna have to fill me in, here.” Hide cut in. He did not like not knowing what other people were thinking. Usually, he was two steps ahead of everyone (except for Akira), so being the person with the least amount of information had him feeling a bit agitated. 

Hearing the distress in her partner’s voice, Akira leaned over to explain. “Three years ago, the ghoul organization Aogiri Tree declared war on the CCG. Around the same time, a small unnamed group of ghouls lead by the Eyepatch started targeting other ghouls. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if it weren’t for the leader’s unusual behavior. While most ghouls tended to flock toward the safety and chaos provided by Aogiri Tree, others, such as the infamous Gourmet, associated themselves with the Eyepatch group, which generally seemed to oppose Aogiri’s belief in ghoul superiority.”

“Eyepatch was very strong.” Amon cut in. “A lot stronger than he looks. The first time I fought him, I severely underestimated him based on his appearance. He kicked my ass though. I even have the scar to prove it.” 

To emphasize his point, Amon pulled down the shoulder of his shirt, revealing a large circular scar on his shoulder. A bite mark. 

“Dude.” Hide said. 

“Cool!” Juuzou agreed, looking like he wanted to touch it. As if sensing the youngest’s train of thought, Amon pulled his shirt back up. 

“He was a strange one… even back then. He took a bite out of my shoulder, destroyed my quinque, then told me to run away because he didn’t want to kill me. Then he suddenly starts showing up all over the ward, though there were never any human murders connected to him, or at least the CCG never managed to find any. He, and a group of ghouls known as the Gas Masks who used to rule the 11th ward before Aogiri took control, singlehandedly destroyed the Ghoul Restaurant in 20, killing most of its patrons which included several S-rank ghouls. We bumped him to SS-rank after that. He attacked Shinohara during our investigation of Dr. Kanou yet all signs pointed to him opposing ghouls who killed humans excessively. However, he fought against the CCG during the Owl Extermination… broke my quinque again… then ran into Arima.”

“Where he was presumed dead.” Hide finished. Amon had this childlike look of wonder on his face as he talked about the ghoul. It made Hide wonder what their interactions had been like, if they had been just as confusing as Hide’s interaction with him had been. Something told him yes, yes they had. Otherwise, why would Amon, a seasoned investigator, look happy to find out an SS-rank ghoul was still alive. 

“Where we presumed he was dead.” Amon nodded. 

“So… what does this mean?” Hide asked. 

Akira shrugged. “We write up a report like normal, turn it in, and wait for our next orders. This piece of information will certainly change how investigators are asked to approach the ward, but seeing as we haven’t the slightest idea where Eyepatch went or what he does when he’s not murdering other ghouls, I doubt any team will be assigned to his case. It’s likely the report will be filed away and we’ll continue working as normal. As proven by past investigations, his case is a dead end.”

“Okay so… can we talk about something other than work now?” Seidou said, looking mildly bored. “Like this is cool and everything, but Houji and I already got our next assignment, and I’m getting a headache listening to this.” 

Akira looked affronted. 

“Let’s talk about Amon’s eyebrows!” Juuzou shouted, springing up from his chair and landing on his feet with his arms in the air the way a gymnast would pose after doing a flip. 

Hide burst out laughing. 

“Wha-What’s wrong with my eyebrows?!”

 

…  
Special Class Shinohara didn’t know what to think after reading the report the Mado Squad had dropped on his desk that evening. The mission was successful – that part was clear. 

However, things seemed to be far more complicated in the 15th ward than they initially thought, especially if what 1st Class Nagachika said is true – the Eyepatch ghoul was alive and running the ward. 

Moreover, Shinohara didn’t know what to think about this – whether to be pleased to find someone he’d considered a distant but dangerous ally alive, or shocked and afraid of what it could mean that the ghoul had somehow managed to escape Kishou Arima. 

Three years ago, when the Eyepatch ghoul had first started to show up, Shinohara, like most CCG employees, didn’t know what to think. Amon seemed to struggle to understand the ghoul more than anyone else, yet Shinohara could understand his dilemma. For one, the ghoul had attacked and eaten part of his Arata Armor way back during the investigation of Dr. Kanou. On the other hand, even when he had Shinohara pressed against the floor he had avoided eating anything vital – like he was repulsed by the idea of eating human meat. 

Was he an ally or an enemy to be erased? He knew what his superiors would say. He also knew what Amon would say. Now, what Shinohara believed was an entirely different issue. 

After giving it another moment’s thought, Shinohara shrugged and filed the report away, logging off his computer for the evening. As there were no leads on where the Eyepatch could be hiding at the moment, there was no point in assigning a team his case. He supposed, for now, he would let the ghoul continue to run the ward. After all, it sounded like the ghoul was doing more good than harm, especially if he’d been cleaning up the ward these past three years. 

Eyepatch was a weird one – but not dangerous. The moment that changed, Shinohara would have hoards of investigators knocking down his door, but, for now, the CCG would let him be. 

With a sigh, Shinohara stood from his desk, pushing all thoughts of work-related subjects to the back of his mind. He had a family to go home to.


	3. Ghouls and Groceries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide ambushes Kaneki at a grocery store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write another chapter before this one about the CCG and stuff for plot reasons but then I thought... yeah, I don't want to. So here's a brief summary of what would have happened: 
> 
> Hide and Akira get a new mission investigating an S-rated ukaku ghoul called The Professor because its theorized he works at a university since most of his victims are college women. Seido also has a mission, and makes a bet with Akira about who can solve their case first.

“Hideyoshi Nagachika are you listening to me?!” 

“Yes! Yes mom, I’m sorry. I should have told you but – ” 

“Of course you should have told me! You were in the hospital! I worry about you!”

Hide sighed. He had been released from the hospital three months ago, and his foot had been taken out of its cast. He did his best to make sure his mother never knew he’d been injured, but of course, that was pointless. She may be three months too late but she had figured it out. She probably called Akira.

Mother’s intuition. 

“I know, I know that’s why I didn’t tell you! I didn’t want to freak you out. I mean, I’m fine now so – ” 

“Hide I’m your mother! You live in a completely different ward than me and fight flesh-eating monsters for a living! Of COURSE I’M GOING TO FREAK OUT WHEN I HEAR THAT MY ONLY CHILD IS IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE DECIDED TO HUNT MONSTERS INSTEAD OF DOING SOMETHING SENSIBLE!”

“Mooooooooooom.”

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, Mister! Things are getting dangerous! Don’t think I don’t watch the news too. I’m always flipping through the channels to see what’s going on because you never bother to tell me anything. Do you have any idea how stressful it is every time there’s a story about some dead investigator whose body was mutilated so horribly by a ghoul that they need to rely on DNA testing in order to even identify the body? Do you know how hard it is for me to see that and wonder if they could be talking about you? Because you never tell me anything! How am I supposed to know if you’re okay or not!?”

“I –” Hide hung his head, anxiety knotting in his stomach. “You’re right. You’re right I’m sorry. I’ll try not to hide things from you as much.”

On the other end of the phone, his mother groaned. “Oh you idiot. Good. I’m going to hold you to that and if you don’t I’m marching down to the CCG office in the 15th ward and getting the phone numbers of every one of your colleagues just so I can call them.” 

“Are you serious?”

“Mothers don’t joke.”

“Mom.” 

“Son.” 

Hide sighed again. “Okay, okay. I’ll call you on Friday. How does that sound?”

“Better. Alright, Hide. Be careful, okay?”

“Yeah, I will….” 

“No more hospital visits.” 

“I’ll try….” 

“You better. Bye, sweetie, I love you.” 

“Love you too.”

Hide hung up the phone as he made his way down one aisle, pushing his grocery cart mindlessly. Sometimes he wondered what had prompted him to chose such a dangerous profession. Sure, he always was a bit of a daredevil, a bit too adventurous for his mother’s tastes and prone to risk taking. And, of course he’d always had an interest in ghouls but he could have just as easily tried to become a scientist or technician for the CCG instead of becoming an investigator, where the real danger lurked. 

Eh, too late now. 

Besides, he loved his coworkers and felt like he was doing something good for the world. But… his mother had a point. Things were getting pretty dangerous. Then again, that’s why the CCG existed in the first place – to protect others from danger. It was just like being a fireman or a police officer with, like, ninety percent more chance of cannibalism. No biggie. 

As Hide mulled over his career choice, he pulled into the next aisle. He would have continued to worry about his friends’ safety and the threat of Aogiri if something, or rather someone, hadn’t caught his attention. 

The blond froze mid-step, eyes locking on a young man calmly examining a bag of chocolate chips before dropping them into his grocery cart. The scene wouldn’t have been strange if it weren’t for his oddly colored hair. 

White hair. 

It couldn’t be… could it? But that would make no sense. Why would a ghoul go grocery shopping? Then again, how many people had white hair? You know, excluding the elderly. He was about the same build as Eyepatch was; short, slim – though instead of being dressed in a battle suit he wore an oversized red sweater and black slacks (it was kind of cute). His hair was the same color as Eyepatch’s, and about the same length. And he was walking down the aisle, back turned to Hide, oblivious of the dove’s presence as he searched for some other ambiguous item that ghouls certainly should not be purchasing. 

On an impulse, Hide abandoned his cart and quickly walked down the aisle, stopping only when he was shoulder to shoulder with the young ghoul doppelgänger. “Hi!”

“Ack!” The boy jumped, dropping the bag of brown sugar he’d been holding and snapping his head around to face Hide, who was grinning like an idiot. 

“Baking cookies?” Hide asked, permanent smile plastered to his face as the white haired male looked at him in bewilderment. He blinked once and Hide saw a brief flash of recognition in his one visible gray eye as he regarded the stranger. 

Yup, yup, this was definitely Eyepatch – there was no way it wasn’t. Though, curiously, his eye patch was on the wrong side today. 

“U-uh… yeah.” The ghoul said, still looking slightly startled. Hmm, he looked different than Hide thought he would. His face was pale and smooth, angled but soft. The combination of his cute button nose, full pink lips, snowy hair, and owl-like gray eyes gave him an almost angelic appearance. His apparently timid nature only seemed to contribute to that. He was like a completely different person from the killer that had swooped in and saved Hide back in the warehouse. Don’t get him wrong – in the warehouse Eyepatch was still stunning, just in a different way. He had seemed confident and powerful, ruthless even (his kakugan blazing, a cold look cast at Black Widow, blood in his hair and on his vicious mask, crimson kagune ominously spread behind him). Now however… he looked startled, wide-eyed and shy, self-conscious in an endearing way. He was actually quite… attractive. 

God dammit, Hide what are you thinking? 

“Cool!” Hide said enthusiastically, and Eyepatch just stared at him in utter confusion. 

“Yeah….” He said, tearing his questioning eyes away from Hide’s long enough to bend down and pick up the bag of sugar he’d dropped and place it in his shopping cart. “Well – have a good day.” He added quickly, trying to make a swift get away. 

Not willing to let this opportunity slip by, Hide fell into step beside the shorter male. “Hey this is super random – but have we met? You look awfully familiar.” 

Eyepatch smiled politely, one hand gently touching the bottom of his chin (lying tick – thank god Hide watched so many police shows). “No I don’t think we have.” 

Hide actually laughed at that. “For such a dangerous ghoul, you’re a pretty terrible liar.” 

“Me? Ghoul? Don’t be ridiculous.” The young man responded, continuing to push his shopping cart and adopting an air of stoic disinterest. “I am but a simple baker.” 

Hide’s shit eating grin only grew. “O’reeeeeally?”

“Yes. Really.” 

“So what’s with the eye patch, Eyepatch?”

“Do you always make a habit of bothering random strangers?”

“Got a scar or something?”

“Rude.” 

“Seriously – it’s on the wrong side.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Dude, seriously, I even recognize your voice not to mention you’re the only white-haired person under fifty I’ve ever met.” 

“Actually I’m sixty-two – I just aged really well.”

Hide laughed and the corners of Eyepatch’s lips twitched upwards in a suppressed smile – a brief flash of amusement dancing in his visible eye before being wiped away once again in favor of his apathetic mask. 

They turned a corner and walked down another aisle, Eyepatch continuing to scan the shelves for whatever he was looking for in spite of Hide’s presence, and the fact that he was a ghoul. What ghoul goes grocery shopping? What the hell?

“So what’s with all the flour and sugar? Does the leader of the 15th ward like to bake cookies for the homeless on the weekends?” Hide teased, eyes still dancing with mischief and glee. 

Eyepatch glared. Without his mask, it was kind of cute. “No. Now why don’t you stop bugging me and go find your own groceries.” 

“So you’re admitting you’re the leader of ward 15?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” 

“I’m not – you were very clear in explaining that last time we met and I just have a good memory.” 

“You’re delusional.” 

“You’re in denial.” 

“Am not.” 

“Are too.” 

“You are stupid.”

“That’s what all my friends tell me!”

Eyepatch actually stopped at that and turned to look at Hide for a moment with an unreadable expression. The strange look only lasted for a moment, however, because an actual laugh broke his stubborn façade. It was a cute laugh. 

Eyepatch shook his head, smile still on his face. For some reason, Hide felt some sort of nervous excitement bubbling in his chest at the expression, and he practically beamed in response. 

“You’re unbelievable.” Eyepatch muttered, still trying to school his expression back into an emotionless mask – it wasn’t working (though it was a valiant and adorable struggle). 

Hide’s smile softened. “I know.” 

Eyepatch sighed and and ran a hand through his hair in stress. He abandoned the indifferent front completely, his shoulders dropping in defeat and a very worn appearance taking over. He looked exhausted, and for the first time Hide noticed the dark almost purple circles under his eyes. “What do you want?”

This time, Hide’s smile was gentle – still friendly, but less overwhelming. “I just wanted to talk.” He admitted. Eyepatch had saved him back in the warehouse. Hide had always wondered if “good” ghouls existed and the young man before him seemed to prove that they did. Amon’s and Shinohara’s testaments had only stoked the flame of Hide’s curiosity and validated his assumption that this was a good ghoul. He was SS-rated and deadly as hell, but so far he hadn’t shown the desire to kill for pleasure like the monsters ghouls were known to be. Like many of the other ghouls Hide had encountered. 

“Talk?”

The blonde’s smile widened and he held out a hand. “I am Nagachika Hideyoshi, first class investigator for the CCG. But you can call me Hide.” 

Eyepatch hesitated for a moment before allowing for a small wry smile and taking Hide’s hand. “In that case, you can call me Eyepatch.” 

“Nice to meet you!”

“Hm, likewise.” 

“So,” Hide said, hesitating now that he’d gotten the man to admit to his identity. He had so many questions, but no idea where to start. So, naturally, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. “Why are you grocery shopping?” Oh, God dammit. 

Eyepatch sighed, seeming to remember that they’d stopped in the middle of an aisle, and resumed pushing his cart at a leisurely pace. “What, ghouls can’t have hobbies too?”

Hide snickered a little at the dry way in which Eyepatch spoke. “Baking? Really?”

Something in Hide’s expression pulled both a smile and an eye roll from the other male, who was clearly very thrown off by this entire situation, and still telling either blatant lies, or half-truths (Hide wasn’t entirely sure which). “Fine. A friend wanted to learn how to bake cookies and how hard can it be to follow some directions on the back of a bag. Happy?” 

Hmm, liar. 

“I’m always happy!”

“Good for you.” Eyepatch scoffed. 

“Thanks – anyway that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” 

“Really? Are you sure you didn’t approach me so we could sit down and exchange notes on what other inappropriate hobbies both of us possess or perhaps discuss the shocking conclusion to Gossip Girl?” Eyepatch inquired sarcastically, earning a disbelieving laugh from the blonde investigator. 

“You do not watch Gossip Girl.” 

“You don’t know my life.” 

Holy shit Eyepatch was funny as hell. Hide did not know how to handle it. 

“Touché. So, admittedly I’m pretty new to the CCG and wasn’t around when you were on their hit-list for, you know, whatever reason.” Oh man this was awkward. It just occurred to Hide that he was talking to a potentially very dangerous individual, and if he slipped up and mentioned the wrong thing he could be in a lot of trouble. He did not want to provoke Eyepatch into attacking, but he also didn’t want to scare Eyepatch into running away. He was walking on a very thin line, right now, and he needed to chose his words carefully. Eyepatch seemed nice enough, but when it came down to it, he was still a ghoul. He still ate people. “But ever since your reappearance, everyone at the office has been talking about you and I’ve heard some… interesting stories.” 

Eyepatch winced a little, expression growing nervous and grim. “…Go on…” 

“My boss seems especially intrigued by you. He says you two fought at one point, and he’s actually the one who named you ‘Eyepatch’. I guess that was your first official sighting. Does this ring any bells?”

“I… think I know who you’re talking about… yes….” The boy’s voice was quiet now, and his eyes diverted from Hide’s in favor of staring down the aisle. “Tall man… cross necklace?”

“That’s him.” 

They were walking towards the check out now, all baking items gathered. Hide’s shopping cart was still abandoned but he had no intention of retrieving it. He couldn’t take his eyes of Eyepatch, lest he use the opportunity to escape. Not that that was unpleasant or anything, Eyepatch was pretty nice to look at. 

Stop it. 

“So… what about him?” Eyepatch asked as they stepped in line behind an elderly couple. 

“Well…” Hide looked around nervously for a moment. In the aisles they had been relatively isolated. Here, they were surrounded by people. “He was fascinated by you – said he’d never met another person like you before.” 

Eyepatch got the hint, nodding subtly while eyeing their surroundings. “I see… so he… listened to what I was saying?”

“Um… I don’t know? He didn’t mention anything to me about you guys having an actual conversation….” 

“What?” Eyepatch looked almost annoyed at that, and his small indignant outburst drew a cute little pout onto his face. Hide stared in amusement as the white haired boy went off, all the while placing his items on the small conveyer belt. They were next in line. “Nothing I said got through to him? Then what the hell is he so intrigued by?”

Hide laughed warmly, admiring the slight tinge of angry pink on the ghoul’s cheeks and they way his lips pressed together in irritation. He reached into the cart to help the shorter boy unload his groceries. The clerk was looking at them oddly. 

“I think, in his case, your actions spoke louder than your words.” Hide explained over the slight beep of items being scanned and then bagged. 

Eyepatch was calm now, but he still looked slightly miffed. “How so?”

“Your total is – ” The clerk cut in, which was probably a good thing because Hide really didn’t want to have to try to explain this while there were still people within earshot. 

“Hang on.” Eyepatch said, taking out his wallet and paying. Hide was a little disappointed that he paid in cash – he had been hoping he’d have to sign his name after using a credit card but oh well, it was probably best if he didn’t know Eyepatch’s real name anyway. 

“Thank you and have a great day!” The clerk said. 

“You too.” Eyepatch responded with a polite smile, reaching over to grab several bags. 

“Here let me help you.” Hide offered, also taking a few. 

“Erm. Thanks.” 

“Awww.” The clerk hummed quietly. Hide heard it nonetheless and looked up to find the clerk watching him and Eyepatch with an adoring expression. The blond gave her a questioning look but she just smiled gleefully and turned her attention to the next customer.  
For some odd reason that he couldn’t really place, Hide felt a bit embarrassed by this. To remedy his sudden uncharacteristic bashfulness, he refocused on gathering some of Eyepatch’s bags and followed the ghoul outside. 

It was a cool, cloudy day, and the slight breeze had Hide shivering a bit from the cold. Hopefully it wouldn’t rain. 

“So…” Eyepatch interrupted his trivial thoughts and brought Hide back to the present. “You were saying?”

Hide looked up at the clouds once more, and then down at the bags the both of them were carrying. He really didn’t want to have this conversation here. 

“Did you drive here?” He asked suddenly. 

“Wh-what? Uh… no.” 

“Okay, there’s a café down the road if you want to continue this conversation there, so we don’t get poured on and also so we don’t have to lug around your groceries.” Hide suggested. Besides, a nice cup of coffee sounded really good right now, and this way Eyepatch would be able to drink something too. 

“U-um…. Sure?”

“Sweet!” Hide exclaimed, thoughtful look gone and blinding sunshine smile in place once again. The ghoul just stared at him blankly, like he had absolutely no idea how to handle him. 

Ha! What a funny thought. Eyepatch was the one who was a big mystery. To think such a dangerous ghoul was baffled by him, Nagachika Hideyoshi, unofficial office-clown. He was just a human after all. 

They walked down the road, side by side. Occasionally, Hide would catch Eyepatch staring at him from the corner of his eye with an absolutely bewildered expression. Once, Hide had even turned to meet his eye, smiling at the other man while waggling his eyebrows and resulting in a short annoyed huff and the exasperated shake of a white head. Predictably, Hide had laughed. 

Upon arriving at the café, Hide ordered two coffees (one a latte, the other black) before showing Eyepatch to the most isolated corner of the place and sitting down. 

Hesitantly, Eyepatch sat down across from him. Hide got the feeling that if they hadn’t met in a public place, and if he hadn’t kept a close eye on the ghoul, Eyepatch would have fled ages ago. He silently thanked the crowded streets of Tokyo for preventing the other’s escape. Clearly, Eyepatch was not one to make a scene. 

“So….” Eyepatch said, looking nervous again as he took a sip of his coffee. “Where… where were we?”

“We were talking about the impression you left on my boss. Honestly, he was astounded when he found out you were still alive, and he looked almost excited – it was like he was overjoyed to find out that he still had a chance to speak with you again.” Hide explained. 

Eyepatch worriedly chewed on his bottom lip. “I really affected him that much?”

“Oh yeah.” The blond nodded, thought for a moment, then added, “And I can see why.”

That caught the other’s attention, and suddenly Hide’s eyes were being met again. Eyepatch said nothing, analyzing the dove with his stormy eye as he waited for him to continue. 

Hide cleared his throat and took a deep breath. It was time to get some answers. “You spared him.” He said quietly. The ghoul was sitting up in his chair, hanging onto his every word. “You could have easily killed him, but instead you chose to spare his life. He says you asked him not to make you a murderer.” Hide paused then, leaning back and returning the ghoul’s analyzing stare. “That implies that you’ve never killed. But that can’t be true.” 

Eyepatch swallowed, averting his gaze. He absently played with a loose string on his sweater as he mulled over his response. Hide waited patiently – he could tell this was a touchy topic for the ghoul. 

“I…” The boy started hesitantly, then closed his mouth again, frowning. Finally, he met Hide’s eyes and the blond was stunned by the whirlpool of raw emotion he saw written across his face. “I… I never wanted to be a killer.” His voice was quiet, and broken in a way Hide had never heard before. The blond prided himself on his ability to tell when someone was lying and a part of him still felt that Eyepatch was hiding something from him, yet this emotion, this unyielding sadness in the ghoul’s tone and written across his expression was so real and raw and potent that there was no way he was faking it. 

The one-eyed male shifted nervously in his seat, anxious hands now playing with the sleeve of his sweater. “It… wasn’t a choice… being this way – it – it isn’t a choice for any of us. We didn’t wake up one day and decide to – to be monsters. But I believe that, regardless of our fate, we have to try to do the right thing if we can help it. That’s why I hunt the ghouls who kill excessively. That’s why… I’ve never killed a human.”

Hide nearly sucked in a breath, sensing no lie in this admission. But how could that be? How could it be that a ghoul, a monster, a predator, had never once taken a human life? It was impossible yet… Eyepatch wasn’t lying. There were none of the telltale signs of a lie – he wasn’t sweating, there was no lying tick, no nothing. Sure, he was acting nervous and guilty but to Hide that seemed to have more to do with talking so openly with a dove and less to do with lying. Besides, what would he even have to gain by telling such a lie? It was the truth. Eyepatch has never killed a human. 

“But…” Hide started, unsure how to voice his disbelief. “What do you eat, then?”

For a moment, Eyepatch said nothing, staring out the window with such a forlorn expression that Hide suddenly felt like he was intruding on a private moment. 

“Sometimes… people end their own lives.”

Hide blinked. “So you eat…?”

“Yeah.” The other boy looked away again, watching some people through the window. A crack of lightning illuminated the sky. It reflected off the ghoul’s impossibly white hair. 

“Isn’t that… difficult?” Hide asked.

Eyepatch shrugged. “It may be less convenient but it is much better than the alternative. Why steal the life of someone who still has value? I have no right to kill those who still have a place and a purpose in this world, who still have a will and reason to live. But people kill themselves every day… so… there is no need to take the life of an innocent when….” Eyepatch was starting to trail off, voice growing fainter with each word. “It may be a bit more difficult to find the bodies… but….”

“But you don’t want to become a murderer. I understand.” Hide finished for him. Eyepatch shot him a grateful look. “So is that why you saved me? Back in the warehouse, when Black Widow had me cornered….”

The ghoul nodded. “Yeah I… well why would I want to kill you? There is no reason to spill needless blood.” 

“Still…. Thank you.” 

“… no problem. Just… ya know… be more careful. Ghouls who think like me are a minority.” 

“So there are others like you?”

Eyepatch gave a slight nod. “Of course.”

“That’s good to know. You… you’re good. You’re really good.”

Eyepatch looked taken aback by that statement, blinking in confusion and then disbelief as he analyzed Hide’s face for the signs of a lie. Upon finding none, he scoffed and averted his eyes. “I am a monster.” 

“You’re no monster. I may not know that much about you, but if what you’ve been saying is true, then you’re no monster.” Hide chuckled a bit at the accusing look on the ghoul’s face. He held up his hands in an ‘I surrender’ gesture. “Honest. I may be pretty new to the organization but I’ve fought a lot of really terrible ghouls; ghouls who have left any semblance of humanity they might have known behind in favor of becoming mindless, bloodthirsty monsters. You, however, are not one of them, and trust me – I know a monster when I see one.”

Eyepatch’s gaze was scrutinizing, like he was suspicious that Hide had ill intentions when telling him this. Strange, how after everything they’d discussed, telling him that he wasn’t a monster would set him on edge. Of all things. Honestly. 

“What?” Hide questioned with a laugh. Eyepatch was looking at him like he’d suddenly sprouted a second head. 

“You’re serious?”

The investigator laughed. “Of course I am. I meant what I said.” Hide let the laugh die and softened his tone once more, hoping to express his belief more accurately. “I don’t think you’re a monster.”

With that, the same disheartening look of a deep, impenetrable despair rooted itself on Eyepatch’s face like it was meant to be there. Something clenched in Hide’s chest. God, why did he look so damn vulnerable all of a sudden? SS-rated ghoul his ass, this guy didn’t look like he could hurt a fly; not with his stormy eyes so wide and deep and frozen and his mouth cracked open in surprise. 

“Thank you….” The sentence was whispered, but Hide heard it anyway. 

Something in his tone pulled a soft expression from Hide, who responded, “No problem.” In an equally quiet tone. 

A silence settled over the two, though it wasn’t awkward by any means. It was comfortable, nice even. As he reflected on everything he’d been told, Hide sipped his coffee, eyeing the way the ghoul anxiously tapped his fingers on the tabletop. Eyepatch matched up with everything he’d been told about him from both Amon and Shinohara. He could see what Amon must have seen: the unusual kindness, the desire for peace. He could also see what Shinohara had seen: a vigilante, a powerful enforcer in the ghoul underground: Tokyo’s Batman. Hide smiled at the thought but fortunately Eyepatch wasn’t looking at him and didn’t notice it, so he had time to wipe the ridiculous grin off of his face lest he make an ass of himself again. 

He found himself enjoying Eyepatch’s quiet company, and for some reason, he really didn’t want to give the ghoul any reason to dislike him. Another unusual bout of nervous energy bubbled up in his gut at the thought but he pushed it down mercilessly. This was no time for uncharacteristic fits of insecurity! He’d only asked Eyepatch about Amon’s story. He still needed to ask about the countless other stories he'd heard - The ghoul restaurant massacre, his fight against Aogiri during the Kanou investigation a few years back. And Hide was like a cat – recklessly curious to the point that it was a serious threat to his life. Then again, Eyepatch was no killer. That had been established early on. 

Hell, he didn’t look a day over twenty, despite the bags under his eyes and his air of hard-earned wisdom. 

"Hey Eyepatch?"

"Hmm?"

"Three years ago, what were you doing at Kanou's mansion?"

That simple question made Eyepatch freeze all over again, his entire body becoming visibly tense. He opened his mouth and closed it again, bottom lip trembling. A strange expression crossed his face. It looked like he was in physical pain for a moment, until an icy expression took over in its place. The same cold look he had cast at Black Widow a few months ago returned, along with the dark aura that had emanated from him. Hide, in turn, froze as well, feeling pricks on the back of his neck as the little hairs there stood up. The pure hate in Eyepatch’s posture was palatable, frightening. Abruptly, Hide remembered that this was a dangerous ghoul, despite his gentle appearance. 

“I… have had several… disagreements… with Kanou and Aogiri Tree.” His words were chosen carefully this time. Hide could practically see all of his walls coming up again, all of their previous progress negated in a matter of seconds. Yet, somehow, Hide knew that he wasn’t being dishonest. It just seemed that this topic brought out different emotions from the ghoul, colder emotions. Angry emotions. Bitter emotions. It was a bit unsettling. “And... I was investigating. The same as you.”

“I… see.” Hide responded, choosing to tread carefully. 

“Why did you ask?” Eyepatch’s stormy eye was suddenly locked on his again and Hide stiffened at the intensity he saw there. 

"Another coworker of mine told me a story about how you kicked his ass after Aogiri fled the hideout. I guess I was just curious, since you've obviously been targeting other dangerous ghouls, what your opinion of Aogiri was."  
The ghoul nodded. “Yes I… I just….” His face contorted yet again into a look of confusion and disdain. However, his eyes wandered slightly over Hide’s shoulders, as if he were looking at something behind him. Hide turned to look himself, but upon finding nothing, returned his scrutinizing gaze to the ghoul, who still looked to be troubled by some invisible presence. 

“Hey… Eyepatch?” There was no response. “Eyepatch? Hey!” Hide snapped his finders in front of the ghoul’s face a couple of times. Finally, the boy blinked, focus returning to his one visible eye. 

“H-huh?” He sputtered. It would have been cute if Hide wasn’t so worried. 

“Are you okay? You just… spaced out for a second there.” 

“Y-yeah! Of course.” His hand briefly brushed against his chin. Hide’s eyes followed the movement with the focus of a hawk, mind screaming (lying tick, lying tick) the whole time. 

He chose not to question it. Instead, the blond sat back in his seat, offering the rather shaken looking man a soft, reassuring smile. “Okay… sorry if I crossed a boundary there.” 

“N-no! It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Like that made it sound more convincing. What the hell kind of ghoul was so horrible at lying? Hide shook his head, unable to keep the fond smile from tugging gently at the corners of his lips. “If you say so.” 

Eyepatch sighed then, looking down at his empty coffee mug and then back at Hide, a small shy smile playing at his lips. It was adorable. Though Hide chose not to comment on that, deeming such a statement to be (probably) inappropriate. “Well… I should be going.” The ghoul stated, almost sadly. “That is, unless you have any more questions for me?”

Yes: What’s your number?

No! Hide shook his head rather violently at the thought, sunny grin disappearing from his face in an instant as he sat in confusion over his own thoughts. He seriously needed to get a hold of himself, wow. Sure Eyepatch was cute, and kind of funny in a dry sort of way, and he had nice eyes, and a fascinating world-view, and was intelligent, and his voice was soft and soothing, and – and he was a fucking ghoul holy hell Hide knock it off!

Hide, being utterly distressed with his train of thought, did not notice Eyepatch frantically waving in his face. 

“Hideyoshi-san! Hide!”

“Oh!” Hide came to, blinking once as his eyes zeroed in on the ghoul’s worried expression. 

\- It was cute. 

\- Nope! It definitely was not. Hide definitely didn’t think that. Nope. 

Oh no. 

“I’m – I’m fine!” Hide assured the other, cheeks turning pink. 

Eyepatch chuckled when he realized Hide was alright. The blond shot him a sheepish grin in return, unable to recall the last time he felt this embarrassed. 

“Well… if that’s all then I really should leave. Besides, I’m sure you need to get back to work.”

“Right.” Hide responded, gathering his bearings again, though still not quite back to normal. He stuck out a hand for Eyepatch to take. “Thanks for indulging me. I hope you the best of luck, ya know, fighting bad guys.” 

Eyepatch had the decency to look a little sheepish as well. Although, when he shook Hide’s hand, there was a small smile playing at his lips again. “And luck to you too. Don’t get eaten.”

Hide laughed. “Don’t get caught by the wrong investigator.” 

The ghoul snorted. “As if they could take me down.” 

“Ooooh, cocky much, Mr. Ghoul?” 

“It’s only the truth, Hideyoshi-san.”

Hide grinned, shaking his head. 

With one last wave, Eyepatch departed the coffee shop, groceries in hand. 

Meanwhile, Hide sat in his seat, smile slowly fading as he tried to pinpoint the exact moment when, during their conversation, he had developed a crush.


	4. Tentative Alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide is such a little shit

“Excuse me, are you Dr. Kobayashi? I am Akira Mado and this is my partner, Nagachika Hideyoshi. We’re here with the CCG and would like to ask you some questions.”

The person in question was a young doctor of biology, a recent graduate of a research program in the 5th ward, where the ghoul known as ‘Professor’ had previously been located. He started his career as an entry level biology professor at South Harmon University five months ago, coincidentally only three weeks before Professor’s first suspected attack in the 15th ward. He was a prime suspect. Not that Hide and Akira hadn’t looked into other individuals at the university, they had. But Dr. Kobayashi was their number one candidate at the moment. 

He even looked unhinged – hair slicked back, nervous twitch in his right hand, and a full, round face that only made his beady eyes look beadier.

Hide tried not to be annoyed by the way the man’s eyes flickered between him and his partner like he was trying to determine if their introduction even deserved a response, keeping his expression as neutral as Akira’s. Admittedly, he hadn’t had a very good poker face until after he became Akira’s partner.

Finally, after a tense pause, the scientist decided to speak. “You’re with the CCG, huh?” He said, a note of disgust in his voice as he turned away from the investigators and started organizing a pile of papers on his desk. “What do you want?”

“I’m sure you’re aware of the string of disappearances that have started happening on campus, particularly in the science department. The suspected culprit is a ghoul. We’re here to see if you know anything about them.” 

“Why would I?” The professor spat, looking annoyed. “I just started working here last semester.”

“And the disappearances didn’t start until last semester.” Akira spat back just as icily, leveling the uncooperative man with a look that had made many a ghoul flee in terror.

Kobayashi froze. “You don’t honestly suspect me do you?”

“We won’t know until we talk.” Hide chimed in for the first time, his voice relaxed and soothing. He was known for having a considerably calmer approach to interrogation, which honestly, was in stark contrast to his approach to investigation (for Hide, field investigating usually involved several fake identities, lurking in dark alleys, hiding out in dumpsters, and sometimes breaking and entering if the time called for it). His unorthodox methods were usually overlooked though, due to his high mission success rate.

“So please, it’ll only take a minute of your time.”

 

…

After pacifying the angry teacher, Hide and Akira found themselves seated in the man’s office, where they quickly fell in sync, an almost good-cop bad-cop method to their questioning. Whenever Akira grew too harsh and caused Dr. Kobayashi to react aggressively, Hide would redirect the conversation while staying on task. They worked well together. 

Unfortunately, Kobayashi proved not only to be human, but also to be exceedingly unhelpful. 

“Sorry but I really don’t know my colleagues well enough. They’re all a bunch of morons. Honestly, they spend so much damn time – ”

Hide zoned out as the creepy gentleman started ranting about the injustices of offering extra credit and young people’s lack of discipline and respect for education blah blah blah….

“ – so yeah, why would I bother associating myself with people who want to poison my knowledge with their fanatical ideas about – ”

Hide didn’t care.  

But oh my _god_ he would not shut up.

A knock on the door saved the investigators form listening to more of the man’s obnoxious yelling.

“Excuse me, Dr. Kobayashi? I know you’re busy but Kyu and I have been waiting for the past twenty minutes and I have a class in half an hour so we don’t have much time left to talk….” A student said, peaking his head into the room. 

“Oh right.” Kobayashi said, looking annoyed to have to cut short his ramblings. “Let’s get this over with. Damn Student Instructor program…. Well what are you waiting for? Come in.”

“I think we’ll just be going then.” Hide said, exchanging a look with Akira as two students, one male and the other female, entered the room.

“Yeah whatever.” Was the last thing they heard before the office door was slammed in their faces.

 

...

 

Several days later, Hide found himself groaning while slamming his head onto his desk in frustration. They weren’t getting anywhere with this case. They had absolutely no leads, other than what he and Akira had already pieced together based on the ghoul’s dietary needs.

Lives in the 15th ward, just moved in from the 5th. Preys predominately on innocent young college age women, which suggests he’s older. His last group of victims were found dismembered in a lecture hall at a university in 5, but intel from that ward is positive he’s moved to 15. They believe him to be at South Harmon University. However, after interviewing several students and most of the staff, they’d come up empty handed. No new leads.

Hide really didn’t want to wait for another x people to fall victim before they finally caught him, but there were no more trails to follow, no more clues to examine. Even Akira was out of theories, which was rare.

“Maybe we should go help Seidou with his case for a while.”          

Speak of the devil, Akira slide into her desk chair, crossing her legs and fixing her partner with her stoic stare.

“ _Uuuugh_ I don’t know maybe we should. This case is killing me.” Hide responded, swiveling in his seat so that he turned to face her. “He’s a glutton that leaves a footprint the size of King Kong everywhere he goes. How the hell has he managed to evade us for so long?” 

Akira simply shrugged, expression blank as always. “There’s nothing we can do now. Unfortunately, we will have to wait for more intel to come in before we can really do anything.”

Hide nodded, feeling dejected. However, he only allowed his feelings of inadequacy to take over for a few seconds before he plastered a grin all over his face and sprung up from his chair like he had been ejected for the passenger’s seat by an annoyed driver in a loony tunes cartoon. To her credit, Akira didn’t bat an eye at his sudden erratic movement. 

“Okay! Let’s go bother Seidou!”

The petit blonde sighed, but Hide knew she secretly enjoyed messing with her unofficial rival. Seidou was fun to mess with. “We aren’t going to bother him. We’re going to _help_ him.”  Akira corrected, though there was a tiny little smirk on her face.

“We both know that’s not true.” Hide retorted, blinding her with his grin before spinning on his heal and speed walking in the direction of Seidou’s desk.

Seidou groaned before Hide had even reached his desk. “What do you want Hideyoshi? Akira?”

“How’s your case going?” Hide asked, leaning over Seidou’s shoulder to peer at his computer screen. “Investigating the Lion?”

“Yes, that didn’t answer my question though. Don’t you two have your own case to work on?”

“Trail ran cold.” Akira said with a shrug.

“Which means we’re are free to offer our assistance on your case. Aren’t you blessed!” Hide added.

“Oh goodie.” Seidou said with an eye roll. “I’m getting help from the two investigators who can’t even solve their own damn case. Great.”

“Well you haven’t’ solved yours yet either so shut up and let us help you.” Akira said, sliding into the empty chair beside Seidou.

“ _Help_.” Seidou scoffed. “That’s what you’re doing.”

“Yep yep!” Hide chirped. “So what are your leads on the lion man? Let’s catch this sucker!”

Seidou responded with a groan. “How about _I_ catch this guy and you guys go work on your _own_ case.”

“No leads, Seidou. We told you that already. So here we are.” Akira snapped. “Pull up his information I want to see what you’ve got.”

Grumbling, Seidou pulled up a few reports. “There, are you happy? Can I get back to theorizing now?”

“Good boy.” Akira rewarded. Hide snickered.

Seidou glared, then sunk back in a chair with an expression of annoyance. “If only there was someone helping you two with _your_ case. Then maybe I’d be able to work on mine! I call sabotage.”

Akira scowled. “No CCG employee knows more about The Professor than Hide and I. Any help would be useless to us. You, on the other hand, look like you could use it.”

From then on out, Akira and Seidou continued to bicker, but Hide heard none of it. His mind was stuck on something else, gears turning, the beginnings of an idea starting to take shape.

_If only there was someone helping you two with your case._

_No CCG employee knows more about the Professor than Hide and I._

No CCG employee.

No Ghoul Investigator could help them. 

But… what about someone who was on the inside? Another ghoul was sure to know more about the Professor and where to find leads than any human ever would.

Of course, what ghoul in their right mind would want to help an investigator track down one of their own? What ghoul would willingly put their trust in an investigator in order to side down AND hear them out AND agree to help them. Such a ghoul would surely be insane.

“Hideyoshi!”

“Huh? What?” Hide started, noticing for the first time that both Akira and Takizawa were staring at him.

“What the hell are you smiling about?”

Hide paused, expression of diabolical glee stuck on his face. Suddenly, he moved, turning to face his two fellow investigators with the same look of manic excitement twinkling dangerously in his eyes. “Sorry guys, I’ve got to go!”

The next second, Hide was running out of the office, two very confused friends shouting after him.

 

...

 

He had bought an absurd amount of butter and sugar. Why the hell would a ghoul need that much sugar – it’s not like he was going to be able to eat it. And he was in the 15th ward.

Ghoul + baking stuff + 15th ward =… works at a bakery? Bakery that doubles as a coffee shop? 

Hide spent the next hour coming up with a list of all the bakeries and coffee shops near the area he’d spotted Eyepatch in the 15th ward. There were a surprising amount of coffee shops in the ward, but only a few also sold cakes and pastries. While Hide would normally dismiss the idea of a ghoul being able to bake, Eyepatch certainly wasn’t a “normal ghoul”, and really, what a great cover that would be.

After he had narrowed down the list significantly, Hide spent the rest of the afternoon hopping from bakery to bakery, coffee shop to coffee shop in hopes of catching sight of a familiar white head of hair.

Several cappuccinos and way-too-many-to-be-healthy pastries later, Hide was starting to give up hope. However, he only had a few more stores to check out before he could officially say that he’d wasted his efforts.

It was almost 8pm, and Hide was feeling the after effects of his caffeine buzz. He was also starting to give up the hope that he’d ever run into Eyepatch again, but he figured he should at least see his plan through to the end. Which is how, with the sun starting to set low in the sky, Hide found himself standing outside a small, quaint little coffee shop named :re.

A bell chimed as he walked in, startling the young dirty blond haired woman snacking on a pastry behind the counter.

“S-sorry sir we’re closed! Must have forgotten to lock up again h-haha!” Her sentence was punctuated with a nervous chuckle as she attempted and failed to hide the pastry she’d been eating behind her back.

Her hair was pulled back in a bandana, and she was dressed in a worker’s uniform fit with a flour covered apron. A light blue South Harmon University sweatshirt was hanging over the counter. She was pretty, even flustered and sweating nervously while covered in sugar. But she wasn’t who Hide was looking for.

Hide offered her a friendly smile. “Ah don’t worry about it. It’s getting kind of late to be making these visits anyways. However, if you have a moment, I’d like to talk to your manager about the Ward Awards for Best Bakery of the Year.”

“The… what?” The young woman leveled Hide with a look of absolute disbelief, walking up behind the glass counter and setting her half-eaten pastry down as if in a trance. “You mean _the_ Ward Awards?” 

“Ah, sorry I should have introduced myself first. I’m Daichi Akimoto with The 15th Ward Post. We’re getting an early start scouting for our local business award section of the paper this year and I’ve been tasked with looking for a bakery! Which is great job in theory, but probably not too good on the health if you know what I’m saying.” Hide said, leaning in with a hand cupped against his mouth as if telling some great secret. Immediately afterwards he pulled back and laughed obnoxiously at his own joke. That’s what business people did right? The girl chuckled nervously, nodding but still looking suspicious.

“Anyway, is your manager in?” Hide said, cutting to the chase.

“Ah… no I’m afraid she’s out right now. But I’m the head baker if you want to talk to me?”

“That’s okay I’ll come back another time when you’re open.”

“Alright. We’re open 7am-7pm on weekdays and – ” 

Whatever the young woman was about to say next was cut off as the door to the kitchen abruptly swung open. “Hey, sorry Yoriko I have to head out. Yomo wants… me to….”

HELL YES MOTHERFUCKER.

Hide could not contain his grin of diabolical glee as he watched several different emotions flicker across Eyepatch’s face. Surprise. Disbelief. Confusion. Fear. Anger. 

Slowly, cautiously, and with the most forced smile Hide had ever seen, the ghoul addressed his obviously human coworker. “Yoriko… who is this?”

Yoriko looked startled by the sudden tension in the air. Her response was hesitant. “This is Daichi Akimoto with The 15th Ward Post….”

“Is it?” 

“Ummm….”

“Well Mr. _Akimoto_ - _san_ , there’s room upstairs if you want to talk.” Eyepatch said though his teeth. Shit, he was _pissed_. Understandably, Hide supposed. He was probably jeopardizing Eyepatch’s identity by intruding on his place of work.                

“Sounds good! Nice to meet you Yorik – _oh_!” Hide clipped his sentence as he was abruptly grabbed by the arm and dragged back into the kitchen by a very PO’d ghoul.

The door to the kitchen slammed behind them. Yoriko stood still as a statue in the sudden silence of the empty bakery shop, very confused. Then, with a shrug, she resumed eating her illegal pastry in peace. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” Eyepatch hissed, dragging Hide past the kitchen and up a staircase by the arm. Hide would have tried to pull his arm free but the ghoul’s grip was tight and he was looking around as if paranoid Hide had told the CCG his location.

 _Oh_.

He thought Hide told the CCG his location.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Hide pulled his arm free. “Whoa calm down, it’s just me.”

Eyepatch spun around to face him, speaking rapidly. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” His eyes skitted around in a panic and Hide noticed his bottom lip trembling minutely. Shoot, Hide did _not_ want to make a ghoul cry today. That had not been his intention _at all_.

Though, for a moment, Hide was too flabbergasted to respond. He wondered why Eyepatch reacted so strongly, gears turning in his head as he tried and failed to reach a conclusion.

“Hey, sorry calm down.” Hide said, lowering his voice to what was (hopefully) a more soothing tone. He placed comforting hands on Eyepatch’s shoulders and to his horror, the ghoul jumped at the contact like he’d been shocked. Hide immediately pulled his hands back, instead holding them up in an ‘I surrender’ gesture. “Its just me I didn’t tell anyone, I actually didn’t know for sure you’d be here until I walked in and saw you.”

Eyepatch narrowed his eyes, a cold mask effortlessly sliding over his features and replacing the momentary expression of panic, though Hide could tell he wasn’t any less freaked out. He was practically radiating aggression.

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you.” He responded lowly. 

The investigator tensed.

“Well for one, I am _excellent_ at tap dancing. You wouldn’t want to deprive the world of these moves would you?” Hide retorted, doing a little jig with his feet. He definitely looked like an idiot. He knew nothing about tap dancing but he tended to panic-lie and he was HELLA hoped up on caffeine and adrenaline right now and he JUST watched Happy Feet the other night and for some reason he thought TAP DANCING could keep a ghoul from killing him…???

Eyepatch furrowed his brows like he just. Did not. Understand.

“… I think I’d be doing the world a pretty big favor if no one had to see that ever again.”

The lighter tone in Eyepatch’s voice gave Hide hope.

“I know shit about tap dancing.” Hide said with a grin.

“I couldn’t tell.”

Hide chuckled at the dry response, hoping to ease some of the tension in the air. Eyepatch was still on edge, but some of the aggression had faded.

Now was his chance.  
  
“I’m sorry I freaked you out, but I promise you, its just me here. I’m not going to report you and I didn’t mean to scare you. I know this is completely out of the blue, and I’m probably one of the last people you want to see right now, but I have a question for you.”

Eyepatch eyed him warily, then sighed, giving up. “Well you’re already here, aren’t you? Follow me… there’s a sitting room down the hall. We can talk there.”

Hide smiled softly and followed the ghoul down the hall, hoping he wasn’t about to get murdered. He didn’t think he would get murdered. He was fairly certain all of Eyepatch’s threats were empty, but Hide knew the ghoul would kill when pushed too far. The memory of him fighting off Black Widow surfaced, and Hide knew, he really knew that he was taking a big risk by showing up here, but something about Eyepatch struck him as different from all of the other ghouls Hide had dealt with on the job. And besides, if Eyepatch wanted him dead, Hide would already be dead.

Hide politely sat down in the chair that was offered to him as Eyepatch worriedly walked around tidying up the already picturesque room. Hide let him be, noticing the shaking of his hands as he fluffed a throw pillow and feeling guilty for being the cause of so much anxiety. 

Finally, Eyepatch seemed to have calmed himself down enough to meet Hide’s eyes again. Wordlessly, he walked over to the small table and took a seat. 

“So….” He started. Hide didn’t miss the light tremble in his voice. “What’s your question?” 

Hide tried to arrange his expression to look the least intimidating as possible, which wasn’t something he ever thought he’d have to do when face to face with an SS rank ghoul. Yet the more he spoke with Eyepatch, the more he observed the other outside of battle, the more he realized the cold, powerful presence he was known for at the CCG was nothing but a façade. The ghoul was surprisingly fragile, his emotions swinging from one extreme to another with barely any preamble, which was somewhat disconcerting. A lot of investigators struggled with mental health, especially those who had participated in large-scale raids, which were often traumatizing for the survivors. All academy students were required to sit through a seminar on mental health for that very reason, and Eyepatch’s swinging emotions and unfocused eyes had him wondering if the raids could be just as traumatizing for ghouls as they were for humans.

“Well…” Hide began, somewhat sheepishly. “It’s like this. My partner and I have been investigating this ghoul for a month. He’s a pretty bad one, borderline binge eater I’d say. It’s also possible he sexually assaults his victims before feeding but it’s hard to gather enough evidence to prove that when there’s not much of a body left. My partner and I have been stuck on this case for a while, and we haven’t been able to get any new leads. I’m afraid things are going to keep getting worse if we let this ghoul rampage unchecked, but there’s nothing we can do if we can’t track him down. Then… I remembered meeting you, and thought it’d be worth a shot to ask for your help.” Hide paused. Eyepatch had been quiet during his entire speech, expression unreadable.

“… you want me to help you with one of your cases…?” He asked, slowly, as if uncertain he was understanding correctly. 

“Pretty much. I was just wondering if you knew anything about him that could help us track him down. I figured, since you’re hunting troublesome ghouls on your own anyway, that you might be willing to help.”

“I’m….” Eyepatch frowned, slumping in his seat. “… not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I figured you might say that.” Hide said. And it was true, he was expecting a negative reaction. His request was absolutely ludicrous. However, truth be told, he had been anticipating a much angrier response. Maybe with some yelling? He’d been prepared for yelling. He wasn’t prepared for conflicted and guilty, though he supposed that would be easier to work with. 

“But hear me out. You hunt down the bad ghouls, the ones horrible enough to attract massive amounts of CCG attention and kill dozens of humans a year. The 15th ward has been relatively peaceful this past year and I’m willing to bet that’s because you’ve been chasing out all the problem ghouls in the ward. Imagine how much more we could get accomplished if we worked together? And like I said before, I’m not going to report you.”

“Why?” Eyepatch asked, mouth twisting down. His entire posture seemed to fold in on itself.

The question caught Hide off-guard, but he supposed he should have expected it. After a moment’s pause in which his mouth was hanging slightly open and Hide was quite certain he looked ridiculous, he managed to gather a response. “Because you’re good. You haven’t been murdering humans, and really, that’s the main crime that ghouls commit. As long as you’re eating people who complete suicide, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Besides, why would I want to report someone who’s working towards the same goal I am? That would be pretty counter-productive don’t you think?”

“Yeah but….” Eyepatch’s frown deepened. “That would be incredibly reckless, not only for you but for me as well. I don’t think the ghouls in this ward would take kindly to a leader that’s helping the CCG, our _sworn enemies_ , mind you. I just… don’t see an alliance ending well. Besides, I don’t even know what ghoul you’re talking about.”

“I’m not asking you to join arms with the entirety of the CCG. I’m not disillusioned enough to believe everything the CCG does is right. But I think we can both agree, that excessive murder for no cause, that these crimes against humanity, these crimes that are doing nothing but feeding into the stereotype against ghouls, need to end. Like you said the other day, no one has a right to take the life of an innocent who still has a desire to live. I’m not stupid – the world isn’t black and white like so many of my colleagues seem to believe. There’s a lot of gray area. The CCG falls into that gray area and so do you. I’m not asking you to give me the name and address of every ghoul in the ward. I’m asking you for information on _one_ particularly bad ghoul. Information that could save hundreds of lives. That is, if you’re willing to indulge me.” 

Eyepatch was silent for a long moment, his silver eyed stare unwavering. It was starting to make Hide feel uncomfortable, but he held his ground. After what seemed like ages, Eyepatch sighed and looked away. “I just… don’t know if that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Hide opened his mouth to respond but suddenly the door was opening and a small voice called out “Onii-chan I’m back – is there someone here?” and Hide’s side slammed painfully against the ground before he even knew what was happening.

“No! – well, y-yes but everything’s fine! Go to your room I’ll be back in a minute!” Hide heard Eyepatch respond in a rush. The sound of footsteps registered as Hide attempted to disentangle himself from the rest of the fallen (ie. the table and chair he’d been sitting on). He pulled himself off the ground just in time to see Eyepatch ushering a young girl out of the room while carefully obstructing her face from his view.

Hide’s eyebrows receded behind his hairline. Did Eyepatch _live_ here? 

The epiphany left Hide speechless. Of _course_ Eyepatch had been freaking out when he saw Hide in his coffee shop. Hide hadn’t just been risking the exposure of his identity by coming here, he’d been threatening his _home_.

“Ah – sorry about that.” Eyepatch said, closing the door once more and turning around. His sheepish expression shifted into one of concern when he saw the look on Hide’s face. “Oh, sorry. Are you okay? I-I didn’t mean to startle you it’s just…. You’re not hurt are you?”

“Wha – oh I’m fine!” Hide responded abruptly, pulling himself off the ground and starting to rectify his fallen brethren. “Just a little surprised is all.”

Eyepatch smiled in relief and walked over to help Hide pick up the rest of the chairs, working silently and glancing up at Hide every once in a while.

Hide knew he was frowning, but he couldn’t help it. _Eyepatch lived here_.

Hide remembered reading a report several months ago, after the Black Widow investigation. A report detailing the entirety of the Owl Extermination Operation. A report explaining the deaths of four highly wanted ghouls (one of which had been false of course). A report stating that the Owl had been hiding out in a coffee shop.  

A coffee shop that burned to the ground.

Oh man, Hide felt really shitty about all of this now. _No freaking wonder_ Eyepatch had been so panicked when he saw Hide. And all the ghouls that had died in the raid had probably been friends as well. Eyepatch should be _livid_ right now. He had every right to be.

But instead he was sitting back down in his seat, eyes wide and nervous as he examined Hide’s expression, like he was somehow the one in the wrong. 

“A-again I’m sorry. Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Eyepatch broke the silence and Hide looked up and _fuck_ he felt like his ribcage had been smashed in repeatedly with a sledgehammer.

Although he still hadn’t fully recovered from the revelation, Hide did his best to smile because the self-conscious, unnecessarily repentant look Eyepatch was giving him was physically painful. “Yeah I’m fine don’t worry about me.” Hide responded, trying to brush it off.

Ah, they fucked up. The CCG totally completely 100% undeniably _screwed up_. Those old reports even said that Anteiku hadn’t been an Aogiri hideout. That raid had also been the night they discovered there were two Owls. One belonging to Aogiri and the other….

The other was a friend of Eyepatch’s, and if that said anything at all, it was that the CCG had done something horrible that night. They’d uprooted an organization of suicide-victim eating ghouls and forced the survivors to relocate in ward 15.

Eyepatch should have killed Hide the moment he set foot in his café.

“Look I…” Eyepatch cut into the silence, seeing as Hide was still too rattled to continue with his argument. “I’d like to help you – I really would but… it's just not... I mean I can't.... Yes, I hunt down my own species from time to time, but I always give them a chance to change before I resort to killing. And what if… what if your ghoul isn’t even that bad?”

At that, Hide smiled remorsefully. “He’s murdered over 100 women this year alone, Eyepatch.”

The ghoul froze, shaken by the knowledge.

Hide continued. “We call him Professor, because intel from 5 believes him to work at a university where he lures students into a trap before he mercilessly slaughters them. He probably operates under several different identities, since we haven’t been able to pin him down. He is currently at South Harmon University. The human waitress downstairs goes there, doesn’t she?”

Hide winced internally at his choice in words, hoping the guilt trip didn’t push the other too far. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t stand the idea of hurting Eyepatch in any way and he hoped his incessant moral pestering hadn’t upset him. Judging by the petrified look on the ghoul’s face, Hide’s hopes were in vain.

There was a thud as Eyepatch abruptly dropped his head down on the table.

“Alright, I give.” His voice was muffled by the wood of the desk. “I’ll help however I can, but as of right now, I don’t know anything about Professor.”

Hide was stunned he’d succeeded so quickly, but pleased nonetheless. A brilliant grin slowly crept its way onto his face as Eyepatch lifted his head just enough to meet Hide’s ecstatic eyes with his large nervous gray ones. The immediate look of regret that crossed Eyepatch’s expression only caused Hide’s smile to widen.

He had a feeling things were about to get interesting.


	5. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Kaneki. He's so sweet and young and awkward and small.

“Hide… what are you wearing?” 

Hide’s responding grin was as impossibly wide and impish as ever. “My disguise.”

“You look ridiculous.” Kaneki said with a frown, his eyes sweeping his companion’s form. He was starting to suspect that the investigator had no instincts of self-preservation whatsoever. “Is that a fake lip-ring?”

“Yes.” With an unrepentant and defiant gleam in his eyes, Hide slipped on a pair of black sunglasses to complete his look. 

“… What are you even going for? Edgy Hobo?”

“Isn’t that basically what most ghouls are?”

“Wow, I’m kind of offended.”

“No you’re not.”

“Where did you even get that wig? It looks like you dug it out of a trashcan. Kind of smells like it too.” 

Hide was silent, shit-eating grin still plastered to his face.

“… You really did get it from a trashcan didn’t you?”

“A dumpster actually.”

“I cannot believe you.”

“What? It masks the scent of human, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah but… at what cost?” Kaneki said, leaning in to sniff at the air around Hide and immediately pulling back, scrunching his nose in disgust. Hide just giggled evilly. He was insane, Kaneki was certain.

Oh lord, and he agreed to help this lunatic? What was he thinking? Kaneki had a minor existential crisis.

“Alright I’ve got my cover story ready and everything. My name is Marco Greene and I just moved into Tokyo from England. I collect small porcelain dogs but I had to sell them when I moved and have been living on the streets for several weeks. I moved because my wife Petunia got a new job but then she died in a terrible plane crash leaving me bankrupt because instead of going to college I spent all my money opening a haberdashery in south London, but it failed because I stubbornly refused to sell anything that wasn’t electric magenta, leaving me bankrupt. I’m currently going through a midlife crisis, which is why I have so many fake piercings. When people ask me why I don’t just get real piercings I’ll be all “because I’m broke you insensitive jackass!” even though these cost money anyway so my argument is invalid. It’s just a really hard time for Marco. He had to learn Japanese and everything. Which lead to his choice in this really unfortunate mullet that he tries to cover with this Hello Kitty hat I found in a park. Sometimes Marco wishes the world was like Pokémon, because then he could be the absent father of some ten-year old dreamer and he would know that even though he’s alone now, there’s some little kid out there that thinks of him often, wondering, why? Why father, why did you leave me? Because I wanted to be the very best, son. I wanted to catch them all.”

For a moment, Kaneki didn’t know how to respond.

“Hide. No. Your English accent it terrible.”

The blond burst into laughter. “That’s the part you’re worried about?”

Kaneki hung his head to hide the idiotic smile that was secretly creeping onto his face. Fortunately, he managed to contain the bubble of laughter building in his chest.

Ever since their first meeting, Hide has done nothing but catch him off guard. Something about him made Kaneki want to drop all of his defenses. Whether it was his unpredictable stream of stupid jokes or his easygoing, sunny disposition, Kaneki didn’t know. Regardless, being around the investigator made Kaneki feel like a stupid kid, wild and untouchable. He always found himself unknowingly dropping his guard for the other, which only put Kaneki more on edge.

Hide was dangerous.

Yet Kaneki couldn’t seem to find it in himself to fight off the unexpected wave of positivity and acceptance Hide always seemed to sweep him up in. 

Which is how he ended up here, outside Helter Skelter with an obnoxious human he had to somehow pass off as a ghoul.

“Alright, remember what we talked about?”

“Don’t take any information I learn unrelated to the Professor case back to the CCG. Got it.”

“Or – ”

“Or you’ll hunt me down yada yada, dude I gotcha. I’m trusting you not to eat me, you’re trusting me not to screw up your reputation. Its mutual trust. We talked about this.”

“Yeah but – ”

“Eyepatch.” Hide said, suddenly growing serious. It always kind of freaked Kaneki out how he could turn a switch and go from dorky reckless goofball to serious investigator in a matter of seconds. Kaneki met Hide’s unwavering gaze, sure he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “Relax. We talked about this. I don’t want to do anything that will get you in trouble.”

Kaneki slumped, “I know. But if you get caught – ”

“I’ve been doing this for years, Eyepatch. I won’t get caught.” Hide asserted. “Besides, this won’t be the first time I’ve worn this disguise.”

The ghoul raised an eyebrow at that, but decided he really didn’t want to know. “There may be some high ranking ghouls in there, Hide. If you do get caught, the resulting uproar wouldn’t only be dangerous to you, but my entire family will likely be run out of the ward, that is if they even let me live. So – let me finish, Hide – _if you do get caught_ , I’m going to pretend I had no idea you were human. I’m not going to save you. I hope you’re aware of that.”

Hide nodded, like he’d expected no less. “I understand. Now come on! No more stalling let’s get this show on the road!”

With that inappropriately chipper response to a threat, the investigator grabbed Kaneki’s arm and started dragging him in the direction of the bar. Kaneki’s heartbeat sped up as they approached the door, and he did his best to remind himself that he had no reason to be worried. It would be just like any other time he’d gone to Helter Skelter. No need to panic.

Fortunately, Hide stopped right in front of the door, allowing Kaneki to take a deep breath before he pushed the door open. Hide entered right behind him, walking confidently as he took a look around the loud, bustling room. Kaneki gestured for the other to follow, and together they made their way to the bar, sitting down in two of the open stools.

They had about three seconds of peace before they were attacked.

“ _KANEKICHIIIIIIIIIIII_!!!”

“Wah!” Kaneki tried to lean away but he wasn’t fast enough and before he knew it, he’d been pulled into a headlock, his entire face turning bright red as it was pressed unwillingly into his assailant’s cleavage.

“I-Itori let me go!”

Mortified, Kaneki felt the rumble of her laughter. “Aw! You’re so sweet and young and awkward and small!”

“P-please I can’t – ” Kaneki tried to twist away from her embrace, but only ended up getting pulled slightly out of his chair. “Itori!”

“What are you doing here? It’s been ages since you’ve visited us in the 14th ward! Are you finally old enough to drink?!” The red-head exclaimed, rocking back and forth like she was cradling a baby. 

“Is that Kaneki-kun?” A soft, almost emotionless voice said from somewhere to his right. Kaneki found it hard to tell for sure who it was with a face full of boob, but he thought it was probably Uta.

“L-let me go. I c-c-can’t b-breath! Itori!” Kaneki stuttered.

With a final, evil laugh, Itori released her death grip on Kaneki’s head, and the boy fell back into his seat, body numb with embarrassment and face the color of a tomato. Hide, the bastard, damn near fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.

“It _is_ Kaneki-kun.” Uta said, as gleefully as possible for the tattoo artist, sliding into the empty stool to Kaneki’s right. “What are you doing here? Looking for information? It’s been quite some time since you’ve played detective.”

“Ah, a-actually….” Kaneki said, his mind still a little scrambled from that embarrassing welcome, and struggling to regain his cold composure. He scratched the side of his cheek nervously. “I’m.. uh – ”

“Save it. You’re terrible at lying and you know it.” Itori cut in, looking amused by the flustered expression on Kaneki’s face. Then, her sharp eyes slid to the seat next to him. “So who’s your friend?”

Kaneki was saved from responding by Hide’s fast interjection. “Hi! I’m Masaki. I just moved into the 15th ward.” 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Itori. I run this bar, and as I’m sure Kaneki here told you, I’m also a bit of an information broker. That’s why you’re here, right?”

Hide didn’t miss a step. “Well sure. I’ll be starting college soon and want to know what I’ll be getting myself into. Things have gotten messy these past few years. Gotta watch my back.” Hide lied smoothly, shrugging. “I met Kaneki a few days ago and he offered to take me here after my persistent nagging wore him down.”

Kaneki scowled at him. That was barely a lie. That _had_ to be cheating.

Uta chuckled, kakugan blazing as he stared down the investigator. Kaneki wondered if Hide was at all intimidated, or if he was incapable of feeling fear at all. He certainly didn’t show any fear at least. Maybe he’d been dropped on his head as a child.

That would explain a lot, actually.

“Well you came to the right place, and with the right person.” Uta said with his ever-lilting tone that sometimes kind of creeped Kaneki out. “Kaneki-kun is an old friend.”

“I guess I got lucky then.” Hide said.

“Well I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions. But first,” Itori said, smiling slyly and disappearing behind the bar. When she returned with four glasses of wine, Kaneki’s heart stopped. “Drink up! It’s on the house. Consider it in celebration of Mr. Eyepatch finally deciding to grace us with his presence after a year of boring inactivity!” 

“Um!” Kaneki exclaimed in protest as one of the glasses was placed in front of him. “I don’t really drink and neither does Masaki-san.” 

“Nonsense! You’re legal now – you should lighten up once in a while! Besides I’m offering you free drinks all night! Who wouldn’t take advantage of that?”

“Yeah come on, _Kanekichi_.” Hide said in a teasing tone as he leaned into Kaneki’s personal space and picked up his own glass. “Your friend is helping us out after all. It’d be rude not to accept her offer.” 

 Itori smiled wide, “I like this kid.”

“Thank you.” Hide flashed her a bright smile. Kaneki frowned.

“Hah! Look at that he’s in the right spirits. I feel like tonight could be fun. Oh, hold on a second.” Itori said as she was waved over by another customer. The next moment, she disappeared further down the bar as Uta took a sip from his glass. 

Kaneki gave Hide a panicked look while their companions were distracted.

Predictably, Hide just smiled like he thought Kaneki’s mild terror was cute, which kind of annoyed Kaneki, so he waited until Hide had taken a mouthful of the wine before leaning over and hissing, “Hide, that’s fermented blood.”

The investigator did a spit-take, spraying the chilled bodily fluid all over the front of the bar in horror.

Several of the bar’s patrons looked over in annoyance, forcing Hide to smile back at them sheepishly with his bloody mouth. “Ah… sorry it’s been a while since I’ve been drinking and this was stronger than I remember. Haha….” He began wiping up the blood wine with the sleeve of his disgusting garbage jacket.

Kaneki happily sipped his own glass, pleased he wasn’t the only one making a fool of himself tonight. Beside him, Uta looked mildly amused.

“Strong? Don’t let Itori hear you or she’ll start pulling out the hard stuff.” Uta said smiling in that light, somewhat off-putting way he had about him.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Uta turned back to speak with the ghoul to his right, giving Kaneki a brief window of opportunity to talk with Hide in private. Quickly, he downed his glass, trying to ignore the way his taste buds sang at the flavor of human blood in his mouth. Hide watched wordlessly as Kaneki shoved his now empty glass into Hide’s hands, while taking his still mostly-full one.

The investigator seemed to get the message, offering Kaneki a grateful smile.

“Whew! I’m back! Sorry guys, you chose a busy night to come in.” Itori said, skipping back over to them. She took one look at both of their glasses (Hide’s now empty, and Kaneki’s, practically full) and frowned. “Come on Kaneki, I thought you were going to drink!”

“I never said that.”

“Come _oooon_. Chug, chug, chug!”

“What? This is wine!”

“ _Chug, chug, chug_!”

“You’ve never cared if I drank before!”

“You’ve never been legal before! You had an excuse then!”

“You’re a terrible influence.” Begrudgingly, Kaneki lifted the glass to his lips and took a large gulp, body buzzing pleasantly at the combination of alcohol and nutritious blood entering his system. He hated this. 

“Aw, your eyes are the same.” Itori pouted.

Kaneki stilled, body going cold and rigid. Hide didn’t know he was one-eyed. He didn’t need to know either. That would just lead to more questions – and Kaneki didn’t want to have to try to dodge that conversation. Hide was incredibly intuitive. Kaneki didn’t think he’d be able to avoid talking about it if Hide ever got suspicious. And he really didn’t want to go blabbering about Kanou to a CCG agent.

“They don’t do that anymore.” Kaneki said, tone clipped to let Itori know that the subject was closed. Beside him, Hide looked curious, on the verge of asking a question, but one cold look from Kaneki was enough to silence him.

“Can I – ”

“So, you’re an information broker?” Hide quickly changed the subject, almost like he was coming to Kaneki’s defense. But that was a ridiculous thought that Kaneki immediately dismissed. Hide was just here for his case and probably wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

“Yeah, I am. Drunk people talk. You learn things.” Itori responded, flipping her hair over one shoulder and leaning over the bar. “You said you’re going to college in 15?” 

“That’s right!” Hide chirped.

“What school?”

“South Harmon University.”

Itori raised an eyebrow at that. “That’s surprising. I figured you were a Kamii nerd like Kaneki.” The redhead smiled devilishly, reaching over to pinch one of Kaneki’s cheeks. Kaneki recoiled from her touch, rubbing his cheek in irritation. Itori laughed.

“You went to Kamii?” Hide looked genuinely interested, which only made Kaneki feel more defensive.

“I _dropped out_ of Kamii.” He said humorlessly.

“Still. That’s a hard school to get in to.”

“Mm.”

“So, uh, what do you know about South Harmon? It may not be Kamii level but it’s pretty good too, right?” Hide said, turning back to focus on Itori.

“Well, I don’t know anything about academics.” Itori said, examining her nails and looking mildly bored. “But you definitely chose a poor time to enroll in SHU. Word on the street is that the gang over there doesn’t take kindly to other ghouls stepping in on their territory.”

“Seriously? Do you think I should try to transfer?” Hide asked, as if genuinely concerned for his own safety and not trying to probe the bartender for case breaking information. Kaneki had to admit, the guy was good with words.

“Depends on whether or not you think you could handle them. You could lie low and get out unscathed but they may come after you if you impede on their hunting grounds. Then again, you could always get _in_ with them and then that wouldn’t be a problem.” Itori suggested. “That is, if you’re willing to get your hands dirty.”

“Hmm….” Hide nodded, as if deep in thought. Once more, Kaneki had to applaud the guy’s acting. Then again, he _was_ a first-class investigator. “What do you mean by ‘ _get my hands dirty’_?”

Itori smiled knowingly, looking pleased by this turn in conversation. She glanced towards Uta, who was looking rather interested as well. 

Without a word, Itori pulled the same bottle of wine out from under the bar and refilled both Hide and Kaneki’s glasses. Uta took this as his cue to start speaking.

“A young man came in here the other night, blabbering on and on about what it was like to be a part of the inner circle of the gang heading up all nefarious activity at South Harmon. They call their leader ‘Professor’ which is actually quite misleading. The young man assured us that his leader was a student. Not only that… but he seems to have some _interesting_ tastes.”

“How so?”

Itori cut in, looking excited. “I heard he drains his victims of blood and then gives the withered bodies to his minions to eat. Apparently he only drinks the blood. It’s why he has to kill so much. He’s like a vampire.”

Hide scrunched his nose as if turned off by the idea of eating dry, wrinkly meat. “Weird. I dunno if I want to work for someone like that. Eat like that.” 

Itori kept on smiling. “Then have fun avoiding him while you go to school. Maybe you could work out a deal with them and they’ll leave you alone. But I doubt it.” 

She then nudged Kaneki’s glass, undoubtedly noticing his bored expression. Glaring, Kaneki resumed drinking. Itori looked pleased.

“What do you suggest I do then?” Hide asked.

“Do whatever you want, kid. Maybe stick to only hunting men? The guy that came in here the other day went on and on about his master’s obsession with ‘ _the blood of virgins’_. He was quite insane. It was very entertaining.” Itori said with a shrug. Another patron waved her over. “Hang on guys, I’ll come back. And those glasses better be empty when I do.” 

“So what do you think Masaki-kun?” Uta asked, leaning over, kakugan twinkling with glee. “Still eager to get to school?”

“Uhh we’ll see.” Hide said, laughing nervously.

Uta smiled and engaged Hide in a conversation about masks, wondering if Hide had one and if not, could he make him one. Meanwhile, Kaneki poured the remainder of Hide’s glass into his own under the bar, glad the other man was distracted while he drank for the investigator. Halfway through the glass, Kaneki was getting worried. He was starting to feel a bit tipsy.

When Itori came back, she looked pleased to find their glasses empty again. When she attempted to refill them, Kaneki interjected.

“What about _you_? Masaki, Uta and I are the only ones drinking.”

“I’m working. I have to be sober.” The bartender said smugly. 

Kaneki crossed his arms and muttered ‘bullshit’ to himself as his three companions lost themselves in conversation again. Though, truth be told, he was starting to find it hard to follow the conversation. His entire body was buzzing pleasantly and his face felt numb. Sourly, he admitted to himself that he _may_ be slightly more than tipsy at this point. And that _probably_ wasn’t a good thing.

After his sixth glass of wine, Kaneki knew for sure he was gone. He wasn’t certain what the alcohol content of Itori's wine was, but he was sure it was more than your average glass of merlot. 

He didn’t feel _bad_ per se, but he was overly conscious of the fact that he was drunk and that only made him more nervous. What if he missed something? What if he slipped up and said something stupid? What if he…?

He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until Uta was nudging him with his elbow.

“Huh?” Kaneki lifted his head off the sticky bar.

“I said ' _are you a lightweight_ '?” Uta teased. 

Kaneki frowned, looking around with blurry eyes. Then, he remembered where he was and what he was doing, snapping up instantly and looking around in a panic.

"Uhhh, Uta. Where is H-my friend?"

Uta pointed to a table in the center of the bar, where Hide was conversing with two grimy looking ghouls.

"Some guys from South Harmon came in while you were unconscious. He's been talking to them since. You should probably get out of here though, there's a third one over there and he doesn't look very happy about Masaki playing 20 questions with two of his henchmen."

Kaneki followed Uta's line of sight with his (admittedly) drunken one, finally locking eyes with the large, angry looking ghoul in the corner.  Kaneki immediately averted his gaze, feeling uneasy. 

"Thank you, Uta-san. Tell Itori we left and thank you for the wine."

Uta chuckled. "You're slurring your words still. You really are a lightweight." 

Choosing to ignore that comment, Kaneki jumped down from the stool, only to immediately regret the fast action as the world started spinning. He stumbled around for a bit, Uta looking amused. The angry ghoul in the corner was eyeing him suspiciously. 

Fuck. 

This was going to be harder than he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My only outlined note for this chapter was: "Hide, that's fermented blood."


	6. Loose Ends

Hide had gotten more information than he’d been expecting.

Between Eyepatch’s (Kaneki’s?) friends (distant information sources?) and the two South Harmon ghouls, Hide felt pretty confident in reopening the Professor case.

He kept his findings straight in his mind.

  * Professor was a student.
  * He wasn’t operating alone.
  * He was a Biology major.
  * He killed as frequently as he did because he survived off of human blood.



The two ghouls he was talking to (they wouldn’t tell him their names so Hide was calling them Lumberjack and Glasses in his head), were very hesitant to leak any information. They seemed to be a bit suspicious of him, which was not good. It meant they were selective about the ghouls they allowed into their group.

Currently, Lumberjack (He was wearing red flannel, and had a light brown face beard) and Glasses (he was wearing glasses, but that probably didn’t need to be mentioned) were talking about their classes at SHU. Every time Hide tried to divert the conversation back to the Professor, they’d only grow more suspicious, so Hide had resigned himself to picking apart whatever little details he could based on what the other two said.

Fortunately, they had been generous enough to tell Hide when and where their next group meeting was – two days from now at the SHU library, third floor, 5:00pm. They told Hide to save all of his questions until then, because their superiors were really the ones who could decide whether or not he would be allowed to join their gang.

That was a good enough lead for Hide. Hell, it was so much more than anything he and Akira had been able to find on their own.

Hide’s companions seemed to quiet down all of a sudden, and the investigator wasn’t sure why until he suddenly had 135 pounds of ghoul hanging off his shoulder.

“Hey, we should go.”

Kaneki seemed to be clinging to him for balance and his eyes were more unfocused than normal. Still, Hide found it hard not to laugh as he looked down to find Kaneki’s face covered in crude magic marker drawings. Uta and Itori must have done that after Hide left.

Heh, classic.

“You’re finally up, huh?” He couldn’t help but laugh a little as Kaneki pouted at him, somehow managing to look even more ridiculous than _Hide_ did with his serious expression and magic marker monocle.

“No we – _hic_ – we hav to go.” The ghoul insisted, blurry eyes scanning the bar nervously as he grabbed Hide around the shoulders and attempted to pull him from the chair.

“Whoa.” The investigator went up, startled by his companion’s strength. He stumbled sideways into Kaneki as he was yanked unexpectedly from his seat, causing the ghoul to lose his balance and fall backwards with a yelp into Lumberjack’s lap.

The bearded ghoul looked annoyed. “This a friend of yours, Masaki?” He grumbled while shoving Kaneki off of him.

Hide reached out and helped pull the little ghoul to his feet.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about him. Some people don’t know their limits am I right?” He offered, earning a satisfied huff from the enemy and an angered, painful, kick to the shin from Kaneki.

“But uh, it was good talking to you. Maybe I’ll see you around campus?” 

Hide figured he owed it to Kaneki to leave when asked. The ghoul _had_ sacrificed his sobriety so that Hide didn’t have to drink human blood, after all. Besides, he’d gotten plenty of information, enough that with some more investigation he might actually be able to close this case.

Hide chose to ignore the weird stab of disappointment in his chest at the thought of ending the case.

“Yeah maybe.” The smaller of the two ghouls said, seeing as Mr. Lumberjack was still eyeing Kaneki with aggravation.

Hide chuckled awkwardly, wrapping an arm around Kaneki’s shoulders in an attempt to steady him (he was wavering worryingly on his feet). “Well, see ya then.” He offered, steering Kaneki away from the table and towards the door. He caught the eye of the bartender as they were about to leave and waved goodbye. She smirked at him and diverted her attention back to the creepy tattooed ghoul that didn’t seem to know how to turn off his kakugan.

Hide exhaled in relief as they finally exited the building, stepping out into the cool night air and releasing his death grip on Kaneki, who he’d all but dragged out of the bar.

“Whoa.” The ghoul said, trying to regain his footing as he was granted the ability to move on his own again.

Hide stepped back, determined to give him some space and not reattach himself to Kaneki’s side like all of his instincts (strange, stupid crush instincts) were telling him.

His resolve lasted up until the moment Kaneki finally regained his balance, looked up at him, and fucking. Giggled. He was drunk and carefree and _smiling_ , geez, with his face flushed in inebriation and blissfully unaware of the very detailed penis Uta had drawn on his forehead.

And Hide knew he was screwed.

Still, biting down on his bottom lip to diminish the size of his beaming smile, the investigator stepped closer to the ghoul and took his hand, secretly doing backflips in his head when Kaneki didn’t immediately pull away.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

* * *

 

“Fumio, Ryota, who was that guy?”

The ghoul was large, his hair a messy black and hanging over two petulant eyes.

Fumio readjusted his glasses. “Dunno. Some kid coming to school with us next semester. Wouldn’t shut up. So I told him to save his questions for this week’s meeting.” 

“ _What_?” The ghoul was clearly angry, large hand smacking down on the table and kakugan activating. That got the attention of the other two, who up until this moment, had been grumpily staring at their drinks.

“What’s the big deal?” Ryota asked irritably.

“ _What did I tell you about this bar_? We came here for information, you know, to help keep us safe since there’s an organization in 15 that’s been knocking out ghouls like us. And you know what you two just did? _Spilled information to a complete stranger_. “

“Well he came here to keep himself safe too.” Fumio offered. “He was afraid we’d kill him for moving in on our territory – and he isn’t wrong. So I told him we’d give him the opportunity to join us. Chill dude, it’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

“Did you two morons even spare a second glance at the guy he walked out with?”

“Who – the short drunk guy?” 

“Yes, the short drunk guy _that has been hunting other ghouls_. That _is the very ghoul we’ve been told to hunt down_. Don’t tell me you don’t recognize him? Madoka mentioned seeing a ghoul with white hair at the site of the Insect gang’s hideout before they all got wiped out. He’s got to be a part of that organization, you know, the one we came here to find out about, or have you two nitwits already forgotten our mission?”

“Shit, are you serious?”

The eldest ghoul leveled his companions with a heated stare. “We aren’t taking any chances; _do you fucking hear me_? The boss wouldn’t be pleased if we had to relocate again. We’re hunting those two down. Either you kill that white haired freak or I’m going to tell the boss _exactly_ what happened here. And I don’t think she’ll be as kind. Now let’s get going.”

“Oh, man.” 

“Right.”

 

* * *

 

 

 Hide was uneasy.

After years of lurking in dark alleyways, he could say he had a sixth sense for this kind of thing, and he knew they were being watched. He couldn’t help but wonder if Kaneki already knew – and if so, was that the reason he’d asked to leave the bar? He certainly wasn’t acting nervous at the moment, but it was hard to tell if that was because he actually wasn’t concerned, or if it was because he was wasted out of his mind. 

Still, as they walked through the empty alleyways, Hide kept his eyes pealed for anything out of the ordinary. 

“Hey. Hey – _hic_ – hey, Hide.”

“Yeah?” Hide asked, smiling at his companion. He really wanted to be able to give him his full attention, but something still felt off, and he didn’t want to be distracted if their stalkers finally decided to show their faces.

“ _Ye_ ~your face looks so stupidp righ now.” Kaneki said abruptly, breaking the silence with an uncharacteristically loud laugh at Hide’s dumbfounded expression.

Hide paused, trying to control himself but ultimately failing and bursting out into laughter as well. “Dude, you should take a look at yourself. Because I seriously doubt that you somehow managed to grow a real black handlebar moustache in the half hour you were sleeping.”

“I cahn nhaut take yous ser~” Kaneki cut himself off, putting his hands on his knees to balance himself in a poor attempt to control his laughter. “You’re a t- _haa_ -terribible at being investigatatorer.” 

“Well, and you’re drunk so – ”

“ – _You’re_ a towel – ”

“ – so we should probably get you back to :re.”

“Okay.” Kaneki started to take a step forward, but seemed to change his mind mid-action and ended up abruptly turning and cutting off Hide’s path, nearly running into him but not seeming to notice. “Okay – wait.” 

“Whoa. Yeah, buddy?”

“Buh Took-chan.”

“But what?”

“N- _noooo_ she’s gon yell at me bepcause I’m dwunk.”

“Well, I think – ”

“Wilb you tell her I’m soapber?”

Hide paused. “Um. Well, I don’t know – ”

“Yeah she’ll bewieve you ‘cause you goods words.”

“I’m good words?”

“Eyeah!” Kaneki exclaimed, hands wildly gesturing at his sides like his plan was foolproof and gray eyes brighter and more expressive than Hide had ever seen. “You words ‘nd Touk-chan will-n’t know b-becauwse thast whah you do. And you tell her that – and – and then I’m nos twouble. 

Hide shook his head, grinning madly and prior unease completely out of his mind. “If I tell you you’re adorable will you remember tomorrow?” He asked.

“Hinamenenomi will keps mah secret spo yew don hav t’worry about Touka-chan. She’s wilb forveven she’s tha best persoww- _whoa_. Dis’d you see tha baht?” 

“I’m going to take that as a no. Fuck it, you are being so goddamn cute right now and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“No therrs losts bats izs’no good.”

“Like seriously, how is it even possible for so much cute and deadly to coexist in the same person?”

“Iz not basz. H- _hic_ - _ide_ stahp thah basts itz them.”

“What?”

“Iz the – ”

Hide let himself get distracted, a fact he became painfully aware of as three figures dropped down from the rooftop, two in front of them and one behind, effectively trapping them in the alley. 

Hide cursed, eyes going wide and blood running cold. It was the two ghouls from SHU he’d been talking to. He thought he’d been subtle? They certainly didn’t seem to suspect any foul play when he was talking to them at least. What made them change their mind? This wasn’t good.

Hide silently prayed to a higher power that they weren’t very skilled, because while Hide was well-trained in combat, he didn’t think he could take on three B-to-A rank ghouls at the same time, and Kaneki was pretty useless right now. In fact, he wasn’t even looking at them, apparently fascinated by something in the sky.

Hopefully he’d be able to talk them out of this, because if it came to a fight, they were _so_ screwed.

Glasses was the first to speak. “You left in a bit of a hurry there, _Masaki_.” He said, slowly rising from his crouch to a standing position, kakugan activated and a menacing scowl plastered to his face. 

“Uhhh, yeah. My friend is super wasted so I needed to take him home.” Hide immediately countered.

Almost as if to confirm his point, Kaneki suddenly looked Glasses up and down before pointing at him rather rudely and bursting out into laughter like something about him just really tickled his funny bone. “L~look ah his pants!” He promptly fell over.

Hide was mortified.

Glasses snarled and Hide felt rather than heard the ghoul behind them take a step forward.

“Don’t worry about taking him home.” A cool voice echoed off the walls of the alley. Hide whirled around to face it. “We’ll take it from here. You see, we have some unfinished business with that ghoul that needs to be addressed. We can take him home afterwards. Your, erm, _charming_ companion will be just fine, I promise.”

They were after Kaneki? Why? But more importantly, there was no way in hell Hide was going to let them take him. First off, he was in no position to defend himself. Secondly, Hide did _not_ like the creepy vibe this guy was giving off. It sent unpleasant chills down his spine and he _knew_ that whatever he wanted was nothing good.

“Ah, I dunno.” Hide said, trying to portray sheepishness in order to cover his rising panic. “He really isn’t in a good state right now and needs to sleep. Maybe another time?” He kept his eyes glued to the kakugan of the big, dark haired ghoul even as he knelt down to help Kaneki back to his feet, keeping his arms wrapped around the other as if it could shield him danger. Meanwhile, Kaneki looked like he was about to fall asleep again. 

This was _so_ not good – he should have told Akira. Dammit, why didn’t he call Akira? Or plan for some kind of backup? It usually didn’t go like this.

“I don’t think you understand….” The ghoul was closing in on them now, and Hide’s face paled, heart pace accelerating with ever slow, deliberate step the ghoul took. Hide could feel the other two closing in from behind as well. Crap, this wasn’t good. “That ghoul is a menace. He’s killing his own kind. Surely, you don’t want to associate yourself with that kind of monster. Unless… you’re a part of that organization too?”

Oh man, they’d recognized Kaneki, that’s what this was about.

… _Which meant they had no idea he was a dove_. Okay point Hide – his disguise still kicks ass. But also….

“If you want him you’ll have to rip him from my dead hands!” Hide declared suddenly, only angering the three even more. Still, as the big ghoul suddenly lunged at him, Hide released his grip on Kaneki, hoping the other would be conscious enough to fight at least a _little_ , and reached into his jacket pocket.

Hide had always hated the briefcases – they were so big and obnoxious, plus they were an obvious sign that someone was a dove. They didn’t really fit in with Hide’s style of investigation, anyway. Hide was all about subtlety, which is why he’d commissioned a CCG engineer to build him a small, pocket sized sword-like quinque that unraveled like a light saber when activated.

The dark haired ghoul reached for him, an animalistic roar erupting from his open mouth as he did so. Quickly, Hide pulled out his quinque, activating the dagger, taking a swing, and watching with satisfaction as it chopped the ghoul’s hand clean off, sending the bloody appendage flying into a dumpster.

Immediately afterwards, Hide dropped to the ground and rolled to the left in order to evade the angry kicks that were aimed at him by Lumberjack and Glasses from behind. 

“ _He’s a fucking dove_?!” One of them exclaimed. Hide wasn’t sure which one, considering he was too busy hopping back up onto his feet and assuming a fighting stance, quinque raised between himself and the ghouls, and back nearly pressed against the dumpster.

“Ohhh, boy. Now I’m really going to enjoy killing you.” Lumberjack sneered, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders before releasing a vicious deep red ukaku kagune from his back.

“ _Argh_! Fumio, grab the little one!” The leader rose to his feet again, clutching at his missing hand to slow the bleeding and looking at Hide with hatred blazing in his red irises. 

Hide’s eyes flickered over to Glasses, who rushed back to where Kaneki had started giggling about something again. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood as a low snarl built in his throat.

This was all his fault – he’d dragged Eyepatch into this and now he might die for real. Ugh, _no_. Hide wouldn’t let that happen. They would make it out of this. Kaneki had saved him once, and now it was Hide’s turn to return the favor (never mind that he’d gotten them into this mess in the first place). 

The investigator’s thoughts of coming to the other’s rescue were abruptly cut short as ukaku projectiles were shot at him from close range. Hide screeched, jerking his attention back to Lumberjack and the big ghoul while using his quinque as a shield. Still, one projectile lodged itself in his thigh and another grazed his cheekbone. Normally, Hide would have distanced himself from the ghoul and found shelter, but there weren’t many options in the alley, so he opted for a more direct approach. 

He lunged forward, swinging his blade.

Lumberjack jumped out of the way as the leader revealed himself to be a bikaku, his tail intercepting Hide’s strikes and countering with one of his own. Hide dodged to the right, purposely kicking over several trashcans and hurling one at the ghoul’s face.

The leader shrieked angrily as he was hit in the face with a foul smelling trash bag, giving Hide a brief window of opportunity to attack. He took it, rushing forward only to drop down and slide on his knees, slicing at the ghoul’s legs and slipping past him.

Not waiting for his cry of pain, Hide instantly jumped back to his feet, rushing madly down the alley to where Glasses and Kaneki had disappeared, the other two hot at his heels.

When Hide turned the corner and burst back out into the deserted street, he did not find what he was expecting.

Kaneki was on his back, still incoherently mumbling about something. Glasses was standing over him, leg raised.

“Fuckin’ _trash_.” Was all he said before he rammed his foot into Kaneki’s ribcage.

It was like a switch had been turned.

Glasses raised his leg again, dead set on beating the other to unconsciousness, but this time, when he dropped it back down, Kaneki was ready.

With a speed and precision that a drunk person should not possess, Kaneki’s hands shot up and grabbed the other ghoul’s leg around the ankle and _twisted_.

The resulting _SNAP_ and scream of pain made Hide jump in fright, also seeming to shock both Lumberjack and the leader, as the two ghouls stopped dead in their tracks.

Kaneki jumped to his feet, never taking his hands off of Glasses’ now broken leg, pulling and then pushing in a way that made the bone pierce through his skin before yanking his leg up and forcing the ghoul to fall forward onto his face with a sharp cry.

“Dounot frucking _touch me_.”

“Fumio!” Lumberjack shrieked from behind a petrified Hide, seeming to forget about the investigator entirely as he rushed past Hide and advanced on Kaneki. “You bastard! I’ll kill you!" 

Kaneki turned, stumbling a bit, but ultimately gaining the upper hand by ramming his knee into Lumberjack’s groin as he attempted to slash at Kaneki with his kagune. Lumberjack’s breath caught painfully, but he tried again regardless. Kaneki dodged the strike, grabbing onto Lumberjack’s bicep and yanking down hard enough to dislocate his shoulder.

His scream was enough to jolt the leader back into action. Who lurched at Hide once again, taking the investigator’s attention away from the other fight and forcing him to focus on his opponent.

Still, a few intermitted snaps and shouts of pain caught his attention.

Hide finally managed to kill the dark haired ghoul, able to get the upper hand now that he wasn’t fighting off both him and the Lumberjack at the same time.

Chest heaving and muscles aching, Hide dared turn back to the scene of violence taking place several feet away from him. He took off his hat and wig, tucking them into his pocket and frowning. Both Lumberjack and Glasses seemed to either be unconscious or dead, but Kaneki was still perched on top of one of them, fists slamming mercilessly into the ghoul’s face. Over and over again. Without stopping.

Hide didn’t know what to do. 

It was a strange, wretched sound that finally shocked him into action.

Kaneki was sobbing.

Between the slowly receding rush of adrenaline and strange combination of emotions he was feeling (fear, relief, worry, guilt), Hide’s legs felt like jelly. Still, he stumbled towards Kaneki, eyebrows knitted in concern. When he finally collapsed beside the ghoul, wrapping his arms around him to prevent the continuation of his vengeful assault on Lumberjack’s face, Kaneki froze. 

Hide’s chest tightened painfully, thinking he’d made a mistake and was about discover firsthand what Kaneki’s clenched fist felt like, when instead of reacting violently, Kaneki twisted in his arms, meeting Hide’s eyes with his own, wide, wet ones and looking just as horrified as Hide felt.

“H… H-Hide?”

“It’s me.”

There was a pause in which their eyes stayed locked, neither sure what to say. Kaneki was the first to break eye contact, turning to look down at his hands, almost seeming surprised to find them covered in flecks of blood. Most of which was not his. 

“… I’m sorry.”

Hide heaved a sigh, worry that Kaneki wasn’t going to stop ebbing away. Kaneki was back to himself. Though, Hide was still a bit unsettled.

Just what on earth _was_ that?

“…It’s okay.”

Kaneki shook his head, and Hide took note of the silent tears streaming down his face.

Hide rubbed his back, hoping Kaneki found the feeling soothing and not creepy. “Come on, we’ve got to keep going, alright?”

Kaneki sucked in a sharp breath, nodding briefly in understanding but unable to meet Hide’s eyes. 

“Looks like you’ve saved me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to clarify why Kaneki drank as much as he did last chapter. Itori usually asks for something in return for her information. Putting the glasses on the bar top was her subtle way of saying ‘I want to see you get fucked up’, which Kaneki immediately picked up on and that’s why he was panicking. It was made worse because Hide was human. Instead of forcing Hide to choke down literal blood, he was also drinking for Hide because Uta and Itori would have been suspicious if Hide didn’t drink at all.
> 
> And just fyi, drunk Kaneki is modeled after my best friend who literally turns into a child. Sorry if his antics seem over done but like… he’s based off of some legitimate experiences I’ve had soooooOoO0o0oOoo sorry for the long note okay bye now


	7. Bitter Bunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Language warning because Touka.

Touka Kirishima was not amused.

It was nearing two o’clock in the morning and her moron of a roommate wasn’t home yet.

Even though Kaneki had urged her not to worry about him, Touka had been adamant in her endeavor of waiting up for him. Besides, her fucked up little pacifistic revolutionist of a half-ghoul best friend should stop telling her what to do – she’d stop worrying about him when he stopped giving her a reason to, dammit. And right now, she felt her worried pacing was more than justified.

Somehow, some asinine tool had not only managed to track them down, but was now essentially blackmailing Kaneki into doing his work for him.

“ _It’s not blackmail, Touka. I_ agreed _to help him_.” She remembered Kaneki saying a few days ago, when he had gathered everyone around to tell them he’s suddenly become buddy-buddy with a dove.

( _It was totally blackmail and no one could convince her otherwise._ )

Honestly, she was already starting to plan for when the doves finally decided Kaneki’s help wasn’t good enough anymore and raided their home. It was an inevitable disaster, after all. That’s what the CCG did. This was home to several high-ranking ghouls and if Kaneki wanted to believe that he’d managed to reach an understanding with a human, fine, she’d let him enjoy his ten minutes in the back of the wardrobe with Mr. Freaking Tumnus. But when that asshole goat finally says “ _Hey! Lol this was fun and all but I gotta turn you in now haha oops_ ”, Touka was going to be ready.

Like hell she’d lose another brother. Like _hell_ she’d let someone mess with Kaneki. If that damn investigator ever so much as _said_ something hurtful to her friend, well, she used to be known as the Dove Killer of the 20th ward. Maybe she hadn’t quite outgrown that phase yet after all.

“Where the hell are you, Kaneki?” She wondered aloud, stopping her pacing to peer through the front window of :re. The streets were empty.

That’s it. If Kaneki wasn’t back in ten minutes she was going to storm down to Helter Skelter and collect him herself, God Have Mercy on anyone who got in her way.

Heaving a sigh, she walked behind the counter and started to make herself a cup of coffee. She would need energy if she was going to go make a scene. And she would.

It had been three long years of hell putting their lives back together after the raid on Anteiku. They were only recently starting to reaffirm their position in the underground network of ghoul society, and they’ve already been compromised. Touka supposed they could move again if they had to, but the idea wasn’t particularly appealing. It had been hard enough dropping off the radar the first time, what with both Aogiri and the CCG after them. And now that the CCG knew that Kaneki was still alive, it was only a matter of time before Aogiri did too.

Touka was suddenly pulled from her troubled thoughts by the sound of the front doorknob being rattled, followed by a frustrated swear. She put down her coffee, senses abruptly switching to high alert. She did not recognize that voice.

It only took her three quick strides to reach the door and yank it open.

Her worry only worsened.

“What the fuck happened?” Touka knew her voice sounded low, cold even, and she could only imagine how absolutely murderous she looked based on the frightened expression of the dove at her door.

The investigator looked shocked, like he hadn’t expected someone to open the door for him and had not yet had the chance to gather his wits. “I – uh – he fell asleep in the middle of the road.” Was the rushed reply.

“Yeah I fucking gathered that, thanks a lot Einstein. Is he okay? Whose blood is that? Well? Don’t just stand there get inside!”

“Erm – right.” The man said, stepping past the threshold of the door and allowing Touka to close and lock it behind him. She tossed the keys haphazardly onto one of the tables, brushing past the investigator and heading back into the kitchen.

To her annoyance, he didn’t immediately follow, instead standing awkwardly in the café with an unconscious Kaneki in his arms like he had absolutely no idea what to do. Oh my _god_ , did she want to murder him.

Stopping at the entrance to the kitchen, Touka turned around to face the source of all her current major life stresses. “Yeah hi there, Sherlock. You going to follow me or are you going to just stand there looking pathetic?”

“What? Uh – coming.” He stammered, jolting back into action and following swiftly behind Touka, careful not to bang Kaneki’s head on any walls as she led him up the stairs. His arms killed. Kaneki wasn’t heavy per se, but carrying anything for longer than five minutes would get tiring.

Knowing her rage was palpable but not particularly caring, Touka led the dove down the hall to Kaneki’s small bedroom, shoving open the door and gesturing for the investigator to lay him down on his twin sized bed. Kaneki mumbled something incoherently.

“How much did he drink?” Touka snapped. She could smell both alcohol and blood on him so it wasn’t hard to guess what had happened. She only hoped his unconsciousness was because of the drinking and not because of any violence. She’d hate to meet the ghoul that could take down Kaneki these days.

“Um, well he was drinking for me too, so six glasses of wine.”

“Just Six? That wouldn’t have done this to him, his RC count is off the charts he should have been able to counteract that much alcohol.”

The investigator shuffled his feet, looking a little like Kaneki did when she first met him – childlike, confused, totally out of his element. It made her want to punch him in his stupid face for endangering her family and then having the nerve to stand there and look helpless. The fucker.

“So… what does that mean?” The dumb dove finally responded.

“It means his drink was either spiked or drugged, dumbass! Now stop being useless and go get a washcloth from the bathroom we need to clean off the blood.”

“Why would Itori do that?”

“I don’t know! Because she’s insane? Because she runs a bar and wants everyone to be drunk? Do I look like I know everything? Now get moving, loser, before I come over there and break your fucking foot.”

“On it.” The investigator said, apparently having shaken himself out of his intimidated daze. Freaking finally.

As he rushed out of the room, Touka turned her attention back to Kaneki. The flecks of blood were only on his hands and the sleeves of his sweater, which was good. It meant he hadn’t been hurt and likely managed to beat someone up while totally blacked out. Strangely, Touka was kind of proud of that, having been his first teacher. Still, it would be better if Kaneki didn’t know anything had happened. She knew from experience how catatonic he could get after losing control, and she hated seeing him like that.

Grumbling in annoyance, Touka went to remove Kaneki’s shirt. If she washed it soon enough, all the blood would wash out and he’d have no idea there was any blood to begin with. If he asked about his change of clothes in the morning, she’d just tell him he threw up. He’d probably be too embarrassed to question any further after that.

“Hey I’ve got the – _whoa what the fuck_.” The dove rushed back with a washcloth, only to recoil with a start as he witnessed Touka finish yanking the sweater over Kaneki’s head.

“Good hand it over.” She snapped petulantly. She did not have time for this moron’s sudden awkwardness.

In the dark Touka could make out a light blush on the investigator’s face as he handed her the washcloth. He also seemed to be making a point to look anywhere but at Kaneki which was… weird but she didn’t have time to analyze that right now. Instead, she snatched the washcloth from his hands and tossed him Kaneki’s sweater.

“There’s a door in the kitchen that leads to the basement. Go make yourself useful and wash this. The washer’s old but not complicated – you’ll figure it out. Wash it with cold water. Detergent is on the top shelf.”

“Got it. Be back in a sec.”

“No, take your time.” Touka grumbled, scrubbing the flecks of blood off of Kaneki’s hands and a little bit from off of his stomach. Once satisfied, she put the washcloth down and picked out a random t-shirt from his dresser, pulling it over his head. Kaneki occasionally mumbled something in his sleep, but it didn’t look like he’d be waking up any time soon. Reckless jackass. (Touka loved him anyway).

Lastly, she turned her friend onto his side and placed the trashcan from his desk beside his bed, just in case he _actually_ needed to throw up. Happy with her newly improved caretaking skills, she collected the dirtied washcloth and flicked off the lights, shutting his door behind her just in time to catch the dove running back up the stairs.

Oh right, she still had an infestation to deal with.

“Hey!” He said, smiling when he caught her eye. “I just tossed his sweater in the wash.”

Something in his open, friendly expression broke something in Touka. If he thought they were friends just because Kaneki trusted him, he was in for a surprise.

“I’m _so_ glad you know how to perform basic human functions, thank you.” She said, mirroring his smile while putting as much bite into her words as possible.

The dove looked uneasy and confused for all of two seconds – like he couldn’t quite figure out where he stood with her – until Touka grabbed him by the front of his jacket and slammed him against the hallway wall.

“What – whoa, uh calm down?” He said, eyes widening marginally in a combination of surprise and fear.

Good.

Touka’s smile dropped from her face, eyes narrowing and kakugan activating. She wanted this punk to know exactly where he stood with her, and exactly how unwelcome he was in her home. Her family had been through too much to risk it all to follow the whims of some self-entitled brat, and she was going to make sure he understood that.

“Listen here CCG scum,” Touka hissed, relishing in the petrified expression on Blondie’s face. “I don’t know who you are or what you think you’re doing, but I’m warning you, one wrong move and I will end you. You have no freaking _clue_ how hard it is to live as a ghoul and all you and your buddies at ‘Commission Mass Murder’ do is make that life a hundred times harder. As far as Kaneki goes – his life has been shit, even by ghoul standards. You can’t even imagine the things he’s lived through. He is one of the best people I’ve ever met and he’s had some of the shittiest luck. So if you think for a goddamn _second_ that I’m just going to sit here and let you mess with my friend, you’re out of your damn mind. For whatever unfathomable reason, Kaneki has decided to trust you. So I’ll let you go. But listen here….”

Touka tightened her grip on the dove’s shirt, gritting her teeth and leaning up on the tips of her toes in an attempt to appear more intimidating. Judging by the small noise of terror Blondie makes in response, Touka would say she succeeded.

“If you do anything to betray that trust, if you expose us to the CCG, if you hurt Kaneki or any one of the ghouls employed at :re, hell, if I hear Kaneki say _one_ negative thing about you _ever_ , I will rip out your guts and shove them down your throat so I can listen to you choke while you bleed to death slowly. _Do you understand me_?”

“I – erm – y-yes.”

“What was that?”

“Yes – I – I understand.”

“Good. Then there's just one more thing.” Touka said, releasing her hold on the dove and deactivating her kakugan. She took a step back, giving him some much needed breathing room. "Whatever happened, don't tell Kaneki you guys got in a fight. Or if you do make it clear that he didn't have any part in it."

"Why?"

"Just do it okay? i don't need to explain anything to you. I'll walk you out." 

The walk down the stairs and to the front door was, thankfully, silent. Looks like he got the message.

As she unlocked and opened the entrance to :re once more, Touka added “By the way you smell like ass.”

The dove stepped through the doorway, mistaking her comment as an invitation to conversation. His smile was hesitant. “Yeah – funny story, I dug most of my costume out of the – ”

“Don’t care.”

The door was promptly slammed and locked.

From the front window, Touka watched Blondie make his way down the street, just to make sure he really left. Unfortunately, he turned back and caught her eye, waving as he did so.

Touka flicked him off.

He didn’t look back again.


	8. Return

“Where on earth have you been?” Akira couldn’t help but ask her partner as he finally made an appearance at the office, having been MIA for several days.

Hide simply slid into his chair, offering her one of his famous cheeky grins and logging on to his computer. “Investigating.” He replied in that deceptively bright way he had about him.

Akira knew Hide was a lot smarter than he let on. In many ways, he was as formidable a foe as Amon, though most of the other investigators in the office failed to see this. Hide’s intelligence was one of the key reasons Akira had chosen to take him on as an apprentice years ago. His deductive reasoning was on par with her own, but his methods were somewhat unorthodox. He was prone to disappearing for days or sometimes even weeks at a time and then suddenly reappearing having figured out an entire case. He had this “character” he played in the ghoul underworld and often used him to solve high ranking cases.

Akira was convinced that the ghouls would eventually catch on and he’d be killed, but so far he’s always come back from his self-assigned missions. Still, she couldn’t help but worry, even if she never showed it. Hide was like the little brother she’d never had.

“I take it you’ve got something on Professor?”

“Oh yeah. We may solve this case yet!” The younger chirped. “We need to be at the SHU library at 5. The Professor’s gang is having a meeting. Also, the Professor is a student.”

Akira raised an eyebrow. That was oddly specific information. She’d have to ask Hide about it later. But for now….

Akira checked her watch. “Its nearly 4:30 now. We should head out.”

“Right!”

 

* * *

 

 

The library was packed with students. Typical, Akira supposed, considering it was nearly exam week.

The third floor was busy as well, littered with groups of young adults huddled together around round tables, surrounded by papers and books and laptops.

“Where’s your group, Hide?” Akira asked. So far, no one stood out to her. They all looked like normal students.

“Uhhh, not sure. I guess we’ll just have to look around for anyone suspicious.”

“You realize any one of these students could be who we’re looking for and neither of us bothered to change clothes, right? I don’t think ‘ _just looking around_ ’ will get us very far.” Akira takes back everything she said about Hide being smart. Wow, he did not think this one through.

“Ah… right. Well I was going to have some informants planted in the meeting that I would recognize! But….”

Akira raised an eyebrow. “ _But_ …?”

“…They attacked me.”

“So they knew you were with the CCG?”

“Well… not exactly.”

Akira paused, leveling Hide with a stare. After a moment of consideration, she shook her head and gestured for him to follow her outside the building and onto an isolated path. “Alright, let me get this straight. You were attacked by your informants. Did they get away?”

“No they – erm – I killed them.”

“Why didn’t you report the bodies?”

“Well I was going to! But by the time I got back they were already gone! I mean – erm – _shit_.”

“ _Hide_.” Akira practically growled. “You’ve been _compromised_. How did you not get that? There must have been other ghouls affiliated with the ones you killed that picked up the bodies while you were “ _gone_ ”. Also, why didn’t you immediately call for backup? Leaving ghoul bodies unattended is very against protocol. You know this.”

“I – well – I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking.”

“Clearly. But that’s not an answer.”

Hide was chewing his bottom lip nervously and Akira could practically see the gears turning in his head as he looked for a suitable excuse. Something wasn’t right. Hide was usually pretty reckless but never to this extent.

“Okay look, I went undercover for a bit. I was able to track down and strike up a conversation with some ghouls who are affiliated with the professor and I got out okay but then for some reason they had second thoughts so they confronted me on the street as I was leaving. That’s when I blew my cover. I hit my head pretty hard and passed out behind some dumpsters. When I came to, the bodies were gone.”

Akira narrowed her eyes. She knew her partner, and while that little story was plausible, it didn’t explain why it had taken him so long to spit it out. Besides, after working with him for a few years she had learned how to tell when he was lying, despite how good at it he was.

The petite blonde pointed an accusing finger. “Nagachika, what are you hiding?”

Hide had only just spit out his defensive “What do you mean?” when, rather unexpectedly, another voice called out in a soft, inquisitive tone, “Mr. Akimoto-san is that you?”

Hide froze like he’d had a bucket of ice water dumped on his head.

Meanwhile, Akira raised an eyebrow, turning around to face the questioning voice at the end of the pathway. It was a student from SHU, her hair dirty blond and her eyes soft and confused. For a moment, Akira thought she might be a ghoul that Hide had tricked during one of his ‘investigations’, but after giving her a once over and noting the genuine curiosity on her face, Akira had second thoughts.

Beside her stood another male student that Akira vaguely recognized, but from where she was unsure.

It took her partner a moment to regain his bearings, but before Akira had fully digested the situation, he had already put on his friendly smile and was making his way over to the girl. “Ah, Yoriko was it? What are you doing here?” 

The girl smiled good-naturedly. “I could be asking you the same question. Shouldn’t you be out scouring the ward for the finest bakeries?”

Akira wasn’t sure why, but she felt like there was more to the girl’s question than she understood. She was missing something here.

Hesitantly, she followed Hide over to the group, reclaiming her position beside him.

“I _am_ searching the ward! You guys have a bakery here on campus too, you know!” Hide countered in that special tone Akira recognized as the one he always used when his words had a double meaning. 

The boy beside Yoriko looked as confused as Akira felt, his dark brown eyes flicking between Yoriko and Hide like he was trying to figure out some incredible puzzle.

“Hey…” He interjected after a moment. “Aren’t you two those investigators that were questioning Dr. Kobayashi like a week ago?”

Oh, that’s why Akira recognized him. He was one of the two students that had walked in during one of their investigations. She hadn’t really paid him much attention at the time because they’d already proven that his Biology professor wasn’t a ghoul and they hadn’t been investigating students.

Akira was at a loss, and elected to keep her mouth shut considering she had _no idea_ what was going on. She would have to trust this one to Hide’s judgment – which wasn’t all that thrilling given Hide’s odd behavior as of late.

Oh, boy. 

“Oh yeah! That’s us.” Hide chirped immediately. There was no use denying it. “I’m Daichi Akimoto, first class investigator and pastry enthusiast! And this is my partner, Akira Mado.” 

Akira thought she saw Yoriko’s smile waver as Hide introduced himself as an employee of the CCG. Maybe she’d been wrong about the girl’s human status after all. She narrowed her eyes in thought.

“Pastry enthusiast? That’s an interesting job description.” The boy joked, putting on airs. There was something off about him, some look in his eye that Akira was having trouble identifying.

Both Yoriko and Hide laughed, Akira managing to crack a smile in an effort to appear less intense. 

“Daichi-san has been stopping by the bakery where I work.” Yoriko explained to her companion. “He told me he was with the 15th Ward Post when we first met – can you believe that!”

“That’s my partner for you, always a prankster.” Akira added in a light tone.

“He sure is.” Yoriko said, her grin directed at Hide.

Suddenly the boy interjected again, this time sticking out a hand to shake. “Well, any friend of Yoriko-chan’s is a friend of mine. You can call me Otori.”

“Daichi Akimoto.” 

“Akira Mado.”

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Otori said, his dark eyes flickering between them, that same uncertain emotion swimming just beneath the surface of his friendly composure. “So, you’re ghoul investigators? That’s got to be a rough line of work.”

“It’s no cake walk, that’s for sure. But it’s very rewarding.” Hide responded.

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Good pay?”

“It’s decent.”

“Not a great life expectancy though, I imagine.” Otori replied.

 “Oh don’t be like that.” Yoriko said, smacking her friend lightly on the arm with an amused smile. “I apologize for this one, he has no tact.”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it.” Hide immediately countered. “And to answer your question, no there’s not really a great life expectancy – that is unless you’re good.”

“And you are?”

“I like to think so.”

“Ah, but you’re still working on the case you had when you interviewed Dr. Kobayashi last week, so you can’t be _that_ good.”

“O _kay_! We should probably be going.” Yoriko cut in, glaring at Otori, whose eyes were locked on Hide’s. “Look – Kyu’s waiting for us over by the picnic tables.” She directed their attention to another student, waving at them from the green-space.

“Oh, you’re right.” Otori said, looking over. “Well it was nice to meet you, Akira, Daichi.” 

“You as well.” 

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Bye Daichi-san! Maybe I’ll see you at the bakery sometime soon?” Yoriko added, that almost hopeful yet strangely inquisitive tone in her voice again.

“Yeah I’ll try to drop by!”

“Great!”

“Come on, Yoriko.” Otori said, fake smile still in place. He slid an arm around Yoriko’s shoulders, a calculated move, Akira could tell.

“Good luck with your investigation.” He called back.

“Thanks!” Hide called after them, eyes trained on the students backs as they disappeared into the crowd.

Akira pursed her lips, watching the smile slowly fall from Hide’s face and an unusually contemplative expression take over. After a moment of strange silence, Akira grew too impatient to allow Hide to continue whatever line of thought his mind was following. She tapped her foot on the pavement, arms crossed. 

“So?”

Hide jolted, finally acknowledging his partner. “What?”

“How do you know her, Mr. _Akimoto_ of the _15 th Ward Post_?”

Hide scratched his temple. “A-haha… funny story….”

“Care to share?”

The nervous smile on his face faltered, eyes shuffling through several conflicting emotions, unable to decide on one.

Hide was painfully aware of how unprepared he had been to take on today. He’d gotten home late the night before, only having to stay up even later to wash off the smell of his costume as well as the dirt and blood flaking his skin. All in all, he probably didn’t get to sleep until around 6am and had to be at headquarters by 9am because of a stupid briefing. Then work had been busy, and he hadn’t had time to come up with an adequate story before telling Akira all of his findings. Nor had he really been able to fully dissect all the information he’d learned the night before, or really even think about it. He’d been exhausted (from his undercover investigation, from the fight, from carrying an unconscious (distractingly cute) ghoul several miles, from having to take care of said ghoul and then receiving a death threat from his friend).

And now Akira was staring at him, icy eyes narrowed, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently and he knew he was screwed. She wouldn’t believe anything other than the truth. 

Oh boy, he’d been hoping he’d have more time to prepare her before dropping this bomb but fate was not his friend today.

Hide sighed in defeat. Akira raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay, I give. I have something to tell you. But before I do, I need you to promise me you won’t freak out.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hmm, what is it?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, sirs. But the crew from 15 has come back with some interesting photos… I think you’ll want to see this.”

A childish giggle, light and airy in all the wrong ways. It responded before any of the men could, bounding over to the interrupting subordinate with an odd sort of peppy elegance. “Let’s see them.” The command sounded more like a suggestion than an order. The executives were an odd sort of people.

The ghoul dropped several images onto the table, sparing a glance up at the man he thought was his leader before looking down to sort through the photos, like he was looking for a particular one.

“Ah, no investigator Amon today?” The bandaged ghoul sang, also shifting through the images. “I was hoping he’d come out of the office soon. Dr. Kanou’s getting impatient. No one’s surviving his surgery.” 

“Yes well, we haven’t had much luck with him, but I’m sure the opportunity will present itself soon. But that’s not really what – ah found it!” The other said, finally holding up a photo. “We’ve been trailing that investigator’s team like you asked. Look at this.”

The small ghoul snatched the picture with lightning speed, a delighted laugh echoing off the cold walls. “ _Tatara~san_ , I _told_ you he was still alive.”


	9. Chaotic Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @Hide omfg chill

Akira Mado was a prodigious investigator in every sense of the word. She graduated Valedictorian of her academy class, progressed from 3rd to 1st rank in barely nine months, and hardly a year later was promoted to 1st class.

Some might say her competitive drive and ambition had left her cold and distant, but over the years, she felt herself soften considerably, becoming gradually more expressive of her emotions and friendlier towards her coworkers. Hide liked to claim responsibility for this, having been her partner during the majority of her transformation. But Akira knew what it really was.

She had lost too many people; both of her parents, several classmates, and nearly both Takizawa and Amon on multiple occasions. Most people would probably find themselves growing colder after experiencing so much loss, but on the contrary, Akira only warmed up in response. She wanted to have healthier relationships with the people she loved.

Maybe that was why she didn’t storm straight down to the CCG’s main office the minute Hide opened his mouth.

Maybe that was why she couldn’t seem to start the car.

“Hide… you know this is technically treason, right?” Her voice was low, but steady, hyperaware of Hide’s every movement, every shifting facial expression.

“I… yeah I know what our superiors would say. But, Akira… he’s been cleaning up the ward. He was helping me.”

“Or he’s been playing you. He is a _ghoul_ , Hide, no matter what way you look at it, he still has to eat people. I’m not ignorant enough to believe they have any choice in the matter, I know how our world works. Regardless, ghouls are our natural enemies. Would you just as soon befriend a shark?”

“Uh, yeah that’d be sweet.” Hide chirped, trying to lighten the mood.

Akira was unimpressed, lips pressing together in a firm line as she stared the smile off her partner’s face. “What about a serial killer?” She continued, somehow speaking without really knowing what she was saying, caught in a strange, paralyzing state of disbelief. “Would you be cool hanging out with someone who kills other people for fun? Because that’s what ghouls basically _are_ , Hide. Serial killers. Murderers.”

“No! Akira he’s not like that. _They’re_ not like that. They’ve found other ways to eat without murdering.” Akira could hear the panic rising in Hide’s voice, her own heart rate picking up in response. 

Hide befriended Eyepatch? Walked in and out of a ghoul bar? Let countless ghouls go free? Wants to _keep_ letting them go free? Ridiculous.

“They? Now you’re defending all of them? And do you really believe that?”

“N – Akira, come on.” Hide said, running a hand though his hair. “He’s really a good person. Don’t you trust me? Trust my judgment?” 

“Don’t make this about you and me. We’ve been partnered for two years, now. You know I trust you. What I don’t trust, is _ghouls_. And Eyepatch – he’s associated with the Rabbit, remember? _That’s_ the ghoul that killed my father. As far as I’m concerned, any ghoul associated with the Dove Killer of the 20 th ward isn’t going to be some guy with great, upstanding morals.”

“But – Amon-san! H-he thinks highly of Eyepatch too! Remember how excited he was when I told you guys he was still alive?”

“You’re both hopeless.” Akira shook her head, looking away from Hide to stare out the windshield like she suddenly couldn’t bear to look at him. “Besides, I’m sure Amon would be smart enough not to approach an SS-rated ghoul in public like you did. He’s not so enchanted with him to be blind to the dangers that Eyepatch presents.”

“See, that’s what I keep telling you – he’s not dangerous!”

“Not dangerous?” Akira spat, suddenly furious, unable to contain all of the rage that had been building within her. Her eyes flickered with fury as Hide visibly shrunk back in the passenger’s seat. “And I suppose that Professor isn’t dangerous either, or Black Widow, or Rabbit, or any of the members of Aogiri Tree?”

“No – I didn’t say – ”

“Hide this is treason! You could easily get ten years in prison for this level of obstruction of justice. And for what? To protect some ghoul that’s playing you like Beethoven on piano. You’re that eager to throw your life away?”

“Akira, please. Just listen to me – ”

“A ghoul needs at least one body a month to live. Let’s say your _precious_ _friend_ lives to be eighty years old. That’s nearly one thousand dead to feed one ghoul over the course of a lifetime, not including excess murder and spouts of binge eating. Oh that’s right, you were still in the academy when the 20 th ward’s Binge Eater was at large. Did you know that that ghoul sometimes killed about 30 men a month all at the same time? You should look at the reports, she didn’t even eat all of them, just nibbled on each victim like she wanted to sample the taste of each and every one. That’s thirty people a month, which is three hundred and sixty people in a year. She makes Professor look like a novice. How can you talk about Eyepatch like he’s some kind of ally while investigating other ghouls just like him!? How are you going to be able to look into the eyes of the parents of Professor’s victims and tell them that their daughters won’t be making it home for the holidays? Knowing that you’re aiding one of the monsters that robbed that family of their children without leaving behind so much as a body?”

“Okay, come on! You know I’ve had my fair share of bad experiences with ghouls too! You remember how we met, don’t you? Why I joined the CCG to begin with? I’m not some blind third party that has no insight to the horrors of the ghoul world. I know how sick they can be." Hide countered, biting back with just as much anger. “They kill and kill sometimes for fun, sometimes to eat, and sometimes for no apparent reason at all. I know that! But you’re likening Eyepatch to all of these really extreme cases! I’m telling you he’s not like that! If he was, we would have found something on his eating preferences by now. If he was we would already have a lead about his whereabouts. It’s because he _doesn’t hunt_ that he’s been able to stay off the radar. Don’t’ you see?”

Akira frowned, eyes blazing. “You’re being fooled, Hide. Ghouls don’t reach SS rating for no reason. You’re putting yourself in danger. He’s going to kill you.”

“Okay, well, what do you want to do about it? Are you going to turn me in? Make me tell the higher ups?” Hide suggested somewhat bitterly, gaze unwavering.

Akira huffed, turning away. “Don’t be ridiculous.” (She couldn’t do that to Hide).

“Then what? What can we do? It’s already done. I’ve already committed treason, already allied myself to a ghoul. And if Eyepatch was as ‘ _dangerous’_ as you seem to believe, I doubt he’d let me out of our deal easily.”

“What do you want me to do? What do you want me to _say_ , Hide? I can’t believe you’d be so stupid.” 

Hide was silent, the tense pause giving Akira some time to think. Sure, Eyepatch displayed a pattern of abnormal behavior in ghouls, but for Hide to trust him with his _life_? That was out of the question. Either she told the CCG and Hide got thrown in jail (unforgivable), or she let Hide _die_ (unbearable). She needed to think of a way out of this – there had to be more options. 

“What if we….” Akira started, prompting Hide to look up from where he had been staring guiltily down at his lap. “What if we turned in a report now – told the higher ups that we _just now_ found him on accident. We could say we went out for coffee and he – ”

“Akira _no_!” Hide interjected immediately, voice so uncharacteristically enraged that it was paralyzing. The raw desperation in his eyes further suppressed her ability to speak. "I'm not going to turn him in.”

Traffic hummed around them, several cars speeding by on the street adjacent to where they were parked. Akira blinked several times, unsure how to proceed, but trying with all her might to come up with the most logical solution to their problem. She closed her mouth, realizing it had been hanging open, and swallowed slowly. 

“Hide,” Akira started, dropping her voice an octave to take on a commanding tone. “I am your superior. This is the only reasonable way out of this mess. You will lis – ”

“I’ll confess. If you say a thing to the executives, I’ll tell them everything.” 

The strange combination of emotions Hide’s statement produced caused a lump to form in her throat. She was angry – angry at him for putting them in this situation, for being too stubborn to think rationally. And she was scared, so scared that she was going to lose Hide too, her partner and brother. This was unacceptable.

_And all Eyepatch’s fault._

Suddenly, and without really thinking, Akira turned forward and put the car in drive, prompting a startled “ _what are you doing_?” from Hide. 

They turned onto the street. 

“We’re going to :re.”

 

* * *

 

Hide’s heart hadn’t stopped pounding in his chest since he’d started talking with Akira, but as they parallel parked just down the street from :re, Hide could have sworn his heart stopped beating altogether.

What was Akira thinking? What was she trying to prove? Hide was very uneasy. 

The senior investigator opened her door with determination, stepping out onto the sidewalk and barely giving Hide a chance to catch up as she marched towards the small coffee shop.

Hide floundered after her, pausing to put a few coins in the meter and stumbling over his nice shoes, briefcase pulling his arm in an awkward sweeping motion from his erratic changes in movement. Stupid inertia.

He was just getting hopeful that he’d catch up to her when Akira stopped altogether, causing him to nearly bowl her over. 

“Hey – Akira what the hell?”

“ _Shh_!”

He was promptly pulled under the awning of a neighboring shop.

Akira peered around the corner, apparently observing from a distance. It wasn’t until Hide took a look as well that he figured out why.

Kaneki was outside, in full uniform, and appeared to be making small talk with a customer while watering the flowers at the front of the shop. The normalcy of the whole thing must have been utterly bizarre to Akira, but Hide felt a sudden wave of warmth wash over him at the scene, and a smile threatened to creep its way onto his face. If the atmosphere hadn’t been so tense, it might have succeeded.

Still, this was no time for him to be getting giddy. It was a miracle Akira hadn’t already called the CCG. If he played his cards right, he might manage to salvage this. His brain kicked into overdrive, trying to formulate the best possible way to diffuse all tension from the situation.

Hide took one look between the oblivious barista watering the window-box flowers at the front of :re, and his partner, who was coldly regarding the ghoul and seemed to be on the verge of either calling for backup or straight-up attacking him in the middle of the street, and made up his mind.

It was a pretty dumb plan, but Hide needed to demonstrate Eyepatch’s harmlessness _somehow_ , and what better way than with his natural urge to greet his friend in the most chaotic way possible?

“Hey can you hold this? Thanks.” Hide broke the silence, throwing his briefcase at Akira without waiting for her response. (It hit her in the side. She was not pleased). Then, before his superior had a chance to react, he stepped out onto the sidewalk, cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted at the top of his lungs “ _YO KANEKI_!”, while Akira stood slack-jawed under the awning.

Kaneki was mildly startled, head jerking in the direction of the shout and grey eyes widening in terror at the orange blur barreling itself towards him full-speed. The watering can clattered to the ground, spraying several of :re’s patrons’ feet with water. 

“Hide? – _Oof_!” Kaneki yelped, the force of Hide’s hug slamming him against :re’s front window. Several of the patrons inside looked up, startled. 

“HEY BUDDY HOW ARE YOU?!”

“H-H-Hide what are you – ”

“JUST CHEKING UP ON MY FRIEND! MAN, YOU WERE SO GONE YESTERDAY!”

“You’re making a scene!”

“IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE!”

“Hi-i-de st-stop shake – ”

“AND NOT DEAD!”

“Stop sh-shaking me!" 

“BECAUSE THAT WOULD SUCK!”

“UGH STOP I’M SUPER HUNGOVER!” Kaneki snapped, twisting himself out of Hide’s grasp and holding up a palm between them like he was afraid Hide would immediately start shaking him again if he let him close enough.

“Hey, so, we need to talk.” Kaneki thought Hide’s smile looked a little forced; it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes. That alone was enough to put him on alert. Was that bizarre hug/tackle a calculated move? 

The ghoul grumbled, rubbing his temples and trying to ignore the annoyed stares he was getting from all of the customers seated outside. How on Earth was he going to look them in the eye now? Dammit, Hide. “I’m working. Can it wait?”

“Not really.” The blond said. He cast a look over his shoulder, noting that his colleague had stepped out from under the awning, and was watching his interaction with Eyepatch in absolute astonishment.

He smiled, somewhat encouraged, and turned back to Kaneki.

“What’s going on? Hide, did something happen?” 

“Uuuh, kind of. Come on I’ll explain when we’re in private, but right now I need you to come with me.” Hide cast another look over his shoulder, panicking slightly when he noticed that Akira had started making her way towards the coffee shop. “Shit.”

“What?” Kaneki asked, peering around Hide to catch sight of the additional dove. He froze, caught somewhere between a sense of horror and betrayal. “Hide – you didn’t.” 

“Ah – no – look I’ll explain. It’s going to be fine though. Just follow my lead.” 

“Uh what – _hey_!” 

Hide had suddenly (and in Kaneki’s opinion, rather inexplicably) lurched forward and put him in a headlock, twisting him around to face his partner, who was now standing right in front of them, eyes locked on Kaneki’s exposed face, paying no heed to the irritated couple that dumped a few bills onto one of the patio tables and shoved past her as they left.

Kaneki felt his face pale, mind going absolutely blank, jaw dropping. The woman looked about as lost as he felt.

The weird silence only lasted a moment, however, before Hide was breaking it with one of his over-enthusiastic shouts.

“See! I _told_ you!” He exclaimed. “Look at this harmless little guy!” 

“Wah… H-Hide.” Kaneki protested as he received an impromptu noogie. He had half a mind to just flip the investigator over his shoulder.

“Look at these big ol’ doe eyes!” The ghoul blinked one eye shut as Hide poked him near his temple. “So wide and wise yet weirdly innocent looking at the same time~”

“H-hey… I’m n-not – ” 

“That adorable flustered stutter, com’on Akira, you think someone this socially awkward is an evil mastermind?”

“O-oi….”

“See, even his pouty face is cute!” Hide declared exuberantly, pinching Kaneki on the cheek for good measure and resulting in an annoyed flinch.

“Hide… let Eye – I mean let the gh– the – erm, let him go.” Akira provided eloquently. Oh, what had her life become? 

“Not until you acknowledge my friend’s totally calm, perfectly _nonthreatening_ behavior!”

“Okay….” Akira held up her hands like she was trying to talk him down from some seriously life-threatening situation. “Just calm down, Hide.”

“ _You_ are the one that needs to calm down.”

“Hide… let me go.” 

“Nah.”

Annoyed, Kaneki tried to twist out of Hide’s grasp, resulting in a minor scuffle that ended with Hide having gained a much firmer hold on the ghoul, this time around his torso with his arms wrapped under his shoulders, forcing Kaneki’s arms straight out.

Wishing he could hide his increasingly red face and entirely too hungover for this bullshit, Kaneki stopped fighting it and started praying to several gods he didn’t believe in, that by some miracle he’d be saved from this humiliating predicament. He felt rather pathetic, being moved around like a puppet, but he couldn’t seem to put much of a fight into it with the blond woman’s calculating stare directed right at him. 

“See. He’s cool with this.” Hide informed his baffled coworker with a grin. 

“I am _not_ cool with this.” 

“Everything is fine. Tooootally fine.”

“No.”

“So are you ready to listen to me now?” Hide offered, ignoring Kaneki’s protests and directing his question to Akira.

The senior investigator never got a chance to respond, however, because suddenly, the door to :re was kicked violently open. 

“Uuuh.” Hide started, smile dropping from his face as he caught sight of the small raging female storming towards him with vengeance in her eyes. “Um – hey – wait – ”

Touka rolled up her right sleeve. “ _I fucking warned you_!”

 _Shit_ – note to self: _Beautiful But Angry_ punches with purpose.


	10. Crush

A fast, loud, persistent slapping noise echoed over several startled yells of varying pitch. The scratching sound of four metal legs scraping against concrete was barely audible in comparison. It suddenly stopped, a figure rising from a chair, the enthusiastic popping an unusual soundtrack playing happily in the background of the confrontation. Clapping.

One of the young men seated outside of :re was giving Touka a standing ovation. 

If Kaneki hadn’t been panicking, he might have laughed. 

Instead, he tried to wrap his mind around the situation. Hide was on the ground, clutching his nose, Touka standing over him and looking ready to “ _Kick some sense into him_ ” as she would later explain. 

The female investigator who had accompanied Hide was in a state of shock, green eyes bugging out, slack-jawed, hands clenching on the briefcases at each of her sides.

“ _Shitty fucking lousy meddlesome bitch-ass tool_!” 

“TOUKA! There are children here!” Kaneki exclaimed, snapping back to his senses as he watched an appalled mother cover her child’s ears, making a point to cross to the other side of the street. They’d already lost most of their customers of a ghoulish nature at the arrival of the two doves, but now they were losing most of their human customers as well. “Touka the kids!”

From the ground, Hide gave him a look. Kaneki could practically hear him thinking ‘ _Really?_ That’s _what you’re concerned about right now?_ ’. 

Touka aimed a kick for Hide’s side, a frustrated roar of “Disgusting jackass!” erupting from her lungs as Kaneki lunged forward to stop her, wrapping his arms around both of hers to trap them against her sides and dragging her away from the helpless inspector. 

“Touka, come on!”

“Gah! Shitty ‘Neki _I swear to fucking god_ let me go! I want to get another kick in on his stupid smug self-aggrandizing face!”

“Please just calm down! We should talk about this! Can’t we be rational?” Kaneki argued, having to exert a great deal of effort in keeping Touka restrained, as she was constantly twisting in his arms and had elbowed him in the gut more than once. Their battle dragged on, Kaneki eventually turning them towards :re so their backs were against the fallen dove. Unfortunately, this put his line of sight directly towards the front window of :re, where he discovered a laughing Yoriko standing with her phone held up. Paling, Kaneki realized she was filming them. 

“WHAT THE HELL YORIKO?!” Touka had apparently come to the same conclusion. 

Meanwhile, Akira deemed it safe enough to kneel down and help Hide to his feet, a comically blank expression on her face throughout the whole ordeal.

“U-um – heh, sorry about this.” Kaneki apologized, looking at the doves from over his shoulder, despite the kicking young woman yelling expletives from his arms.

Akira’s reply was a profound blink (okay, people have to blink sometimes, so it could have just been a normal blink?? But in Kaneki’s eyes it spoke volumes to her stoic exasperation).

Hide, now standing, was still clutching his nose, hand stained slightly red. _Damn_ , Touka knew how to punch. Kaneki should know, he was usually on the receiving end of her violent outbursts (though not as often as Nishiki these days).

“Okay… Kaneki… you can put me down now.”

“Are you going to be calm?”

“No…. But I can be... _less aggressive_.”

Eh, he’d take what he could get. With a bit of a sigh, he released Touka, who spent approximately three seconds smoothing out her apron before immediately whipping around to face her two unwanted guests, finger pointed and indigo eyes burning. Kaneki didn’t miss Hide’s flinch.

“Oi, you two, we’re taking this inside.”

Touka spun on her heel, storming through the front door and slamming it so hard that it shook in her wake.

“That wasn’t really… okay I guess it was a _little_ less aggressive.” Kaneki muttered under his breath, just loud enough for the doves to hear.

“Heh,” Hide chuckled nervously. “That girl really means what she – _ah_.” He trailed off, sucking in a sharp breath that caught Kaneki’s attention. 

“Hide! Are you alright? She didn’t break anything did she? _OhmygodI’msosorry_!”

Akira, still blankly dumbstruck, simply eyed Hide’s broken nose with a mild sense of jaded impatience.

“Eh, yeah but don’t worry dude! It’s not the first time I’ve broken my nose!” And with that, Hide merely grabbed his slowly bruising nose and sort of just… _snapped_ it back into place nonchalantly like this was a normal occurrence for a Tuesday evening.

Kaneki balked, startled to see a human behaving so casually about an injury. 

Akira, however, was completely unfazed and looked more annoyed than anything. “Okay, Hide, I’m glad you’ve alright but we should probably go inside before that… _girl_ … comes out breaks it again.”

“Yeah that’s… let’s go do that.”

The interior of the coffee shop had a warm, homey feeling, with dark wood paneled floors, a rounded glass display filled with fresh looking pastries, and the rich scent of coffee permeating the air. Hide had thought :re was nice the first time he’d been there, but had been more focused on finding ~~Eyepatch~~ Kaneki than admiring the shop’s soft, welcoming atmosphere.

As he stepped through the interior, he caught sight of a laughing Yoriko trying to wrestle her cell phone away from Kaneki’s fuming ghoul bff. Smiling fondly, he wondered how often things like this went down and how close the group was. They reminded him a bit of his friends at the CCG – tightknit, hardworking and sometimes cold, but when it came down to it, compassionate, boisterous, emotional, _human_.

Though, while Hide was overcome with a feeling of stalwart satisfaction, Akira was still standing rigid beside him, which he knew meant she was on high alert. It would probably take some time to convince her that these ghouls were harmless and didn’t need to be killed (especially after getting punched in the face) but he was sure that he could make her see, or at the very least guilt her in to not telling. Sure, Akira was cold on the outside, but Hide knew she had a weak spot for him. Was is wrong to exploit that? Probably. But hey, sometimes problems didn’t have a right answer. There was only the _less wrong_ one. So if Hide had to emotionally manipulate one of his closest friends in order to save a few innocents, then he supposed it had to be done. 

“Ah, _finally_.” Touka said, catching sight of the three people entering her shop, and abandoning her battle for Yoriko’s phone. “I thought you were going to stand there like dumbstruck idiots for the rest of the evening.” 

Disregarding Touka’s insult and Kaneki’s answering whine about how she needed to be nicer to people (heh, cute), Hide smiled and waved hello to Yoriko, who responded with her own wave and an enthusiastic welcome, at which point Touka stopped arguing with Kaneki and froze like she’s seen a ghost. 

“Don’t fucking talk to her.” 

“Oh, uh, sorry? I didn’t mean t – ”

“Shut up. We’re taking this upstairs. Follow me.”

Kaneki offered an apologetic smile as Touka then led them back through the kitchen, up the staircase, and down the hall towards the same sitting room Kaneki had taken him to during his first time visiting :re.

Now, Hide thought he pretty much had the group figured out. They were a small gang of ghouls who lived and worked together because of their shared (and very rare) philosophy that murder was wrong and they should survive off of suicide victims. They all probably had led very tough lives, but somehow banded together to become strong enough to live in peace. Because of their ideals, they were very unusual in the ghoul community. Hide was pretty sure that, after the initial shock of discovering that Eyepatch was more dork than deadly, and that some ghouls genuinely live their lives peacefully, there wasn’t much else that could happen that would surprise him.

Boy, was he wrong.

As Touka led them into the room and shouted “Oi, Shitty Nishiki I need you to start your shift early; I’ve got an infestation to deal with.”, Hide was pretty sure he went into cardiac arrest.

“ _NISHIO-SEMPAI_?!”

“What are you – _Nagachika_?”

Everybody froze, looking back and forth between Nishio and Hide uncertainly, seemingly equally surprised.

Hide was the first to break the silence. “You work _here_?” The implications were obvious. 

“Yes… what are you doing here?”

“Wait….” Kaneki cut in. “How do you two know each other?”

“We were friends in university. Hey, didn’t you say you went to Kamii too?”

“You went to Kamii?” Kaneki questioned. 

“Uh, yeah dude. But uh, sorry I’m still hung up on the fact that Nishio-sempai works here can we talk about that?” 

“Brat, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me sempai?” Nishiki huffed, crossing his arms and flopping back against the cushions of the couch.

“Hold up.” Touka had recovered from her temporary astonishment. “You _know_ this imprudent dove?”

“Yeah. Wait Kaneki, Nagachika is the investigator you’ve been helping?” 

“Um… yes? He uh… you _know each other_?”

“Guys this is so weird I don’t know what to do right now.” Hide admitted, running both of his hands up into his hair, eyes wide and staring down his old friend like the ghost of his past that he was. Did this mean Nishiki was a ghoul? It meant he was a ghoul, right? For all of college. And he’d known that Hide was a dove the whole time because of the accelerated program he’d been in. But he still was friends with him. Was Kimi a ghoul too? What the hell?

“What is going _ooooon_?” 

“You know what? This doesn’t matter. Nishiki go take my shift I’m going to deal with this.” Touka demanded, brushing off this minor lapse in her mission.

“What? No. You go back to work, I kind of want to find out how this happened.”

“Excuse me? I am your _boss_.”

“I don’t care – besides you’re too angry to deal with this right now. Go help your girlfriend. She’s the only one working right now.” 

Touka’s face went red. “She’s not my – ” 

“Whatever.”

“Fine. You deal with this. But I’m docking your pay.”

“Hey!”

Touka made a swift getaway, closing the door behind her before Nishiki could get in another word, leaving the room once again in an awkward silence (well, except for Nishio, who seemed oddly comfortable with this turn of events and was continuously looking between his old college friend and his half-ghoul leader like they were some new exciting chemistry equation he couldn’t wait to solve). 

“Alright, so what’s going on? You guys really pissed off Kirishima. Also what the hell happened to your face, Hide?” Nishiki started conversationally.

Kaneki took the message and lead Akira and Hide to the couches, taking a seat. “Touka punched him.” He offered as explanation.

“Damn. Kinda wish I got to see that.”

“Yoriko has a video.”

“Seriously? Hold on.” Nishiki took out his phone and presumably sent Yoriko a message asking for the video.

Hide pouted. “Aw come on, it’s not that funny.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to punch you in the face? It’s freaking _hilarious_. Also you’re still covered in blood.”

“I'll go get a washcloth.” Kaneki quickly volunteered, taking the opportunity to escape the uncomfortable situation. 

The whole group watched him go, until Hide decided to break the silence. 

“ _Soooo_ ,” He started, hyperaware of Akira’s silent presence beside him, but opting to focus on his more immediate problem. “you’ve been a ghoul for… how long exactly?” 

“Forever, nitwit.”

“Right… and Kimi?”

“Human.”

“Cool, cool…. So… how much does she know…?”

“All of it. We’ve been dating for like four years now, she was bound to figure it out eventually. Surprising you didn’t though, considering how often you crashed our dates and forced me to eat your disgusting human food. For a smart guy you can be pretty stupid sometimes.” 

“I, erm, yeah.” Hide sat back, dumbfounded. “I don’t know I guess… I guess I just never paid much attention to it? I just sort of figured you were human because you never really gave me a reason to think otherwise? Uh… man this is so weird. I’m sorry, it’s going to take me a while to wrap my mind around this. But um… I’m glad you’re one of the good ones. Congrats on eating suicide victims, I guess? Ahaha….”

Nishio snorted. “Congrats on not running around mindlessly killing ghouls like a righteous douchebag. Kimi always thought you had a good heart. Still wasn’t going to tell you I was a ghoul though.”

“That makes sense, I mean, I would have done the same thing if I were you.” Hide said, realizing that was probably true. He still wasn’t over his embarrassment, though. Several college memories kept flashing through his mind of times he’d gushed to Nishiki and Kimi about his ghoul studies classes or that one time Kimi looked _way_ too interested while he was explaining ghoul reproductive cycles.

 _Oh for crying out loud_. Hide wanted to slap himself (but no, his nose was still way too broken for that).

Nishiki, almost as if reading his train of thought, looked way too pleased with himself.

“So!” Hide cleared his throat. “How is Kimi?”

“She’s good. Medical school’s kicking her ass, though. You’ll probably run into her if you start hanging around here. How about Mei? You two still together?”

“Ah, no, we broke up ages ago.”

Nishiki hummed, but didn’t seem interested in questioning further. Luckily, before another weird silence could settle over the group, Kaneki returned carrying a wet washcloth and demanding that Hide lean his head back. 

Akira watched Eyepatch gently wipe the blood off of her partner’s face with a steadily growing sense of horror. Hide seemed so comfortable here, surrounded by _at least_ one SS-rated ghoul, letting said ghoul near his face without a second thought (He actually looked like he was enjoying it?). Sure, now that she really took the time to observe him, Eyepatch was the opposite of what she would have expected (small, surprisingly gentle, cute even), but what about his friends? Touka was clearly as unhappy about their situation as Akira was, which unfortunately had her feeling a bit of affinity towards the girl and her raging fists. As for Nishio, apparently he goes _way back_ with Hide, which at this point really shouldn’t surprise her. But they were still ghouls – all of them – and as such they couldn’t be treated as innocents. 

Besides, they certainly weren’t born into this “suicide victim eating” organization, so what about before they joined? How many people had Touka killed? Or Nishiki? Or Eyepatch? ~~Akira really wished she knew the other two’s aliases so she didn’t have to humanize them~~. There was no way they were as “innocent” as they claimed. At least not Eyepatch. She’d seen the wreckage of the ghoul restaurant massacre firsthand. He was a half-kakuja, maybe even a full one by now. He was _cruel_. 

He caught her eye, his own gray ones widening marginally in a panic and slipping up slightly, bumping Hide’s nose and causing him to hiss in pain.

“Ah! Sorry!” 

 “No, no it’s fine. But now that I’m thinking about it, this seems like kind of a waste of food. You wanna lick it clean?”

Eyepatch balked. “Ew, no. Hide, nobody wants your nose blood.”  

Akira’s eyes widened. Was that supposed to be _flirting_? _Was Hide flirting with Eyepatch_? Petrified, she caught the other ghoul’s eye, his expression somehow both delighted and sinister, like he’d just discovered something and was already planning out the best way to use it as blackmail.

Unfortunately, this only confirmed Akira’s fears.

“Am I clean?” Hide asked, tenderly touching his face when Eyepatch pulled away. 

“Erm, yup you’re good.” 

“Thanks Kaneki!”

“No problem.” He reclaimed his seat beside Nishio.

“So, sempai, how do you know Kaneki?” Hide started, moving on like nothing had happened and completely disregarding the horrified stare Akira was sending his way.

“Hm? Oh, the little twerp cluelessly wandered into my territory one day like a wayward stoner from the nineteen sixties.” Nishiki’s response was somewhat distant, his mind clearly on other things, a small smirk dangerously plastered to his face.  

“He tried to kill me.” Kaneki added.

“What? No, I tried to _scare you away_.”

“He attacked me.”

“Okay that was like four years ago I think we can forget about that. Let’s not forget you _actually_ almost killed me." 

“Touché.”

“Wait what? Are you going to end it on that? Come on I want to hear this story!” Hide complained.

“It’s not that interesting.”

“The story of you beating the crap out of Nishio-sempai not interesting my butt! It’s so bizarre that I _have_ to know how you became friends. And how you became friends with Touka – because how do I become friends with Touka?”

“We’ll let you know when we figure it out.”

“Speaking of how people became friends,” Nishiki butted in, eyes twinkling with something unidentifiable “I’m more curious about how you two met than anything. Not to mention how this little dweeb convinced you to not turn us in.”

Kaneki frowned. “I already _told_ you – ”

“Yeah but I want to hear it from Hide’s perspective. So?”

“Well I already knew what he looked like so I recognized him when I ran into him at the grocery store a few blocks away.”

“And what? You were just like, ‘oh cool a highly wanted ghoul better check his groceries, make sure he’s getting enough vegetables’.”

“I don’t know… he just _seemed_ nonthreatening." 

“Seriously?” Nishiki chuckled dryly. Akira was shaking her head.

“It was an impulse okay! Like, I wasn’t even sure it was him but I wanted to find out? And I had some questions, soooo.”

“You’re lucky Kaneki’s kind of a human-loving pushover or you’d have been so screwed.”

“Nishiki, you know I’m sitting right next to you, right?” 

“Yeah I know. So, Hide, what made you track him down again?”

“Um, I wanted some help on our case.”

“But surely there were other places you could have sought some help?”

“I don’t know, man. I figured since he’s already hunting down problem ghouls in the ward, he might not mind helping hunt down the Professor. What’s with all the questions all of a sudden? You usually don’t care about anything.”

Nishiki’s smile turned feral. Hide looked mildly startled. “I just think its… _fascinating_ …  how devoted you were to tracking down a guy who had pretty much answered all of your questions." 

“I said I wanted his help. I’m not sure what else you want me to say…?” Hide replied, eyeing his old friend with uncertainty.

 “Just wondering what you wanted with him.”

“Um – ”

“You must have thought about it a lot, you know, in order to track him down. That’s dedication. And I’m sure the Eyepatch case has been haunting the CCG for years. And I know how much you love hard cases. So, as good an investigator you are, I’m sure Eyepatch was one you _couldn’t wait_ to crack open.”

“W-well again, the Professor – ”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Akira finally cut in, commanding all attention by ending her observational silence and effectively taking control of the situation. This – _whatever it was –_ had gone on for long enough. She needed to cut it off before it escalated. She was starting to get embarrassed _for_ Hide, and Kaneki looked absolutely lost. “Maybe we can sit around exchanging pointless stories another time, but I think we have some bigger issues to discuss, don’t you agree?” 

Akira had clearly addressed Kaneki, who nodded in agreement and sat up straighter, both relieved that the conversation was moving on and suddenly feeling like he needed to don a much more formal composure.

“I don’t think I ever got your name, miss…?”

“Mado Akira.”

“Kaneki Ken. You’re Hide’s partner, right? It’s nice to meet you.” Eyepatch extended a hand towards her in greeting, and after a moment of hesitation, she took it.

“Nishiki Nishio.” Nishiki added, waving informally in greeting.

Akira nodded curtly, still not having formed a real opinion on the… interesting discoveries… that she had made over the course of this conversation but more than ready to wrap it up and get the hell out of there.

“Now that that’s out of the way, I feel like we need to get some things out on the table. Primarily, the fact that I don’t trust you. I trust Hideyoshi, but I don’t trust you.” She admitted, staring down Eyepatch with intense scrutinization.

“I understand.” Kaneki replied quietly, stormy eyes locked on hers and not at all resembling the nervous young man that had been anxiously scratching his cheek just moments before. _This_ was more like the Eyepatch as she might have imagined. “But, as I’m sure you’re aware, that puts us in a tight spot.” 

“Yes, I can see that. Based on the circumstances we really only have one viable option, though, don’t we?” 

Eyepatch nodded. “Temporary mutual trust.”

Akira had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat at the thought of putting her trust in a group of ghouls, but nodded notheless, seeing no alternative, especially if she wanted to leave this coffee shop alive. She had a feeling Hide would force her to keep her word as well. 

Almost as if he had been reading her mind, Kaneki began again. “I don’t mean to be rude, Mado-san, but frankly, we have much more to lose here than you do. Should we let you walk out of this store with your lives, we are risking a full-scale raid by the CCG. Now, I have already promised Hide that I won’t attack unless he gives me a reason to believe he will betray us. I am willing to aid in your investigations, so long as you’re able to offer me the same guarantee of safety, especially now that you know not only my face, but the faces of several of the ghouls employed here. Can you do that?”

Akira pressed her lips in a thin line. She could feel Hide’s tension beside her and silently cursed him for putting her in this situation. Unfortunately, it seemed she would have to trust the ghoul, at least for now. “I… I can. For the time being. However, I think we should reorganize sometime to fully discuss the terms of our agreement.”

 “Write out an informal contract, you mean?”

“Yes.” 

“I think that can be arranged.” 

“Good.” 

 

* * *

 

Later, the sky fading from orange to indigo, Hide and Akira sat once more in the safety of Akira’s car, seatbelts buckled, headlights on, and utter silence.

 Hide was tense once more – he couldn’t sense what Akira was thinking. She was staring blankly ahead, hands fixed on the wheel but making no effort to take the car out of park. It was like she was in some sort of trance, glassy eyed, slightly scowling. Hide braced himself for the worst, waiting for the yelling or some other lecture about how disappointed and angry she was, or some more theorizing about what they were going to do from here on out.

What he got was not what he was expecting.

 “Oh. My. God.” Akira wailed. “I finally figured out how all of this happened. It’s because you’re whipped and he’s oblivious.” 

Hide sputtered, face going red. “A-Akira!”

“I’m right though, aren’t I? And now that I’ve actually met him, it makes perfect sense.”

“N-no. No!”

“I’ve been wondering how you could possibly have decided it was a good idea to blindly approach an SS-rated ghoul. Now I understand. It’s because you weren’t thinking at all.” 

“ _Stooooop_.” Hide whined.

“It’s because he’s cute. I swear to god, Hide, I’ve seen you stab a ghoul’s eyes out with a pair of safety scissors and taunt and endless stream of our targets into a trap with a few clever words. You can be ruthless when you want to be, but the minute you see a kitten it’s like all of your training goes out the window.

“Nooooo.”

“The fact that he’s a ghoul only makes it worse.” Akira added after a thought. “You always want what you can’t have. This is like that time Seidou’s mom baked a cake and he refused to share it so you went out of your way to organize an undercover operation with some of the rookies to steal it.”

“Okay, first off, in my defense, if he wanted to eat it himself he shouldn’t have brought it to work. Secondly, this is nothing like that!”

“It is. You like to rebel. I can’t believe we’re starting one of the first ever human-ghoul alliances in history all because you’ve been thinking with your dick!” 

“Hey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a friend who one time broke his nose and then, very expressionlessly, just kind of snapped it back into place and continued on like nothing had happened. “Hospitals are for wimps” *rolling my eyes*. Anyways. So Hide did that.


	11. Daughter

Dr. Kobayashi thought human biology was exceptionally boring – a bundle of specialized cells and systems working together to create a basic form of life, just like every other living organism. And just like every other living organism, humans were undeniably, disconcertingly, _weak_. Each body system was fragile, any minor slip up could completely wreck it, whether it be a cluster of rapidly growing mutated cells, an incurable virus, or the body’s own overreacting immune response. It was pathetic. 

Humans were weak, fragile, lame. They were limited organisms, intelligent life forms, _yes_ , but incredibly frail of body nonetheless. Not at all like ghouls.

Ghouls were a fascinating species, wearing the skin of a human being but possessing entirely unique social laws and customs. Dr. Kobayashi longed to get his hands on one, to dissect and discover what makes a ghoul work, what was so different about their biology that allowed them to regenerate whole limbs, or rather, hide an entire extra appendage just in the skin on their back.

The CCG was going about things entirely wrong, Dr. Kobayashi thought. Instead of having their scientists research ghouls for the express purpose of discovering their weaknesses and disposing of the race, they should be experimenting to find ways to improve the human species. Perhaps they could cure diseases or find a way to temporarily and safely inject enough RC cells into a person to regenerate a hand or cure third degree burns without the danger of scarring. 

That’s why he’d followed his associate to the 15th ward. 

Here, with him offering to act as scapegoat as well as supplying his expertise in the exsanguination of others ( _What were a few uninspiring nurse wannabes to the world anyway?_ ) in exchange for the occasional ghoul body to study, he could conduct his research in peace and security.

The CCG no longer suspected him, and unless he gave them a reason to, they never would again.

Although, upon later reflection, Kobayashi would admit that perhaps the CCG wasn’t what he should have been most concerned about, as deeply ensnared in the ghoul world as he had become. 

“Pardon me, are you Professor Kuso Kobayashi?” A knock and subsequent head ducking into his office startled the young doctor of biology from the stack of exams he had been grading.

“Yes.” Kobayashi answered slowly, both unnerved and annoyed at the unexpected interruption. Voice laced with aggravated contempt, he asked “Do I know you?”

“Not yet.” The man fully entered the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. He was older than Kobayashi, and taller. His hair had gone completely white with age, and was slicked away from his face, revealing a gentle expression; soft brown eyes squinted slightly, and a warm, grandfatherly smile carved wrinkles onto his face.

Kobayashi scowled, pushing his glasses farther up onto his nose almost aggressively in his disdain. He never was the best at filtering his emotions.   

“ _Can I help you?_ ”

“I believe you can.” The man started, all the while looking around his office as if trying to decode information about his personality from the bland space. Kobayashi found it both rude and invasive. Finally, the man’s eyes once again settled on him. “I’m not usually one to make such visits, but my associates insisted that I was the one to come and talk to you. They believe we may have some things in common.”

Kobayashi scoffed, but continued to eye the intruder suspiciously. “What is this about? Which department are you from? Look, I’m really busy here so – ”

“No, no. I’m not with the university.” The intruder quickly informed him, foregoing the chairs placed in front of his desk and staying standing, almost as if to assert some sort of perceived superiority. Kobayashi’s scowl deepened. “Although, neither are you. Not really.” 

“What are you going on about? I – ”

“You’re working with Professor, correct?” 

Caught off guard, Kobayashi froze, pointer finger raised and mouth open like he was about to start one of his tirades. Setting his jaw, Kobayashi sat back in his seat. “The CCG again?” He guessed, trying to play it cool.

The older gentleman smiled sympathetically. “Not at all. My name is Akihiro Kanou. I’m here because my superior would like to speak with yours.” He pulled out a small business card, handing it to the confused professor. “The Tree has a proposition for him.”

 

* * *

 

Amon Koutarou had taken the news surprisingly well. 

Subtract some fish-like gaping and a few stuttered phrases of disbelief and you wouldn’t even know he’d been personally administered the shock of a lifetime. It was as if he’d been _expecting_ something like this to happen eventually, and was only really surprised by the _way_ in which the events he’d always subconsciously been hoping for had finally come to pass. 

And honestly, who wouldn’t be?

Amon Koutarou’s loyalty to the CCG was steadfast, but his sense of duty to his conscious was stronger. For the past three years, he’s been finding himself bending rules here and there, in order to satisfy the desires of his moral compass. He wasn’t exactly a model investigator, at least not anymore (not that the higher ups were aware of that fact).

Little by little, over the past three years Amon found himself letting more and more ghouls go – ghouls that he had no proof were killers, mind you, not the mindless animals that had made it their goal to kill as many people as possible. The children, and the ghouls that looked up at him with a sad expression of grim acceptance, those were the ones he let go. It was as if all of his academy training had been poorly erased, just enough so that the lines appeared blurry and smudged but still readable if he put in enough effort. There was a soft voice, echoing from the deep recesses of his mind, a ghostly guiding hand on his shoulder, a figure whispering moral truths at him during every investigation.

 _Are you_ sure _this ghoul is a killer?_

_Who are you to pass judgment?_

_Wouldn’t you do the same thing if you were in their shoes?_

Yes, even three years after his supposed “death” at the hands of Arima Kishou, Amon could not shake Eyepatch from the dark recesses of his memory. That hadn’t stopped him from working, though. The CCG was his life, had been from the moment he’d been found locked in the basement of a church, the blood of his fellow orphans staining the sleeves of his vestments. The CCG was his purpose, and with Eyepatch gone there was no longer anyone actively forcing him to question that purpose; not that that stopped him from constantly questioning himself. The damage had already been done.

But then, just as suddenly as he’d first burst into his life, Eyepatch was back. Only this time it was through the tales of Akira’s deceptively cheerful, disturbingly intuitive subordinate. Amon really should have been more surprised, but years of slogging through this tumultuous debacle called “life” had worn down the skepticism center of his brain, apparently, because when Akira and Nagachika had burst into his office to tell him their story, the only response he could muster was a contemplative “ _Huh. Well that’s strange_.”

Nagachika had been surprised for once, but didn’t really seem to care all that much about Amon’s rather apathetic reaction. Akira, on the other hand, was upset that he wasn’t upset. She had apparently been expecting him to mirror her own reaction. Frankly, Amon was surprised at himself for not freaking out at least a _little bit_ when he got the news.

The freak out didn’t come until later that night. He had to call Akira at 2am to get her to answer all of the questions that were suddenly impairing his ability to sleep.

Which brings him to today; his day off. 

He should be wearing his casual clothes and walking around the park near his apartment complex.

Instead he was dressed as formally as ever, standing stiffly in an abandoned office building next to the two people who had dragged him into this mess.

Nagachika was bright as ever, somehow immune to both Akira’s sour mood and Amon’s tense posture.

"Dang, Amon-san, loosen up. I thought you were _excited_ about this. Why do you look like a member of the Queen's Guard while an obnoxious tourist is poking him with a stick?"

Akira shot Hide a glare, far too frustrated to be amused by his antics at the moment. 

Amon, on the other hand, calmly replied "Well maybe you should stop poking me with a stick." to which Hide let out a bark of laughter. 

"No can do, Associate Special Class. Obnoxious is one of the five staples of my personality." 

Another silence settled over the group. 

"Don't you want to know the other four?"

"No - "

" - I'm glad you asked! They are Charming, Clever, Hilarious, and Handsome, obviously." 

"Hide, could you shut up for five minutes?"

"Handsome isn't even a personality trait." 

"Ah! But you aren't arguing it!" Hide countered, gleefully pointing a a finger and waggling it in Amon's face. 

"Would you knock it off?" Amon snapped, smacking the offending hand away. "Not all of us are as happy about this as you are." 

"I agree." Akira added stiffly. "This is a big deal, Hide, and you aren't taking it seriously." 

"You guys seriously need to relax. What are you even worried about?"

Akira and Amon shared a look. 

"We could get ambushed - "

" - Eyepatch could turn on us - "

" - Our employers could find out - "

" - Other ghouls could catch on - "

" - We're technically committing treason - "

" - We could go to prison - "

" - Or get eaten alive - "

" - Eyepatch's _friends_ might go against his orders - "

" - We have to keep this secret from basically everyone we know - "

" - Coworkers - "

" - Superiors - "

" - What if Shinohara finds out?"

" - What if - "

"Okay! I get it, geez." Hide cut them off, waving a hand dismissively. "Yeah a lot could go wrong. But moping about it isn't going to change the situation. It'll only put Eyepatch more on edge and the more hesitant you are to accept him as an ally, them more hesitant he'll be to accept us. Because he has the same exact worries. Still, there have been countless opportunities for him, _or any of his friends_ , to turn on us and they haven't. If he really wanted us dead, Akira, we wouldn't have made it out of :re alive the other day. Besides, nothing's finalized. That's why we're here today, isn't it?"

"Yes but - "

"Guy, seriously. _Relax_. When Kaneki finally shows up, if you don't treat him with trust or respect, he won't treat you with trust or respect either. It's basic psychology. Don't make a self-fulfilling prophecy. Lose the stigma." 

"Hide." 

"Akira." 

The brief stare down only lasted a moment before Akira shook her head and looked away. She understood Hide's point of view, but there was a difference between _understanding_ and _accepting_. She was not happy with the situation she'd been thrown into, but she was trying to make the best of it. Even if it took her a while to warm up. She supposed she could do it for Hide and Amon, though just _what_ her boys saw in this ghoul she would never understand. 

"When did you get so intelligent?"

"Uh, just because I'm so disarmingly charismatic doesn't mean I can't be smart too."

"And full of yourself, geez."

Hide laughed, and despite herself, Akira cracked a smile. 

Still, the situation remained somewhat tense. 

They had agreed to meet Kaneki away from :re for the sake of preserving the identities of the other ghouls that worked there, at least until they had written up a solid contract. And because Akira had insisted on including Amon, due to his odd history with the Eyepatch ghoul ( ~~she still refused to call him by his name~~ ). 

That was why they stood bickering in the middle of a run down office building, awaiting the arrival of the fourth member of the meeting. Hide had informed Kaneki ahead of time about the additional dove they would be including in their agreement (re. Amon) and Kaneki had agreed to write up a formal document. Both Akira and Amon had been temporarily impressed by his apparent ability to read until Hide kindly informed them that Kaneki had also attended Kamii, along with Hide's friend Nishiki, both ghouls. 

The doves had arrived an hour early, on Akira's orders, so that they could survey the perimeter and make sure they weren't going to be ambushed. Though Hide had initially argued against such ridiculous precautions (again, if the :re ghouls wanted them dead, Hide was pretty damn sure they'd already be dead), he went along with it for the sake of his partner. 

"UuuuuggGH is it almost time yet?" Hide complained after another few minutes of silence. He seriously couldn't stand this. 

"About ten more minutes before we agreed to meet." Akira reminded him stoically, checking her watch. 

"I'm SO BORED."

Hide was about to suggest they pass the time with some combat training exercises (which probably would have made Amon proud) when a soft voice called out, "Sorry to keep you waiting. I thought we weren't meeting until seven. I would have come earlier."

Both Amon and Hide jumped a little, the latter whipping around and shouting at the ghoul currently sitting perched on the fourth floor windowsill. " _Shit_ \- Kaneki you scared me. How long have you been there? Also when did you turn into Spiderman?"

The ghoul blinked and then shrugged, before gracefully hopping into the room, a dark messenger bag slung across his shoulder. 

It seemed, like his counterparts at the CCG, Kaneki had also taken the liberty of dressing up for the occasion, although his attire was much simpler than that of the doves. He was wearing a plain white button down, black dress pants, and, oddly, his mask. Maybe he wanted to keep his face hidden, knowing Amon was still there, or was worried they would call for backup. Or maybe it was an identity thing. Whatever the reason, Hide didn't really care. The odd combination of clothes somehow suited the ghoul. It was like he was saying ' _yeah I eat people, but that doesn't mean I can't still be professional about it'._  

Hide snickered at the thought. 

Kaneki raised his visible eyebrow at him, casually dropping his bag onto one of the dusty old desks littered about the space. "Laughing at me?"

"Absolutely." 

Kaneki made a noise, his voice somewhat muffled by the material of his mask. " _Hmph_. That's rude. And not a great way to start a meeting. I can see why you didn't go into business."

"You're calling _me_ rude? You shouldn't insult the people you're writing up a contract with. Also you just walked in through a window so...." 

"Well you shouldn't laugh at them either."  

"Touché."

"Could we move on?" Akira interjected, shooting Hide an exasperated look. "I apologize but I'd like to keep this as brief and professional as possible." 

"Of course." Kaneki nodded immediately, gesturing for the doves to pull up a few chairs and grabbing one for himself. He seemed a bit startled by Akira's clipped tone, obviously misattributing it to her possible disliking of him personally, and not to her agitation with Hide's poor attempts at flirtation. 

As he leaned over to trifle through his messenger bag, Hide shot Akira an annoyed look.

Amon glanced back and forth between the two partners with confusion. However, before he could comment on the strange tension that had risen between the two in a matter of seconds, Kaneki found what he was looking for and began silently distributing his written contract. 

The doves all began to read through it, leaving the only ghoul uncomfortably alone with his thoughts. Kaneki struggled to maintain his aura of calm, fingers itching to tap against the desktop, or fiddle with the sleeves of his shirt, or crack a few knuckles. It had taken a lot of time to convince his friends at :re to let him go to this meeting at all, let alone by himself ( _except strangely Nishiki, who somehow was already friends with Hide??? Kaneki didn't have the nerve to ask and was frankly kind of afraid of the way he'd been speaking to him lately, his voice void of his usual indifference and laced with the weirdest mix of taunting and intrigued. Kaneki did not like it_ ). However, after the incident at Helter Skelter Kaneki was certain he could trust Hide. After all, Hide had every opportunity to off him while he was blacked out but he didn't (instead he'd drawn all over his face?? He'd have to ask what happened that night eventually). According to Touka, he'd actually helped Kaneki get home, so, it wasn't _too_ much of a risk. Trusting him, that is. 

Still, Kaneki had to ask himself why he'd so readily agreed to this. Sure, Hide had kind of forced his hand by tracking him down and demanding that he become his informant, but Kaneki still could have tried harder to get out of their deal. 

And weirdly, a part of him didn't want to?

His emotions were a foreign realm he didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. He thought it'd be best not to think too deeply on things. 

Finally, after what felt like ages of sitting in discomfort with only the occasional turning of a page to break the silence, Akira spoke up. 

Unfortunately, the first words out of her mouth were " _No way in hell_." 

Ah, so she'd gotten to _that_ part. He was wondering how well they would take it. 

Amon cleared his throat, also seeming uncomfortable. "I'm not sure we can meet your demands. Not only do some members of our group hold... personal grudges against some of the ghouls you've listed here, but it would be incredibly difficult for us to hold off an entire investigation without raising suspicion."  

"There's no way I'm going to shield The Rabbit." Akira reaffirmed, eyes blazing.

Kaneki had included all of their demands in the contract, stating that he would agree to help in the investigation of the Professor and provide information on future problem ghouls in the ward should he deem their actions reprehensible. However, he had countered with a list of ghouls they would not be allowed to investigate, and would be required to inform him should an investigation be opened by another group of doves. 

The list was composed heavily of S to SS rated ghouls, all of them highly wanted. Black Dog, Gourmet, Serpent, Yotsume, Raven, _Rabbit_. 

Kaneki had anticipated such a reaction, but to him the protection of his family was non-negotiable. He swallowed, shifting his eye from investigator to investigator, all of whom seemed to be awaiting his response. Akira was visibly seething, eyes narrowed, mouth pressed in a thin line. Hide looked uncomfortable, shifting awkwardly in his seat between his two superiors. Amon was considerably calmer, though he still seemed unhappy at the prospect of protecting a ghoul who had killed many of his friends and coworkers. Yet, there was a strange gleam in his eye, an expectation. He was waiting for Kaneki to change his mind. 

Briefly, Kaneki recalled his first conversation with Hide and how the investigator had insisted he'd gotten through to Amon without realizing it. It appeared Hide was right about that. He could see it in the way the dove looked at him. Amon was giving him a chance - a chance to explain all of his previous actions, to explain why ghouls weren't the only ones messing up the world, to grab him by the shoulders and _show him_ that the CCG wasn't always right. 

Returning his gaze to Akira, Kaneki cleared his throat. "I'm afraid this is non-negotiable. I am putting myself and my friends in harms way to help you. The least you could do is offer us some semblance of protection." 

" _Protect the ghoul that killed my father?_ " Akira shot back immediately. "I don't think so." 

"Then the deal is off."

Kaneki began to stand, startling both Hide and Amon. 

"Kaneki - wait." 

"Hang on a second, Eyepatch." 

Kaneki paused, tapping his copy of the contract impatiently against the wood of the desk. _I'm waiting...._

Amon swallowed. "Look, what Akira means to say is that it's a little much to ask us to just... completely forget about everything the Rabbit did. Some of the ghouls on your list they... they're bad." 

" _Bad_?"

"H-he didn't mean that!" Hide swooped in, saving a fumbling Amon from responding. "He just means to say that they have a bit of a track record with the CCG, and therefore it might be somewhat difficult to immediately accept them as allies." 

"No that's not what he meant. Stop sugar-coating the world, Hide." Akira snapped, angrier than Hide had ever seen her. She sharply locked eyes with Kaneki again, standing slowly to mirror his position. "He meant bad. Evil. Monsters. The Gourmet was associated with the Ghoul Restaurants for years. Do you remember that? I sure hope you do, considering you single-handely wiped out the one in the 7th ward for kicks. The Black Dog and Devil Ape, I thought they were dead. They're still alive too? You want us to defend a bunch of ghouls like them? Ghouls responsible for reigning terror on the 20th ward for years - _years_ \- Eyepatch, unpredictably clashing with one another and wrecking havoc on the civilian population. And the Rabbit? The Rabbit wiped out the only remaining family I had. How many parents has it stolen? How many families ripped apart for the sake of violence? Let me tell you - "

"No. Let _me_ tell _you_ a story, investigator." Kaneki felt his ghoul eye turning - it always happened when his emotions got the best of him, especially when he was angry. The investigators seemed to notice his change in demeanor as well, visibly tensing and leaning away as if he might lash out at them with violence. 

"When I was eighteen years old, I met the ghouls of Anteiku. Devil Ape, Rabbit, the first Owl, et cetera. Like many ghouls, they all had bloody pasts. They'd had to kill to survive, and may have even grown so accustomed to it that human life became nearly meaningless to them. Unlike many ghouls, they had looked back on their past behaviors, noticed a trend that they did not like, and actively made an effort to change. Were they murderers? At the time, yes, but what choice did they have?"

Akira cut in. "That's beside the point - "

" _I'm not finished_." Kaneki silenced, shooting her a cutting, red-eyed glare. Akira pursed her lips, but backed down nonetheless. Setting his jaw, Kaneki continued. "I began working with them, and occasionally visiting some of the sights where we collected the bodies of people who had completed suicide. The ghouls at Anteiku, gruesome as their pasts had been, revoked their voracious ways, and advocated for cross-species peace. I can accept your hesitation to forgive such ghouls for the crimes they have committed, but don't _insult us_ by acting like you aren't also to blame." 

Kaneki's eyes cut suddenly to Amon, gaze burning with all of the anger he'd been repressing for years. "One day, I met two ghouls, a mother and a young girl whose father had recently been killed by a dove. Before he died, the girl's father had been providing food for her and her mother. After his death, they turned to Anteiku. The girl - my friend - has never killed a human in her life. _Never_. To this day, her hands remain blood-free. Still, you hunted her. Why? It wasn't because she was linked to human murders, that's for sure. 

"One day, your investigators caught them on the street. The mother - Fueguchi - told her daughter to run. I'm sure you remember that, Amon-san." 

Amon made an affirmative noise, face pale. 

"What you won't remember - or rather didn't know - is that the daughter came back. After she had escaped you and Miss Mado's father she went running for help. I happened to be walking by. We made it back just in time to watch Ms. Fueguchi beheaded. I barely covered her eyes in time."

Kaneki paused, surveying the disturbed expressions of the doves before moving on. "A few days later, Rabbit, in a fit of rage, killed one of your colleagues who had assisted in the death of Mrs. Fueguchi. I later asked her why, and this is what she told me. 'It's okay when a murderer like me dies, but when an innocent like Ryoko is killed - that is unacceptable'. She lashed out because she was sad and angry to have someone she cared for suddenly taken away. Isn't that the same with you? Don't you do the exact same thing every time you kill a ghoul?"

"Ghouls kill people every day - "

" _Not_ Ryoko. _Not_ her daughter. Why is it so hard for you to accept that some ghouls don't want to be killers?" 

The icy stare Kaneki sent was enough to shut Akira up once more. The woman composed herself, hesitantly sitting back down in her chair as if to signal for him to continue. Kaneki took the opportunity. 

"Your father was a smart man. He linked Daughter Ghoul and the Rabbit and planned to use a little girl as a means to catch her. He mutilated Mrs. Fueguchi's body, stuffed it in a duffle bag, and used her daughter's superior sense of smell to lure her into a trap. It worked, but fortunately Rabbit and I went out searching for her, and found her barely in time. The investigator - your father Akira-san - lost to my friend Rabbit while Amon-san lost to me.

"That night, neither of us acted with the intention of harming a human. Neither of us desired to hunt, to kill, or even to seek revenge. We acted only to protect our family, _not_ to harm yours. Daughter Ghoul has still never killed a human, and does not wish for revenge. She lost both of her parents in a matter of months, completely out of the blue, with little provocation. She was lucky she had the ghouls at Anteiku to fall back on. Otherwise, she might have had to turn to killing to survive, like many of the other ghouls on that list. 

"Everyone has a story. I'm sure each of you have one too, don't you? You didn't just decide to become ghoul investigators for no reason. Well, we didn't decide to become killers for no reason either. Sometimes the world breaks us. I don't expect you to forgive Rabbit, or me, or any of the ghouls on that list. I don't expect you to accept us as your friends. But I expect you to understand that sometimes extreme circumstances can force even the best of people to act in ways which would normally be considered "wrong". That goes for both humans _and_ ghouls." 

Kaneki could feel his heart racing, though with the conclusion of his speech his anger was temporarily sated. 

The investigators were silent, apparently taking a moment to absorb the story. Kaneki couldn't say he blamed them - he'd thrown a lot of information at them in a short period of time.

Hide seemed to have taken it the best, eyelids lowered a bit in sympathy, a small encouraging smile on his face. Then again, Kaneki hadn't really directed his outburst at him, but rather his two hesitant associates. 

Amon had looked a little sad for a while, but by the end of Kaneki's speech, his expression had morphed into one of satisfaction. It was almost as if he'd come into this anticipating to get lectured on the wrongness of the world and was delighted to find his predictions come true. 

Akira, on the other hand, still looked somewhat upset. Her mind had not been changed, at least not yet. Though, she was was no longer making any attempts to argue with him, and Kaneki would take what he could get. 

He could only hope he had set the foundation that would ultimately lead to her acceptance of ghouls as nothing more than unfortunate humans. Maybe one day they'd laugh about this. 

Amon broke the silence with a small chuckle, startling pretty much everyone. 

"Where do I sign?"

 


	12. Friends

_Re: really was a nice little shop_ , Hide couldn’t help but think, inhaling a deep breath of coffee-scented air and scanning the crowd of happy customers with a warm feeling of satisfaction. He could get used to this. Sure, the CCG had kind of been his saving grace as an adolescent, but there the atmosphere was tense, and a little cold. Hide was generally well-liked around the office, but he had his fair share of enemies there as well – people fighting for the next promotion or obsessing over a single ghoul they _had to eliminate_ as revenge.  Strangely, :re was exactly the same, and entirely different simultaneously. It held the same feeling of community, but closer somehow, more like family, and without the sense of competition. And while Hide wasn’t exactly welcome there, he couldn’t stop himself from starting to think of the place as home.

“Good morning, Touka-chan, you look lovely as ever.” Hide saluted, walking towards the back with a hand raised in greeting. 

“I will castrate you.” The young woman responded with a blank face, intentionally bumping into him as she elegantly flipped her bangs to the side and skipped around him to serve a couple seated near the front window. 

Yeah, Hide could get used to this.

* * *

“Hey Kaneki!”

“Hide? You’re here early.” Kaneki replied from where he was curled up in an armchair, knees pressed to his chest. He quickly unfolded, however, bringing his feet to the floor as he bookmarked his page and set both his novel and reading glasses down on the end table beside him. “Let’s get started, then.”

“Wow straight to business, huh? Looks like Kaneki doesn’t mess around.” Hide teased, hands folded behind his back and head tilted to the side. He followed Kaneki to the break room’s table with a dopey grin and a hop in his step.

Kaneki just shook his head, but Hide didn’t miss the fond smile playing at the ghoul’s lips as he turned away. He was really warming up to him – Hide could tell. It made his smile all the brighter.

“Alright,” Kaneki started, pouring two cups of coffee from the pot along the counter and taking a seat. “So what are our leads?” 

“I don’t know. We’re kind of lacking in the suspect department currently but Akira has a feeling that Professor might be one of Yoriko’s friends. Still, we might need to do some more research before we can make a move. And also that would really suck for Yoriko, so we should probably work fast. Is she here today? It’d be great to speak with her.” 

“Actually today is one of her off days – she primarily works weekends because of school so…. But I’m sure she’d be happy to talk to you about it, though you might piss off Touka-chan in the process.”

“Eh, you win some you lose some.” Hide shrugged. “Besides, I think Touka is starting to hate me slightly less.” 

Kaneki raised his eyebrows. “What gives you that idea?”

“She didn’t threaten me with murder today – only bodily mutilation!”

Kaneki snorted. “Oh yeah, so much progress you’ve made there.”

“Mhm, our friendship is surely one that will last a lifetime.”  

Smiling, Kaneki waved a hand dismissively, as if trying to conduct their conversation like an orchestra and signaling for the commencement of the next movement. “Okay, okay, let’s move on. So what else do you have?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know, I just thought you had more information when we spoke last. Like… have you and Akira come up with a plan for how we would confront Yoriko’s friend if he _is_ Professor? And how do you want me to help?” 

“I don’t know. Haven’t really gotten there yet.” 

“I thought you already _had_ a plan.” 

“What, I have to do all the work?”

“Well I’m not getting paid for this and it’s kind of your job.”

“If you wanted money you should have asked for compensation in the contract, ‘Neki. As it is, you're kind of legally bound to help me now and totally for free so, point Hide I'd say.”

Kaneki scoffed. "You realize that contract was entirely pointless, right? I mean ghouls technically have no legal rights so even if it was signed by all parties and notarized, which it wasn't, the fact that I'm a ghoul would render it null the minute a court - "

"One, you're overthinking this. Two, make that Hide, 2: Kaneki, 0." 

"Why do you get a point for that?"

"For winning by default in an imaginary contract dispute, obviously." 

"You're forgetting the part where you imaginary _go to jail anyway_." 

"I'll imaginary escape so it's okay."

"No." 

"I'll spend years tunneling my way through the walls with a rock hammer, meticulously planning until the day everything falls into place. That's when I'll make my escape and hop on a fishing boat to America."

"No, Hide - "

"It will be glorious." 

"Hi-"

"GLORIOIUS." 

"This argument is entirely pointless." Kaneki declared, crumpling a piece of paper and throwing it at Hide's face. It bonked off his forehead and into Hide's mug. "You are an absurd human." The blond put on his best ' _mourning over ruined coffee_ ' face, pouting at the ghoul. Kaneki ignored him. "How did we even get so derailed?" 

"You were being salty because you're not getting paid. But hey, it's not really too late for that. I'm sure you could still probably convince me somehow." 

Kaneki shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous." 

"I'm not. I'm being economic. _For you_. Because clearly this money thing is a real issue for you. Just trying to be a good friend here." 

"Hide, I was _joking_. I already have a job. I don't need your money." Kaneki argued, slowly growing exasperated with Hide's weird fixation on his _one comment_. 

"You forget how perceptive I am 'Neki. I read _between the lines_. The lines are telling me your joke is nothing but a veneer to cover up all that salt." 

"Stop that." 

"Again, I'm offering to reopen the contract. Once in a lifetime opportunity here, dude."

Kaneki dropped his head onto the table in defeat, his whining voice caged between his arms and the wooden tabletop. "I just wanted to make a plan and finish my book. Why are you doing this to meeee?"

Hide, looking rather smug and on the verge of opening his mouth to retort something intentionally suggestive, was suddenly cut off when an apathetic voice interjected: “Hide, stop trying to be Kaneki’s sugar daddy; he already has one.”

Kaneki's head shot up from where it was hiding beneath his arms. Jaw dropped and looking a bit too startled to be embarrassed, he stuttered. “N-no, I – would you guys stop calling him that!?”

Hide swiveled on his seat, only slightly thrown off. “Nishiki? How long have you been standing there?”

“Couple minutes at least." Nishiki said in a mildly bored tone, glancing at his watch. "I’m taking over for Hinami soon so I was going to relax here in the break room for a few minutes but I doubt  _anyone_ could relax with so much of this nauseating tension in the air.”

“Tension?” Kaneki asked owlishly. 

“Yes. Tension.”

“No, Nishiki we were only kidding. I’m not _actually_  upset with him.”  Kaneki felt the need to explain.

“Jesus Christ.” Hide said, his cheek resting on his hand while he shook his head in affectionate disbelief. 

“What?”

"Don't worry about it." Nishiki said, waving a hand in annoyance and making his way over to the couch before flopping down carelessly. "Aren't you two supposed to be working on a case? The Doctor ghoul or whatever?"

"Professor." 

"That's a stupid fucking name." 

Hide shrugged. "Yeah."

"Nishiki has a point, Hide." Kaneki interjected, straightening in his chair and once again donning a businesslike composure. Though, his serious look lost some of it's effect due to the ridiculously oversized sweater he was wearing (seriously, Hide was starting to think he had an addiction to them or something), and the patch of white hair that was sticking up in the back from where he'd rested his head against the armchair while he was reading. 

Hide decided not to comment on that. "What? That Professor is a dumb name? I agreed with him." 

"No, not that. You came over to _work_. We should be _working_." 

"Don't worry I've been thinking the entire time we've been bickering. And you know what? I think I've got it. I'll just go undercover again." Hide suggested, though judging by Kaneki's slight head tilt and slowly narrowing eyes, the ghoul did not believe him in the slightest. Hide's slowly growing shit-eating grin must have given him away. 

Still, Kaneki prompted him. "...Go on."

"Alright. Hear me out. We currently only have one suspect and he already knows what I look like. So. All I have to do is learn everything about him from Yoriko to figure out the best situation in which to get to know him, stalk him for a little while, ya know, the usual, and collect enough evidence to incriminate him. But first, I'll have to come up with a new disguise. I'm thinking foreign exchange student. With a terrible secret. Okay - _okay_ \- _no, shh, don't interrupt me_  - this is critical information. The story is _everything_ , Kaneki. The story is the delicate foundation carefully crafted on which the essence of my fake personality resides. In other words, it's very freaking important. So I'm a foreign exchange student from America but secretly I'm -"

" - Secretly, _you're a dove -_ " 

" _Shh_! Secretly, I'm a world-renowned heart surgeon that had to abruptly free the country because a very dangerous man was brought to me to be operated on and in order to save the world from his treacherous ways I made the morally dubious decision to mess up on purpose and he died. Then I was getting death threats from from the mafia so I moved to Japan to assume an alternate identity. They never found me."

"Hide," Kaneki sighed, shaking his head despite the hint of amusement in his eyes. "What is it with your fascination with these implicitly nonsensical english-language based characters? Really, I feel like if you actually attempted to pull something like that off you'd be caught practically instantaneously. And, just, where did this even come from in your brain?"

"I did major in English in college, you know. Plus, I think some people tend to be thrown off by _just_ the right amount of comic absurdity." Hide explained.

From where he was flipping through a magazine on the couch, Nishiki interjected again. "Is that what you tell people to make yourself feel better about acting like a buffoon in public?"

"It's what I tell people to educate them on all the practical uses of my socratic irony." 

"There's nothing ironic about you. You're literally the _single_ most unashamedly genuine shithead I've had the displeasure of getting to know. Except you're not genuine at all. You lie all the time it's like a hobby for you except you're really bad at it and simultaneously really good at it and it makes me want to stab my brains out with my own kagune. I hate your deceptively peppy mind games - go take that bullshit somewhere else. And Kaneki, don't listen to a thing he says he's crazier than any ghoul I've ever met but less in a ' _cannibalistic sociopath_ ' kind of way and more in at ' _I'm going psychologically annihilate you with clever stupidity_ ' kind of way." 

"Killing with kindness, Nishiki." 

"It's not kind it's creepy and idiot and would you _please_ _stop smiling at me like that?_ "

"Haha! No." Hide snickered, voice almost obnoxiously merry and the devious look in his light brown eyes contradicting his smile. 

"So," Kaneki said, genuinely smiling (not quite as brightly as when he was drunk but still brighter than Hide had ever seen him sober so he would take that as a win). "...our plan?"

"We already have a plan." 

"Hide, we aren't using your dumb - "

" - _comically absurd_  - "

" - plan and you know it; so can we just -"

Hide then abruptly broke into character, speaking in intentionally broken English. “My big secret? I kill Yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!”

Nishiki chucked his magazine at Hide, hitting him on the shoulder. “Stop watching English television.”

“No, it’s an American sit-com.”

“What’s the difference?”

“What?”

Kaneki blinked, interjecting “Hide what was that about the Yakuza?”

“What?”

“Fucking _whatever_.” Nishiki grumbled. “I think I’ve hit my ‘Hide’s bullshit’ limit for the day. I’m going to go start my shift early.”

“Aw but Nishio-sempai don’t you want to hang out with me? _Broooo_ it's been like two years since I've see you we gotta catch up. When's your next date with Kimi I am one hundred percent crashing only this time you don't have to eat human food. Side note, I think we should go to the next festival celebrating Japan's culinary finesse.”

“You are an asshole. And I’d rather let Tsukiyama pick out my clothes for a month. Than do anything with you.”

“I don’t know who that is.” Hide deadpanned. “But I feel like I should be offended.”

“Good.”

Without another word, Nishio made his way over to the door and closed it with a _thud_. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, Kaneki laughed and stood up, rousing Hide from his insidious thoughts on how to annoy Nishiki into spilling all his secrets and also maybe into telling him more about Kaneki. Not that he was obsessed or anything.

Uh. 

"Alright," Kaneki started, briefly pausing to stretch as he stood, pleasant grin still glued to his face. "Well, we've accomplished _nothing_. I think, maybe, the best move would be for you to interview Yoriko and come back once you have more information."

"Aw, Kaneki. First Nishiki now you? Don't you want to hang out with me?" Hide pouted, following Kaneki's lead and standing, but also taking the opportunity to invade Kaneki's personal space by draping himself over his shoulders and going limp, effectively forcing the startled ghoul to support all of his weight. 

"B-but you're here to work?" Kaneki squeaked, taken aback. 

"Kinda thought we were friends too." 

Kaneki laughed, cheeks a little pink as he unwrapped Hide's arms and shoved him off. Hide stumbled slightly, sulking. 

"Are all friends this clingy?"

"That depends. How many friends do you have?"

"Not many." 

"Then yes. Yes, they are." 

Kaneki laughed again and Hide swore the sound was like music to his ears. Being around Kaneki was terribly addictive, and Hide found himself craving their interactions more and more after ever time he saw him. They'd only met on six or seven occasions and Kaneki was already one of his Most Important People. And Hide knew it was wrong, well not _wrong_ per se, but definitely not  _appropriate_ to have developed such overwhelmingly adamant feelings for a ghoul. Not to mention Hide's _other_ Most Important Person had already voiced her unyielding distaste for her partner's recent, uh, interests. 

He was so boned. 

"I think Yoriko has lunch soon so you might be able to catch her on campus if you hurry." 

"Good idea! I can come back after so we can finish planning. You're the best, Kaneki! Anyway, later." 

"Ah, um. Okay. Bye?"

Hide was already out the door. 

* * *

"So what do you think? Not as good as :re's, right?" Yoriko asked, bringing her cup up to her lips almost as if to hide her friendly smile as she watched Hide from the corners of her hazel eyes. 

Before he'd run out of :re, Hide had somehow managed to harass Touka into giving him Yoriko's number. It probably would have been easier to have asked Kaneki instead, but what was the fun in that? Besides, Hide kinda liked to test people's boundaries. He found that if he managed to figure them out and then continually barely manage to not cross them, they reluctantly started to like him against their will. 

He was hoping that would happen with Touka, but only time would tell. At least Yoriko seemed to like him. 

"I don't think any place could beat :re when it comes to coffee. Though, truthfully, _any_ coffee is too bitter for me without, like, three sugars at least." 

Yoriko giggled, falling into step beside him. "Did you come all the way down to campus to talk about coffee?" She inquired pleasantly. 

"Nope! Mind if we sit for a few minutes?" Hide asked, gesturing towards an empty table at one of the university's outdoor seating areas.

"Not at all." 

Hide followed Yoriko's lead, sitting down across from her and taking a moment to look around, admiring the warm weather and happy chatter of students as they passed on their way to class. The school was nice, not as nice as Kamii, in Hide's opinion, but still a good school. Minus the ghoul problem, that was. 

"So what did you want to talk about, _Mr. Akimoto-san_?" Yoriko teased, bringing him out of his reverie. 

Hide turned back to her, sputtering over his own foolishness as he realized he'd never _actually_ introduced himself to her. "Actually, my name is - "

Yoriko's warm laugh cut him off. "No, I know. It's Hide right? Don't worry, I'm pretty much caught up on the whole situation. Touka's been talking my ear off about you."

"Really?" Hide had to raise his eyebrows at that. 

"Yeah." The girl's smile grew playful. "Trust me, she's told me all about 'the pervy dove that's head over dick for Kaneki'. Her words not mine." 

He groaned, dropping his head onto the table with a thunk, barely managing to miss his coffee. So Nishiki told everyone. That's great. 

He muttered a few curses to Nishio under his breath.

Strangely, Yoriko didn't laugh at him. Instead, when he picked his head up again, he found her smiling at him with sympathy in her eyes. Somehow, Hide thought that was worse than if she'd been laughing. Laughter he could handle. He was used to being the butt of the joke, thrived on it even. Humor was his coping mechanism; it meant everything was fine. Sympathy meant he was screwed and everyone else knew it too. 

Yoriko seemed to catch on to his souring mood. "Hey, don't worry about it. Personally, I don't think Kaneki's figured it out yet and that's what matters, right?" She fidgeted, spinning her latte from one hand to the other. "And don't worry about me. Everyone at :re will probably tease you mercilessly, but I won't. I know how rough it can be. Pining after a ghoul." 

"Ah." Hide felt a bit of warmth rising to his cheeks and thanked genetics for his tan. It made blushing less noticeable. "So... which of our ghoul buddies are _you_ carrying a torch for?"

"Actually, I'm dating Touka-chan." 

"Oh, wow, really? She's - "

"- intense, I know. But she's been through a lot and she's... tough, you know? When we were in school I always found myself wanting to be more like that, like her. I guess at some point the lines blurred and childlike admiration turned into... whatever it is that we have."

"I was going to say she's beautiful." Hide laughed. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that Yoriko had so quickly rushed to Touka's defense, considering how often the waitress seemed to be badmouthing him. And she did have a rather abrasive personality. Fierce. Passionate. She was like a more emotive, younger version of Akira. Plus ghoul powers and an impressively derogatory vocabulary. 

"Oh." Yoriko looked down, seeming to be embarrassed despite the small smile on her face. "Yeah, she is." 

Hide coughed, feeling a bit awkward and wanting to change the subject. "So." He started. "I'm here to question you for the case."

"Right." The baker laughed, effectively expelling all tension from the atmosphere. "Ask away!"

"Have you been at SHU for long?"

"I've gone here since high school, though I'm not really in the _university_ part of the school. I'm in their culinary program. It's a two year program so I'll be graduating at the end of the semester."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Thank you." Yoriko beamed, looking pleased at the prospect of moving on with her life. 

"So if you're in the culinary program, how do you know your two friends? Or, mainly, the guy who talked to me and my partner last time we were on campus. Do you remember that?"

"Oh, Otori? Yes, I remember. I suppose I should apologize for him. He's not usually that rude. But, um, is there a reason you're asking about him specifically?" Yoriko's tone turned hesitant, her eyes cautious. 

It was Hide's turn to look sympathetic. Yoriko clearly knew where this conversation was going but was hoping she was wrong. It wasn't easy hearing that one of your friends might be planning to eat you. Not that Hide knew how it felt firsthand, but he could imagine. "Yes. I'm sorry, Yoriko, but I think it might be for the best if you tried to distance yourself from him for a while. My partner strongly suspects that he might be a ghoul, and unfortunately he matches our profile of Professor. Male. A student. Is he studying biology?"

Yoriko was quiet. "...yes." 

"Right. I mean, we could be wrong. We've been wrong before and nothing's finalized yet, but I think it would be best if you tried to distance yourself from him at least until we've dismissed him as a suspect. Akira said she got a bad vibe from him when we met and I can't say I disagree. He seemed to be acting somewhat passive-aggressively towards us. Such unwarranted animosity towards investigators usually indicates a subject is a ghoul, or is somehow affiliated with ghouls. And, in my opinion, it seemed like he'd gotten possessive with _you_ in particular."

"Yeah, that was weird. Okay. I'll stay away as best that I can. But what about our friend Kyu? I don't want him to hurt her either."

"If I were you, I'd try not to say anything prematurely. Like, don't go spreading rumors that he's Professor until we know for sure. That said, you should still watch out for your other friend too, Kyu you said? I'm sure you'd be sad if she fell victim instead of you. Maybe try hanging out with other friends of yours on campus and invite Kyu along but not Otori? As subtly as possible?" Hide suggested, not entirely sure himself what the best course of action would be in this situation. But hey, if worst came to worst and Yoriko _did_ get in trouble, at least she had Touka looking out for her. 

"I'll try." Yoriko said with a sigh, looking disappointed. 

"I'm glad. Now, how long have you known him?"

"I met both Otori and Kyu this term in a core class. We were the only upperclassmen so we kind of gravitated towards each other."

"Okay, so you're not sure if either of them transferred in this semester, I take it." Hide inferred. "Has Otori done anything else that could be considered suspicious, or anything at all that you found concerning as a friend?"

Yoriko paused, taking a moment to think, before slowly responding. "No... not that I can think of. But now that you mention it I guess he has been kind of... um what word did you use? Possessive - towards me in particular. Oh no. You don't think - "

"Nothing is certain yet." Hide raised a hand, softening his expression to something he hoped was comforting. "Though, I think I'll need more information in order to really start piecing this together. Are there any huge campus events coming up that Otori might be at? Any place me or my partner could go to undercover and dig up some more information?"

"Um, not off the top of my head. There will probably be a lot of parties at the end of the term, though, so that could be an option and I could definitely get you in. Uhhh... oh and there's some guest speaker coming here at the end of the week that Otori and Kyu were talking about going to if you wanted to investigate sooner. I can't remember his name. There's probably a flier posted around here somewhere." Yoriko said, scanning the area for a moment with narrowed eyes before opening her expression and pointing to a poster hung up against one of the buildings. "There!"

Hide squinted, trying to read it without having to get up. "Takatsuki Sen... I feel like I've heard that name before." 

"Was it from Kaneki?" Yoriko giggled. "Takatsuki is a writer and Kaneki apparently was a huge fan of his work. At least, that's what Touka tells me."

"Oh right... isn't he a horror writer? I think I've seen the movie adaptation of one of his works. And no, strangely I haven't heard anything about Takatsuki Sen from Kaneki. I feel somewhat left out now." Hide joked, still eyeing the poster in thought. After a brief pause, he added, "I'm not sure a guest speaker event would be the best place to interview your friend. Maybe I'll hold off until all those parties you were talking about happen? It'll be the end of the month and that's typically when Professor hunts."

"Alright." Yoriko said, friendly smile turning mischievous. "And maybe you could convince Touka to come out. I've been dying to introduce her to my friends. None of them even know I have a girlfriend - their expressions will be priceless!" 

Hide laughed, tearing his eyes away from the poster and meeting Yoriko's again. "I'm sure that can be arranged. Maybe I'll be able to drag Kaneki out again too." 

"I look forward to our double date!" Yoriko exclaimed, causing Hide to sputter once more, caught off guard. 

Hide grappled for something clever to say, but came up empty. He probably looked like an idiot, mouth opening and closing like a fish and eyes bugging out. This time, Yoriko did laugh at him. It was strangely comforting. 

"You should really just ask him out, you know." Yoriko added, once her laugher had died down. Hide watched her silently. "As strong as he is, Kaneki's pretty dense when it comes to relationships. I think it's a ghoul trait, because Touka was the same way. I honestly don't know if she just didn't _notice_ how I felt about her or if she was freaked out by the idea of emotional intimacy. Growing up without a sense of stability and support can really mess a person up." By the end of her sentence, Yoriko's voice had grown quiet again. 

Hide nodded. "Yeah I... maybe I'll do that." 

"Only if you want to of course!" Yoriko quickly interjected. "Though, I get the feeling you do. Want to, that is." 

"I - yeah." Hide said, feeling uncharacteristically bashful. Feelings sucked but they were also kinda great. Sometimes.

Maybe. 

Before Hide could brood any longer, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He quickly took it out, reading his caller ID and panicking. "Shit - it's Akira. I was supposed to be back at the office an hour ago."

The girl giggled. "Don't worry about it. You can go. I have class soon anyway." 

"Thanks for talking, Yoriko. I'm sure I'll see you soon. Hello? Akira? I'm sorry! I know - I know - I know - I'm coming."

Hide waved goodbye. 

* * *

Amon Koutarou was tired, but that didn't stop his underling from badgering him. Nagachika was persistent when he wanted to be, and it seemed that tonight was one of those moments. 

Although, Amon couldn't imagine _why_ Hideyoshi had suddenly developed an interest in knowing all the dirty details of Amon's rather unimpressive love life - he'd never asked before, and Nagachika was _known_ for asking questions most would deem _too personal_. He had no sense of privacy. It was strangely both infuriating, and kind of endearing at the same time. Amon felt like a parent advising his son on the ways of the adult world. 

Not that Amon had much experience himself, but Hide didn't need to know that. 

"So you've never had a serious girlfriend?" Hide persisted, his stream of questions ruthless as he followed the senior investigator to his car. At least the younger had been kind enough to bribe Amon with a bag of donuts before beginning his relentless onslaught of personal questions. 

"I suppose not." Amon admitted, taking a bite of one of his aforementioned donuts. They had reached his car. "Why do you ask?"  


"Because I'm going to ask out Eyepatch and I wanted your advice." 

Amon choked on his donut. 


	13. It's a Date

_Somehow, life was worth living._

Kaneki wasn't sure when he'd realized it, or how things had changed, but one day he woke up and just... existed. Not happily, per se, but the hands on his heart had loosened, making it easier to breathe, air flowing softly from his nose to his lungs and back out.

Lighter; he felt lighter. Not weightless, but not crushed either. The stifling clutch of his depression no longer a storm of self-loathing dousing him in cold water every time he attempted to roll out of bed, but rather a smaller raincloud, still following him like his shadow, but calmer somehow too. 

He owed it all to Touka and Hinami. 

They had both grown into truly amazing people, and every day he thanked whatever god that might exist for putting them in his life. 

It was because of Touka's quick thinking that he'd escaped death at the hands of Arima Kishou. It was because of Hinami's gentle perseverance that he'd fully recovered from a serious head trauma and several months of post-traumatic amnesia. 

And on top of it all, Touka had somehow managed to reunite the surviving members of the Anteiku raid and put the pieces of their shattered family back together in a new ward. Kaneki wished he had been mentally present for all of this, instead of flopping around uselessly and screaming for death. He doesn't remember much from those first few months after the raid ( ~~and he's not sure he really wants to~~ ), but he does remember the soft, reassuring voices reading him passages from happy novels, and the gentle touch of caring hands helping him to get dressed, or to eat. 

They cared about him. More than he thought was possible. 

Then, at some point during his recovery, Kaneki's desire to die for himself became a desire to die for _them_. He owed them that much, at least. 

So he did the only thing he knew how to do; he started a new organization, took control of the ward, and cleansed it of the ghouls who were too stubborn or greedy to stop attracting the attention of doves. It was his purpose. This is what he lived for. 

The strong devoured the weak, after all.

As long as he was the strongest, no one would hurt the people he loved. 

He would live for them and they would live for him. A strange vow tying him to his feeble will to live. 

It wasn't great, but it was enough.

Still, life wasn't easy. He was constantly in a state of alert, waiting for a new, more powerful ghoul to move into the ward, or for a swarm of CCG agents to attack his home. He was vigilant; a ghost watching over the state of the once chaotic 15th ward and sending out the appropriate number of ghouls to dispose of any threats to the balance he'd somehow created. It helped that most of his friends were S to SS rated ghouls, and that Tsukiyama had a penchant for gossip. 

There was a comfort in the routine of it all. He woke up, worked at :re, helped Hinami with her school work, and then stalked the streets of Tokyo for troublesome ghouls. It was a chaotic sort of balance, not happy, but reassuring. Stable. So far, at least. 

Maybe he'd simply gotten used to life as a ghoul? Maybe....

It didn't matter - not many things did, Kaneki thought. Life was purposeless and empty but that didn't have to be a bad thing as long as you had people to live that life for. For a long time, Kaneki didn't have any people. Even when they were there in a physical sense, he still felt alone. Isolated. Unlike the rest and unable to adapt. Now however... he was able to make connections. Three years of Healing and suddenly he didn't feel so imaginary. A weird fog had been lifted. 

Hinami's self-taught "therapy" must have actually helped. Looks like all those psychology text books she'd bought had been worth-while. 

Kaneki smiled to himself, looking over from where he was resting on the couch in :re's break room to where Hinami was working on a math problem at the table, her eyebrows knitted in concentration. 

After the raid, Touka had helped Hinami get into school. Kaneki couldn't be more proud to know that his girls were going to be okay; Touka was studying at Kamii now, to become a teacher, and Hinami's grades were excellent. As long as the peace remained, they might actually get a chance at a decent life. 

A demanding buzz distracted Kaneki from his melancholy thoughts. 

Calmly, Kaneki tore his gaze away from his mildly stressed out little sister, stuck a bookmark in the forgotten novel that had been laying uselessly open on his lap for the past several minutes, unread, and dug his phone out of his pants. 

Unsurprisingly, considering the way the blond had grown to enjoy pestering him non-stop from afar, the message was from Hide.

Kaneki almost rolled his eyes, anticipating a random, somewhat ridiculous question about life such as "Why are they called boneless chicken wings and not just chicken nuggets?" or some arbitrary stream of conscious thought like "Concept: superhero movie where the superheroes are all physical embodiments of memes. Discuss." 

One corner of his mouth was already curling up into a smile from how accustomed he'd grown to receiving, and then mostly ignoring, these preposterous messages. A laugh started building in his chest from the anticipation. 

It died the moment he opened the text.  

Hide: _URGENT_

"Hey, Hinami, I'm heading out." Kaneki sprung up from his seat, quickly typing the address Hide had sent him into his GPS and stuffing his mask in his messenger bag. 

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know - tell Touka-chan to call me when she gets home. I think there's a new lead on the case."

Hinami's voice sounded distant as Kaneki rushed out the door. "Okay... be safe." 

* * *

Kaneki's mind was racing. Hide's messages were never that curt, even if they were dealing with information for the case. He must have stumbled on something monumental. Maybe he'd found Professor's base? Maybe he'd gotten into trouble with another ghoul?

Ah, it didn't matter. As long as he got there soon enough, everything would be fine. Everything was fine. 

No need to panic. 

It took him maybe five minutes to arrive at the location that Hide had messaged him, and at first glance, the venue appeared safe. Pedestrians idly strolled through the streets in groups, chatting mundanely and occasionally stopping at the shops littering the sidewalk. The sun shone through the spaces between buildings, lighting up what was already a rather bright, lively part of the city. Somewhere in the distance a dog was barking. 

Kaneki skidded to a halt in the middle of the street, bitting his lip in frustration and ignoring the sideways glances some of the passerbys were shooting him. He anxiously tapped his foot on the ground. Hide's directions ended here, yet said man was nowhere to be found and Kaneki had absolutely no idea where to go next. There must have been some sort of altercation in one of the buildings, or down an alleyway, but there was too much ground for one person to cover alone. At this rate, he'd never find Hide, and the idiot wasn't answering his phone, which of course only increased Kaneki's concern by about two hundred percent. Should he try calling Akira?

Surveying his surroundings one more time in hopes of finding any hint of an altercation, or the presence of doves, and finding none, Kaneki pulled out his phone again. 

He was already halfway through typing a concerned message to Akira when he spotted the blond in the distance, barreling towards him through the crowd, shouting his name. 

"- _aaanEKIII_!"

Oh boy. 

This time, Kaneki knew what was going to happen before it happened, and had enough sense of mind to brace himself for impact. Hide wouldn't be knocking him into anymore store windows if he could help it. 

"Hide - _oof_." 

"Hey! You made it!"

"I - yeah - Hide what's going on?" Kaneki asked, mildly flustered as he pulled himself away from Hide's embrace. Hide was a lot touchier than the people Kaneki was used to interacting with, and he sometimes found himself getting overwhelmed by it. "Did something happen?"

"Hmm?" Hide asked, eyes sparkling with something mischievous and an impish grin spread across his face. "Whatever do you mean, Kaneki-kun?"

Addled, Kaneki held up his phone. "Uh, you sent me this message. It just says "urgent" so, you know, I assumed it was _urgent_. And then you sent me this address. And stopped replying to my messages...."

"Oh that," Hide waved a hand, his entire being radiating playful deceit. His laugh was cheerful; it put Kaneki on edge. "Don't worry about it." 

"Uh...." Kaneki was at a loss. He looked around helplessly for a moment, as if someone would materialize from the crowd and save him from his confusion. Hide wasn't helping anything either, just standing there with his stupid gleefully evil smile and not bothering to explain his actions. "So...?" Kaneki prompted after he'd overcome his discomfort. "...you called me here because...?"

"I figured we've been working together for a few weeks now, and since all we ever talk about is the case, I decided we should hang out. You know, to strengthen the ties between our little CCG/ghoul group." 

"Uh." Kaneki looked around again, not able to meet the look of expectation in Hide's eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. "So you told me something urgent had come up... just to get me to hang out with you? That's... a little crazy."

"Well would you have left :re if I _didn't_ tell you it was important?"

"Yes." 

"No, you wouldn't have." 

"No, I wouldn't have." Kaneki scratched his cheek, a small sheepish smile daring to break his business-like composure. 

"Exactly. Now why don't we go visit that new bookstore around the corner. I noticed they were having a sale when I walked by." Hide asserted with a pleased grin, playfully tugging one of the strings on Kaneki's sweatshirt to get him moving. 

Choking slightly as the string pulled and tightened the opening for his head, Kaneki swatted Hide's hand away in favor of matching his pace on the sidewalk instead of letting himself get dragged around like a dog on a leash.

"I didn't know you liked to read, Hide." 

"I don't, but you do." 

"I... don't think I've ever told you that? How did you - "

"Yoriko mentioned something about it last time I talked to her, and even if she hadn't, it's not like it would have been hard to deduce. Every time I come to :re you've got your nose in a book. You're practically married to reading, dude."

"That's not.... Okay, fair enough." Kaneki conceded defeat. He relaxed for a moment, before another thought wiped the smile off his face. "So uh... are Akira and Amon coming too?"

"What? No, why?"

Kaneki relaxed again, not sure he would be able to handle Akira's judging stare and Amon's seriousness for more than a little while at a time. It would be too awkward. "Oh, it's just that you said you wanted to hang out to strengthen the ties between our two groups so I figured you had somehow magically convinced them to join us."

"Oh right." Hide laughed awkwardly. "Nope, it's just you and me. Is that okay?"

"Uh..." Kaneki paused, trying to rationalize the strange way his heart skipped a beat. "Yeah that's... fine." 

"Wow, so enthusiastic." 

"No! I mean - um? This will be fun! Ah, sorry." 

"Don't worry about it - I was only joking." Hide said, stopping abruptly on the sidewalk to meet Kaneki's eye. Kaneki fumbled slightly, attempting to keep up with Hide's constant change in momentum. He was a difficult person to keep up with, and the perpetual changes from playful to sarcastic to genuine where throwing Kaneki for a loop.

"I know I can be kind of, um, _spontaneous_ \- "

"- that's one way to describe it - "

"Hey!" Hide chuckled, lightly tapping Kaneki's shoulder. "I'm making a speech here. Quiet, you." 

"As if you're not already always talking anyway, but okay. As you wish, Mr. Investigator." Kaneki quipped, adding a cheerful note to his tone while eyeing Hide curiously. Hide was normally a pretty chaotic individual - smart in the way that was deadly, carefree and clever - someone who liked to challenge the hierarchy not necessarily because anything was wrong but because he _could -_ and random for the sake of being random.

However, today, something was off. Kaneki wasn't sure _what_ exactly struck him as unusual about Hide's behavior, but he could sense a change, subtle as it might be. There was something different in his smile, something guarded or unsure - a hesitation that seemed out of character. 

Had Kaneki done something to scare him? He knew he could be frightening when he was in battle... but Hide had already seen him kill a few ghouls and didn't seem freaked out by it before. Then again, it was probably only a matter of time before he realized how dangerous Kaneki was and started to distance himself. He was a ghoul, a killer, a _monster_ , and no matter what way you spun it, that wasn't going to change. It was only natural for Hide to be afraid of him. 

" _Like I was saying_ , I know I can be a lot to handle, and I'm kind of all over the place, but I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything - so erm, sorry for dragging you down here in such a lame way, I guess? And thank you for putting up with me? And - oh. Why do you look so sad?"

"What? I'm not - I'm - I don't look sad." 

"Yeah you do - you're not even listening to me; you totally spaced out for a second there. You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Hide leveled him with a disbelieving look.

"I'm fine! Stop looking at me like that. Anyway, what were you saying?"

"Ah, fuck it, never mind, bad timing, Hideyoshi. Just - let's go." Hide said, embarrassed, which was something Kaneki didn't think he'd ever see. 

And hell, Hide must have really gotten a kick out of surprising him, because one second Kaneki was staring him down in an attempt to decipher the inscrutable mystery that was Hideyoshi Nagachika, and the next he had grabbed his hand and started pulling him through the crowd, fingers laced. 

Kaneki felt like his heart jumped up into his throat, mouth going dry.

This was starting to feel less and less like some casual "hang out" by the minute. It was actually starting to feel kind of like - like - 

Like his date with Rize. 

Kaneki wasn't sure if the twisting in his gut was happiness or horror. 

"Anyway, here we are. Like I said: new book store, nice sales." Hide exclaimed, all traces of embarrassment eradicated and sunny disposition restored. 

"It looks, um, nice?" Kaneki offered weakly, wondering if Hide could feel how clammy his hand was. 

"You bet your ass it does." Hide shot back with a wide grin. "Come on, let's go inside. You can pick out books while I find out how long I can get away with impersonating an employee before they kick me out." 

Kaneki's lips quirked up at the corner, and in spite of his mental turbulence, he allowed himself to be swept inside. 

"Sounds like fun." 

* * *

 Despite the initial awkwardness, Hide's plan had gone much better than he had anticipated. 

While Kaneki did seem to get strangely distant every once in a while, it wasn't hard to bring him back to the present. A few stupid jokes. Hide publicly humiliating himself. An impromptu street-cartwheel. That was all it took to have Kaneki laughing again. 

And really, what more could a guy want in a boyfriend than someone who laughed at his corny jokes?

 _Whoa don't get so ahead of yourself, buddy_. Hide mentally chastised himself. Kaneki was like a shy woodland creature that needed to first be befriended with terrible humor and several hundred cups of coffee before any sort of romantic gesture would be tolerated, much less accepted.  

Toilet humor and whipped cream mustaches were his humble courtship offering. 

Hide snickered. 

"What's so funny?"

"What? Oh nothing!"

Kaneki shook his head fondly. 

They had spent most of the evening in town. Hide had lasted much longer in the bookstore than he'd anticipated. The staff was either uninterested in his antics, or their job was so boring they would take whatever source of entertainment they could get, even if that source of entertainment was a fully grown man conducting an impromptu reading of a new kids' book to a bunch of four-year-olds in the children's section of the store. However, his bookshop shenanigans had come to a sudden end when Kaneki eventually got mad at him for describing Stephen King's _It_  to a customer as "a heartwarming tale of a man's love for juggalo culture". 

Afterwards they had spent about an hour in a nearby coffee shop that also sold food, since Kaneki insisted Hide eat something for dinner, even if Kaneki couldn't. At some point, Touka had called, asking Kaneki if he was alright, which resulted in the ghoul getting lectured ( _re. yelled at_ ) by his best friend for twenty minutes for freaking her out and then forgetting to tell her that everything was fine. 

All in all, Hide thought it was a nice night. Nothing too serious happened, but Kaneki hadn't pulled away when Hide held his hand, so he'd take that as a small victory. He had no problem taking things slow. After all, dating was probably the last thing on Kaneki's mind, what with all the vigilante stuff he had going on.

After leaving the café, they somehow ended up trespassing in a public park after hours. The night was nice and the weather was warm so neither had a problem staying out and walking around after most stores had closed. One thing led to another and soon they were sitting on a hill, overlooking the rest of the park. There were a few groups of people still out: another couple sitting at a bench by the pond, and a group of teenagers playing soccer in the fading light. 

The silence was comfortable. Despite being a ghoul, Kaneki had a calming presence, especially after he loosened up, and Hide basked in this unusual feeling of complete ease. 

In most social situations, Hide felt a need to constantly fill the silence with noise, regardless of whether or not he was saying anything of relevance. It was a strange habit that he attributes to having been mostly ignored as a child. He did not like being out of control, and so, when in an uncomfortable situation, he often sought to regain some kind of grip on things by talking to fill the silence. Then, at some point in time, his mindless ramblings developed into skill. 

Though, with the ability to talk circles around his enemies came an emotional detachment that was hard to break. Which was likely why he often came across as insincere. 

Still, with Kaneki, he didn't feel any of that: no need to put on a face, no desire to break the silence. It was a rare sort of contentment with being that he had only felt with a handful of people throughout his lifetime (one of whom was Akira, but she was currently mad at him so Hide was trying not to think too much about her). 

It was almost morbidly ironic that the universe would put someone so wonderful in his life, only to have them be mortal enemies (not that Hide had listened to the CCG's rules anyway, but still). 

And Kaneki really was wonderful. To be a ghoul and be so adamant about morality.... It was a kind of strength not many people possessed. Hide was certain that if _he'd_ been in Kaneki's shoes, he wouldn't have been so unshakable. Heck, Hide was born a human and Kaneki was _still_  more honorable than he was.  

Ah... he needed to stop thinking. Now wasn't really the time for self-reflection. The sun had set. The couple and the group of teenagers had left the park about five minutes ago. It was time they got going too. 

Hide was about to turn to Kaneki and suggest they start walking back, when surprisingly, Kaneki broke their silence. 

"So what made you decide to become an investigator?" He asked out of the blue, blank eyes staring straight up at the sky. Hide jolted, not expecting such a personal question from someone who seemed to avoid intimacy like the plague. 

The investigator stared at him for a minute, not sure if he'd heard correctly, considering Kaneki hadn't bothered to even glance at him while speaking. It wasn't until Kaneki tore his gaze away from the clouds to look at him expectantly that Hide remembered to answer. 

"Um, well." Hide scratched his cheek. "It's kind of a long story." He laughed awkwardly in an attempt to diffuse this new, unidentifiable type of tension that had arisen between them in a matter of seconds. 

Kaneki's face was unreadable.

"We've got time." He said after a moment, speaking in that quiet manner Hide had come to associate with the beginnings of one of his philosophical rants. Kaneki's eyes were mysteriously intense. Hide wondered what he had been thinking about a moment ago to bring this shift in mood. 

As if sensing Hide's apprehension, Kaneki softened his gaze. "Sorry, it's.... I know a lot of investigators are either born into ghoul hunting families or have had some sort of traumatic childhood encounter with a ghoul that led them to joining the forces. I was just thinking... you don't really seem like the type? Er, don't get me wrong you're clearly very talented, but usually investigators are much more... resentful... when it comes to the ghoul population. Which is completely justified! I mean, if I were human I'd be afraid of me too but... you don't seem to be afraid? Or angry? At all? In fact, you were pretty accepting from the very beginning. That just... doesn't make sense to me." 

"Ah." Hide swallowed, tearing his eyes away from Kaneki's imploring gaze. He paused for a moment, looking out across the deserted park for a moment before heaving an exaggerated sigh and flopping down onto his back on the grass, hands folded behind his head. Kaneki continued to eye him curiously. 

"You're right. Most investigators _are_ pretty bitter. I mean look at Akira and Amon. Two of the saltiest people I know; they could be salt miners diggin' up salt from under the Dead Sea. Especially Akira, man is she rigid or what?" Hide chuckled to himself. "So it would make sense for me to be the same, but the truth is, even though killing ghouls is technically my job, I don't, you know... _want_ to." 

Kaneki blinked. "You don't want to... what? Kill ghouls?"

"Right. I didn't have a horrifying encounter with a ghoul as a child, or lose a loved one to a ghoul, or have a family of anti-ghoul advocates forcing their prejudices on me. To me, this job has always just been... a _job_. I do it because I get paid. Never really thought about whether it was good or bad, though I suppose it's a little bit of both."

"Huh." Kaneki paused. "That's...." 

"Mm - selfish? Thoughtless? Insensitive?"

"I was going to say different." Kaneki laughed. "But... I don't know if it's different in a good or bad way? I mean at least your coworkers have _some_ justification for their killing... even if it's completely delusional...."

"Maybe it's both?"

"Yeah." 

Another silence washed over them, broken only by the sound of the crickets starting to sing as the sun went down. 

"Hey... you never answered my question."

"What?"

"Why _did_ you become an investigator?"

"You really want to know?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't." 

Hide laughed. "True, true. Okay, well, like I said, it's a long story. I grew up pretty, uh, for lack of a better word, poor. Dirt poor, actually. Like ramen-for-every-meal poor. Mostly because my dad was really sick and his medical bills were a nightmare. My mom spent all her time either taking care of me, or taking care of him, or working to feed a family of three which really took a tole on our expenses over the years. Still, she loved my dad and wanted to have him around for as long as possible, even if the prognosis was terminal. He died when I was thirteen."

"Oh... I'm sorry. What did he have? I mean, if you don't mind me -"

"Don't worry, dude, I don't mind. This was ages ago anyway. He had Huntington's disease, which is normally found in Europeans but hey my dad was adopted so he must have had some caucasian blood in there somewhere. It's also why we didn't know he was sick until he started showing symptoms, and by 'we' I mean my mom because he apparently started losing control just after I was born so I don't remember. I just remember him progressively getting crazier. Well, not _crazier_ I guess I shouldn't use that word but.... You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Do you know anything about neuroscience?"

Kaneki smiled hesitantly. "Afraid not... I was a Literature major, remember?"

"Right, of course." Hide laughed, hoping to put him at ease. "Okay so basically it's an incurable disorder that slowly kills all of your brain cells for like ten years or a little longer. Which is why the afflicted people tend to go a little crazy - erm - not crazy but they lose control. First come the mood issues then the motor dysfunction then, well, let's just say it gradually gets worse with time. It's also autosomal dominant, which basically means I had a fifty-fifty chance of inheriting it." 

With that, Kaneki's eyes snapped open, head jerking to gape at Hide more directly. "Hide - you -!"

"Don't worry, I'm going to be fine. My mother had my genes tested. No brain damage here."

Kaneki relaxed. "...says you." 

A large, amused smile broke across Hide's face and he swatted at Kaneki's arm in retaliation. The ghoul was faster than him, though, and managed to move just in time, sticking out his tongue defiantly as he did so. 

"Anyway, so with all that going on, expenses really piled up. When he died my mom was sad but also a little relieved, I think. Though she'd never tell _me_ that, let alone admit it to herself. I mean... it was hard. But I digress.... By the time I got to secondary school I started looking for work to help out but... no one would hire me. So I sort of... joined a group of pickpockets at my school. It wasn't really a gang, at least not at first, but things slowly escalated and one day I found out that the guy that had recruited me was actually just planning on eating me. I got lucky, though. Really lucky. He was a pretty low-ranking ghoul. C or B at best, and it wasn't horribly hard to fend him off, although I do have a few scars.

"I probably would have just moved on with my life after this, became a criminal or something, ended up in jail during my twenties and died, but this was, strangely, kind of a turning point for me. The officers down at the CCG were impressed, I guess, and had me take a few tests. Then they offered me a scholarship to Kamii and a job with them once I graduated. So no, I don't _really_ have any prejudices against ghouls. I just needed a job and the CCG offered me one. And that, curious little cannibal, is why I'm an investigator."

"Wow that... sounds really intense." 

"Yeah.... Working as an investigator is even more intense though. And I bet living as a ghoul is MOST intense."

"I would agree with that." Kaneki said, turning his attention back towards the stars. 

"Your turn!" 

"Hm?"

"Tell me something about yourself. Doesn't have to be big but can be if you want. How'd you end up working at :re? What's your favorite color? How'd you escape Arima Kishou? Tell me _stories_." 

Kaneki laughed. "How about you pick one good question, I answer it, and we call it even?"

"Ooooh the stakes are getting high, here, ladies and gentlemen. I better make this question good."

"You better." 

"Alright, here goes. How... many donut holes do you think I can fit in my mouth without choking?"

"Thirty f- "

"Wait don't answer that!" Hide exclaimed, immediately jumping up and tackling Kaneki to the ground, making sure to cover his mouth. "I was kidding! It doesn't count!"

Calmly, Kaneki licked his hand. 

Looking disgusted, Hide pulled away. "Gross, dude." 

"You dug your own grave." 

"Okay but _actually_ \- " Hide said, flopping down once again and trying not to get too ridiculously giddy about how close they were laying. "I... am pretty curious about what happened at the Anteiku raid."

Kaneki looked at him oddly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... those ghouls were your friends, right? The Owl? That's why you were fighting, right? But as far as I know, neither Touka nor Nishiki participated."

"Oh...." Kaneki shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah they didn't fight. I actually worked at Anteiku for a few months before I branched off and started my own group, which is when I accidentally made a name for myself. Then I guess the CCG was tipped off that Anteiku was a ghoul café and the manager, that's the first Owl, didn't want any of the younger generation to participate in the fight, so Touka and Nishiki fled along with Hinami and an older ghoul I don't think you've met."

"Okay but, you're younger than Nishiki, right? And you still showed up at the raid." 

"Yeah I... um." Kaneki looked away, twiddling his thumbs. "The thing you've got to know about that is... I wasn't in the best state of mind at the time. To put things simply, I didn't want to lose anyone and I had just gotten into a fight with Touka about... well... _me_... because. Because I was being an idiot. And I thought I wanted to fight to protect the people that had helped me but really I just didn't want to lose them for my own sake."

"I'm not following." 

"It's like you said before. You developed this habit of talking to fill the silence because you were left alone a lot as a kid and you were tired of being ignored. I'm the same way. I was always in the background, always ignored, always a burden or a nuisance to have around. And then I met the ghouls at Anteiku and things started to change and I... learned what it was like to not be alone. And I never wanted to feel that way again. I never wanted to look at my life and think, wow, you have absolutely _no one_. So I convinced myself that I wanted to fight to repay a debt, or to protect a few people I cared about when really I just wanted to protect that feeling, that security I realized I had with Anteiku. I liked to talk big but... really I was just afraid of being alone. Touka helped me realize that, literally punched me in the face I might add. And I think I needed to hear it but... then wasn't really the time. It only made me want to fight more like... like I could change what was in my heart if I fought hard enough to protect those ghouls. So I went into battle blindly, convinced that I was doing it to prove her wrong, or prove myself wrong, or... I don't know who I was even trying to prove myself to. I just... had to fight. I didn't realize _why_ at first. I was just so... empty."

Kaneki paused for a moment to collect his thoughts, pulling his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around them like a small child. Hide released a breath, realizing he'd stopped breathing at some point. He tried to ignore the heavy feeling in his chest. 

"I saved the Black Dog first, and then the Devil Ape and took them somewhere safe. Then I went back out and... ran into your reaper. And we fought for a while. I... think he was humoring me. Testing me or something. Because he definitely took his time and I was... I was losing my grip.  And facing him... that's when I realized what this whole thing was really about. I wasn't heroic, or selfless, or trying to prove a point to myself." Kaneki laughed bitterly. The cold look in his eyes as he stared across the dark empty park scared Hide a little bit. "No. I just wanted to die." 

Hide kept his face neutral, trying to remain calm even though his suspicions had been confirmed. 

"I didn't want anyone to know that though. I didn't even want _myself_ to know. I just... wanted to be done. I was so tired. Of everything. Of trying or... I don't know. I don't know. I wanted to play the part though, act like some martyr. Maybe saving a few lives would justify losing mine? I don't know. Because I don't deserve.... 

"Anyway, I got away, but none of that credit goes to me. I was unconscious by the time that Touka-chan and Yomo saved me. Not sure how they pulled it off, but it was brilliant. They set part of the sewer on fire with a few bottles of kerosine, I think. And you know Nishiki wants to be a pharmacist right? He knows too much about chemicals, set off an explosion. It was enough of a distraction to get me out of there. Or so they tell me. I... don't know what I did to deserve them." 

A pause. 

Kaneki seemed to be done talking, so Hide shifted closer, not entirely sure what to say. "Sounds like... you had a lot going on back then. But hey, don't sell yourself short. Nishio-sempai and Touka-chan seem pretty picky about who they ally themselves to. You must have done something right to earn their trust."

"Yeah...." Kaneki waved a hand, not at all sounding convinced. After a moment, he blinked and the dead look in his eyes dropped. He turned to Hide. "Ah sorry. That got a lot more morbid than you were anticipating, huh? You didn't need to hear all that. I'll - "

"No, I'm glad you told me. I feel like I know you a little bit better now." Hide interrupted, smiling gently. 

Kaneki ducked his head. God, he was so cute.

"Oh." 

"Anyway, the important thing is that it's in the past. I mean, you're still here, right? Despite everything you just told me. You basically kicked Death in the face and ran away. That's no small victory." 

"Like I said, Touka and Nishiki rescued me. I didn't escape on my own." 

"Yeah but you're the one who's kept yourself alive until now, right?" Hide countered. "You said that, back then, you wanted to die. Thoughts like that don't just go away. But you're still here, three years later. I think that says a lot about who you are."

"I... maybe." Kaneki seemed uncomfortable with the praise, but not displeased. 

"Alright, I'll stop lecturing you now." Hide said with a warm laugh. "Just know, the next time I see you feeling down, I will not hesitate to aggressively scream positive encouragement at you." 

Kaneki chuckled. "Noted." 

Another comfortable silence replaced the tense atmosphere. Hide was... happy. Happier than he'd been in a while. After spending so much time living for the sake of living, Kaneki made him feel like he was doing something important. Which was probably part of the reason he liked him so much. 

"Hey, Hide?"

"Yup?"

"Was this supposed to be a date?"

What.

Man, and Hide was so relaxed a second ago. Now his heart was trying to beat its way out of his ears again. 

Wait. 

"What do you mean _supposed_ to be?!"

"I don't know. I can never tell with you. And it _feels_ like a date. So. I just wanted some verification." 

Hide could feel himself starting to blush. He was not expecting Kaneki to get so direct all of a sudden.

"Yeah." He relented. "It was intended to be a date."

"So _that's_ why you've been acting so weird today." 

"First of all: how dare you. Second of all: I'm _always_ acting weird."

"That's true." 

"Damn right." 

"Anyway, so if this is a date...?" Kaneki shifted, looking a little lost. Hide raised his eyebrows, trying to ignore the liter adrenaline that just got dumped into his bloodstream. "I wouldn't mind, you know..." Was this even real? Hide resisted the urge to punch himself. "...if you k-kissed me?"

Definitely not real. Nope. Hide was probably just dead, or dying in a ditch or something, some ghoul eating his internal organs. 

"Really?" He shot up, trying and failing not to sound elated. 

Kaneki flinched under the attention. "Ah, I mean, only if you want... to...?"

Hide hummed in affirmation, already leaning forward. He absently wondered if it would be weird for Kaneki, kissing a human that is. What did humans even taste like to ghouls? 

Kaneki's eyes widened as his face inched closer. He looked so tense. Hide made it a personal goal to make this as nice as possible, also taking advantage of the opportunity to cup the back of Kaneki's head. His hair was as soft as it looked. 

It was over in a moment, a soft exhale of breath on his cheek, a gentle press of lips, and Hide pulled away to examine Kaneki's expression. 

The ghoul blinked, as if processing that that had, in fact, just happened before absently lifting a hand to his lips. 

Hide smiled wryly. "First kiss?" He asked. It was painfully obvious. 

"Yeah." 

"Up for a second?"

"Yeah." 

It was a good day.   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a science nerd that just took a physiological psychology class and couldn't resist. I apologize for the impromptu unspecific mini neurology lesson


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaldsjfoiqwLSKFDJA;sgasg 
> 
> hi I'm super rusty
> 
> This chapter is pretty short. It was going to be long but the characters and I did not agree. 
> 
> (There was going to be more Eto but it just didn't happen boo)  
> I apologize

A puff of hot air against the shell of his ear.

A whisper.

"Can I touch it?". 

Kaneki's eyes snapped forward. 

"Hide what the actual fuck are you doing?"

"Trying to get your attention?"

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, the weight of their owner's body pushing into him, causing Kaneki, despite his enhanced strength, to lean forward in his seat, accommodating for the sudden mass currently trying to wriggle its way between himself and the soft cushions of the couch.

"And ' _Hey what's up Kaneki? How are you today, Kaneki? Wanna chat?_ ' was too ordinary for you?" 

"Yeah." The nip against his ear was unexpected, and made Kaneki flush in embarrassment, partially from Hide's open affection, and partially from the embarrassing zing that went down his neck at the contact. “So, can I?

“Can you what?” Kaneki deadpanned.

“Can I touch your kagune?”

Kaneki stiffened. He had expected Hide to ask him that precisely... never. 

Hide seemed to sense his hesitation and pulled away, resting his elbows on the back of the couch, adopting a more casual stance, though looking somewhat amused all the same. "You can say ' _no_ ', you know." He stated matter-of-factly.

Kaneki frowned, "I know. I'm just.... Why?"

" _Mmm_ -'cause it's interesting and I'm curious."

"But they're... weapons?"

"Yeah fricken' _cool_ weapons."  

"- _Hide_ -"

"No shame, dude. It's like asking your friend to show you their rad sword collection."

"Don't say rad. And who owns swords? Also my kagune is _nothing_ like a sword." 

"Cuts stuff."

"It - okay it has _one_ thing in common with swords. But I mean... it's still dangerous and... gross and - I don't know why you'd want to see that? Especially when you spend so much time _fighting_ them. Not to mention your quinque is literally made of, like, broken down processed RC cells which is kinda similar to... my.... Plus, you see kagune all the time on the job."

"But they're not _yours_." Hide said, leaning forward on his elbows to hover his upper body slightly above Kaneki with that deceptively dopy grin of his. 

Kaneki flushed. "N-no - I! You've seen mine already. Remember?" 

"I didn't _know_ you then, though." 

"Still." Kaneki grumbled, averting his eyes and crossing his arms. He mulled over the idea, not overtly pleased with the concept of putting himself on display like some bizarre exotic predator at a freakshow, though not entirely opposed all the same. 

He was about to turn to Hide and hesitantly concede when a warm chuckle from above beat him to it. "Alright. I know a 'no' when I see one. I hope I didn't cross a boundary or anything." 

" _N_ _o_  - I - no I mean - I was just about to say yes."

Hide's smile was warm. "That's okay. I can see the conflict in your eyes. So rain check, maybe?"

"I - okay." Kaneki released a breath, the muscles in his shoulders relaxing. He hadn't realized how tense he'd been. Frowning slightly at his lack of ability to hide his emotions, Kaneki silently stood up, cracking his back before turning around to face Hide, who was still leaning against the back of the couch. "Well, we should probably head out soon anyway. The event starts in an hour and I don't trust traffic." 

"Yeah, yeah. Yoriko and her ghoulish companion want us to meet them there a few minutes early too, so we can find seats together. Plus that'll give you a little time to sniff him out or whatever." 

"Sniff him out?"

"Use your ghoul nose to identify other ghouls. Ghoul stuff." 

Kaneki gawked. "I'm not going to _smell him_. Is that why you wanted me to come? Not from any solid investigative standpoint, or even to have backup. But so that I could _smell your suspect_?"

"Well when you put it like that." 

The ghoul sighed. "You're an idiot." 

"So you'll do it?" 

"...Yeah, why not." 

"Sweet!" Hide exclaimed, grabbing his jacket and putting it on in an exaggerated, swooping motion before practically skipping around the couch and linking his arm with Kaneki's. The ghoul glared, but made no effort to pull away, instead letting his arm hang limp like a noodle in Hide's grasp as the investigator marched them forward. "Let's solve this case!"

* * *

Akira Mado liked to think she was a relatively cool-headed individual. She generally didn't make decisions based on emotion, but rather tried to reason her way through every choice she made on a day-to-day basis, whether work related or personal. 

Hide, despite the general chaos he inspired daily, tended to think the same way. It was one of the reasons they worked so well together. He was logical, his decisions fact based, his intuition unparalleled. Underneath that shit-eating grin was a mind wired for cold calculation. Just like hers. It was why she tolerated him that first day he was introduced as her new partner. 

But... _god..._ they had their differences, that was for sure. In fact, Akira couldn't think of a time where there differences were more evident than now. 

For one, while Hide did always get his job done, he tended to have a complete disregard for he rules and regulations. He didn't care about his work, or his superiors, or about bringing the monsters wrecking the world to justice. In fact, his attitude towards the CCG had always been flippant at best, which hadn't  _really_ bothered Akira so long as he was still helping her solve their cases. For years they'd worked that way - with Hideyoshi, in all of his disjointed brillance, practically hacking their cases open with an axe like some sort of lawless delinquent while she swooped in afterwards to collect evidence, look for new leads, and smooth things over with their superiors. 

Now, however, things had taken an unwelcome turn. 

She knew Hide wasn't passionate about their cause, but she never thought he'd turn his back to it entirely. Not really, anyway. But he had - and for what? For some ghoul he barely knows? For a _monster_ that has probably taken countless lives himself? God, why was he so blind to his own perfidious lunacy? What was it about this vile _demon_ that had Hide so willing to drop all of his previous convictions? And Amon! Akira, at the very least in hind-sight, could have seen that Hide was one of the types of people most likely to sympathize with the ghouls. But Amon? Never would she have seen it coming from him. 

And the worst part was that she couldn't _do_ anything about it. If she went to her superiors, both Hide and Amon (and possibly even Akira herself) would be thrown in prison, forever to be branded as traitors in the eyes of Japan. Not to mention she'd have an entire hive of ghouls out for her neck, and it could quite possibly get Hideyoshi killed. But if she _didn't_  go to her superiors, then she was going against everything she'd ever believed in, and there still lied the possibility that the ghouls would turn them all into a midnight snack. 

Meanwhile, Hide was jumping around like a lovesick puppy, Amon was often getting lost in thought like he was constantly engaged in some internal existential debate, and their case remained unsolved. 

If it weren't for Eyepatch, they would have closed this case already. Hide may have been able to convince _himself_ that he tracked down Eyepatch for help, but so far, the stats were telling a different story. 

And she'd told him so, a few days ago. 

They'd fought again.

That seemed to be all they were doing lately. 

Akira slumped in her seat.

Apparently, her lack of perfect posture was all it took to alert the man across from her to her inner dismay. 

Seido rested his head on his fists, elbows on the desk in front of him. "Tough case?" He asked, curiosity alight in his eyes. 

"You could say that." 

"You and Hide seem to be kind of out of sync lately."

"I'm surprised you noticed." There was more malice in her tone that Akira had intended, but it was hard to filter herself with all of the pent up anger threatening to overcome her at any second. 

The brunet looked offended. "Hey I'm a good investigator! Just because you and Hide are like Beep Boop Beep - _The Robot Squad_ \- doesn't mean the rest of us are incompetent. But - that's not the point. You've seriously been off lately and I'm pretty sure sure the entire _ward_ has realized it at this point. And it usually doesn't take you guys this long to solve a case. You might want to get on it before Shinohara gives it to someone else. What happened? Did someone spill some water on your circuit board?"

Akira frowned, fighting the urge to groan in frustration and engaging a large amount of will-power in preventing herself from snapping at him. "Hide... has not been taking this case seriously." She said through her teeth. "He's been distracted by... his personal life... and it's started to affect his performance. I've tried reasoning with him... but all we do is fight. And I'd rather not get into it with you." 

Seido put up his hands. "Alright, I won't hassle you anymore. But seriously."

With that, Seido turned away to continue typing up a report. Akira's frown deepened to a scowl. 

She couldn't continue on like this.

* * *

Kaneki thought the drive was relatively amicable, if not a little awkward, though he couldn't be sure if the atmosphere was _actually_  awkward or if it was all in his head.

Ever since their... _whatever it was_... Kaneki had been thrown into a state of cognitive dissonance. It wasn't like him to be so forward or comfortable around someone he didn't really know all that well, especially in a romantic setting. It was... strange... and even though everything always felt okay in the moment, afterwards Kaneki was... he felt... wrong somehow. 

Meanwhile Hide... Hide seemed totally fine. If anything, he'd grown even  _more_ affectionate, _more_ bubbly, _more_ radiant, which Kaneki hadn't really thought was possible. 

And he was touching him more.  

It was always in little ways - he'd grab Kaneki's hand while out in public, rest an elbow on his shoulder, poke his nose - and on some level, Kaneki realized this was probably normal behavior for two people who were...  _ ~~togeth-~~_  who were ~~_datin-_~~  who cared about each other. 

And, oddly enough, he really did like all of the attention. He _liked_ the little touches, the small gestures of affection. He'd _liked_ the gentle feeling of Hide's finger's in his hair while he'd kissed him. He _liked_  the way he'd looped their arms together before heading out. He _liked_ feeling their fingers laced together. Yet, at the same time, whenever Hide touched him gingerly, like he was _worth_ something, his mouth would go dry, his blood would run cold, his entire body would seize up like it was waiting for the moment those gentle touches turned malicious. 

And to Kaneki, it seemed so stupid, so pathetic but....

He was afraid.

Terrified, even.

He'd never known anyone who was so comfortable with casual physical touch like that. The only one he'd ever allowed himself to get so close to was Hinami, and even then that was only when she was younger and happy to cuddle up under a blanket while he taught her to read. 

With everyone else - with Touka and Nishiki and Banjou and Tsukiyama - there had always been a comfortable distance. He knew he was cared about, and that had always been enough for him. 

But with Hide it was different. He touched him so easily, so casually, like it was no big deal. And not even an hour ago, he'd wanted to touch his kagune too?

Kaneki knew there was no mal-intent in the request, but it still had his skin crawling. Which was strange, because, for a second, Kaneki had thought that... it would be okay to... to show him... _it_. Though now that Kaneki was really thinking it through, it was probably a good thing that Hide had stopped him. If Kaneki panicked just holding hands, who knows how he would have reacted with his kagune out. He might have freaked out and _hurt_ Hide - oh god what if he - 

"You doing alright, man?"

_Huh?_

"W-what?" Kaneki blinked, dazed. His head felt foggy. 

"You look a little pale. Well, paler than usual that is. Are you okay?" Hide probed, the same maddening patience in his eyes as always. 

"I'm fine." Kaneki scratched his cheek, offering a shaky smile. "Just... thinking." 

Hide hummed, looking concerned, though he didn't press the matter - which - _god_ , who _did_ that? "Alright, if you say so." Hide dropped it, returning his eyes to the road, giving Kaneki the silence he needed to collect himself. 

A minute later, they were parking.

"Alright, we're here. Mind calling Yoriko? I want to make sure we get in together."

"On it." Kaneki said, pulling out his phone and doing a quick search for the baker's number before hitting call and listening to it ring. Hide waited patiently while Kaneki spoke with Yoriko, pulling out his own phone to do a quick check for new messages, specifically from Akira - she wanted updates throughout the night.

"Okay, Yoriko says the entrance is through there." Kaneki said after hanging up.

Hide pocketed his phone. "I'll follow you." 

...

"Hey! It's great to see you two again." Yoriko greeted warmly, quickly pulling Kaneki and then Hide into brief, but sincere hugs. Detatching, she immediately turned to present the young man at her side. "I know you've met before, Hide, but Kaneki I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Otori."

Hide nodded. "Good to see you again." 

"Nice to meet you." 

"Yeah likewise." Otori responded cordially, shaking Kaneki's outstretched hand. 

"And this is Kyu! She's also been in a few of my classes and the three of us tend to hang out a lot. I don't think either of you two have met her yet."

"No I don't believe we have. It's nice to meet you, I'm Hide." 

"Kaneki."

"Kyu. It's a pleasure. I hope you don't mind that I came along. I overheard these two talking about it and I love Takatsuki Sen's writing so...."

"Not a problem at all." Hide said kindly, offering the mousy girl his signature grin. 

Yoriko clapped her hands. "Anyway, we should probably get inside or all the good seats will be taken. Kaneki I'm sure you're dying to hear him speak! What with all of those grim novels you're always reading." 

Kaneki shook his head. "Takatsuki Sen is a girl. And I'm fine - I've actually been to one of her book signings before. With Hinami." 

"Oh really? That must be a pen name then. Regardless, she's supposed to be announcing a new book or something! Get excited! Aren't you excited Otori?"

"Hm? Yeah super. Super excited." The man responded automatically, casting Yoriko an amicable smile before flicking his eyes over to Kaneki and Hide uncertainly - a motion that didn't go unnoticed by either the ghoul or the investigator. 

Yoriko started to chatter again as they started walking, sharing warm words with their suspect and her friend while Hide and Kaneki trailed close behind. 

Kaneki was trying to keep up with the conversation, which had quickly turned from morbid books to college classes to end of semester parties. Not knowing any of the people the three friends were speaking about definitely didn't help - nor did the way Hide kept elbowing him. Irritated, he shot the investigator a disapproving look. Instead of being phased, however, Hide simply jerked his head in Otori's direction, and Kaneki was suddenly reminded of the conversation they'd had in the break room at :re. 

Eyes widening, Kaneki shook his head fervently, mouthing ' _not now_ ' in the most exaggerated possible way, just so he was sure Hide would get it. 

Hide gave him another look, this time blatantly pointing a finger at Otori's back. 

_"No"_

_"Why not?"_

Kaneki looked forward once again. Yoriko, Otori, and Kyu seemed to be totally engrossed in their conversation and hadn't noticed their whispering. 

Well... Kaneki supposed this was probably the best opportunity he'd get to... um... smell some guy he doesn't even know without him realizing. Then again there was always the possibility that, if he _was_ a ghoul, he'd recognize Kaneki's scent if he got too close and - 

Urgh he really needed to stop overthinking these things. 

 _"Well?"_ Hide whispered, eyes subtly sweeping the perimeter for suspicious individuals as groups of students started flooding into the auditorium. 

Quietly sighing in resignation, Kaneki nodded and Hide shot him a triumphant smile. 

Bracing himself, Kaneki stepped in close, leaning in to take a breath when - 

"Oh Kaneki, look! You can preorder a copy of her new book!"

Yoriko redirected the group's attention to himself, swiftly turning on her heal to face him while gesturing excitedly. Unfortunately, this caused Otori to turn around as well, just as Kaneki had been leaning in to take a whiff, which ultimately resulted in the entire group watching him practically ram his face into Otori's neck. The group went silent. 

Kaneki recoiled quickly, face turning pink as he tried to stutter out an excuse for his strange behavior. "Uh! Sorry - I uh - "

"Did you just _smell_ me?" Otori asked incredulously, eyebrows raised. 

"N - no I! I kinda tripped over my feet a little and tried to catch myself but then you all stopped so I - um!"

"Yeah that's what I saw." Hide added, trying and failing to stifle a laugh by biting his lip. Kaneki had half a mind to kick him. "He's got two left feet." 

Otori's eyes flickered between Hide and Kaneki, a skeptical look on his face while he analyzed both men. Finally, and with total certainty, he spoke.

"You guys are fucking weird." 

That seemed to do it for Hide, who couldn't hold back his laughter anymore and let out a loud, ugly sound, turning away from the group in an attempt to collect himself. Meanwhile, Kaneki's face turned redder, Kyu looked confused, and Yoriko tried to hide smile behind her hand, covering the need to laugh with a cough. 

"Come on guys." Otori continued, shooting the other two boys a disapproving look before snatching both girls by the arms and steering them away, towards their seats. 

As they disappeared into the crowd, Hide really started laughing, whatever jumble of nerves and adrenaline he was experiencing making it impossible to contain himself. Kaneki merely gaped. 

"Hide, he really hates you. Even I can tell that. What did you do to him?"

"I - I don't know, man." Hide chuckled, collecting himself. "He's just always hated me." 

Kaneki shuffled his feet uncertainly. "... And is that why you and Akira are convinced he may be the Professor?" He inquired hesitantly, shooting the investigator a look. 

"I mean... yeah that's part of it. Why?"

"Because he's human."

The lingering smile immediately fell from Hide's face. "What? Are you sure?"

Kaneki nodded, disheartened. "Yeah he... he smells like a human. He's _human_. I'm positive." 

"Oh shit." Hide put a hand to his head, posture going from lax to rigid in a second. "Oh _shit_. Oh god - Akira's going to murder me when she finds out. This was supposed to be our break."

"I'm sorry, Hide."

"No, don't worry about it. This is my job not yours. But _fuck_ I was so _sure_."   

"I guess we'll just have to look out for any new suspects." 

"We have _no leads_. I'm so dead. I'm so dead. Akira's gonna be _pissed_. Ah - speak of the devil!" Hide exclaimed, displaying more frustration that Kaneki had ever seen before as his phone went off. "Hello? _Heeeeey_ Akira how're you doing?"

Hide turned away, putting a finger to his ear in an attempt to better hear his partner through the chatter of the crowd. Most people had already filed inside, and as they continued to do so, the volume outside gradually decreased. Kaneki stood close to Hide, shuffling nervously throughout the conversation while he watched the few remaining groups of students disappear behind double doors. 

"Yeah... about that." Hide laughed nervously. There was an unusual note of distress in his voice that made Kaneki desperately want to hear the other end of the conversation. "We um... we're at the auditorium right now." 

Clapping from within altered Kaneki that the presentation had begun, and he jerked his head at the sound. 

"...And I've got some bad news...."

The crowd settled down. Kaneki could barely make out the sound of a woman speaking through a microphone from within the auditorium. Hide was chewing on his bottom lip, head down. "We... don't have any more suspects.." 

It wasn't hard to image Akira's ' _what do you mean we don't have any more suspects_ '. 

Hide sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I had Kaneki smell our suspect. He says he's human. He's _human_. We - yeah? I know.... Akira I _know_. I'll - okay. Okay." 

Hide was scowling, his shoulders tensed.

Kaneki had to admit, it was kind of refreshing to see this side of the blond - it made him seem more human, more real, less impossibly peppy genius boy. Strangely, it made him feel grounded, calm. He put a hand on Hide's shoulder in a small attempt to reassure him. The blond slumped a little, but was otherwise outwardly unaffected. 

"I'm sorry.... I know. I didn't mean to let you down but.... We'll catch him. We _have_ to. There's got to be another clue somewhere. When I get home tonight I'll go over all of the case files again and look for something.... I promise.... Umhmm.... Okay... thanks Akira. Bye." 

Hide's arm dropped to his side, phone held loosely in his fingers. 

"She's mad?" Kaneki asked, patting the blond's shoulder awkwardly. 

"Yep. And I need to come up with something soon or else."

"If you want to go home now, I won't mind. We came here for the case after all."

"What? No. Are you sure?" Hide said. 

Kaneki chuckled. "Yeah I'm sure. Go home. You're here to work. I understand."

"I... no, no it's fine. It's not like this is going to take that long anyway." Hide insisted suddenly, despite the uncertainty he was displaying moments ago. 

Kaneki frowned. "You should go home. It's really fine."

"I'd feel kinda shitty about leaving you." 

"And I'd feel kinda shitty if I messed up your relationship with Akira." Kaneki countered, offering a small but reassuring grin. "It's okay. Seriously. Go home." 

"I.... You're right. Okay. I'm leaving. Thanks 'Neki, you're the best." Hide said, smiling tiredly. 

The nickname caught him off-guard, and his face colored once again. Would Hide _ever_ stop humiliating him? "I - you're welcome." Kaneki responded lamely. 

Hide chuckled lightly and suddenly moved in, wrapping his arms around him in a hug before pressing a kiss to one of Kaneki's tinted cheeks. Kaneki seized up, unused to the attention as his mind completely shut down, alternating between hating it and loving it. Pulling away, Hide mused Kaneki's hair before completely stepping back. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

Kaneki's response was strained. "...Okay." 

Hide waved, and Kaneki watched him go, anxiety clouding his mind.

He didn't even _want_ to hear Takatsuki Sen speak anymore. 

Kaneki decided to go home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Climax incoming.
> 
> And its gonna be less happy so fair warning. There will be more happy times, but not until after everyone's been significantly traumatized. This is Tokyo Ghoul after all. (Though I am no horror writer...so... uhhhhhh)
> 
> Also the manga has taken some turns lately, if you were unaware. So just… like… keep in mind that the entire plot of this story was written with only the knowledge of up to approximately chapter 80/85 of :re. Going forward there will probably be some mischaracterization in comparison to the manga and also some scientific inaccuracies. And bizarrely enough some similar plot points but uh
> 
> Anyway,  
> Have a good day:)  
> (And Happy Halloween)


	15. Ghouls and Groceries (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: Touka made Hide do :re's shopping for the week in return for taking up so much of Kaneki's time (which he could have spent working at the cafe)
> 
> (it's been exactly a year since I posted the first chapter)

Over 100 known kills.

No leads.

To say he was disheartened would be an understatement.

Hide was absolutely dejected.

This wasn’t like him. He was an excellent investigator, always on top of the case, always able to come up with a new plan, a new idea that would inevitably lead to the case being solved and the culprit behind bars. He hadn’t been this stumped in a long time, and the feeling was starting to get to him. The knowledge that there was still a deadly ghoul lurking in the shadows of the 15th ward was driving him crazy. He had absolutely no new ideas, no clue where to look next, what to do next, and the awareness of his own failure was eating at him from the back of his mind. He was supposed to be _smart_.

Truthfully, it wasn’t just the lack of leads that was bothering him. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe what Akira had said the other day was right. He’d let himself get distracted. He’d spent more time trying to solve the puzzle that was Kaneki Ken and not enough time on the actual case, and because of that, he may have let the opportunity to catch arguably what would have been his highest profile ghoul slip away.

God, he was a real idiot, wasn’t he?

He’d been confused at the warehouse, intrigued at the hospital, and totally infatuated at the grocery store. It hadn’t take long at all for Kaneki to completely consume his mind. After only a few brief interactions, all thoughts of catching the Professor had been pushed aside in favor of working to gain Eyepatch’s trust, in favor of trying to grasp the ghoul’s enthralling philosophy and of exploring their fragile relationship (which he _still_ wasn’t sure how to define).

In short, Hide had let himself get distracted. Not that he regretted it; in fact, he was tremendously pleased with the way things had turned out. Sure, their relationship was still shaky, but he was confident they would only continue to grow closer, and that Kaneki would eventually open up to him. Maybe one day he’d even return the full extent of his feelings? Hopefully?

Hide sighed, rubbing the side of his face angrily. Here he was, supposed to be brainstorming about the case, only to get sidetracked by thoughts of Kaneki again. Akira really was right.

He didn’t know why he was so surprised. Akira was _always_ right.

Grumbling, Hide started to push his cart again, realizing he’d stopped in the middle of the aisle after an old woman asked him to move. He should have been done shopping an hour ago, but he was in such a daze today that he kept losing track of time, getting absorbed in his own unusually pessimistic thoughts.

Knowing Akira, she had probably already started their meeting without him, which, Hide supposed, was fine by him. He was too out of it to really focus anyway. He only felt bad that Kaneki had to deal with her and her cold, misdirected anger alone. He knew she made him feel uncomfortable.

Hopefully Amon would be enough of a diplomat to keep things civil….

After discovering Otori’s human status, they’d had to go back to square one, and Akira was not pleased.

She’d completely chewed him out, to the point that Hide could honestly say he’d never been so afraid of her in his life, and Akira was a pretty terrifying woman.

The worst part was that all of her arguments had _basis_ , and only worked to augment his feelings of self-doubt and disappointment.

She was right; he had been behaving in an exceptionally dangerous and stupid way; he was making deadly choices that affected not only himself, but all of the people around him as well, and had the potential to bring not only his own, but _all_ of their lives crumbling to the ground. It was really only a matter of time, as Hide was coming to realize.

But what’s done is done. It wasn’t like he could go back in time and _un-meet_ Kaneki. He didn’t _decide_ to to fall for a ghoul, the same way he didn’t _decide_ to be an investigator (or not really, anyway). These things just happened, spontaneously, accidentally, without much prior thought. Life couldn’t be predicted; sometimes you just had to roll with the punches.

Of course, Akira would probably disagree.

“Excuse me, son. I can’t reach the noodles.”

Hide jerked, realizing he’d stopped in the middle of the aisle again as the same elderly woman from before politely asked him to move. Man, he really needed to get his head out of the clouds and finish :re’s grocery list before he angered not only Akira but _Touka_ too. Talk about a couple of scary women.

Muttering a small apology, Hide maneuvered around the old woman, marching quickly down the aisle. He needed to grab a few more packages of sugar before he could head over to :re ( ~~though the cowardly part of him would rather spend the rest of the day hiding in the grocery store~~ ).

Absorbed in his apprehensive thoughts, Hide failed to pay proper attention as he turned the corner, which unfortunately resulted in him ramming his shopping cart directly into a young woman with a loud crash. The girl tumbled to the floor with a shriek, a box of sugary cereal flying from her hands and hitting a middle aged man in the back of the head.

_Oh shit._

“Oh shit! Sorry miss I wasn’t paying attention! Are you okay?” Hide said frantically, immediately snapping back into reality and abandoning his cark to kneel down next to the woman, offering a hand to help her up.

The girl laughed breathlessly, seeming to be slightly dazed as she reached up and took Hide’s hand. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I wasn’t really paying attention either, so don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“You sure?” Hide frowned, helping her to her feet.

“I’m sure.” The woman reaffirmed with a good-natured grin. “I may be a little bruised tomorrow, but no harm done.”

Hide rubbed the back of his neck remorsefully, though her light smile did help put him at ease. “Okay well… I guess I’ll just – “

“Hey do you work for the CCG?”

“ _Wha_ – um.” Hide blinked, taken aback. It wasn’t often he got called out like that on the street, and it was even _less_ often that the people calling him out did so with such childlike curiosity alight in their eyes. “I, uh,” Hide laughed nervously, giving in. “What gave it away?”

The woman’s eyes grew impossibly brighter. “So you _are_ a CCG agent? Wow I’m getting better at guessing.”

Hide raised an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth quirking upward. “Got a fascination with the CCG, huh?”

The girl chuckled. “Oh you have _no_ idea. And to answer your previous question, I could tell by the way you’re dressed and also because your briefcase, while fashionable, has that tell-tale little CCG release button that let me know you are no ordinary businessman.”

“Wow, good eye.” Hide complimented. “Where did you learn to tell the difference?”

“It was a few years ago, actually.” The woman smiled, casually flipping a lock of messy emerald hair over her shoulder. She was rather beautiful, in that lazy, effortless kind of way. “I was doing research for a new novel I was writing so I interviewed a few investigators.”

“Wow you’re a novelist, huh? Must have been a pretty grim book if you were writing about ghouls.”

“Oh it is.” The woman assured with a smile.

Hide would have continued the conversation, but something about the girl’s manner of speaking had him on edge. There was a glint in her eye, an innocent sparkle of curiosity. Her mouth was curved in a friendly smile, light and happy. Her posture was relaxed, open. By all means, she appeared to be the living embodiment of childlike wonder.

But her voice, her choice of words, set off Hide’s instinctual alarm system. He suddenly wanted to leave.

“Yeah, haha I bet. I don’t read much so I prob – “

The woman abruptly stuck out her hand. “Takatsuki Sen. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Hide blinked. “Takatsuki… Sen….” He took her hand slowly, and the woman seemed to find the absolutely perplexed expression hilarious, because she laughed again, though not in a mean way. Instead it seemed friendly, charming. “You write horror novels.”

“Yes I do. Hence writing about ghouls.” She giggled, removing her hand. She must have gotten this reaction often.

“Ah yeah… that makes sense.” Hide said slowly, a wry smile returning to his face. She was a horror writer, Kaneki’s _favorite_ horror writer. That explained the general creepy vibe he was getting from her earlier. Hide relaxed.

Takatsuki smiled patiently, tossing up a hand expectantly as if she were waiting for him to say something else.

“Ah right! I’m Hi – er, Akimoto Daichi. Nice to meet you.” Hide answered, opting not to give his real name. While the woman seemed nice enough his internal alarms were still blinking red, and he thought it would be best to play it safe for once (especially considering how messed up his life had already become). 

“Likewise Akimoto-san. While I have you here, would you mind if I asked you a few questions? My book is in its final stages of editing and I’d like to be as accurate as possible before it hits the shelves.”

“Uhhh, sure I don’t mind. Though I don’t know if I’m really the best person to ask.”

“Nonsense I’m sure you’ll do fine. We can even keep shopping while we talk, if you’d like.”

“Um, sure.” Hide nodded, starting to push his cart again. “This is so weird. Two days ago I was at your presentation at SHU. I had to leave early for work though so I didn’t get to hear you speak.”

“Seriously? How odd.” Takatsuki laughed. “That’s a shame. I had lots of interesting things to say.”

“I’m sure.”

"Anyways, how do you feel about ghouls?" Takatsuki asked, stepping into line beside him as they strolled down the aisle. Hide looked at her strangely. 

"How do I feel about ghouls? I thought this impromptu interview was going to be a bit more technical."

Takatsuki's grin widened to the point that it almost seemed predatory. Hide shook his head, dismissing the thought as leftover uneasiness from before he found out she was a horror writer.

"I've spoken to plenty of people about the "technicalities". What I want to do, as a writer, is fill my prose with as much emotion as possible, and in order to do that I need to examine the feelings of real people. So yes, I'm asking you, as an investigator, how you feel about ghouls."

Intriguing, though not overtly odd, Hide supposed. "Alright. I think that ghouls are just really unlucky people." 

"Is that it?"

Hide chuckled uncomfortably. "I mean... yeah. I don't know. It's never right to take a life but that gets more complicated when you literally _need to_ in order to live. But there are other options, I think." 

"Fascinating. So you kill for a living, but you feel bad about it?"

" _What_ \- um, I guess you could put it that way." Hide said, starting to pull several bags of sugar off the shelf beside him, briefly looking down to consult the shopping list Touka had given him. "I just... there are a lot of bad ghouls, you know. The ones that kill more than necessary to survive. The ones that seem to take pleasure in it. Overall, ghouls do more harm than good. But, like in every species, good ghouls exist. I think its probably really hard for those ghouls to make it in this world but... that's just the way it is. I do what I have to to survive and so do they. If that makes sense." 

"I understand. You've given me some things to think about." Takatsuki hummed, skipping a little bit in a somewhat silly manner as Hide started walking again. "Do you think the CCG is corrupt?"

_What the hell?_

"...no?"

"But you look at ghouls as victims of the world." 

"I didn't say that." 

"You said that its really hard for ghouls to make it in this world, but that they're only doing what they need to do to survive. By that manner of thinking, you must feel that the ghouls are wronged, and considering that the CCG is the only organization actively posing a threat to the lives of ghouls, that means you think the CCG is immoral." 

"No I... the CCG is very important." Hide said, unconsciously standing straighter in an attempt to regain some sort of ground in the conversation. "Ghouls take thousands of human lives every year. If we didn't stop them, they'd run us, and them themselves, to extinction. The CCG is doing the right thing by investigating and bringing down _murderers_." 

"But what about these so called ' _good ghouls_ ' you were speaking of." 

"I was speaking in hypotheticals." 

Takatsuki squinted, and her voice was laced with a mix of sentiments that Hide wasn't sure how to define. Her eyes were doubtful; the tilt of her head, curious; the curve of her lips, all knowing.

"Where you?"

Hide's response was slightly choked. "Yes." 

Takatsuki raised a disbelieving eyebrow, smirk growing. "I'm sure you were." 

"Mhm." 

"So let's recap... you feel that some but not all ghouls are victims but still think the CCG is doing good. You think most ghouls cause problems and kill and killing is bad yet you kill for a profession but your killing is justified because the ghouls you kill kill more people than you do except that there lies the possibility that some ghouls don't kill nearly as much as other ghouls, and these ghouls you classify as 'good ghouls'?"

"Uh...?"

"So therein lies the possibility that some of these non-killer ghouls could be victimized by the CCG and because some of these ghouls may be 'innocent' that would make you the real killer?"

"I guess..." 

"And how does that make _you_ feel?"

"I don't know. It sucks I guess but I mean... what else is there to do? Humans need to protect themselves."

"So the knowledge that innocent people are getting hurt by your work, sometimes by your own hand, does not bother you?"

"Well when you phrase it like that...." 

"What if you knew a ghoul?"

"What do you mean?"

"Personally. What if you knew a ghoul personally? Would that change how you viewed your job?"

"Um...." Hide looked around as if searching for an answer in the space around him. It wasn't often that someone managed to render him speechless, but Takatsuki's questions were a little too spot on for his liking, and they were making him feel a bit uneasy. 

She seemed to sense his apprehension, but instead of backing off like any sane person would do, Takatsuki's grin grew wider, a flash of something dangerous lurking beneath the surface of her emerald eyes. "I wonder what would happen... if investigators and ghouls started getting along. How long do you think something like that could last?"

Hide suddenly felt cold, all his doubts washing over him in a frigid arctic wave. 

He kept his expression neutral. "I don't know. Not that long, I imagine. Though I don't know why an investigator would ever knowingly befriend a ghoul." 

Takatsuki twirled a stray lock of hair, eyes wide and owl-like and unblinking and locked on his. "I don't know either. But it's an interesting concept, don't you think?"

"Hmm I suppose." Hide hummed, casually steering them towards the check out line. He wanted to leave without alerting her to his discomfort or verifying any of her dangerously accurate suspicions. "Is that what you wrote about?"

Sen skipped, her hands fiddling with a pen she had pulled from behind her ear. "Oh, darling, not at all. That sounds much too cheerful. I'm a horror writer, remember?"

"So what did you write about then?"

Takatsuki smiled enigmatically. "You'll have to read and find out." 

"I'm not much of a reader." Hide admitted, grateful for the change in topic. 

"No? That's too bad. You seem smart, but I understand reading's not for everyone. Especially the books that I write. They seem to hit a little too close to home for some people. After all, pain is a part of life, is it not?" She mused, finally breaking her disturbingly prolonged eye contact to gaze off into the distance. 

"Yeah...." 

"I have to head out now, but thank you for answering my questions." Takatsuki said, appearing to be genuinely disappointed to part ways. 

"No problem...." Hide responded. "I'll see you around." 

Takatsuki's smile was feral. "See you around, Nagachika-san." 

* * *

The words ' _you're late_ ' were, predictably, the first words out of Akira's mouth when Hide finally burst through the door into the sitting room at :re, though the hard look on her face quickly turned from angry to apprehensive when she took in his appearance. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I got a little held up at the grocery store." Hide answered, waving a hand dismissively. He fiddled with his bag, ducking his face to hide his undoubtedly petrified expression from the rest of the group. Despite the long drive from the grocery store to :re, he _still_ hadn't managed to fully reign in the feeling of unbridled terror that had overcome him the moment Takatsuki Sen had said his name.

"Hide... are you okay?" Kaneki was the first to express his concern, turning away from Amon and Akira in an attempt to get a better look at his face.

Hide refused to meet his gaze, instead nodding and offering another dismissive "yeah I'm fine" before taking a seat at the table. "So what did I miss?"

Amon, Akira, and Kaneki exchanged various looks of concern before Amon shrugged and decided to move on with the discussion. "We were just discussing new possible courses of action, considering your one and only suspect turned out to be human. As much as it pains me to say it, we may need to wait for The Professor to strike again so that we can collect new evidence and follow new leads. The trail is pretty much dead and we haven't been able to come up with any new leads. There's always the end of term party that Kaneki's friend Yoriko mentioned to you before, but I'm not really sure attending it would be worthwhile. At best you'd be able to profile a few new shady figures. At worst, we'd alert The Professor to our presence on campus and accidentally give away our identities. I think the risks outweigh the possible benefits on this one." 

"I agree with Amon." Kaneki said, flicking his attention quickly from Amon to Hide, the concern in his eyes replaced by stoic professionalism. "I have people all over the ward, and none of them have heard anything about The Professor. Yoriko did invite us to that end of term party to investigate, but considering we have no more leads... it would be pointless to attend. I don't really know how the CCG works but... I don't think you're going to be making any progress with this case for a while. If I see or hear of anything suspicious going on in the ward I'll let you know. But otherwise...." Kaneki let his thought go unfinished, lifting a single shoulder in apathetic defeat. 

"So that's it? We're just giving up, then?" Hide asked tiredly. He put an elbow on the table, resting his head on his hand. "Professor is all but confirmed to be a fucking rapist. Not to mention the sheer number of victims he claims each month. And we just... have nothing?"

Hide pouted. He knew he sounded dangerously close to whining, but he couldn't help it. The stress was starting to get to him, and his encounter with Sen Takatsuki was playing over and over in the back of his mind. 

Kaneki looked remorseful and reached out a hand, almost as if to offer a reassuring touch, but seemed to think better of it mid-action and lowered his hand to his side. Hide wished he'd gone through with it. 

"There's really nothing we can do." Akira stated blankly, fingers laced together and resting firmly on the table in front of her. "Looks like we'll have to take a new case and let this one go cold for a while." 

Hide sighed, running a hand through his hair. The other three were all looking at him expectantly, and while he usually had something to say, today he was coming up empty. He scrunched his face in thought, looking back and forth between Kaneki, Amon, and Akira respectively while trying, and once again, failing, to come up with a solution. 

"Yeah I guess we really are out of options.... Though I really don't think it would hurt to scope out the party. I mean, does Yoriko have any suspicions? She's the one that _goes_ to the damn school after all." Hide addressed Kaneki. 

The ghoul shrugged. "She hasn't said anything to me. I really don't think she has any ideas. Besides, Touka would kill us if we got her any more involved in this than she already is."

"Fair enough."

"Although," Amon cut in, "Going to the party would be safer for the other ghouls than it would be for us. Kaneki already has a fearsome reputation throughout the ward. If Professor or any of his affiliates were to discover that _we_ were on to them, then we'd have a problem. But if they thought _The_   _Eyepatch_ was after them, they might move wards, and that alone would give us a new list of suspects. All we'd have to do would be look at the list of end of semester transfers." 

Hide immediately perked up. "Hey... that's not a bad idea." 

"What exactly are you suggesting, Amon?" Akira asked, looking skeptical but not altogether opposed to the idea. 

"I'm suggesting that we _do_ go to the party, send in Hide and Kaneki and maybe Touka if she'd be willing, and then try to single out any ghouls and spread the word that Eyepatch's gang has been clearing out other ghouls in the ward, and that he was after The Professor next."

"I could wear my ghoul disguise again!" Hide exclaimed. 

"Oh god no." Kaneki muttered. "This is a terrible idea." 

"I agree with Kaneki." Akira stated. "And not just because of Hideyoshi's poor fashion choices. I don't think this will get us anywhere. If anything, it may alert the ghoul population to the fact that Kaneki is working with the CCG now, and that could be just as dangerous for him as it is for us."

Hide blinked, processing his partner's statement. 

Slowly, a sly grin split across his face. "Did you just defend Kaneki?" He asked. 

"What? No. I'm being logical." 

"Uhuh." 

" _Anyway_." Akira said, shooting Hide a look of annoyance. "What do you think, Eyepatch?"

"I'm... not really willing to put my name out there on the off chance that Professor will get scared and run away. So that's out of the question. Although, I don't suppose attending the party could hurt as long as we keep a low profile. And it _is_ close to the time that Professor likes to hunt each month, so we might end up saving some lives if we do decide to go. I don't know... it's up to you." 

Amon nodded. "Well if that's how you feel then I suppose you might as well go. Considering Akira and Hideyoshi will be out of a case for a while, anyway, you have the time. Might as well take the chance." 

"So you're just going to send them in without a plan?" Akira asked incredulously.

"I guess so. Hide tends to work better without structure anyway, so maybe we'll get something out of this." 

Akira sighed, rubbing her forehead. "If you think so... then I guess it's worth a try. I don't think I could pass for a college student, though. So I think I'll just sit in my car. Maybe we should hook you two up with some microphones so I can listen in on the operation."

"In that case, I might as well come too." Amon stated. "You can listen in on Hide's wire and I'll listen to Kaneki's." 

"What about Touka and Yoriko?" Kaneki asked suddenly. "I'm sure if we're going that Touka will insist on coming too, especially if there's a chance that Professor will show up." 

"We can give her a wire too." 

"Alright." 

"So we have a plan?" Hide asked, the little burst of hope helping to lift his mood. 

"I think so." Amon verified. 

"Great!"

"Hide?"

"Yes?"

Amon leveled him with a serious, scrutinizing look, and the small bit of hope in Hide's chest shriveled and died instantly. 

"...yes?" Hide tried again, growing uncomfortable with the silence. Akira and Kaneki both looked as confused as he felt. 

"Are you sure you're okay? When you walked in here...."

"I'm - look," Hide said, and his fatigue came back in full, making him grow irritable with frustration. "I'm just stressed about the case, okay? That and... like I said, something weird happened at the grocery store today." 

"You never said something strange happened. You just said that you got held up." Akira pointed out with a frown. "Hide, what happened?"

"I - okay I know this is going to sound really stupid - but I think Takatsuki Sen has been stalking me." 

That surprised a laugh out of Kaneki, who stuttered a dubious "W-what?" before meeting Hide's panicked eyes and realizing that he wasn't joking. 

"Wait, Hide, you're serious?"

"Yeah, I... I sort of accidentally ran into her and then we started talking. She asked me if I was an investigator and... she gave me a reason for how she figured it out but... I don't know. And then she knew my name without me telling her. I... think she might be a ghoul?" Hide admitted, scratching the side of his face as he played through the experience once more. The more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed. 

Amon shook his head. "I wouldn't worry too much about that, Hide. You're probably just nervous about the case like you said. And I can assure you that Takatsuki Sen is human. She's been inside the CCG before, a few years ago when she came to interview me and Shinohara about ghouls for the plot of her new book. If she were a ghoul, she would have set off the alarms when she passed through the RC scanners at the front entrance. I remember her being rather odd, too, so I wouldn't be surprised if she gave you a strange vibe." 

Beside him, Kaneki made a noise, drawing Hide's attention towards him. He seemed to be lost in thought, his eyes squinted slightly, him mouth pulled in a tight frown. 

Hide's staring also drew Amon's attention to the ghoul, who took one look at this expression and asked, "You alright, Eyepatch?"

"Hm?" Kaneki jerked, as if pulled from a trance. "What? Yeah. Yeah I'm fine just... thinking is all. Amon-san... you said Takatsuki was able to walk through the RC gates at the CCG...?" Kaneki inquired lightly, his voice slightly higher than usual, indicating nervousness.

"Yes. Why?"

"I... it's nothing." Kaneki said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Akira frowned. "It's not nothing if you asked about it. Spit it out."

Hide shot her a disapproving look, which she readily ignored.  

Kaneki gulped, seeming to take a moment to brace himself. "It's just... I've been inside the CCG before." 

A pause. 

"You're not serious." Akira said, voice dropping to a monotone. 

"...I am." 

"How? That's not possible." Amon interjected, exchanging a look with Akira as if to verify that it was, in fact, impossible. "The gates detect elevated levels of RC cells. There's no way."

"It didn't go off. I'm just... I mean maybe it's nothing, maybe it was just a fluke or a defective gate but... I wouldn't discredit anyone from being a ghoul just because they were able to walk through...." 

"Fuck." 

"...yeah." 

"Alright well... Hide don't worry about this right now. We should focus on the Professor, after all we _know_ he's dangerous." Amon stated, though there was uncertainty in his expression. "Let's just... let's just focus on the party for now. I believe we have some planning to do."

"You're right. Hopefully we'll figure something out." Hide nodded. "And if not... well I guess we'll just have to beg for a new case."  

 


	16. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Touka Kirishima: Voice of Reason 2k17

The sky was painted a weird mix of pink and yellow and red, the setting sun reflecting off of Hide’s hair and making it look more orange than it really was. A few strands would shine gold when he turned his head and the glare from the light hit at just the right angle – like fire. Kaneki tilted his head. He wondered if Hide was a natural blond or if he had to dye it to turn it such a lively, inexact color.

“Mmm whatcha lookin’ at? Did a bird poop in my hair?” Hide said, interrupting Kaneki’s train of thought, briefly running a hand through his offensive mop of light before unceremoniously shoving his hands back into the pockets of his sweatshirt and knocking his shoulder against Kaneki’s.

Kaneki opted not to respond. Instead he kept his face straight, holding eye-contact while he rather immaturely decided to kick his companion in the shin before inclining his head forward once again like nothing happened. Hide’s laugh was like honey.

“Aw, is someone still pissy about the movie?”

“It was horrible.”

“Come on! It was interesting!”

“So bad.”

“You weren’t even _watching_! You brought out your book like barely ten minutes in. The people behind us started throwing popcorn to get you to put your light out. You totally disrupted the entire movie theater, dude.”

“Good. That means that that terrible excuse for cinema claimed a few less victims. Those people should be thanking me for livening things up.”

“You’re terrible.”

“Thanking me, Hide. They should all be thanking me.”

“The absolute _worst_.”

“I’m never letting you drag me to a movie again.”

At that, Hide let out an indignant squawk, actually managing to look moderately offended. “ _Noooo,_ okay next time I promise to pick something you’ll like. Let’s see… something dark, obviously. With a convoluted plot. Sinister villains. Struggling heroes. Hey I hear they’re making a My Little Pony mov – ”

“I _can’t_!” Kaneki exclaimed in false frustration, responding to Hide’s shit-eating grin with his own scowl of adamant disapproval. “I swear to god if you make me go see the fucking _My Little Pony_ movie with you, I’m going to spontaneously combust.”

“That would _really_ disrupt the movie theater.”

Kaneki sighed, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. “Why do I like you?”

“You like me?” Hide perked up, his grin as bright and sunny as the _actual_ sun shining behind him. Sunlight squared.

“No.”

“Ah come on ~ admit it.” Hide said, happy grin turning sly. He turned to Kaneki slowly, eyes sparkling. Kaneki was suddenly on edge. “You _like_ me.”

“Against my will.”

The human took a step forward. The ghoul took a step back.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

Kaneki blinked, feeling a little stunned by the turn of events as his back touched against the trunk of the tree behind him. He really shouldn’t have been surprised though, he supposed. Hide was a shameless flirt.

A shameless flirt that was stepping into his personal space with that stupid smug face of his that Kaneki hated to like.

“I like….” Kaneki trailed off, very much _disliking_ the way his heart was thumping in his chest – a feeling he was _used_ to associating with fear, though Hide somehow always managed to make him feel both like he was on the verge of panicking and totally comfortable at the same time. The bastard.

“Go on.” His voice was teasing.  
“I like… your eyes.”

Hide blinked, pulling back like he wasn’t quiet expecting that. Kaneki’s confidence boosted, strangely, pleased in his ability to take the investigator by surprise.

“Really?” Hide laughed. “They’re just brown.”

“Mhmm like melted chocolate. Or homemade brownies.”

“And all those human foods are appealing to you because…?” Hide questioned sardonically, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

Kaneki’s confidence plummeted as quickly as it had risen, his smile faltering. Right. He didn’t know anything about human food. Or rather – he _shouldn’t_ know anything about human food. He was a Just a Ghoul. A Normal Ghoul. As far as Hide knew. As far as Hide would _ever_ know.

Another reminder that this – whatever they had – couldn’t last.

“At least I know you aren’t planning to eat me.” The human joked, seeming to sense the shift in mood and backtracking in an attempt to lighten it again. He stepped in even closer, daring to put a hand on Kaneki’s elbow, rubbing his upper arm gently through the cloth of his sweater.

Kaneki ducked his head, mentally shaking himself before he fell into another weird panic and started spiraling. He tugged on Hide’s sweatshirt.

“I doubt any ghoul would find you appetizing with this color scheme.” He quipped.

“What, ghouls are allergic to pink?”

“Weird pastelly-pink on fully grown men? Yes.”

“Hey, don’t hit me with your societally influenced gentrified color prejudices. Men can wear pink.”

Kaneki hummed, leaning back against the tree again. “I’m surprised you went for that instead of suggesting that the CCG modify their uniforms to a pastel pink in order to repel the ghoul population or something along the lines of having found our species’ weakness.”

Hide looked decidedly disappointed in himself. “You’re right. That’s way better. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“That is indeed a question.”  

Hide blinked away his expression of loss of identity, cheeky smile back in place like it never left. “Good think you’re here to keep me focused on the important things.” He leaned forward, achingly slowly, brown eyes crinkling at the corners. Kaneki’s mouth went dry.

“Mmhm.” The ghoul shifted, uncomfortable under Hide's stare. The mood kept changing. He wanted to move it back into safer territory ( ~~he really didn’t~~ ). “Hey Hide? Maybe we should… actually talk about that.”

“Talk about what?” The investigator asked softly, continuing to shift forward, hands reaching down to interlace their fingers.  

Kaneki let him.

“You know… _this_.” His voice dropped to a whisper, heart beating in his throat when he felt Hide’s breath on his cheek.

“Counter proposal.” Hide murmured, though the playful note never left his voice. “We make out instead.”

Kaneki was doomed.

 

* * *

 

 _Her hair was getting longer; she would need to cut it soon._ Touka thought with a scowl, examining the ends of her hair between two pinched fingers. It was nearing closing time, and most of :re’s frequent customer’s had long since cleared out, save one group of students currently packing up their belongings, idly chattering between one another as the window behind them glared obnoxiously thanks to the angle of the setting sun.

“Onee-chan, how hard were the Kamii entrance exams?” Hinami asked abruptly, leaning over the counter she had been occupied with wiping down a second ago, deep brown eyes alight with sudden curiosity.

Touka flicked her gaze away from her split ends and redirected her attention to the bright-eyed youth currently trying and failing to lessen the look of puppy-like admiration on her face. “Hard.” She responded after a pause. “It’s a little early to be thinking about college, though, don’t you think?”

“Maybe. But if the tests are hard like you said, maybe I should start studying early?”

“Do you want to go to Kamii, Hinami?”

The girl blushed, suddenly bashful despite her open questioning. “I mean… if you and onii-chan liked it so much then it must be a good school. And I want to be like you.”

Something compressed in Touka’s heart, but she fought to keep the warm feeling in her chest where it belonged, maintaining her straight face save for a light softening in her eyes. Instead of acknowledging the feeling, Touka reached over to ruffle Hinami’s hair, earning an indignant squeal of protest. “Don’t pick a school just because of us. You’re smart – with some more hard work you could get in anywhere. So you should go wherever’s best for you.” Touka affirmed, removing her hand from Hinami’s head and skipping around the counter to pick up the empty coffee mugs left behind by the now departed students.

“What if wherever you went is best for me?”

Touka turned her back, busying herself with washing dishes to hide her smile. “Then by all means, go there. Just don’t get so far ahead of yourself. You have three more years until university.”

“Would you help me study?”

“Ask Kaneki for that.”

“Ask me what?” Almost as if on cue, Kaneki strolled in through the front door, stupid dorky reading glasses sitting contentedly on the bridge of his nose and obligatory classic novel tucked under his arm.

“To help me study for – “

“ _You!_ ” Touka cut Hinami off, abandoning the half-washed dishes to point an accusatory finger at her no-longer-relaxed friend. An abundance of negative emotions roared to life at the sight of him.

Touka had been trying _, really trying_ , not to get too involved in Kaneki’s life choices – he was their leader, after all, and if he thinks that working with a bunch of doves will help keep the peace, it wasn’t her place to argue. However, it seemed to her, more and more as the days went by, that Kaneki’s decision making process had been corrupted. He was making choices based on _emotion_ , and that rarely ended well. This whole thing felt like the set up to just another tragedy, in Touka’s opinion. “ _Where the hell have you been all day?_ ”

_And it was all that blond moron’s fault._

In response to her sudden outburst, Kaneki jumped, clueless look of panic morphing into sheepishness. “Ah, I was reading at the park.”

“By yourself?”

“Um… yes.”

“Oh yeah? Then what the hell is this?” Touka demanded, purposefully marching over to Kaneki and rubbing at his neck. Kaneki yelped, startled, and stumbled backwards, hard-cover book thumping against the floor.

“Nothing! It-it’s nothing! Touka stop!”

“Aha! Yeah that’s what I fucking thought.” Touka declared, pulling her concealer covered hand away to reveal the fading pink mark on her friend’s neck.

Kaneki whined in humiliation, face going red. “How did you even _notice_ that?”

At that, Touka’s expression turned smug. “What you think I don’t have my fair share in experience covering hickies? You think you can lie to me? Think the fuck again. I have years of practice in using make-up, whereas you have none, and it shows.” Touka rolled her eyes, as if to say ‘ _pathetic men’_ , before grabbing Kaneki by the front of his sweater to prevent any possible escape attempt before narrowing her eyes distrustfully. “So you’re hiding things from me now, for the sake of that useless shifty buffoon?”

“He’s not that bad….”

“He’s a walking train-wreck and you know it. What were you guys even doing? Where did you go?”

“We went to the park and then saw a movie….”

“Wow, that is so high school. I’m sorry I asked.”

“Tou _kaaaaaa._ ”

“Wait.” If at all possible, Touka’s eyes narrowed further. “Where did you get the concealer?”

“Hide… brought it.”

“So he planned that he would need it, then? He planned everything?”

“I don’t… I guess? I don’t know! Touka, please let me go….” Kaneki begged, utterly mortified, his muscles going slack, almost as if he was trying to _melt_ out of Touka’s grasp.

“ _Of course,_ he did. Scheming douchebag.”  
“ _Toouuukaaaa_ -“

“ _Stupid plotting scheming dove_ – ”

“ – just – could you let me go, please? Come on, Hinami’s right there….”

“What do you even see in him?” Touka asked, abruptly releasing her grip on the front of his shirt and taking a step back, expression unreadable.

“I….” Kaneki shuffled uncomfortablely, shifting his eyes from Touka’s impassive face to where Hinami was leaning against the counter in rapt attention. “I dunno he’s just…. I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.” Touka stated blandly. You _don’t know_ why you’re letting him drag you around like a puppy on a leash? You _don’t know_ why you let him drag us all into this. You _don’t know_ what you see in him, why he’s worth all the trouble he’s causing. You _don’t know? Kaneki_.” Touka exclaimed, a bit of color coming to her cheeks in her disbelieving anger.

Touka hadn’t done anything the day Kaneki came home saying that an investigator had found :re, but wanted to team up with them instead of eliminating them. Touka hadn’t said anything the day after Kaneki had been carried home, black-out drunk and speckled with flecks of blood. Touka hadn’t argued (at least not too strongly) when the rest of The Buffoon’s team had visited :re. Touka hadn’t protested their written contract, Kaneki’s newfound interest in investigation, or the mildly alarming group of _ghoul investigators_ frequenting their _ghoul café_. But Touka couldn’t keep silent any longer.

She drew a line at sucking face, apparently.

“No – I – I don’t know okay! I just… get caught up in everything and he… Hide is….” Kaneki trailed off, gray eyes clouding over, growing distant. “He makes me… feel….”

“And what if he’s using us? Using _you_?”

“He – he’s not…” Kaneki’s tone was uncertain. “He isn’t Rize.”

“Are you sure?”

Kaneki stilled, body going rigid in an instant. His already distant eyes completely glazed over, wide and staring attentively at nothing in particular, disconnected from reality. From behind the counter Hinami looked between Kaneki and Touka with worry.

After giving him a little while think, Touka grew impatient. “Kaneki, _are you sure?_ ” She insisted.

His response was low, barely a whisper, and if it weren’t for her enhanced hearing, Touka’s not sure she would have heard it at all. “No….” He swallowed, doubt swimming behind his eyes. “I’m not sure.”

Touka exhaled slowly, trying to tame the new burst of rage rising in her chest at the admission. “Then why?”

Kaneki shifted, some emotion flickering behind his eyes as they blinked back to life. Still, he averted his gaze, evidently finding his shoes to be much more interesting at the moment. “I… want to be happy.”

“And dating a dove is going to make you happy?” Touka said flatly. “If you wanted to date by all means date, but did you really have to pick a fuckin’– ”

“We’re – we aren’t dating!”

“Oh, yeah? What’s this again?” Touka asked, reaching up to flick Kaneki’s neck again.

“ _Touka!_ ” Kaneki’s mortification returned tenfold.

“What about Yoriko, huh?”

“I… what?”

“What about Yoriko? I mean, for fuck’s sake! You’re dragging her into the middle of this – this catastrophe just so that you can make some new friends? What is this, Kaneki? I mean… seriously. I could understand before. I know what we stand for, I understand defending the ideals that :re is built on. I don’t… _none_ of us want to be killers, and I want to do something about the world that – that paints this awful picture of ghouls like we have any say in our nature. I want to fight the ghouls that perpetuate these stereotypes. The ones that kill lots and kill for fun. I get that. I just… I don’t get _this_. I mean. I did initially. I understood the weird position that that asshole put you in. But now? I feel like you’re forgetting our mission, forgetting reality.”

Kaneki looked up, finally casting Touka a brief, timid look before glancing away again. “I mean….” He started hesitantly. “Would that really be such a bad thing?”

“The hell do you mean?”

“I’m not going to pretend that I ever wanted to be this. I didn’t ask for the responsibility and neither did you. I know… I know you’re just going with it because it’s what Yoshimura taught and because, for some reason, everyone decided that I would be the best person to lead this… whatever this is. But I didn’t want it. I didn’t even want to be a ghoul, and neither did you or Hinami.” Kaneki said, gesturing to the girl tapping her fingers nervously against the glass display case in the background. “This – all of this – it just _happened_. It just happened and we had to do what we had to do to survive. And now we’re living and fighting to keep things the way they are and I’m endlessly grateful for what you’ve all done for me but… that doesn’t make it any less painful. It doesn’t dampen the pain of _what could have been_. I wanted to finish college, but I’ll never get to do that because I can’t, you know, suddenly _reappear_ without an explanation. You and Hinami and Nishiki… you all got to follow your dreams and I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy that you’re working to get your teaching license and that Hinami’s finally enrolled in real school. I’m happy Nishiki managed to reconnect with Kimi. But I’m also… sad or… I don’t know… maybe I’m a little bit jealous of all of you too. So would it really be a bad thing if I… if I lost myself in this temporary reprieve from reality for a little while?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Touka responded fervently. “It is bad! You’re right, none of us chose this. But we don’t get to choose. That’s not how life works. But isn’t that what we’re working towards? A world where we _do_ get a choice? Where we don’t have to hide? Where we can make normal life decisions like the humans without having to worry about it all being ripped away from us without a single warning? What you’re saying right now is completely irresponsible and frankly kind of selfish. _You_ are _Eyepatch_. You are the leader of the 15 th ward. You’re a famous fucking ghoul, Kaneki, so whether you like it or not your actions matter, because people look up to you. You’re absolutely right it _is_ a damn big responsibility, and maybe you didn’t sign up for it, but it’s _yours_ whether you like it or not. So stop being such a baby and take a look around for a minute would you? We’re walking on thin ice.

Touka threw out her hands in an expression of exasperation. “I mean, come on. I get that you want to help these doves or whatever, but I think you’re going too far. I mean, is it really necessary for you to be working with them so closely? It isn’t your job. And now Yoriko’s involved in this? I get that this ghoul goes to her school. I get that she was already kind of involved considering the CCG was suspecting one of her friends. But this party that you’re going to investigate has nothing to do with anything. Your stupid friends at the CCG don’t even have any solid leads; you’re just going along with it because you like being with that blond moron.” The girl finished with a sigh. “The fact is you’ve gotten too emotionally invested in this. I… you mean well. I get that. You’ve always had a dangerously, stupidly, big heart so like… I really can’t say I didn’t see this coming or whatever. I… god I’m so bad at explaining myself. Look, Kaneki, what I’m trying to say is that I _lo_ – I care a lot about you, okay? So no matter… no matter what happens we’re in this together. I’m there for you, we’re _all_ going to be there for you…. But I need to know that you’ve thought this through. I don’t want you to get hurt but I don’t want any of us to get hurt either.” Touka relented. It seemed she had finally run out of venom.

Kaneki let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, mind swimming despite the relatively stunned expression on his face. Touka silently observed him, her own face wiped of her anger in favor of the safe neutral expression she was currently wearing. Her one visible eye held his, almost daring him to argue.

Though, instead of biting back, Kaneki’s entire posture slumped in defeat. Touka watched as his stunned expression slowly morphed into that horrid look of utter _self-loathing_ that she hated so much. For a moment, she felt guilty for being the one to bring him down, but then again _someone_ had to smack some sense into him. And as usual, that someone was her.

“I… yeah you’re right.” Kaneki surrendered. His voice was hollow. “You’re…. I just get so…. But I’ll….” He paused for a moment, sucking in a sharp breath as if to collect himself. “After this investigation I’ll try to pull away a little bit, okay? I shouldn’t have gotten so… it’s dangerous. You’re right. And I’m not in a position where I can afford to make mistakes.”

At that, Touka’s expression softened. She punched him lightly on the shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

 

* * *

 

“You wanted me to meet you here?”

 _Finally_ , Akira couldn’t help but think, looking up from her phone. It felt like she had been waiting for hours. Scowling, she pushed herself off of the stone wall behind her, pocketing her cell phone and leveling her former partner with her analyzing stare. “You’re late.” She said, not quite succeeding in keeping the irritation out of her voice.

Amon smiled sheepishly. For such a big, handsome guy, he really was kind of awkward. “Sorry, a few of the new rank 3 investigators at our office had some questions and I got held up.” He explained quickly, though his expression turned serious once again as he moved to address the issue at hand. “So what’s this about? Why did you want me to meet you at HQ?”

Akira cast a brief look around the premises, almost as if she were paranoid that someone would overhear them. That alone was enough to set Amon on edge.

“Do you remember what Kaneki said last time we met? About how he was able to walk through the RC scanners without them going off?” Akira started, expression grim. She briefly inclined her head to the left, taking a step onto the street. _Walk with me._

“Yes?” Amon answered, falling into step beside her. “Though I thought we agreed that the most reasonable explanation was that it was some sort of fluke, a faulty gate or something.”

“We did.” Akira admitted, having the decency to look a little guilty. “But I had my doubts. So I did a little research on my own.”

“What do you mean?”

“Amon listen to me; you can’t tell anyone about this. Not yet at least.”

“Akira – what? Not even Nagachika?”

“Actually, this whole side investigation was Hide’s idea. But yes, not even Hide. I don’t want to worry him.” Akira stated, glancing over to meet Amon’s eyes, and her expression filled the senior investigator with a steadfast panic, his entire body going cold in a mix of curiosity and dread. He’d never seen Akira look like that before; her normally self-assured green eyes, instead of appearing calm and composed as the should be, where swimming with some unholy mix of terror and doubt.

“You… don’t want to worry Nagachika? Why? Akira what did you find?”

“Be quiet. I’ll explain in a minute. I want to get inside first.” The woman silenced, vehemently blinking the vulnerability out of her eyes by sheer force of will and pursing her lips. She marched with purpose, dragging Amon into the nearest open café before quickly ordering the cheapest thing on the menu (much to the establishment’s manager’s annoyance) and sliding into the most isolated booth in the room.

Amon followed suit, taking a seat and tapping his fingers nervously against the wooden tabletop.

“So?” He urged, growing impatient in his nervousness. “What is it?”

Casting one last paranoid glance around the coffee shop, Akira reached over to unclip her briefcase, pulling out several pieces of paper.

“What Kaneki said got me thinking… what if there really _was_ something wrong with the RC gates and we had been letting in ghouls to the CCG for years without realizing it? I mentioned this to Hide and he told me to check the manual logs if I was really that concerned. So I… may have broken protocol to sneak into the control rooms at HQ to check out the logs for myself.”

Amon swallowed, tempted to make a joke about Akira’s sudden unprofessionalism but refrained, largely due to the growing sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.

“And?” He said instead. “What did you find?”

Without another word, Akira turned the files over.

Amon took them without a second of hesitation, flipping through them one by one. They appeared to be scans of the RC gate logs for the day. Initially, Amon didn’t see anything wrong with them. The only thing out of the ordinary were the occasional spikes in RC level that Amon assumed were due to ghouls mistakenly walking through the gates and getting outted. Frowning, he put the files down.

“I don’t get it.” He stated frankly. “There are a few weird spikes here and there… but it’s nothing that can’t be explained.” 

“I know.” Akira said, face paling. “It easily could have been just… normal ghouls getting themselves caught. That’s why I decided to check the gate activity at the times of the spikes just to put my mind at ease.”

The temporary relief Amon had felt upon examining the gate logs was gone in an instant. Akira’s eyes had that look again – a sea of panic and confusion and the strangest twinge of _betrayal_ that seemed misplaced for such a loyal investigator.

He forced himself to talk. “And…?”

Akira flipped over her second stack of papers and Amon’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach.

“ _What the fu – ?!_ “

“ _Be quiet!_ ” The blond woman hissed, shooting Amon a terrified glare as a few of the café’s patrons looked over in annoyance.

Amon took a deep breath, trying to school his expression into something more neutral, despite the way his entire face was turning red. “Sorry.” He hissed back, taking his voice down a few notches. “But… are you sure you got the right times?”

“Each photo has a time signature on it, Amon. I’m sure.”

“But that means – ”

“I know what it means.” Akira stated, recollecting all of her evidence and stuffing it back into her suitcase. “We’ve been played. This entire organization, the entire damn CCG, _Commission Counter Ghoul_ , is being run by an entire damn family of them. With high RC counts to boot.”

“I don’t….” Amon sat back in his seat. The images swam behind his mind – each member of the Washuu family walking into work that morning. It was ridiculous. “Does that mean the RC gates are programmed not to recognize certain RC patterns?”

“It seems so.”

“Then what does that make Kaneki?” Amon wondered aloud, trying to redirect the conversation as a means of not letting himself get overwhelmed by the rage bubbling within him. He gripped the edge of the table tightly. His knuckles were turning white. “He didn’t seem to know why the RC scanners didn’t go off for him. If anything he was just as confused as us. Could this mean he’s related to the Washuus?”

“Possibly.” Akira said with a sigh, leaning forward on shaky arms in a poor attempt to regain some of her usually elegant composure. “But that’s not what concerns me the most.”

“What does?” Amon didn’t really want to ask, but the look of urgency written across the younger’s face compelled him to. 

“Remember the _other_ part of our conversation. Right after Hide walked in late, he seemed shaken up by something. Then he told us he met someone at the grocery store – a horror writer, Takatsuki Sen. He suspected her of being a ghoul. We debunked that theory due to the RC scanners. However, Kaneki in turn informed us that _he_ was able to get through the scanners himself.”

“So?”

“So Nagachika’s intuition is rarely wrong. Which implies that, for whatever reason, Hide may _actually_ have a ghoul stalker. But more than that, if its possible for the RC scanners to be wrong, who's to say that there aren't exceptions to _every_ rule we use when investigating.”

“What do you mean?”

“Who's to say it’s impossible for a ghoul to smell like a human to another ghoul.” Akira clarified, separating her interlaced fingers in favor of reaching into her bag once again. This time, she dropped their files on the Professor on the tabletop. “Hide’s managed to infiltrate several ghoul gangs by wearing clothes that smell enough of a mix of ghoul and human blood that ghouls seem to take him for another ghoul. What’s to say that ghouls can’t do the opposite? What if we’ve cast aside a solid suspect based on pseudoscience?”

“I don’t know.” Amon interjected. “The RC gates are one thing but a ghoul’s sense of smell is something else entirely.”

“ _Amon_.” Akira broke her stoic façade with a bitter laugh. The sound of it was chilling. Amon leaned back in his seat in alarm. “We just found out the CCG is run by a group of the very thing we’re paid to eliminate, and no other ghoul has ever pointed out _their_ smell before. Everything we know is a lie. The foundation upon which the CCG is built is rotten. We’ve been grossly misled for _years_.” The woman shook her head, like she still couldn’t believe it, even coming from herself. “I’m starting to think that maybe Hide is the only one of us with any sense at all.”

“You mean with the whole Eyepatch situation?” Amon couldn’t keep the shock out of his voice.

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe anymore, frankly. All I know is what I have in my files. What I want to _do_ with this information…. I don’t know yet. But I think it’s safe to say that we’ve stumbled upon something bigger than we realized.”

Amon nodded, anger towards the CCG, towards the situation, towards his own ignorance starting to fade back to his natural state of moral righteousness.

“We have to do something.” He decided, thoughts spinning.

“Yes. But not yet. This is all very delicate information, and we need to think this over before we jump into something we aren’t ready to handle. And Hide… I’ll tell him eventually. I don’t want him to freak out about Takatsuki, though, so I figured maybe you and I could do some work on that ourselves while we let Hide and Kaneki close the Professor Case.”

“You think we’re going to close it?”

“I… I have a feeling. Miss Kosaka’s party is this weekend. If we were right about Otori all along… then…. Yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind that we’re going to close this case this weekend. Although… I’m not sure what the repercussions will be. I’m… worried.”

Amon nodded, reaching across the table to cover her hand in his – a small gesture of solidarity. “We’ll make it through this.”

Akira’s eyes flashed, her pale-faced terror gone in an instant, replaced by icy, unyielding determination. It didn’t matter the circumstances – Akira’s unending ability to throw herself headfirst into her work with unwavering resolve and dedication would never change. Amon almost smiled.

“We will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Amon - romantic? platonic??? up to you  
> Either way they are conflicted parents


	17. Chapter 17

His stomach grumbled. Loudly. It turned over on itself forcefully enough to bend him in half, desperate arms instinctively wrapping around it as if to smother the pain. He collapsed backwards, landing gracelessly on his butt as his back slammed harshly against the wooden frame of his bed, knees curling inwards. He pressed his forehead to his kneecaps, burying his face and clawing at the skin of his stomach. The pain would stop soon, according to the Wikipedia article he’d read. Seven more minutes and it would be over and he could finish his homework in peace.

Well, until it started again, that was.

_“What was that noise? You aren’t breaking things in there again are you?”_

The voice was distant, a memory, but somehow still as sharp and clear as ever, cutting and accusatory. It didn’t sting as much as it should have. He was too tired.

And hungry.

“Everything’s fine just dropped a textbook!” He called back, silently proud that he’d managed to keep his tone even.

Until he heard the annoyed muttering from the other side of the door. He wasn’t sure what was being said, but it wasn’t hard to imagine. He’d heard so many of her insults before he had a mental library. He could pick and choose the most fitting response from memory. 

_Stupid awkward twit.            Ungrateful brat.          Noisy deadweight._

He sucked in a breath and fought the anger down. No use would it be to get mad and lash out. That would only result in increasing the duration of his unwanted fast, and he had to eat at some point. His bones were starting to show.

He was getting a little nervous about it.

So he didn’t scream, he didn’t yell, he didn’t snap. He bottled it up, melted the metal of the cap with a blowtorch to keep it extra stuck, and tossed it in the ocean. His anger was misdirected, after all. His aunt had done so much for him, taken him in, clothed him, given him a home.

It cost a lot to feed an extra mouth. It was his fault. This was her house and he’s the one that made her angry. So he didn’t have the _right_ to be angry.

So he wasn’t ( _ ~~he was~~_ ) and he didn’t scream or yell or fight back.

He cried instead.

...

She was beautiful, with long sleek violet hair and gentle eyes and a patient smile. Her cheeks were rosy and warm, her laugh high and shy, and the sound of it was welcoming. She was easy to talk to, largely because they seemed to have a few shared interests, and also because of the openness of her posture, and the way her eyes seemed to light up with interest whenever he would speak. Her eyes that were always on him, watching him like… he wasn’t sure what it was like. He’d never had someone pay such rapt attention to him before, and he basked in it, desperate for it, never wanting it to end.

He wasn’t hungry anymore, between his job and his apartment and his newfound independence he was more than happy to take care of himself. But he was still missing something – years of loneliness eating away at him from the inside, an insistent itch that needed scratching, brought to the forefront of his mind now that his physical needs were regularly being met.

And she fed that need, offered easy companionship and pleasant company. She smiled when he smiled, and laughed when he laughed, made small clever jokes, and offered insight on the books they both loved to read. She’d flip a lock of lilac hair over her shoulder with a pale delicate hand, and he’d smell flowers, and think that he’d maybe like to hold that hand one day.

They went on a few dates.

Met at coffee shops.

Bookstores.

The park.

It was the happiest he’d ever been. He was away from his family, living on his own, caring for himself like an adult with no unnecessary stressors. He liked his school and loved his classes; he’d worked hard to get here, after all. He had a bright future ahead of him, and while a degree in literature didn’t assure a stable career, it sure as hell would make him happy. He could become a teacher, or a journalist, or an editor, or maybe even write his own novels. A world of possibility was opened for him, and he finally had someone standing there next to him, watching him, acknowledging him. It was the first time in his life he thought that, maybe, his aunt had been wrong about him.

Maybe he wasn’t worthless.

Or stupid, or troublesome, or awkward, or unlovable.

He had a purpose; and he was going to prove everyone that ever told him he’d amount to nothing wrong.

Then Rize tried to eat him.

...

And he was hungry again.

So hungry he could barely think straight. The world became suffocating. Each new person he met, every face on the street was dehumanized to him, reduced by his desire to eat and live. Their scents surrounded him; he couldn’t escape, but he wouldn’t succumb to it either.

He refused to.

He wasn’t a monster.

Not like Rize.

Not like _Touka_.

She crashed into his life like a tornado, fast and sudden and frenzied – sweeping all of his thoughts and ideologies up in a furious gust of wind and throwing them around haphazardly, not a single damn given about whoever may have gotten caught in the crossfire.

 _You aren’t a monster like me, huh?_ She asked with furious ruby eyes and short dark hair falling into her face as she shoved a clump of gory flesh down his throat.

He soon found out that he _liked_ that taste and he _wanted_ more because he _liked_ being alive and he _wanted_ to live.

He tried to kill himself but the blade only bent.

...

Hide was different, if only because he was aware of the dangers this time.

He was stronger now, more self-assured, and with an army of ferocious friends at his back. No longer was he a sitting duck, easily manipulated by the first person to cross his path. No longer would he be easily hurt, easily controlled, easily tricked. Not now, not when he was no longer alone.

His hunger was sated, both physically and emotionally, so to speak.

At least, that’s what he had thought. Perhaps he’d grown too comfortable in his own skin? Maybe he’d been pushing down other emotional needs he had failed to recognize until now? Whatever the reason, Kaneki now found himself in a chillingly familiar situation.

He did not have the upper hand.

He was not in control.

And the worst part was… he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.

When he thought of Hide, his smile was always the first thing to pop into his mind. It was just so bright, so carefree and happy and infections that it made Kaneki’s heart thump oddly in his chest while his stomach performed the same strange little jumps it did when he’d first met Rize. Next it was his eyes, a deep brown, but not dark, nothing about him was dark. They were light and sweet like melted chocolate, or creamy peanut butter, or home baked brownies just fresh out of the oven all warm and soft. The way he said his name… “ _Kaneki_ ”, teasing but gentile and sometimes even with the most bizarre note of fondness like he actually _gave a damn_ about him. The way he looked at him… like Kaneki was actually worth something in his eyes… it just –

 _Hurt_.

For some reason he didn’t really understand.

It would be so easy – so easy to just melt into the investigator with his sunshine smiles and calming presence and never return to his dark world ever again

But he knew deep down that that just wasn’t realistic, and he couldn’t keep lying to himself.

Hide snuck into his life stealthily, like a thief in the dark, creeping up on him when he least expected it, backing him into a corner, smothering him, and tying a string to his heart with a few well-placed words and encouraging smiles. He crashed into his life with lawless abandon, determined for whatever foolish reason to become his friend and fight this oppressive world together. He elbowed his way into his life, and Kaneki let him, without a second thought. He’d ignored the facts, the warning signs, every internal alarm pointing at him, screaming about what a terrible position he’d put himself in. He’d tied himself to a group of investigators, his kind’s natural enemy, and now there was no way to get away, no feasible exit route. He was stuck, and so were all of his friends.

Because of him.

_Stupid awkward twit.       Ungrateful brat.          Noisy deadweight._

He shouldn’t have let himself get so carried away, shouldn’t have been so easy to trust – _always too quick to trust_ – shouldn’t have let his desperation guide his decisions.

Shouldn’t have kissed Hide and changed everything.

Kaneki’s still not really sure what had possessed him that night. He had a premonition that Hide’s feelings for him were teetering on the edge of platonic and something more, but he wasn’t really sure until he’d asked and Hide didn’t even try to deny that their ‘bonding night’ was intended to be a date. What’s more, Kaneki didn’t even really know how he felt about it himself.

But then he thought it through… and couldn’t really bring himself to regret any of it.

 _Hide’s voice, teasing and unafraid even though he knew what Kaneki was. Hide, telling him he didn’t see Kaneki as a monster, eyes soft and sincere and that_ had to be a lie _but it was nice to hear regardless. Hide’s hands, confident but gentle, helping Kaneki up, under his knees and around his shoulders as he carried him back to :re, the rhythm of his walking slow_ _and swaying, his proximity so comforting that the ghoul couldn’t help but fall asleep. Kaneki didn’t think he’d ever been touched that gently in his life._

It was stupid. It was wrong. He shouldn’t feel the way he did, when he knew how this would end.

What was he expecting to gain from pursuing a relationship with an investigator, friend or otherwise? They could never really have any sort of relationship, could they? Something would eventually get in the way, some ghoul, some investigation, some moral disagreement would inevitably create a rift between them, and then what would happen? Hide, or Akira, or Amon would report him to the CCG, bring his entire existence crashing down all over again.

And everything the others worked for would go to waste.

Touka would never graduate college.

Hinami would never even get the chance to apply.

Nishiki – jobless, dead.

Kimi and Yoriko – thrown in jail.

Tsukiyama falling into a depression, without a purpose.

Yomo and Irimi, and Koma, and Banjou all on the run again.

Who was Kaneki to risk their lives in addition to his own? What _right_ did he have to put them in danger? After everything they’d done for him? And the ward – it was clean; humans and ghouls living peacefully together with the occasional trouble maker surfacing only to be eliminated by :re. It was an impossible utopia – and Kaneki was willing to throw the peace and security he’d managed to create away just so he got to play human for a little while longer?

No.

Touka was absolutely right. He was being incredibly selfish. Selfish when he didn’t have the right to be. There was too much at stake.

This arrangement could never work out.

Which begged the question – what should he do now? He was already in way too deep. Those investigators knew his name, knew his face. They knew :re.

And Hide….

It was too late to back out. He’d definitely have to finish this investigation at least. But maybe… maybe he could work something out with Hide? For all of his joking around, the investigator seemed reasonable enough. Kaneki only hopped he wouldn’t hold anything against him.

_But what if he did?_

Kaneki sucked in a sharp breath, shooting to a sitting position on his bed, heart hammering.

What if it was a ruse all along? Hide was clearly a master of deception. He’d managed to convince Uta and Itori that he was a ghoul no problem, so who’s to say that this wasn’t his aim all along? To get close to Kaneki and get to know as many ghouls as possible and wait for the most opportune moment to take everyone down all at once? The CCG gave out awards for kill count after all, so what if Hide was going for some kind of record?

 _That’s ridiculous_ , Kaneki told himself, shaking his head aggressively as if he could physically shake thoughts out of his brain. Hide hadn’t given him any real reason to doubt his integrity, and he’d even told him that he wasn’t a huge fan of the CCG’s killing policy, on multiple occasions. It was just his anxiety acting up again. Hide was a decent person. Kaneki had no reason to be judging his character so harshly.

Then again, he never really sensed anything malicious from Rize either, and look where he’s ended up.

His breathing was coming in faster, heart racing, palms sweaty, hands shaky. He felt cold and hot at the same time, muscles in his arms and legs twitching sporadically – like he had a fever. Kaneki bit his lip, forcing himself to stand up and walk over to the small desk in his room where Hinami had taped a list of breathing exercises. He needed to clear his head before this escalated into a full panic attack.

Because that’s all this was – a panic attack. He had to remind himself of that sometimes, or else he’d start to actually believe the things his mind was telling him. He just needed to stop and… breath and… be rational….

And bottle it up.

* * *

 

“Hey, so what did you want to talk about?”

Nishiki sighed, looking up from his cell phone as Hide finally – _finally!_ – slid into the chair across from him at the old café they used to hang out in while they were still in college. “Are you physically incapable of being on time?” He asked dryly. 

“Yes.” Hide replied without an ounce of hesitation.

“You’ll never change.”

“You wouldn’t want me to.”

“Some things, Nagachika. Some things.” Nishio responded, a note of wistfulness in his voice.

“So, anyways,” Hide cleared his throat, leaning back in his seat and eyeing his former friend in curiosity. “I’m surprised you asked me to meet. I thought I was going to have to drag you here myself like the good ol’ days, you know? I was actually in the process of planning a way to get you to hang out with me. Spoiler alert: it involved a barbershop quartet and several cans of whipped cream. But now I have to throw out all seven minutes of hard brainstorming. You’ve foiled my plans. All that time and energy wasted.”

“Yeah thank _fuck_ for that.” Nishiki said vehemently, looking mildly annoyed but not at all surprised by his friend's behavior. “I don’t know how I managed to survive university with you always popping out of deadass nowhere with some half-baked idea and zero common sense. Honestly, sometimes I really just don’t understand why I didn’t kill you.”

Hide laughed. “We both know it’s because Kimi thought I was funny and kept telling you to be nice. But hey,” Hide leaned forward, grin sly and eyes sparkling. “I grew on you too.”

“Yeah what the fuck ever.”

“You had fun, though.”

“If dying of a heart attack every other weekend qualifies as fun, then sure. But I didn’t ask you here to reminisce.”

“Darn.” Hide pouted. “I mean, I knew you didn’t, but a guy can hope. So what’s up?”

Nishiki seemed to hesitate for a moment, thoughtful. Though, after a second of contemplation his pensive look morphed into that semi-indifferent ‘eh, fuck it’ expression he usually wore and he leaned down to reach into his back.

Hide eyed the movement curiously. For once, he genuinely had no idea where this was going. Honestly, when he’d showed up at the café, he was expecting Nishiki to lecture him about his recklessness or his relationship with Kaneki, like Touka had the first time he’d met her, and like Akira had been doing every chance she got. Needless to say, he was kind of relieved when that particular topic wasn’t broached. Still, it’d be nice to have some clue as to what Nishiki wanted to talk about.

Hide sat in silence, curiosity melting away as Nishiki leaned back in his chair and placed a small blue box on the table. For a moment, he was stunned, but it took all of two seconds for him to put it together, between the size and shape of the box and the unusually embarrassed expression on the ghoul’s face.

Hide practically exploded.

“SEMPAI, ARE YOU PROPOSING TO ME?”

“Eh!? – No you fucking moron!”

“OH SEMPAI YES! YES! OF COURSE I’LL MARRY YOU!”

“Hide I SWEAR TO GOD - !”

“I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SO LONG! OH WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TWO OF US WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR? ME, A YOUNG, TALENTED, SPUNCKY YOUNG CHARMING YOUNG HANDSOME DETECTIVE AND YOU, AN 82 YEAR OLD WAR VETERAN IN A TECHNO GEEKS BODY!”

“You know, it’s really not too late for me to eat you.”

“EAT ME? OH SEMPAI DON’T SAY SUCH THINGS IN PUBLIC YOU’RE MAKING ME BLUSH!”

“Hide –”

“Sirs, I’m very happy for you, but if you don’t keep it down we’re going to have to ask you to leave.” Interrupted a member of the staff with a smile that looked to be somewhere between sheepish and horrified, like she wasn’t quite sure if she should be interrupting at all.

“Oh deary I’m so sorry! I’m was just so surprised I couldn’t contain my happiness!” Hide told the waitress with an expression bordering on manic as he reached across the table to grab a silently raging Nishiki’s arm (he gracelessly slapped Hide’s hand away).

“Erm – right, of course.” The waitress responded, looking confused as she nodded and walked off to join the rest of the staff behind the counter.

“Could you be cool? For maybe, like, ten minutes of your asinine existence?” Nishio snapped as soon as she was out of earshot.

“No. Let’s see the ring!”

“Why did I think this was a good idea?” The ghoul grumbled, all the while reaching for the box and opening it up, revealing the simple but tasteful silver band within.

Hide whistled his appreciation. “So when are you going to pop the question?”

“On our four-year anniversary. Kimi and I started talking about the future and marriage about a year ago, when our lives kind of stabilized and it looked like we might actually have a shot at something serious, despite the whole ‘being part of two different species’ thing. And since things have continued to be good… I figured it was now or never.” Nishiki shrugged, snapping the box closed and carefully tucking it back into his bag. “So what do you think?”

Hide raised his eyebrows. “What do I think? This is great! I’m really happy for you. I know I used to joke about Kimi leaving you for me all the time in college, but seriously, I’m glad you made it this far. You’re good together.”

“Okay okay, no need to get so sappy. Save that shit for the speech.”

“Speech?”

“Yeah.” Nishio nodded, briefly adjusting his glasses, a small, smug little smirk crawling its way across his face. “I want you to be my best man.”

Hide was stunned. He could feel his mouth hanging open. For all his jesting, he never really expected Nishiki to ask him something like this.

Nishio looked decidedly pleased with himself. “Kimi and I talked about it. With all the shit going on in our lives, we never really managed to form a great network of friends. I mean, Kimi has her friends from the hospital, and I’ve got the group at :re, but you were there from the beginning, from before Kimi even knew what I was, as annoying as you were. And now that you know the secret too it’s like… fuck it I don’t know.” He huffed, crossing his arms. “I guess I don’t have to hide anything from you anymore, since you’re clearly too enamored with Kaneki to ever even _consider_ turning me in. So yeah. Be my best man.”

“I just….” Hide swallowed, shifting forward in his seat and giving himself a minute to mentally process what his friend was saying. “Wow… fuck yeah I’ll be your best man. And for the record, I wouldn’t have turned you in whether or not you were friends with Kaneki.”

Nishio sighed. “I know.”

“And speaking of Kaneki… I mean, I haven’t seen you since you graduated. Wouldn’t he make a better best man?”

“Hide, all the other guys in my life are complete and utter disasters, including you. My choices include: one old war torn ghoul that won’t shut the fuck up about how feared he was during the Black Dog / Devil Ape gang wars of the years whatever-the-fuck, a rich pompous high-class douche that would go way overboard and embarrass the living shit out of me, Kaneki, who I’m sure would have said yes but is also only capable of giving good speeches in extremely specific circumstances and would probably have an aneurism in front of the whole audience, and you. So congrats on being the least terrible option.”

“You know, you just took something really sweet and made it kind of insulting. That said, thank you. I’m touched.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So full disclosure, I have no idea what being a best man entails. Do I need to help plan? What is my job.”

Sighing, Nishiki stood up, dropping a few bills on the table to pay for his coffee. “Why don’t we figure that out after Kimi’s said yes.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Hide conceded, following Nishiki’s lead and standing up as well. “Wow… I still can’t believe you asked me.” He laughed, shaking his head.

“Well believe it. Anyway, you probably need to head out. Aren’t you guys going to that stupid party tonight?”

“Yeah,” Hide nodded, falling into step beside Nishiki as they exited the café. “Akira’s handling all the set-up for that, though. She isn’t very happy with me these days.”

“Well yeah all you do is fawn over Kaneki under the pretense of work.”

“Excuse you – I do more than just fawn over him. I’ll have you know that I think things are at least probably somewhat requited maybe.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Speaking of which – ” Hide said, adding a slight bounce to his step and folding his arms behind his back as he looked up at Nishiki, “Does he, you know, ever talk about me?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake – ”

“Come on I really wanna know! _For your best man ~_ ”

“Fine – look, no, he doesn’t really talk about you outside of the case but Kaneki’s a pretty private person so that’s to be expected. That said, I’m pretty sure he likes you. I’m not expert in reading him, but like, if he’s bothered to go out with you at all that’s a pretty clear indicator that he likes you because.... Well never mind that. Just take things slow, okay? I’ve know Kaneki for a long time now. He’s a good guy but he’s seen more than his fair share of fucked up shit and I gotta tell ya, he’s not better for it.”

“You know,” Hide started, “Touka told me the same thing. I mean in a much more graphic and threatening way, but the message was essentially the same. Would you, I don’t know, maybe want to give me any indication as to what kind of ‘fucked up shit’ we’re talking about, here?”

“That’s not really my place.” Nishio said bluntly. “But you’re obviously smitten with him and I guess you’re both my friends so… fuck it. I’m not going to go into any details. Got it? But against all odds I want you to be happy. So I’ll give you some advice.”

Hide nodded, eyes focused on Nishiki, ready to finally receive some insight on the person he thinks he may be falling for.

“Take it slow. If you come on too strong too early he’ll probably freak out and close himself off and once he does that it’s nearly impossible to get him to open up again, trust me, I know. It took us forever to get him to come back to :re but… I digress. He’s pretty messed up – ”

“He already told me that he used to be suicidal.”

“He – really? That’s surprising. Good, but surprising. Yeah, that was a big thing a few years ago but honestly that’s just scratching the surface. But I’ll let him tell you about all of that, when he’s ready. I mean, to be honest, I don’t even know all the details. When we opened :re and got the gang together, it was Hinami, Touka, and Tsukiyama that dealt with him the most. Cracked open some library books on psychotherapy and coping with PTSD – ‘cause I mean, where in the hell is a ghoul supposed to find a decent therapist? I mean it’s not like we can walk into some shrink’s office and say hey I’m traumatized because I eat people, like – sorry I’m getting off topic again.”

“No… it’s fine.” Hide said, mind swimming with the little bit of information that had been dumped on him. It did nothing to sate his curiosity, and only served to remind him how little he really knew about Kaneki’s life. He knows plenty about who Kaneki is now, of course, what he values as a person, his likes and dislikes, his sense of humor, his drive, his personality. But he doesn’t really know where all of that came from, though, he didn’t think it really mattered that much. He knew _this_ Kaneki, the current Kaneki, and he knew he liked him. He knew the things that were important to know to know that their personalities complimented each other well. Did it suck that there were some things the other wasn’t willing to share with him? Yes, but Hide knew that trust would come with time, and contrary to popular belief, Hide could be quite patient when it came to the people he loved.

Er, cared about.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“No problem.” Nishiki said. “Now let’s get back to :re. Since you’re taking half our staff to get shitfaced tonight, I have to hold up the shop. So thanks for that, bastard.”

Hide patted his friend’s shoulder sympathetically. “Anytime.”

 

* * *

 

“I think we should tell Hide.”

Akira bit down on her thumb, staring at the screen in front of her with intense green eyes. Her posture was tense, one foot tapping restlessly against the tiled floor and her arms draw inward, her expression indicating that she was lost in thought.

Finally, she nodded. “Yes.”

Their investigation into Takatsuki Sen had lead them nowhere. Absolutely nowhere.

Which was the problem.

It was as if the author had spontaneously sprouted from the ground, popped out of nowhere with a few good book ideas and managed to make a living. Takatsuki Sen was almost certainty a pseudonym, but thus far they had no indication as to what her true identify might be. The only information they could find was the name of her editor, and a few irrelevant facts about her life _after_ the age of twenty. Nothing before.

Takatsuki Sen was a ghost. That in itself was enough to incite suspicion. Taking into account her strange run-in with Hide only made things worse.

“We should probably also take this to the higher ups.” Amon added, shutting down the computer. “I could inform Shinohara and get a warrant to bring her editor in for questioning.”

“Maybe.” Akira’s eyes flashed, mouth a thin line. “Though, we should ask Hide to give us some more details on their encounter, first. I’m… worried that her move was calculated.”

“What do you mean?”

“She managed to break into the CCG, Amon.” The woman said sharply, stress sharpening her voice. “What if she’s… what if she’s a Washuu?”

“Akira….”

“Or worse, what if this has something to do with Kaneki?”

Amon paused, taking a moment to contemplate that. “You mean because they both were able to get into the CCG? Or….”

“I _mean_ what if she knows about our arrangement with him? What if we bring her in only to have her tell the CCG about our crimes in interrogation? What other reason would she have to target Hide? It’s clear we didn’t know the Washuu’s secret _before_ she spoke with him, and from the sounds of it she wasn’t very subtle. That leads me to believe there was something she wanted from Hide… some theory she wanted to test or some information she wanted to verify. So unless she’s the family member of some ghoul Hide brought down that’s seeking revenge… I’d say there’s a high probability that this has to do with :re.”

“You think she might be trying to topple the hierarchy of the ward?”

“Maybe….”

Amon frowned. “Or she could be working for Professor?”

“That’s a possibility as well. From what Hide said, he left a bit of a mess behind during this investigation. It probably wouldn’t be hard for the gang to track him down.”

“If that’s the case then we better find the Professor soon.”

“I agree… speaking of which,” Akira added, pausing to check the time. “We should head to :re. The party is starting in an hour and we still have to set up the microphones. We should probably also have Investigator Suzuya on standby in case things go south.”

“I suppose… though I thought we were having the :re ghouls stand in if we needed backup?”

“Only if we can’t get Kaneki and Touka out in time.”

“…alright.”

“Let’s go.”

* * *

 

When Hide and Nishiki stepped through the front doors of :re, they weren’t greeted warmly by Kaneki or, conversely, coldly by Touka, like Hide had come to expect. Instead, as the door swung open, Hide found himself face-to-face (or rather face-to-chest) with a somewhat tall, elegant, though garishly dressed older man with flawlessly styled purple hair. The man’s eyes slid over Hide’s form suspiciously, before warming slightly as they landed on Nishio. After a pause, he stepped aside.

“Welcome friends, it is wonderful to see you again, Mr. Nishio. I do believe it’s been some time. And you must be the investigator I’ve heard so much about.”

Hide forced a laugh, feeling a little uncomfortable under the other man’s scrutinizing gaze. “Yeah, I supposed that’s me. You can call me Hide, and you are…?”

“Tsukiyama would you get out of the fuckin’ doorway I’ve got shit to do, you know?” Nishiki cut in bluntly, walking right between Hide and his alleged friend and cutting off their hand shake before it could even begin.

“Ah – but of course, I apologize!” Tsukiyama said, faking an apologetic smile as Nishio stormed into the kitchen, only to shoot Hide an irritated look as soon as he was out of eyesight.

Hide laughed.

And the kitchen door burst open once more, the quiet, empty café suddenly filled with loud, lively voices.

Touka and Yoriko were the first to step in, the ghoul arguing about something menial with a freshly annoyed Nishio as the human smiled and laughed. A younger, smaller girl in the :re uniform followed at their heal, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. Kaneki followed shortly after, dragging his feet a little as he listened quietly to Nishiki and Touka bicker. The girl cast him a bright smile, and he returned it, patting her head.

Hide felt himself smile in return.

“Alright alright alright – whatever – let’s talk about this later, okay shitty-Nishiki? I’m going out.”

“I know that’s why I have to close tonight and I’m very upset about it.”

“I don’t care.” Touka shot back, flickering her eyes almost immediately over to Hide as soon as she was done talking to the other ghoul. “Hello, dove, I see you’re on time for once.” She snapped.

“It happens.”

“Yeah only because you were with me.” Muttered Nishiki.

“You got me there.”

“Hello Hide!”

“Hi Yoriko!”

“Hello Touka-chan! You look lovely as ever. Such hypnotizing ice in your eyes ~ ah the passion of - "

Touch cut him off. "Tsukiyama if you don't shut up right now, I will break your nose." 

"It's true, she's already broken mind once." Hide chipped in unhelpfully. 

" _Swoon_." 

"Onii-chan, what is Flower Man doing here?" The teenager at Kaneki's side asked abruptly, attracting Hide's attention. _Onii-chan_. Hide was pretty sure he recognized her voice. She looked young, probably no older than fifteen or sixteen, her hair a short caramel brown and decorated with flowers. She wore a kind expression, deep brown eyes wide with curiosity, and staring expectantly at Kaneki for guidance. 

While the two ghouls seemed carry the same air of almost-childlike innocence, they didn't resemble each other much beyond that. The moniker was likely a term of endearment, then. No relation. 

This had to be the same girl Kaneki had practically demolished the sitting room to hide all that time ago, when Hide had first managed to track down :re. Which meant, this was probably the chimera, Daughter Ghoul. 

"Tsukiyama-san is here to help you and Nishio-sempai close the shop for the night while Touka, Yoriko and I help Hide with his investigation." Kaneki explained. 

" _M'ouais_ , and I'm also here to provide you all with back-up should the need arise." Tsukiyama added, smile softening as he looked at the younger. "Banjou-san and our lovely masked friends shall be arriving here later tonight as well. It'll be just like our old anti-aogiri gang, reunited at last! Just like old times. If you'd like we could catch up on some reading together as well." 

"Yeah!"  
"Wait," Hide cut in, "You were part of Kaneki's old gang? That makes you... the Gourmet?" He questioned, hesitantly. It was beginning to occur to him that he hadn't even bothered to try and find out the code-names of Kaneki's other friends. As for guesses, well he could only really go off of the list of protected ghouls Kaneki had given him when he wrote up his contract. But thinking on it now... Touka was definitely Rabbit... she just _had_ to be. It would make so much sense. And he already knew that Nishio was Serpent... though he was yet to meet any of the others, so he supposed he'd have to save the rest of his brainstorming for later. 

"Aha! How did you guess? Is it the magnificent hair? The radient aura of sophistication and grace? How flattering of you, young suitor, to have recognized - "

"Tsukiyama-san, _please_." Kaneki, giving him an exasperated look. 

"Definitely the aura of sophisticated grace. For sure." 

Tsukiyama turned back a frowning Kaneki. "I like him." 

Hide sent Kaneki a beaming smile. The ghoul's lips twitched. "That's great...." 

"So, dove, when is your posy showing up. They're our rides to this stupid thing." 

"Touka don't be rude." Yoriko chastised. 

From where he was leaning against the counter, Nishio grumbled, "Like that's even possible for her...." 

" _You're_ one to talk!"

"Hey at least I know how to calm the fuck down every once in a while! Meanwhile you're ready to thrown down all the time it's like you're _begging_ for a fight 24/7 all you do is threaten people - "

"Maybe if everyone would stop being such _unspeakably moronic douchebags_  all the time I wouldn't have to threaten you !"

"That's some backwards fucking thinking! -" 

The front doorbell jingled. 

"Are we interrupting something?" Amon asked, following Akira as he stepped into the small, now very crowded, cafe. 

_"Yes."_

_"No."_

_"Finally!"_

_"Mon dieu!"_

They received a chorus of responses, and not really knowing which ones to react to, settled for blinking dully at the mixed crowed of humans and ghouls in sullen acceptance of the mess that their lives had become. 

Amon clucked his tongue. "Okay then.... I don't know who most of you are... but we should really be heading out now. We apologize for being late... we were doing our own research on the way over here. Speaking of which, Hide could we talk to you in private for a moment?"

Hide raised an eyebrow, casting a glance at his colleagues in alarm. They wanted to talk about something _now_? Right before they went out to freakin' close this pain-in-the-ass of a case? "...Sure?"

"Yeah, there is no private here - we _all_ have super hearing. Just FYI." Nishiki scoffed, boredly gesturing to the entire room.

"Right...." Amon said, remembering where he was. 

Luckily for him, Akira always had a back up. "It's fine. It isn't urgent or case related. In fact, we could probably talk about it on the drive to the party. That said, Hide and Kaneki, why don't you drive with me? We could probably use Kaneki's input anyway." 

"Okay...."

"Sure, no problem." Kaneki agreed, looking as concerned as Hide felt. 

Ugh. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night. 

"Well let's go then." Touka said, completely disregarding the tension in the air and taking charge. She swung a stylish jacket over her shoulders and cocked her head at Amon, acknowledging his purpose as their driver for the evening. 

She stepped out, Yoriko following after her and a happy little " _goodbye, have fun!_ " from Hinami playing in the background of her exit. Amon shrugged at Akira before turning around and following them out. 

"Yes, let's go." Akira agreed, also nodding at both Hide and Kaneki before stepping out as well, in an almost creepily similar fashion. 

They really were kind of similar, Hide couldn't help but think. 

"Are you ready?" A soft voice from his right brought Hide out of his thoughts, and he looked over to see Kaneki standing by his side, a gentle smile on his face and a strangely guarded look in his eyes. 

"I always am." Hide put as much warmth into his smile as he could muster, linking his arm with Kaneki's before turning around and waving goodbye to the ghouls remaining inside. "See you guys later! - it was nice to meet you Tsukiyama! - Nishiki stop being scowling you're too young to be so old!"

"And the list of stupid things that have come out of your mouth continues to grow...." The ghoul muttered, pushing up his glasses. 

"Come on, Hide." Kaneki pulled at his arm, looking at him with a fond, yet weirdly bittersweet expression on his face. "We shouldn't keep Akira waiting." 

"You're right." Hide's heart thumped strangely. "Let's go." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdkfdk I love Shuu but I can't write him (that's whey all of his lines are cut off but shhh you didn't hear that from me)


	18. Party (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> menial ocs

“The microphone and the earpiece are completely separate, to avoid wires. You two should have no problem hiding your earpieces behind your hair, just make sure not to brush it back or tuck it behind your ears tonight. As for the microphone – I’ll let you two clip that in. So long as they’re located near the top of your shirt we should be able to pick up everything you say, and everything said to you. Clear?”

Akira’s eyes reflected in the rear view mirror, quietly observing her passengers fumble with their listening devices.

“Clear.” Hide affirmed, leaning over to adjust Kaneki’s ear piece in a much less conspicuous way, musing his hair in a way that would hide it. Kaneki whispered a soft ‘thank you’ as Hide’s hands returned to his sides.

“We’re looking out for any suspicious activity – and I mean out of the normal for a college party. Keep your eyes pealed for potential suspects. Remember names. Listen for anything strange. You know the drill.” Akira stated, her eyes cutting away from the rear view to focus on the road. “And remember, Amon and I will be listening to everything. We may give you suggestions throughout the night. And if for any reason you need backup, don’t hesitate to ask. As high class CCG agents, we have the power to step in and break up the party. Hide wouldn’t even have to break cover.”

“Yoriko’s friends already know I’m CCG, though.”

“True, but that could be a good thing, if you play things carefully. Watch for the people who avoid or antagonize you. That’s often an indication that a subject is a ghoul. Not to mention we’ll have Kaneki and Touka’s superior senses of smell to back you up.”

Kaneki’s eye twitched at the implication of spending another night sniffing people. Hide patted his shoulder sympathetically.

“And another thing.” Akira’s voice rang cold. “Amon and I have decided to… reconsider Otori’s potential as a suspect.”

At that, Hide’s ears perked up, his attention snatched away from fiddling with his shirt collar. “Why’s that?”

Akira sighed: the first sign of her unease. “Amon and I decided to investigate Kaneki’s statement that he was able to get into the CCG without the RC detectors going off.” She stated. Kaneki straightened in his seat. “As it turns out… the RC scanners don’t pick up certain RC patterns. Which is what rendered it possible for Kaneki to enter without getting caught.”

“RC patterns?” Kaneki piped up for the first time, breaking his silence. His eyebrows were quirked slightly, his expression one of high alert.

Hide frowned. “Wait so specific RC patterns aren’t registered at all? Like some kind of flaw in design? So Kaneki just got lucky then.”

“No.” Akira’s voice was firm. “It’s not a design flaw.”

Kaneki’s fingers subtly dug in the leather of the seat. “Then… what is it?” His voice was tight. Hide’s frown deepened, a crease forming between his brows. Kaneki seemed to be extremely on edge tonight.

Hide mentally shook himself, tearing his searching gaze away from Kaneki’s taught form and locking eyes with Akira through the rear view mirror. “Yeah what Kaneki said… if it isn’t a design flaw, what is it? And what does it have to do with our case?”

“It’s the Washuus.” Akira offered as explanation. “The entire family; they’re all ghouls. Amon and I think they programmed the RC scanners not to go off when they passed through them, considering they are the only people able to walk through the gates without triggering the alarms.”

“Wait wait wait – back it up for a second here. The _Washuus_ are _ghouls_?”

“Yes.” Akira answered simply.

“But… aren’t they the ones who _founded_ the CCG?”

“The Washuus….” Kaneki repeated quietly to himself, a look of deep concentration across his face.

“Yes.” Akira repeated, pausing for a moment as if to carefully choose her next words. “Which made us wonder… Kaneki are you perhaps related to them? It would explain why you were able to slip through the gates undetected. RC patterns are often inherited.”

“It’s… they are? That makes sense….”

“Well?”

Kaneki’s eyes flicked briefly over to Hide’s, before once again flicking away as if searching the air for an answer. “I – I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You don’t know.” Akira repeated flatly, her own eyes narrowing slightly, though remaining focused on the road.

“I – I don’t,” Kaneki glanced towards Hide once more, eyes swimming with some unreadable emotion. Hide bit the inside of his cheek; Kaneki had never talked about his parents before. He _had_ to have come from somewhere, and it was extremely unlikely, even if his parents were dead, that Kaneki wouldn’t even know their names, despite the trials of the ghoul world. Still, there was something strange in Kaneki’s expression as he mulled over this new bit of information. It didn’t exactly look like he was trying to lie to them. In fact, if anything, he seemed surprised himself – like he was trying to put together the pieces of some great unfathomable puzzle – like this newfound knowledge of the Washuu’s may have inadvertently thrown off his entire sense of self. 

“Eyepatch.” Akira’s voice grew cold. “What do you know about the Washuu’s?”

“Nothing really. I just – that’s just – it’s just weird is all.”

“Are you related to them?”

“No. I mean… well _I’m_ not – I-I mean! I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m sorry, I really don’t know.”

Hide searched the ghoul’s expression. Despite the fact that Kaneki didn’t seem too keen on meeting his eyes, he also didn’t appear to be lying. Hiding something? Maybe. But definitely not lying. Hide released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, feeling a weight lift from over his heart. Quietly, he reached over to put a comforting hand on Kaneki’s shoulder, hoping to convey the sentiment that he was believed. Thankfully, Kaneki relaxed a bit at the action, finally looking over to give Hide a small, grateful albeit troubled smile.

Seeming to sense the atmosphere, Akira softened her voice to the point where she almost sounded sympathetic. “I’m sorry that you don’t know.” She added.

“Me too.” Kaneki said under his breath, relaxing fully against the hand massaging his shoulder.

“I suppose the thing to take away from this, is that there is a _possibility_ that you are related to the Washuus.” Akira said, back on task.

“There is a possibility.” Kaneki affirmed.

“And Takatsuki Sen… have you met her before?”

“Only once at a book signing about three years ago… before the Raid on Anteiku.”

“This is about Takatsuki Sen!” Hide exclaimed abruptly, dropping his hand from Kaneki’s shoulder as the pieces clicked together. “That’s why you looked at the RC logs – you wanted to verify whether or not she’s a ghoul!”

“That’s right.” Akira confirmed grimly. “Amon and I are fairly certain that she is, considering our recent discoveries. Unfortunately, the logs don’t go back far enough for us to check for certain but… we have a feeling. We did some background research on her as well… and we think you’re right, Hide. She has been stalking you.”

Hide could feel the concern radiating both Kaneki and Akira, but he kept his face neutral, despite the way his stomach flipped in apprehension. “Okay… well what does this have to do with today?”

Akira sighed, unsurprised at Hide’s failure to openly acknowledge the danger at hand. “Well… if the Washuus have been lying to us about the gates then who’s to say a ghoul is incapable of smelling human? Who’s to say there aren’t exceptions to the rule? I think we should reevaluate the possibility of Otori being the Professor.”

“Ah.” Hide said, ignoring the way Kaneki’s eyes burned into him. “Got it.”

“I just… I think we’ve inadvertently stumbled on something bigger – we just don’t know what it is yet.” Akira added. “Between the Washuus being ghouls and the Professor Case, and Takatsuki Sen stalking you… the possibilities are endless. It could be that Takatsuki Sen is working with the Professor and is stalking you because she knows you’re and investigator working on our case. It could be that she’s connected you to Kaneki somehow, and wants to overthrow the ward. It could be that she’s been one of the Washuu the whole time and is out to get us now that their secret has been compromised. Who could say for sure? I think there are probably a number of variables involved in this that have yet to make themselves known. I just want you to be careful. _Both_ of you.”

“We will.”

“Yes….”

“Good.”

The car slowly pulled to a stop – the surrounding streets littered with young, half drunk students slowly stumbling their way towards a garishly large, brightly lit home in the distance from which the faint sound of music being played at a high volume could be heard. Akira parallel parked in the closest spot she could find, pointing out Amon’s car a little way ahead of them.

“We’re here.” She stated blandly. “Now go catch us a murderer.”

* * *

 

“I feel ridiculous. This skirt is gross. And whoever invented high heals should burn in hell.”

“Well you look beautiful.”

“Gross.”

“Gorgeous” Yoriko insisted, stepping in to tangle her fingers with Touka’s. Touka huffed irritably, ignoring the adoring stare of her girlfriend in favor of looking over the crowd. There were a lot of people here. Needless to say, Touka was out of her element.

Although, Yoriko had been pestering her for _ages_ about meeting her university friends, so Touka supposed she could kill two birds with one stone. Help her stupid friend-leader catch a murderer _and_ meet her girlfriend’s friends.

What a night.

“Look, I see Kaneki and Sir Doofus. Let’s go meet up with them.” Touka pointed out the two figures immerging from Akira’s sleek, black car.

Yoriko giggled, tugging Touka towards the others. “As you wish.”

…

“This place looks crazy.”

“Are people always like this? What the fuck.”

Kaneki and Touka both seemed to be in agreement that the group of crazed, post-finals humans running around drunk were completely out of their minds.

“That’s just because neither of you have lived!” Hide exclaimed, sharing a determined nod with Yoriko, who seemed equally motivated to show Touka a good time. “This is what human life is supposed to be like. Ya know, in your young adult years.”

“The music is way too loud.” Touka complained, huffing angrily and attempting to plug her ears.

“Touka-chan.” The investigator deadpanned. “The more I get to know you, the more I think there’s an eighty-year-old man living inside you.”

“I can assure you, there’s never been a _living_ human inside me.” Touka retorted, punctuating her sentence with an icy, red-eyed glare.

Unfortunately for her, Hide wasn’t phased. “Not even Yoriko?”

Yoriko sputtered, looking absolutely scandalized (though not unamused), while Touka’s mouth dropped open, too horrified to be angry. Kaneki covered his mouth with his hands, not entirely sure if he should laugh or run away.

Yoriko decided for them. “Go go _go_!” She shoed, shoving both boys into the crowd before Touka had the chance to recover.

…

“You kind of walked yourself into that one, Touka-chan. You have to admit.”

“Shut up, Yoriko, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

…

Hide was still cackling when they came to a stop at the other side of the room.

“Jesus chr – do you _want_ to die today?” Kaneki demanded, leaning against the wall to regain his breath. “Holy – Touka would have _murdered_ you if Yoriko hadn’t gotten us out of there. I can’t believ – ah, what am I going to do with you?”

The ghoul shook his head, once again having been startled into laughter.

“I don’t know what _are_ you going to do with me?” Hide shot back, voice turning playful.

 _ >“Might I remind you that Akira and I can both still hear everything you say and do. Just throwing that out there.” _Amon’s voice suddenly said through Hide’s earpiece, sounding infinitely exasperated. The blond winced slightly at the volume, somewhat annoyed about his vibe getting ruined.

“Hey, you signed up for this.”

_ >“I most certainly did not.” _

“Signed up for what?” Kaneki asked, confused.

Hide waved a hand. “Sorry, Amon was talking at me. What were we talking about again?”

“How I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Oh right. Well I can’t help you with that, considering ‘tis I who am the problem.”

Kaneki made a face. “Hmm, that sentence sounds wrong.”

“Everything I say, is now, and always will be, one hundred percent right.”

“If you say so.”

_ > “Could you both please just go work on the case, already?”_

Kaneki startled. “Sorry!”

...

“So this is like… your life.”

Touka never was one for a big scene. She was used to spending quiet afternoons with the people she cared about: helping Hinami study, learning how to cook with Yoriko, practicing new latte art designs. _That_ was how she liked to socialize not… whatever this was.

Yoriko shrugged, drinking in the bewildered expression on the other girl’s face with mild amusement. “Not really.” She admitted. “This has never really been my kind of thing either, you know. I mean in high school I could barely talk to the other students without embarrassing myself. I’m much more comfortable in a peaceful environment. Though, at SHU, the parties just kind of… come with the social life. It’s like a package deal. You would know that if you ever bothered to make friends at Kamii.” Yoriko’s soft voice turned teasing.

“I don’t need another human in my life.”

“Aw. How sappy, Touka-chan.”

“So like, how often do you come to this stuff?” Touka asked, her nose scrunching in disgust as a half-naked male wearing a cape of toilet paper and a lampshade as a mask ran by, nearly splashing her with the alcohol from his open beer can.

“Not very often. This is more Otori’s scene. Me and Kyu tend to hang back on the weekends and study, assuming I’m not over at :re. Otori was just really insistent about us coming to _this_ party in particular. I think it’s probably because this is his parent’s estate and he wanted to show off.” Yoriko laughed a little, eyeing the chandelier handing from the ceiling and the grand wooden staircase across the room. “It’s nice but it’s got nothing on the Tsukiyamas.”

“True.”

“Anyway, I only really came to this one because Nagachika-san and his friends needed help with the case.”

“Yeah, Yoriko about that….” Touka trailed off, frowning a little bit. Her short blue-violet bangs shifted as she tilted her head. “I was wondering… how do you feel about all of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. The case – the investigation – the fact that a deadly woman-targeting ghoul goes to your school – working with these doves – I don’t know. Just, what are you thinking? We’ve never really talked about it and… I’m trying not to assume things but… aren’t you scared?”

“You really want to have this conversation right now? While there are _actual doves_ listening in on everything we say?” Yoriko raised an eyebrow.

                  > “ _Yes, I have agree with Kosaka-san on this one, Miss Kirishima. Perhaps save the introspecting for later.”_ Akira chimed in, almost as if to reinforce Yoriko’s point.

Touka winced.

“Well, there’s an unoccupied bathroom over there. We could take the microphones off for a minute while we talk and then rejoin the party?”

                  > “ _No, absolutely not. You could miss something. This is serious._ ” Amon added.

“Can it, Donut-hole, I’m having a conversation with Yoriko. Which, by the way, I don’t need you listening in on.” Touka snapped, talking into her shirt rather obviously.

“Touka stop talking to your boobs!”

“I’ll talk to my boobs as much as I like!”

                  >“ _Aren’t there better times to talk about your relationship_? _Or to your…?_ ”

                  >“ _Don’t say it, Amon.”_

“No. Calm down it’s not like we’re taking the earpieces out. We’ll still be able to hear everything. You just won’t be able to hear us. It’ll be like… five minutes. And if we don’t respond you can send your stupid lacky in after us. Deal?”

                  >“ _You’re not really giving us much of a choice here.”_

“Damn right.”

With that, Touka grabbed Yoriko by the sleeve and pulled her into the bathroom, locking the door behind them and switching off the microphone clipped to the inside of her shirt.

Yoriko shook her head fondly, following Touka’s example.

“What?” Touka asked, noting the strange way Yoriko was looking at her.

“Nothing, it’s just,” Yoriko chuckled fondly, “you always choose the most inopportune times to have these conversations. I don’t know if it’s a _you_ thing or a _ghoul_ thing but – ”

“I’m a trainwreck?”

“But _I love it.”_

“Okay _now_ who’s the sappy one.”

“We both know it was always me.” Yoriko said. “But anyway, about this whole… situation that we’re in… I’m fine with it.”

Touka raised an eyebrow.

“Really. I knew what I was getting into when I found out you were a ghoul. I knew – after the raid when Anteiku shut down and I found you again – I knew then what I was signing up for. This is your _life_. And if I wanted to be a part of your life in any significant way, I would have to accept whatever bizarre narrative life threw my way. Whether it meant lying to the CCG, hiding you from dangerous doves, or… or whatever! I knew that I would do whatever I could to be with you, to keep you safe even if it marked me as a criminal. And I know you would do the same for me. So yeah. I’m fine with this. Yes, it’s a little unnerving thinking that one of your kinda-friends might want to eat you and like… all the doves hanging out at Anteiku? That’s kind of weird. But that’s just how it is.”

“Nagachika and Kaneki – ”

“Have a weird relationship, yeah.” Yoriko sighed. “But take away the fact that he’s a dove, and it’s really not that different from you and me.”

“It really isn’t though.” Touka argued. “We knew each other for years before you found out I was a ghoul. Not to mention you don’t kill my species for a living. The doves bring something entirely different to this equation.”

Yoriko looked sad. “He seems to make Kaneki-san happy, though.”

“This isn’t about happiness.” Touka pressed her mouth into a line. “It’s about survival.”

“You do have a point.”

“Whatever. I don’t want to think about this any more than I have to. I just want to get through this dumbass party and get on with my life.”

Yoriko laughed. “Yeah let’s go. We’ve got work to do!”

The two reactivated their microphones, briefly letting the irritated investigators on the other end know that they were back on line before exiting the cramped bathroom.

The girls walked around the house, Yoriko keeping her eyes pealed for any familiear faces while Touka did her best not to complain.

After a while, Yoriko finally shouted out, “Hey! I see my friends!” and started purposely making her way through the crowd.

Even though it’d likely only been a few minutes, to Touka, it felt like they’d been wandering around the house aimlessly for ages. She wondered why humans bothered doing things like this, and what the point of it all was. Then again, she supposed she would be more into it if she actually knew these people and had something to celebrate, which she didn’t. She was here strictly on business (and also for Yoriko but that was another matter).

Touka’s eyes followed Yoriko’s finger, as the human pointed to a small gathering of young people across the room.

“Over there?” She asked, more for verification that out of actual excitement, though Touka was relieved not to have to wander around aimlessly anymore.

“Yeah, come on! I can’t wait to introduce you!” Yoriko’s joy was palpable, almost infectious, but for some reason, as she approached the group, Touka felt herself grow more and more ill at ease.

Absently, she recalled that the one named ‘Otori’ was supposedly their greatest suspect.

“Hey guys!” Yoriko bounded onward, pulling Touka into the group by the sleeve of her shirt, oblivious to her inner turmoil. “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Touka! Touka, these are my friends, Otori, Kyu, Haru, Asaoka, and Rae!”

Touka kept her face as blank as possible – a natural defense she’d perfected over the years. Somehow, she managed to wave a hand at the group, offering a cool, one-worded greeting and silently hoping she didn’t come off as cold.

“Hi – wait.” The one named Asaoka said, baffled. “Did you just say _girlfriend_?”

“I second that.” Another added, eyes slightly widened in shock.

A chorus of surprised murmurs broke out before Yoriko practically beamed, linking her arm proudly with Touka’s. “Yes! That is what I said.”

“Oh. Well, I gotta say I had no idea swung that way, let alone were even _in_ a relationship, and I’m a little tipsy so I’m feeling totally blindsided here, but congrats for you. It’s nice to meet you Touka-san.” Asaoka said, blinking away his temporary shock before reaching out a friendly hand to shake.

Touka took it, putting on her best smile despite her nerves. “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard a lot about all of you.”

“Well we’ve heard nothing about you.” Rae joked amicably. “But it really is nice to meet you. You’re very pretty; I can see why Yoriko-chan likes you. But you better be treating her right.”

Yoriko’s smile widened. “She is.” The human was happy to have the approval of her college friends (not that it would have mattered to her in the long run, but it was still a nice feeling).

“Wait – hang on.” Otori cut off the conversation, his eyebrows practically disappearing behind his hair. “I – I don’t – Yoriko you’re…?”

“Dude, chill.” Asaoka said, smacking his friend on the back, not unkindly. “It’s like, whatever.”

“I’m just – I’m sorry, Yoriko could we talk in private for a moment?”

Touka’s eyes cut to the male, her face neutral. Otori seemed to have taken the news the worst out of all of Yoriko’s friends. While the others seemed mostly shocked to know Yoriko was dating anyone at all, and recovered quickly, his eyes remained wide, his lips parted, the muscles in his arms, tensed. You would have thought someone just told him his dog died, not that one of his friends happened to prefer other women.

“Sure, I guess.” Yoriko blinked, happiness fading to surprise as she was ushered away from the group before Touka could get another word in.

The ghoul was immediately on edge.

She watched them walk a little ways away, lips pressing in a thin line. However, fortunately, they stopped only a few feet from the group – a far enough distance that no other human would be able to overhear.

Good thing Touka wasn’t a human.

“So Touka-chan, where do you go to school?” Asaoka started, a clear attempt to diffuse the tension.

Touka returned her eyes to the group, answering their questions with a practiced smile and a soft gaze, all the while straining her ears to catch what Otori was saying.

“ _Otori what the hell? What’s this about?_ ” She heard Yoriko hiss. It was clear from the tone of her voice that the baker was displeased with being dragged away from the group.

“I just,” There was a strange note of vulnerability in the boy’s voice, which seemed out of place for someone that the CCG was actively investigating. He exhaled shakily. Touka answered another menial question. “Um. I thought you liked that CCG guy…? That… _Naga-whatever-the-fuck_.”

 _What_.

“What? Why would you think that?”

“I just – I mean he kept showing up around campus and you keep inviting him to things – what was I supposed to think? You even invited him here, didn’t you? I saw him. I – ”

“Otori, I can _assure_ you I don’t have a thing for him. And even if I did, I don’t see why it would matter?”

Yoriko was starting to get angry. Touka could hear it in her voice.

Still, this conversation was _definitely_ not going where she thought it would.

“I just – oh god.” Otori said. He paused, taking another deep breath as if gearing himself up for something. Touka fought to keep her face blank. “I also might have thought… that we had a thing?”

_Oh for fuck’s sake –_

_ >“For fuck’s sake!” _The female investigator repeated in her ear. Touka thought she could hear the male investigator groaning in annoyance as well.

“Oh.” Yoriko was surprised. “I’m sorry to break it to you, Otori, but I don’t like boys at all.”

Otori laughed a little, releasing some of the tension from the atmosphere. “Yeah, I get that now.”

                  >“ _He was_ jealous _of_ Hide _? Are you shitting me?_ _We based our entire investigation around this guy’s antagonistic behavior and it turns out he was just_ jealous _? We’re never going to catch a break.”_

“Uh… Touka-chan?”

“Huh?” Touka blinked, realizing that the entire group was waiting for her to respond to something one of them had asked. Shit… she’d divided her attention too many ways and now all of Yoriko’s dumb college friends were looking at her like she’d grown an extra head.

“Oh, um, sorry I wasn’t listening. What were you saying?” She blinked, offering her best (most uncomfortable) smile.

_Real smooth, Kirishima, real smooth._

_..._

Kaneki would have thought it would have been more difficult to talk to people without Yoriko there to introduce them, but as it turns out, alcohol is an excellent ice breaker. Most the of the humans either didn’t seem to notice, or blatantly didn’t care that neither he nor Hide were as inebriated as them, so long as they were always entertained. Granted, keeping drunks entertained wasn’t really his goal for the evening, and made most of the people relatively difficult to question, but it also helped them narrow down the search by quite a lot.

Ghouls wouldn’t so easily be able to consume human alcohol.         

“We’re getting absolutely no where with this.” Hide stated, roughly an hour into the party, after a group of girls decided Kaneki was “too adorable” to be hugging the walls and tried to force feed him several soaked apple chunks from one of the punch bowls.

“You’re telling me.” Replied Kaneki, kicking a loose apple off the toe of his left shoe.

Hide had saved him from eating by running in between Kaneki and the girls, knocking several cups out of their hands and spraying their contents everywhere. Fortunately, most of the liquid had gotten on _them_ , causing the girls to rush off in search of a bathroom. Still, Kaneki wasn’t overtly pleased about the few flecks of unidentified alcohol that had gotten on his shirt.

“So,” Hide sighed, scanning the room for their next targets. “Where to next?”

Kaneki took the moment to look around as well, trying to pick out any moderately shady individual among the crowd of carefree party-goers. He hadn’t smelled ghoul all night – then again, it was hard to smell anything other than alcohol and sweat, but still, if there was a large ghoul population at the party, Kaneki was pretty sure he would have noticed by now.

“I don’t know. Do you have any ideas, Hide?”

“I guess we could try to find the girls again. Maybe Touka or Yoriko have a better idea.”

                  _> “They don’t.”_ Akira was quick to inform. She sounded bored.

Hide shrugged. “Well I guess if worse comes to worse we can just… enjoy the party?”

There was a groan from over the com, which the blond readily ignored.

“Don’t really see how this could be fun but sure.”

“Anything can be fun if you approach it with the right attitude, _Kaneki_.”

“Don’t chastise me.”

 “But seriously,” The blond continued, tossing his arms out lazily and letting gravity pull them back against his sides in defeat. “At this point I’m starting to think we were so off the mark that we’re just… never going to catch him. We might as well call it quits for the night.”

“Really? That sounds unlike you.”

Hide chuckled. “Yeah well… I’m finally out of ideas and we both reek of booze so… screw it I guess. The investigation is off.” He shrugged, then paused, adding an afterthought, “Unless Touka and Yoriko found something on Otori. Akira?”

                  >“ _No. They… no. Otori isn’t Professor. He’s a human. They’ve pretty much proved his innocence. Let’s just leave it at that.”_

 “Well Akira says they’ve still got nothing.” Hide turned back to Kaneki. “So yeah. Considering this was our last effort to find something, I’d say the investigation is officially over.”

Kaneki half-heartedly lifted a shoulder, sharing Hide’s look of defeat. “Well.” He said, “I guess we should pack up and go home, then.”

“Hang on!” The investigator exclaimed, “We’ve only been here for an hour and a half and haven’t even enjoyed the party yet.”

“Bu – ”

“No-no-no no I’m not taking no as an answer. You need to get out and live a little, Kaneki. Smell the roses, throw a pumpkin off a stranger’s balcony, make friends with a few random drunks and then disappear from their lives forever.”

“What could we even do?” Kaneki pouted, gesturing around the room. “Everyone here is plastered, and it’s not like I’m about to consume human alcohol. I don’t even like drinking _ghoul_ alcohol, if you remember – ”

Hide snickered. “ – Oh I remember – ”

“ – Besides, that seems to be the only reason people are having any fun. I don’t vandalize, I can’t drink, so unless you’ve got any ideas better than _throwing pumpkins off balconies_ , I’d rather just get Touka and Yoriko and head back to :re.”

Hide took a moment to scan the room.

“You wanna dance?” He asked, turning back to his companion, a grin slowly splitting across his face.

Kaneki eyed the crowd warily, noting that only a few groups were actually dancing, the majority of the people grinding up on one another to the rhythm of the music. “Dance.” He repeated dryly, fixing Hide with an incredulous stare.

“Yeah.” Hide repeated, his grin growing wider. “Dance. It _is_ a party after all. And you don’t need alcohol to dance. You just need your feet.”

Kaneki sighed, a sure sign that he was about to give in. “Well I’m not doing _that_.” He said, gesturing to a few of the more obscenely behaving couples in the crowd.

Hide’s laugh was warm. “I wasn’t expecting you to, come on!”

Suddenly, Kaneki was being grabbed around the waist and tugged forward into the crowd. He followed with only mild protesting, allowing himself, if only for a moment, to be swept up in Hide’s enthusiasm.

As usual, Hide moved incredibly smoothly, diving headfirst into the sea of people with inexplicable social grace. Kaneki went with it, twisting easily into the other’s embrace, ignoring the pleased smirk on Hide’s face and the heating of his own ears as he allowed himself to be pulled in close.

One of Hide’s hands found his own, interlacing their fingers while his other arm snaked around the small of his back – a steady pressure keeping them pressed together.

The music was loud and invasive, drowning out the rushing of his blood in his ears. Hide didn’t seem to mind it, content just to sway offbeat in the center of the room, the front of his chest lightly brushing against Kaneki’s, his head pulled back just enough to stare at him with those weird, all-consuming eyes.

Hide looked so happy, insuperable, elated, like there was nothing in the world that could tear him down. The evil smirk on his face had lessened to a soft smile, the corners of his lips just barely curling up like he couldn’t help it. His eyes shinned brightly, warm and full and _staring right at him_ as if Kaneki was somehow responsible for this enchantment.

Kaneki’s heart stuttered, and he averted his eyes, unable to take the brunt of such a forceful look.

Hide chuckled then, daring to pull him in a bit closer, the space between them nothing but a memory.

To his abject horror, Kaneki felt his face heat up again and he ducked his head, hiding it against the side of Hide’s face so the other wouldn’t be able to see the way he affected him. Hide merely hummed, the hand interlaced with Kaneki’s slowly unlocking their fingers to travel delicately up his arm, across his shoulder, against the back of his neck, into his hair. Kaneki shivered, his unfamiliarity with gentle touches betraying his vulnerability.

If Hide felt it, he didn’t mention it, instead carding his fingers through the soft strands at the base of Kaneki’s neck, tilting his head to lean against the other. Kaneki let himself melt into the embrace.

This was… nice.

The techno music playing in the background was a little odd, as were the occasional screams let out by various party-goers, but somehow, Hide managed to put him at ease, even in a situation where Kaneki should have been completely out of his element.

The ghoul exhaled softly, ignoring the sounds of the party and relaxing into their dance, tension he didn’t realize he’d been holding falling away almost naturally.

Hide smelled good, despite what he’d said earlier about reeking of booze. He smelled like human, sure, but also like his scented body wash, and earth, and sugary coffee. It was a scent Kaneki was starting to get used to.

Which, he recognized, probably wasn’t a good thing.

Hide was… amazing. He was everything Kaneki had wanted to be growing up – smart, well-liked, personable, confident. He always knew what to say – whether he was scheming to get something, interviewing a potential ghoul, or trying to make Kaneki laugh. It just came so naturally to him that it was impossible to think he didn’t charm just about everyone with whom he came in contact. He was somehow both considerate and brash – like he’d figured out when it was and wasn’t okay to push the boundaries (with people, work, or otherwise).

Hide was incredible. He was creative and cunning and innovative. He was a force of nature, a hurricane of positive energy, a solar flare. He had a life and great coworkers and a living mother and a good paying job. He was doing good in life, which wasn’t surprising considering how well-rounded he was.

Meanwhile, Kaneki was… _a monster_.

Which is what made this whole arrangement so unusual.

Kaneki let out a shuddering breath, digging his hands into Hide’s back while burying his head further into the crevice between his neck and shoulder.

The investigator made an inquisitive noise in response, firmly rubbing the tense muscles at the base of Kaneki’s neck. “You good?” He inquired, quietly.

Kaneki nodded, not trusting his voice as Touka’s words from the day before came whirling back to the forefront of his memory.

Kaneki was an important person to a lot of people – people who looked up to him for guidance and leadership.

Was he a _good_ leader? Probably not. But he did his best and tried to act rationally.

He tried to be everything his loved ones needed. But he – _he inhaled sharply, Hide’s scent once again filling his nostrils, reminding him of sunny days and warm fuzzy blankets, peace and security –_ he needed to think rationally.

It didn’t matter how good it felt to be held like this, to be close like this, touched like this. It didn’t matter how Hide looked at him, fascinated, hopeful, affectionate. It didn’t matter how badly Kaneki wanted to believe that Hide truly did care for him, that he was anything more than a tool to be used to hike up his paycheck. It didn’t _matter_.

Because reality was never kind to Kaneki Ken.

He’d learned his lesson. And he had the scars to prove it, too.

“Hey,” Hide spoke up suddenly, breaking his train of thought “I guess you could consider this our third date.”

For some reason, that insinuation caused the hairs on the back of Kaneki’s neck to raise up, a chill going down his spine.

The feeling went ignored

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Hide affirmed softly, pulling away just enough to look at him. Kaneki secretly mourned the loss of touch (and decent hiding place). “There was that first night at the park, and then we saw a movie, and then today – the party that was supposed to be an investigation but turned out to be a false lead all along.”

Kaneki scoffed. “And you call yourself a good investigator.”

“Yeah well,” Hide leaned in a little, guiding Kaneki as he turned with the music, “I got _this_ out of it so I’m not complaining. I could stand to lose a case every now and then if it means I get to spend time with you.”

The ghoul raised an eyebrow, trying not to seem too surprised by the other’s admission. “It’s your job though?”

Hide’s laugh was nervous this time, not at all cocky and full of confidence as Kaneki had grown accustomed. It was… _strange_ … and had his insides all twisty again. “I uh, yeah it’s my job.” The blond said, averting his eyes in an uncharacteristic display of bashfulness. “But work isn’t… everything to me. I hope you know that.”

“But it’s… Hide.” Kaneki furrowed his brow, gray eyes searching Hide’s face even as they continued to sway together. “It should matter to you.”

“I didn’t say it didn’t matter! I’m just, ugh I should really learn how to be more direct. I guess I’m just trying to tell you that I really like you and I was wondering what all of this… makes us?”

Kaneki blinked, Hide’s words washing over him. “Are you asking me?”

“Yeah,” Hide’s laugh was breathless this time, a bubble of nerves rising to the surface. “I am. What does this make us?”

“I don’t…” Kaneki bit his lip. He was beginning to sweat, and he hoped Hide couldn’t feel the shaking in his hands. “I don’t know. I uh…. Could we, um. Could we maybe talk about this another time?”

“Um, sure.” Hide seemed disappointed, and Kaneki immediately felt bad, heart-rate picking up once again. “You’re right, there’s probably a better time and place for this conversation, especially since Amon and Akira are totally listening in.” Hide chuckled nervously again, then swallowed, bringing his eyes back to Kaneki. “But uh, are you okay, man? You’ve seemed a little off tonight. Ever since we picked you up at :re.”

“Wha – I’m fine.” Kaneki was quick to lie, his voice shaky. He suddenly felt as if he’d been doused in cold water. “Everything’s fine. We uh,”

_Oh god._

Kaneki sucked in a breath of air, eyes growing wide and distant. Something was clawing at his chest – raw panic.

It demanded his attention.

“I-I uh,”

Hide’s eyes had gone wide too, concerned. Why was he concerned? It’s not like he’s known Kaneki for all that long. A few weeks at best, not counting their first meeting. Kaneki should be _nothing_ to him.

And even if Hide really did care about him, it’s not like this relationship was feasible.

Kaneki was only setting himself up for more tragedy.

The longer he waited the sooner it would come.

“W-w-we should – ”

“H-hey,” Hide said, suddenly pulling away, the concern in his eyes deepening into genuine distress. He put a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder, trying to coax him into meeting his eyes. “Kaneki, breathe. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re starting to freak me out a little bit.”

“I-I, uh, Hide?”

“Yeah?”

Kaneki forced his throat to obey him, pushing out a choked, “What are we? Wh-what are we doing?”

Hide blinked, taken aback. “I – what do you mean?”

“What is – oh god – what were we _thinking_?!”

“Hey! Calm down. Kaneki, come on, you’re not breathing. You’ve got to breathe.”

“What are we – wh-what are – this is such a bad idea.”

“ - H-hang on! - ”

“Oh god I can’t,” His lungs demanded air, causing him to suck in a sharp, shallow breath even as he tried to talk through his anxiety. By now, his entire body had gone cold, and his arms were visibly shaking at his sides, despite Hide’s efforts to steady him. “I can’t – I can’t – ”

“You can’t what?” Hide’s voice was almost pleading.

“I – I can’t _do this_ anymore.”

Judging by the way Hide’s breath hitched and eyes filled with dread, it seemed he knew what Kaneki meant. Still, with a steady voice, Hide asked, “What can’t you do anymore?”

With shaky hands, Kaneki gestured between them. “ _This_.”

“ _Oh_.”

The cold continued to wash over him in waves, his heart hammering in his tight throat, his blood rushing in his ears.

“Can we… can we talk about this? We’ve got to talk about this.”

No longer able to speak, Kaneki nodded.

“Okay… okay then. Let’s… go upstairs? There’s got to be a few empty rooms up there. Come on.”

…

                  _> “Hide where are you going? You’re supposed to be staying with the party.”_

_ >“Don’t take out your headset.”_

_ >“Are you even listening?”_

_ >“I’m serious, don’t take it out.”_

_ >“We need to know where you are at all times. This is serious.”_

_ >“Hide?”_

_..._

“You’re Yoriko’s girlfriend, huh.” Yoriko’s friend Kyu flopped down next to her on the couch, a note of awed disbelief in her voice.

“Yeah.” Touka repeated for what felt like the twentieth time that evening, trying to keep her tone even. She was starting to grow tired of the way these people kept addressing her just as ‘Yoriko’s Girlfriend’ like that was only interesting thing about her.

“I am.”

The other girl blinked, her small watery eyes going wide and round. Touka internally winced. Looks like she wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping her face straight after all.

“I’m sorry,” Kyu squeaked. “I hope I didn’t offend you. It’s just… surprising is all. And wow, you’re really beautiful. I mean like, really, _really_ beautiful. I can see why Yoriko is attracted to you.”

“Um.” Touka blinked. “Thank… you?”

“I’m sorry.” The girl added, seeming to sense Touka’s growing discomfort. She frowned, averting her eyes, chuckling uncomfortably. “I… really don’t mean to say these things it’s just… hard not to notice.”

“Uh….”

The laugh suddenly went from nervous to bitter. “How are you so pretty? You… and Yoriko too I guess… and I’m just….”

Well this conversation was quickly going south.

_Ah shit – was this girl seriously about to cry?!_

Touka did not handle crying very well.

“You – you’re pretty too.” The ghoul said quickly, noting the way Kyu’s eyes were starting to glass over – a telltale sign that tears were just across the horizon.

Comforting a drunk, insecure human while Yoriko was off having a great time with her friends hadn’t really been on Touka’s agenda for this evening.

“Um. There there?” Touka patted Kyu’s back, flinching a bit as she hiccupped. She quickly scanned the crowd for her girlfriend. Yoriko was much better at these sort of things. “Yoriko!”

“Huh?” The blonde suddenly emerged from the crowd, almost comedically fast. Her movements gained Otori’s attention as well, and the two were both quick to emerge at Touka’s side. “What’s going on?”

“Is Kyu crying?”

“I-I’m fine! Really!” The mousy haired drunk insisted, even as her voice broke and tears streamed down her face.

“You’re clearly not.” Otori said bluntly, snaking and arm between Touka and his friend to cautiously pat her back.

Yoriko bent down to Kyu’s level, a sympathetic look on her face. “Hey let’s go to the bathroom, okay?”

Kyu hiccupped and nodded, allowing her two friends to sweep her off the couch and usher her off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

As they were going, Yoriko leaned over to Touka, whispering a swift apology "Kyu was a crying drunk" and promising to be back soon.

That’s how Touka ended up all alone.

“Well this blows.” She said to no one in particular, regarding the scene before her in disdain. “Hey tweedle dee and tweedle dumb, where are Kaneki and the trainwreck?”

 _ >“We don’t know.” _The female’s voice rang in her ear.

Touka frowned, digging deeper into the cushions of the couch as she crossed her arms. “What do you mean you don’t know?” She demanded.

Her patience was _really_ running thin.

                  _> “They stopped responding to us about five minutes ago. It sounded like Kaneki was distressed, so they went somewhere private to talk. Hide since removed all of our listening equipment, even as we explicitly told him not to.”_ Amon explained.        

_ >“I believe they’re discussing the terms of their relationship.”_

Internally, Touka winced, a pang of guilt and worry striking her heart as she thought about the emotional turmoil Kaneki must be facing at the moment, and feeling sorry for her friend. Outwardly, however, she said, “Gross.”

_ >“My sentiments exactly.” _

“So how much longer to we have to stay here? I’m pretty sure this plan was a bust.”

                  >“ _Ideally we’d like you to stay until the end but… considering our lack of success I suppose you can leave whenever you want. Hide has also expressed a desire to scrap this case, so it really doesn’t matter if you stay to the end or not anymore._ ” Akira explained.

“Great.” Touka muttered. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

Now she just had to wait for Yoriko to get back, and then for Kaneki and Blondie. She sank further into the couch and continued to watch the crowd with boredom.

Her eyes scanned the crowd. She watched some jackass do a handstand on a table. She saw several girls spill their drinks while playing some bizarre drinking game Touka had never seen before. She observed the crowd indifferently, people moving around the house, nothing in particular catching her interest.

_Until –_

“Whoa, what the fuck? Is that…?”

_ >“What is it?”_

Touka’s eyes widened, her gaze locked on a single figure steadily making his way across the room, dark purple hair, black clothes and smooth movements sticking out against the sea of colorful drunks.

She shot up from her seat immediately, blood running cold.

“We need to leave. _Now_.”

                  _> “What’s going on?”_

_ >“Miss Kirishima, who’s there?.” _

Touka swallowed the lump in her throat, already pushing through the crowd in the direction that Yoriko, Otori, and Kyu had disappeared.

“My brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like, that because I had this idea so long ago, and because I've played it over in my head so many times, it's become kind of... distorted? Like the first few times this scene came to me it was so vivid and energized that by the time I actually got around to writing it was just kind of... meh???  
> Anyway, I had a hard time writing this chapter. I feel like I just needed to be in the right mindset to really capture the emotion that I wanted to but it just wasn't happening so I did my best to spit this out anyway.  
> I hope you still liked it! (It's something right, lol) I'm going to try to update more often from now (mostly because I just want to be done with this already) I guess this chapter will just be some practice for writing through writer's block  
> Hopefully the next one will be a bit better  
> Have a good day!!


	19. Party (part 2)

Ayato Kirishima usually understood his organization’s motives. This time, however, the true objective of his mission evaded him. 

It seemed so… trivial. Unimportant. What was the purpose of terrorizing this menial college party? Drunks were way too easy of a target, and besides, their time could be much better spent going after the CCG at it’s core. After all, wasn’t that really what Aogiri was all about? Taking down the CCG and establishing a ghoul-dominant presence in the world? He failed to see how teaming up with one insignificant gang leader would help advance their objectives whatsoever.

From what he gathered, Ayato wasn’t very impressed with Professor. She was damaged and volatile and deranged and definitely not in the ways that made a good subordinate. Her eating habits were also rather… distasteful, and unnecessary, not to mention bat-shit crazy. He had no idea what his superiors were thinking, teaming up with a lunatic like her, even if she did, inexplicably, have a lot of followers.

Unless it was the biology professor that his superiors were truly after? Though, to Ayato, even he seemed to be off his rocker, and not nearly as brilliant as Kanou. Still, he sucked up his protests and decided to do what Tatara ordered him to. He was only a pawn in the greater scheme of things after all. He shouldn’t question what he didn’t understand. He was here to create disorder, to help Aogiri gain the trust of The Professor by aiding in her plans for the evening, to bring back to base a new batch of bodies and that was it.

At least that’s what he’d thought, until he caught sight of another pair of lilac eyes staring him down from across the room, eerily similar to his own.

 _What the hell was_ she _doing here?_

Ayato froze mid-step, gaze locked on his sister’s, her face as chillingly blank as he imagined his own to be. 

It had been a while since he’d seen her, and her short hair was a shade lighter than he remembered, but he’d recognize her anywhere. He promised his father he’d protect her, after all.

Which, again, begged the question: _why was she here?_ And more importantly: _how could he get her to leave?_

Before he could make up his mind, Touka moved, mumbling something to herself and tearing her eyes away from his as she started to shove through the crowd. Internally, Ayato relaxed. It seemed his presence here was enough to alert her of danger. Maybe he wouldn’t have to do anything after all.

Ayato shook himself free of his trance and continued his trek through the crowd. It was time to get into position.

* * *

 

The sound of the door closing rung in Kaneki’s ears, impossibly loud against the quiet of the small unoccupied bedroom Hide had managed to find, muting the sounds of the raging party still going on below.

His hands fumbled around his ear, somehow managing to locate and remove the earpiece even in his heightened state of anxiety. The small microphone in his shirt went next. Akira and Amon’s protests: unheard.

Trembling, Kaneki turned to find Hide doing the same, removing his equipment and placing it on the dresser beside the closed door. His expression was nearly blank, only the crease between his eyebrows and the slight down-turning of the corners of his lips betraying his unease.

The other man seemed to hesitate for a moment, jerking forward and then stopping, considering his actions before finally taking a step towards the bed and sitting down, patting the space beside him cautiously, his eyes never leaving Kaneki.

The ghoul moved on quaking legs, the threat of collapsing too great to ignore, even as he sat down next to his greatest source of anxiety. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Hide, focusing his eyes forward and trying to choke down the golf ball sized lump in his throat. He needed to regain some sort of composure, and quickly. He really didn’t want to have this conversation like this, but there was a strange sense of urgency screaming at him from the back of his mind.

“Okay, I know we’re in the middle of an important discussion but holy _shit_ you need to _breathe_.” Hide broke the silence, voice wispy and winded like he’d gotten punched in the gut. Disregarding the heaviness crackling between them, Hide reached over and pulled Kaneki to his side, rubbing his own minutely trembling hand up and down the other’s arm as if trying to warm him up.

Kaneki let himself get pulled in almost in a daze, flopping lifelessly against the investigator’s side with a cough as the lump in his throat was violently ripped from him with the sudden, forceful movement. He shuddered for a moment, catching his breath. All the while, Hide grabbed Kaneki’s far hand, placing it palm open against Hide’s chest, just over his heart.

“Okay, look at me, you need to _breathe_.” Hide said again, voice just as strained as before. His concern was mind-bogglingly genuine. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I really need you to look at me, okay? Good. Feel my heartbeat. Feel how steady it is? I want you to try and replicate it. Slow yours down.”

“Yours is fast.” Kaneki managed, curtly.

Hide laughed, more nerves than anything. “Well yeah. You’re kind of scaring me right now, dude, so…. Alright well… scratch that, then.”

Kaneki’s hand was released, and he let it fall into his lap listlessly. It was starting to feel a little numb and tingly.

“Instead, how about we work on your breathing? Does that sound good?”

Kaneki managed a weak nod.

“Okay… okay, good. I’m going to count to four and I want you to breath in on those four counts. Then I’ll say ‘hold’ and you hold your breath for another four counts and then you can release. Sound good?”

“Yeah.”

The next minute or so was filled with struggling breaths and quiet counting as the compression in Kaneki’s chest gradually relented, allowing him to breathe a little more freely, which isn’t to say he was any less restless.

Still, as Kaneki slowly collected himself, Hide stopped counting, instead focusing on rubbing circles on his back as the ghoul put his head between his knees.

“For how long have you been getting panic attacks?” Hide asked, an attempt at conversation.

Kaneki swallowed stiffly, rubbing his hands against his thighs to get his muscles to their sporadic twitching; it was frustrating and uncomfortable. Still, he welcomed the brief distraction the investigator was offering. “I don’t know… I think I’ve had them for a while. But they got really bad a few years ago.” He admitted.

Hide hummed. “What happened a few years ago?”

“I don’t – just….”

“Anteiku burning down?”

Kaneki shook his head.

“Fighting Arima?”

He shook his head again, anxiety spiking under the sudden onslaught of questions. He sucked in a shuddering breath, and Hide seemed to realized that he wasn’t helping.

“Ah, okay, um. What normally makes you feel better?”

“J-just breathing, a-and reading – ”

“Music?”

Kaneki nodded, managing to sit up a little bit.

“Okay! I can work with that. I have my phone with me and I think I brought my headphones!” Hide exclaimed, fumbling with his coat pockets. After a moment of searching, he managed to dig out a pair of headphones and his cell phone, hooking it up and handing it to Kaneki, who accepted it hesitantly.

_“BackStreet’s back, alright!”_

Kaneki jumped, yanking the headphones from his ears immediately.

Hide looked startled, then took a moment to check what his phone was playing and blushed a little. “Ah, whoops. Sorry about that. I’ll put on something a little more relaxing.”

Kaneki managed a shaky smile and a small laugh. Somehow Hide’s bizarre taste in music helped calm him down. “That’s okay….” He said, “I think I’m okay now, actually. I uh, I’m ready to t-talk.”

Hide raised his eyebrows. “You sure? You don’t sound very ready.”

“It’s fine.” Kaneki waved a hand dismissively. “This happens all the time.”

Hide looked apprehensive, but he dropped his shoulder in defeat. “Alright….” He turned on the bed, hiking a leg up onto the mattress so he could more easily face Kaneki, his posture uneasy. “So you… you get attacks like this a lot, huh? Can I ask what usually brings them on?”

The ghoul shrugged noncommittally. “Lots of things.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. Stress.”

“What freaked you out this time?

“Honestly?” Kaneki asked. He looked infinitely exhausted, the bags underneath his eyes abnormally pronounced, his eyelids drooping. “You did.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” Kaneki admitted, finally gaining the resolve to look Hide in the eye. “You did.”

“Oh… I don’t….” Hide seemed to be at a loss, pulling back slightly, eyes searching. Kaneki could practically see the gears in his head turning, turning over every one of their interactions as if he could pinpoint one specific moment where he might have gone wrong, looking for any and all miscalculations. Finally, he shifted, deciding on his next words. “What… what about me is scaring you?”

Kaneki threw up his hands in exasperation – at Hide, at his guileless, basic question, at the situation, at himself. “What’s scaring me? – _Everything_ is scaring me. I don’t understand how you’re _not_ scared. Then again I guess I can… this whole - this whole thing isn’t as serious for you as it is for me.”

“I – _what?_ – Kaneki – ”

“I mean!” Kaneki interrupted, suddenly shooting up from the bed. “Like…. You can – you can just go home at the end of the day, and go back into work in the morning and it doesn’t matter – it doesn’t matter because the only people affected by your choices are _you_ – ”

“Wait – that’s not true – ”

“And I just – I just can’t justify ha-having anything to do with you. Not to my friends, not to my followers…. not to myself.” Kaneki said, his voice losing momentum at the end of his sentence as he gradually stopped his pacing to look over at the investigator still seated, gaping, on the edge of the bed.

Slowly, as if to appear nonthreatening, Hide stood too, holding up his hands, in the universal sign for ‘I come in peace’. “Hang on. I don’t – what is – what exactly is the problem here?” He said, voice wavering in his nervousness. “Just, I just… I mean. Haven’t things been… going pretty well, though? Between… us – _wait_! Hear me out for a second, okay? We… we come from two very different worlds. And it’s dangerous. I understand that. But don’t for a second think that this isn’t serious for me too, that I’m not taking things seriously. I know that I joke around a lot and I might not seem like the most sincere person in the world but… Kaneki I wouldn’t have let things get this far if… if I wasn’t being careful. And I dragged Akira and Amon into this too, two of my only friends in this world, I might add.”

“Okay,” Kaneki interrupted, sensing that Hide had run out of steam. “then tell me this: what exactly are you looking to gain from continuing on like this?”

Hide was clearly taken aback. “What do you mean?

“Just – what do you want from me?”

“What do I _want_ from you?

“Yeah! I don’t think that’s that crazy of a question. What… what are we _doing_? It was sort of fine at the beginning, back when this whole thing was just a – just some stupid arrangement to help keep the ward safe and kick out dangerous ghouls. That made sense. This,” Kaneki added, gesturing between them. “ _Doesn’t_. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t see what you could possibly hope to gain by – by being with me. I’m not just anyone, Hide, I’m a goddamn _monster_ , and you’re the guy that’s supposed to be hunting me down!”

“But I’m _not_. I would nev – I’m not going to turn you or your family in, Kaneki.”

“How can you be so _sure_?” Kaneki demanded. “ _Something_ is going to happen. Something _always_ happens. And I don’t know what it is but it isn’t hard to imagine. I mean, what happens when you get a case – a-and it’s for Rabbit, or Gourmet, or literally _any_ of the ghouls that work at :re? What are you going to do then? Dismiss the case? Give false reports indefinitely? What if they _figure you out_? Or worse, let’s say we did find the Professor. As you know, before I kill the ghouls in this ward I always give them a chance to join :re – to renounce their ways and change for the better. But you – you can’t do that! You’re _obligated_ to kill them and it’s not like – like if you turned in a bunch of evidence to the CCG beforehand its not like you could just _pretend_ to have never found him. You’d be discovered immediately!”

“Kaneki – ”

“And what about Akira and Amon? Like, sure, maybe you won’t ever turn on us but can you say the same for them? Akira _despises_ me – it isn’t hard to tell. How long before she comes up with some way to spin all of this so that she can get rid of us without you getting into any trouble – ”

“Come on! I would _never_ let her _do_ that – ”

“I mean, Amon has already tried to kill Hinami once – ”

“ _Knock it off!_ ”

“Or what if – what if a year from now you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into or what if we have a bad fight or the _wonder_ wears off and nothing is exciting anymore and you get _bored_ and suddenly protecting us isn’t your number one priority anymore?”

“ _Seriously_?! Is that _really_ the kind of person you think I am?” Hide was looking angry now, shoulders tense, eyebrows draw inwards, and usually smiling lips pressed together, the corners turned down.

“Well – _No!_ – I don’t know! Maybe! I want to believe that you’re not but I’ve made that mistake before.” Kaneki chuckled then, all the anger and anxiety inside him building and releasing in that short, bitter breath of air. “And it fucked me up for a long time. And I can’t – _I can’t_ – make that mistake again.”

Hide shuffled in frustration, hands in his pockets and head tilted down as he stared a fiery hole into the carpet. He shook himself, steadied himself, and met Kaneki’s gaze once more, his eyes a well of conflicting emotions, like he couldn’t settle on just one. “What are you trying to say?”

“That – that we’re just setting ourselves up for failure. That none of this is going to work out – that everything is now and always will be terrible and we’re just deluding ourselves by thinking that anything we’re doing right now is worthwhile.”

It was Hide’s turn to throw his arms up in exasperation, shaking his head a bit as he did so, in absolute disbelief. “That doesn’t really tell me anything, Kaneki. What aspect of this are you talking about?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you talking about our professional relationship? About my friends at the CCG working with yours? Or are you just talking about… whatever’s been going on with us?”

Kaneki deflated a little bit. “I don’t know. All of it. Us.”

“That’s what triggered your panic attack to begin with, wasn’t it? When I asked you to um, define our relationship?”

Kaneki paused for a moment, eyes locked with Hide’s, once again feeling small and vulnerable and _he did not like it_.

Still, he nodded.  

“Well…” Hide shuffled again, the offense he had taken at Kaneki’s previous outburst having completely subsided and nervous insecurity reigning control once more. He swallowed. “I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel about… you but I still want to know, you know, if you feel the same.”

The ghoul exhaled shakily, averting his eyes. “I don’t see how that matters.”

“You don’t see how it matters?”

“No, because we can’t be together anyway, so what’s the point even _talking_ about it?”

“What do you _mean_ we can’t be together? We’ve been – we’re practically dating as it is. We just haven’t _talked_ about it. I don’t know if you’ve notice but we’ve been doing some very _not_ - _friend_ things lately. So I don’t see how putting a label on it, or acknowledging it would pose any greater problem?” Hide questioned, for once seeming genuinely confused.

“It – it doesn’t! That’s not what I’m trying to say.” Kaneki amended, rubbing his hands down his face in frustration.

“Then what _are_ you trying to say?”

“That we – that we have to _stop_ this. The couple stuff a-and the kissing and the casual touching a-and everything. We just – we can’t do that.”

“And why not?”

“Because we would never work! I don’t get how you don’t see that?!”

“We’re working fine now! Or at least _I_ thought we were. I don’t get this, Kaneki. Do you not like me that way? This would make a hell of a lot more sense to me if you just said, hey Hide – I’m not fucking attracted to you! Or ‘I think you’re super annoying!’. Or ‘I don’t actually like you I was just trying to be nice!’. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case, to me. It sounds like – like – I don’t even know. Like you’re afraid and using it as an excuse to justify the perpetuation of your own unhappiness?”

“Life _isn’t happy_ , Hide!”

“Well not if you push everyone away!”

Kaneki bit his lip and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. His heart rate was steadily rising, and he didn’t want to get too overwhelmed and lash out more than he already had. “Alright,” He said, slowing down his speech. “Then for the sake of the argument, let’s say I _did_ have feelings for you. And we agreed to date like… officially. Then what?”

“Then… nothing? I don’t think all that much would change. We could just… get to know each other better.”

“Okay see, there’s the problem. You’re looking at this like everything’s fine – like we’re both normal people with normal lives. We can’t just have some – some casual fling. Or, _I_ can’t… at least. So if we did start dating, it would have to be a pretty serious relationship. And as far as I know, relationships like that always end in either one of two ways: break up or marriage. I don’t think I could handle the stress of a bad break up, not with the way everyone’s counting on me to protect the ward, not with the identities and lives of all of my friends out in the open like this. And marriage isn’t even on the table.”

“Well….” Hide shuffled again. “Why not?”

Kaneki paused, startled by the twinge of vulnerability in the other’s voice. “You would… want that?”

“I dunno I… might. I mean, obviously not _now_ but… I wouldn’t say it’s _off_ the table… necessarily.”

“But….” Kaneki swallowed, paused, scoffed. “But it _is_. I’m – I’m a missing person. I can’t file f-for something like that. Ever. And besides, what would you even tell your coworkers when they can’t come to – to the…? You can’t just _be married_ and never talk about it. That’s not an easy secret to keep. For fuck’s sake I’m _sure_ that keeping your relationship with :re secret is hard enough already. To get any more wrapped up in each other’s lives would be downright suicidal.”

“You’re a missing person?”

Kaneki offered a blank, annoyed stare.

“Ah right,” Hide scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, “kinda missing the point, aren’t I? Well… on that note… what if I… quit?”

“Quit? Quit what? Quit your _job_?”

The investigator nodded with a small shrug. “Yeah. I already told you that I’m not really that invested in this. Becoming a CCG investigator… that was more of a way to pay for college than anything. I’m not particularly attached. I only have one more year on my contract anyway so like… yeah.”

Kaneki balked. “Are you _crazy_?”

“No.” Hide said, affronted.

“I don’t think you’re seeing this clearly, Hide. We’ve only known each other for _barely_ two months. That’s a huge sacrifice to be willing to make.”

“Well I didn’t say I’d be quitting now. I still have a _year_ on my contract and I think that’s plenty of time to decide… you know… what’s more important to me.”

“You don’t even KNOW me!”

“Again, I’m not saying _now_.”

“Still, to even be thinking about something like that….” Kaneki was running out of steam and to top if off, it felt like he was starting to lose this argument. Which, all things considered, was a pretty conflicting thought in and of itself. On the one hand, Kaneki felt it was his responsibility to make the safe choice – to cut everything off and focus more on protecting the futures of the ghouls of :re. That was the part that kept him going, righteous anger spurring his need to think rationally and drawing from all of the negative experiences in his life for ammunition. On the other hand… a part of him really didn’t want to win this argument. The selfish part. The part that thought only of his own desires and would risk the world in a heartbeat if it meant he could vanquish the loneliness from his soul for even a few hours.

Frowning dismally, he lowered his eyes to the floor. Then again, Hide didn’t really know what he was getting himself into. As much as he wanted to believe it would work out in the end, it wouldn’t. Not with all of Kaneki’s issues. Not with how deeply entrenched he was within the ghoul underworld. Even if Hide did one day decide to quit being a CCG agent, it would still be dangerous for him, being connected to Kaneki. And what’s worse, he would no longer have any means of protecting himself. No quinque, no contacts…. And this was his _life_ he was talking about. If he really did decide to give up everything and then… later when he realized what he’d really tied himself down to there’s no telling what would happen.

Well, resentment, that’s for sure. And probably regret.

That was too much sacrifice to make for someone who couldn’t even tell him he was once human.

With a scoff, Kaneki shook his head, fear, and frustration, and annoyance returning tenfold. His voice dropped an octave, low and quiet and somehow steady despite the way he felt like he might collapse at any moment. “You really don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, do you?”

“Oh, come on….”

“I’m not _stable_ , Hide. I’m not the kind of person you make those sacrifices for.” He took a step forward, body moving of its own accord. Hide eyed him warily, face swimming with uncertainty. “I _panic_ and _break down_ and _hurt people_. It might now seem like it, from what you’ve seen, because I’ve worked so hard to repress those instincts, but I _do_. Even now, there’s a part of me, that just wants to scream and release my kagune and wreck havoc on anyone that ever gets in my way, anyone that disagrees with me or tries to hurt me. It comes out, sometimes, when I hunt down problem ghouls in the ward. The want to kill. I _hate_ that I’m like this, that I lose control and feel the need to cause my victims unnecessary pain even though I know I’m much stronger than them and could end their suffering in seconds. And it’s all because…. Well _why_ doesn’t really matter does it? No amount of suffering gives you the right to harm innocent people. But I digress. The minute you see that side of me – _really see it_ – you’ll want nothing to do with me. And rightfully so. I’m every bit the monster the CCG makes me out to be. I killed all those ghouls at the Ghoul Restaurant, all those years ago, because I was angry. Because I was high on power and wanted revenge and information so that I could hunt down and hurt all the _other_ people who have wronged me. And I enjoyed it. Not all of me, but a part of me did – enjoyed their screams and the looks of fear on their faces when they realized I was more of a threat than they initially thought. And even if I… even if I’ve come to terms with that part of myself, even if it’s been a while since I carelessly took life like that, it still doesn’t make me any less of a murderer. And to say it doesn’t matter because the lives I took were _ghoul_ lives would be highly hypocritical.”

“But that’s what I’m saying. That’s just a small part of you – a bad part? Sure. But it’s not _who you are_. _You_ are the person that fought so hard to repress those urges. You’re the one that was smart enough to realize that what you were doing was wrong and strong enough to change. _You_ are the person that would put their live and happiness on the line to protect the lives and happiness of all their friends. Have you done bad things? Sure, we all have. But those bad things are what helped you grow into the person that you are today. They’re still a part of you, but they’re not _all that you are_. And as long as you are _you_ – I don’t care about the past.”

“You _should_ care about the past. You should _always_ care about the past. History has a tendency to repeat itself.”

“Maybe it will! I don’t know.” Hide interjected. “And then again, maybe it won’t. But I _do_ know that I care about you – in a way that’s different from the way I care about my friends. And I know I want to be with you, constantly. And I know that I like listening to you talk about the things you care about, and that I like making you laugh, and I like the way you look at me when I say something stupid. And I definitely don’t care that you’re a ghoul. Would I be upset if you changed and became as sadistic and cruel as you seem to believe you are? _Absolutely_. But when you love someone, you’re willing to take those risks… because to not have tried – to have just let someone slip away because of a ‘ _maybe’_ ….” Hide shook his head, exhaling a shaky breath and slouching slightly as he collected his thoughts. “To always wonder ‘what if’… that kind of regret is absolutely unbearable to me.”

Kaneki swallowed and tried to will down the watering in his eyes.

This was… so confusing.

Hide was looking with a pleading expression, eyes wide and helpless and Kaneki knew, with only a few short words he could have Hide either crying in relief or of a broken heart.

That was a terrifying amount of power to hold over someone.

But then again, didn’t Hide hold the same power over him?

The investigator seemed to sense his hesitation, and with a daring, albeit shaky step forward, Hide spoke. “Kaneki… please just… don’t throw this away because of the ‘maybes’ and the ‘what ifs’.” He said, stepping closer, and Kaneki was frozen under his watery stare. “I’ll quit the CCG, a-and I’ll never resent you for it. _Please_ I don’t…. I know it hasn’t been that long but it already feels like – and I want you in my life so _badly_ I can’t even imagine going back to….”

Hide stepped all the way into his personal space, then, brave enough to reach out and pull Kaneki into a loose-limbed embrace, like he wasn’t sure if he was still allowed the privilege, and Kaneki shivered, inhaled Hide’s warm, comforting scent, and let himself enjoy the moment, fleeting as it was.

When Hide whispered another, desperate “ _please_ ” against the side of his neck, Kaneki nearly melted into the touch and gave in, wanting nothing more than to save the investigator from any and everything hurting him.

But he didn’t. He steeled himself, chocking down the lump in his throat, and furiously blinking the water out of his eyes. “Hide…” With a display of willpower that surprised even himself, Kaneki pulled out of the delicate embrace. His heart hammered in his ears. “… _I can’t_.”

Hide let him step away, breath whooshing from his lungs like he’d been punched in the stomach. He seemed frozen for a moment, utterly shocked, like he didn’t quite believe that this was happening. It took some time, but, slowly, the realization seemed to dawn on him, and his face dropped.

“I understand.” He said, voice somehow devoid of emotion, and Kaneki wanted to scream.

And he might have, if the hundreds of people just a floor below him hadn’t beat him to it.

* * *

 

                  >“ _Your brother?_ ”

Touka twisted through the crowd, eyes occasionally sweeping the room for sight of one of Yoriko’s friends, or even better, for Yoriko herself. Unfortunately, the other girl was nowhere to be seen.

                  > _“Isn’t that a good thing_?” The male investigator asked in her ear. _“He’s family, right? That means more back up.”_

“You’re missing the part where my brother works for _Aogiri Tree_.” Touka barked as she pushed through the sea of people, grinding her teeth together in frustration. God, where the hell was Yoriko? And Kaneki, for that matter.

For a moment, Touka heard nothing from the other end of the line, until an exhaled ‘ _fuck’_ broke the silence and Akira started talking in a rush.

                  >“ _You’re right. We need to get out of here immediately. Of all the times for Hide to take off his headset…. I’m going to need you to track down Hide and Kaneki first. Yoriko should still have her headset in, so we’ll inform her of the change of plans_.”

Touka nodded, reluctant to leave Yoriko to her own devices but able to acknowledge that without his earphones in, Kaneki was the one who was in more danger. “Alright. I’ll head towards the staircase. They said they were going up, right?”

                  >“ _Yes_.”

 Abruptly, Touka changed directions, trekking deeper into the house as she searched for the nearest staircase.

_ >“Do you have any idea why your brother would be here?”_

“No clue. But if he’s here then he’s not alone. I highly doubt he would choose to come to something like this of his own free will.”

_ >“Do you have any idea why Aogiri would be here?” _

“No. Can we maybe talk about this after we get out of here? Because if they _are_ planning an attack I’m sure you’d want to alert the CCG. But hey, can’t fucking do that while Kaneki and I are still in the building so It’d be great if I could focus on escaping. Thanks.” Touka snapped, the gravity of the situation making her short temper even shorter.

                  >“You’re right. We’ll theorize later. For now, focus on getting Hideyoshi and Kaneki out of here.”

“On it.” Touka said, drawing closer to the staircase. She maneuvered around the crowd, cursing all the while as she tried to avoid the inherent chaos that came with a bunch of drunk students. Somehow, she managed to avoid getting spilled on. “Anyway, have you heard back from Yori – ”

Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, Touka was grabbed by the arm and pulled into a small hallway adjacent to the stairs. The air left her in a rush as her back connected roughly with the wood paneled wall behind her, and she narrowed her eyes, baring her teeth at the young man that had pulled her off course.

“What the hell do you think you’re _doing here_?” Ayato hissed, a look of absolute fury on his face. “A minute ago you were heading towards the exit. Do you have a fucking death wish, _big_ _sister_?”

_ >“Miss Kirishima? Are you alright?”_

“Ayato….” Touka tried to repress the growl, but it didn’t work, her voice coming out gravelly and threatening. “ _Get out of my way_.”

Ayato ignored her, setting his jaw. “ _Leave_.”

“Why? What are you and the rest of your shitty gang planning? Did Aogiri decide its newest mission should be to fight the war on underage drinking?”

_ >“Miss Kirishima!” _

“None of your damn business.”

“ _Like hell it isn’t_.” Touka retorted, eyes narrowing menacingly as she squared her shoulders. Ayato had grow quite a bit since the last time she’d seen him. He had to be nearly a head taller than her now, even in her heals. Still, if her little _shit_ of a brother thought she would back down without a fight, he had another thing coming. “What could Aogiri _possibly_ hope to gain by coming here? What are you after?”

She moved forward, sticking an accusatory finger to Ayato’s chest as she pushed off the wall.

“Relax, sis, it’s just a recruitment drive. Still, we can’t have any bystanding ghouls wandering around, so unless you beat it in the next five minutes, I’m going to have to kick you out of here by force.” The younger’s voice turned taunting, but there was still a darker edge to it that had the hair on Touka’s arms standing straight up.

She searched his face. “Recruitment drive?”

_ >“I’m coming in.” _

“What? Jealous Aogiri doesn’t want anything to do with your weak ass?” Ayato smirked coldly before carefully wiping the emotion from his face once again. “Yeah a recruitment drive. We’re joining forces with a local gang but they wanted our help pulling of some ridiculous murder spree before officially joining.” The boy rolled his eyes, as if the whole thing annoyed him.

Meanwhile, Touka’s blood ran ice cold. She pressed her lips into a thin line, eyes staring down her brother, unblinking. “Which ghoul are you after?”

“Huh?”

_“Which fucking ghoul, Ayato?”_

Ayato didn’t get a chance to answer, however, as a series of surprised screams suddenly broke out from the next room over. Touka’s head snapped in the direction of the commotion in time to see a large, ponytailed ghoul in a black coat impale some kid with his bikaku, nonchalantly tossing the body across the room. The party broke up immediately – drunks running in every direction, turning this way and that, tumbling over one another as they realized certain exits were being blocked.

Oh god, this was one of Aogiri’s terror attacks, wasn’t it? And they were stuck in the middle of it.

_ >“Miss Kirishima please listen! The Basement. There’s an old tunnel. We’ve lost contact with Yoriko because of the distance, but she’s with Professor. Hang on, Akira’s coming in. Don’t leave without her.” _

_Even worse._

“Like _fuck_ I’m not.” Touka shouted, surprising Ayato with the outburst and shoving him with enough force to make a break past him, sprinting down the hall towards the nearest staircase leading down.

Ayato made a move to chase her down, but was quickly overtaken by the crowd of frightened humans.

He lost sight of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pffffffff can you tell where i got lazy lol


	20. BloodBath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reasons this is so late:  
> 1) How in the hell do you write a fight scene?  
> 2) Final exams are slowly creeping up on me  
> 3) I am notoriously terrible at time management  
> That said I hope this is at least somewhat stressful haha (sorry). It might be a little weird because of perspective changes, and because of some weird flashbacks, so if anything needs clarifying lemme know and I’ll explain. Or even better, if you have any suggestions/corrections that might make this chapter read a little more fluidly, I’d love to hear them.
> 
> Also sorry this cuts off where it does. I wanted to get the whole scene in but it was taking me so long to write I decided to just post as is. The last bit is unedited and hastily written so expect changes. Next chapter should only be a week or two though so hopefully that's good news.

15 March, 22:16

Her hair was a mousy brown, dull and a little flat, with choppy bangs outlining a round, unextraordinary face. Her skin was pale and ashy, her pink lips cracked, her careful gait controlled to the point of coming across as stiff and insecure. Her arms and hands were folded carefully behind her back, almost in a military-like fashion, except for the way she bent at the hip, vaguely curving her body to the left. Her head was tilted down, only slightly, just enough to express hostility, suspicion, and self-doubt all at once.

Behind the tight coils of the medical bandages covering her face, Eto smiled.

The broken always were far too easy to read.

“I read your letter.” The girl broke the steady silence, her followers flanking her sides – a few sturdy silhouettes to (barely) help her cut a more intimidating figure. She addressed Tatara, jaded eyes narrowed, brows arched cynically, pointedly ignoring the small humming ghoul swinging her legs back and forth like a child from her perch atop one of the metal construction beams.

Tatara’s expression remained predictably impassive. “And?”

“Why now?”

Eto couldn’t help but giggle then, her smile widening as all eyes flickered to her, flashing with varying emotions – uncertainty from the girl and her gang members – revulsion from the immoral professor of biology that had accompanied them –annoyance from young Mr. Kirishima – indifference from Tatara. Tapping long fingers against the metal beam, Eto sat back, waiting patiently for the moment all parties involved once again forgot she was there.

“Because we will need all the help we can get.” Tatara answered simply, ever the diplomat. “Tensions between the ghouls and the CCG have been mounting at an extraordinary rate these past few years. It won’t be long before that tension breaks, and if we wish to truly create a world where ghouls are the dominant species – free to live and hunt and eat as we please – then we must unify, now, while the humans are vulnerable.”

The girl pursed her lips. “Why _us_?”

“Do you stand against our cause?”

“Of course not.” Professor scoffed, bending slightly at the hip as she crossed her arms, causing her torso to jerk forward awkwardly while she narrowed her eyes. “I’m all for ghoul supremacy. I’d love to one day live in a world where ghouls are in charge – where ghouls can hunt and eat as we please without the threat of the CCG standing in our way. But my questions still stand…. Why us and why now? We’re not a particularly influential group. We’ve managed to keep our turf, yes, but only because we change wards almost every year. We don’t pick fights with the CCG. Whereas you… well everyone knows what _The_ Aogiri Tree has done…. And while I find it admirable, I can’t say that I’m particularly enthusiastic to sell my life to another band of ghouls only to ultimately fail to achieve our goals. I like being my own boss. It allows me the freedom to kill and eat as I please, and I’ve grown accustomed to a certain way of doing things.”

“I can assure you that Aogiri aims neither to stand in your way, nor to restrict your freedoms. We only wish to call you our allies.”

The girl stomped her foot against the pavement, patience running thin. “ _For what purpose_.”

Tatara’s stare remained dull, Professor’s attempt at intimidation going unnoticed. “As you may remember, about three years ago, Aogiri Tree fought and heavily depleted the forces of the CCG,” he started, almost seeming annoyed that he’d have to do any explaining at all. “Since then, we’ve only battled the CCG on a few, small occasions, not nearly on as large a scale as years ago. You may have heard some of the rumors that spread after the conclusion of our war with the CCG two years ago – the rumors that we’ve grown inactive due to having sustained heavy losses. While not hard to see how these rumors emerged, I can assure you, they are entirely false. The Tree is not dying out, not at all. We lay dormant intentionally. The reason for which we haven’t pursued greater war with the CCG since the battle in the 20th ward is because we’ve been waiting for the most opportune moment to strike. I know we may seem disorganized and chaotic, but I promise, we do not take any action without careful consideration. Every move is part of a greater plan, a plan with which we will bring about a great change. The time for us to strike is rapidly approaching, and we believe you could play a vital part in the success of ghoul kind.”

Professor leaned back, crossing her arms as the ghouls at her back began murmuring amongst themselves.

“Aogiri Tree has eyes everywhere,” Tatara continued. “We have been watching you. We know how your group operates. We’ve seen your strength in battle. We know that there are investigators hot on your trail. They’ve already killed three of your gang members, haven’t they? We are willing to help you enact your revenge and get them off your trail should you agree to join our forces.

“That said… there is another presence in the 15th ward – a group of naïve peacekeeping ghouls that are actively attacking ghouls like you. Aogiri perceives them as a threat to our mission. We wish for you to become Aogiri’s eyes and ears in the 15th ward. We think you are an excellent candidate to help us locate and eliminate this threat, so that we may gain influence over the ghouls here as well. Like I said, it’s all part of a greater plan.”

“I see….” Professor nodded, a bit of the skepticism fading from her eyes. “You _are_ using me.”

“In a sense, I suppose. But I feel that we could both use each other. You can’t deny that you need us right now. You’re high on the CCG’s hit list. It won’t be long before they catch you. Perhaps you’ll manage to evade the doves currently investigating you, but should they fail the CCG will only send a better, stronger, more experienced team after you. You will die.” Tatara stated apathetically. Professor wavered. “We need you as well. We could use a strong, watchful presence in the 15th ward to round out our influence across Tokyo. And you need us to stay alive. It would be a symbiotic relationship, if you will.”

“I see….” Professor seemed to be deep in thought, her followers falling silent behind her. A moment passed without the exchange of a single word; only the howling of the wind as it passed through the gaps in the metal junkyard dared to break the pensive silence. The thin strands of her hair blew in the wind, hiding her expression from view. Eto hummed a happy melody.

“I… suppose we will consider working with you.” Professor spoke, breaking the calming quiet, voice almost as brittle as the look in her eyes. “But only if you help us take out the team of investigators that has been stalking us first.”

“Naturally.”

“I think this will be much easier than you realize.” Eto finally cut in, startling the other gang of ghouls, who seemed to have entirely forgotten her presence. Eto smirked at this, watching gleefully as all eyes turned to her. In one smooth motion, she sprung up from her perch on the steel beams, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in her maroon skirt before gracefully hopping down, skipping over to stand beside Tatara.

A sliver of suspicion returned to Professor’s dull eyes. “How so?” She asked slowly.

“Because we’ve already tracked them down, of course.” Eto laughed again, mockingly covering her mouth with her hand as if revealing a scandalous secret. “They’re using that friend of yours, the baker, as an informant. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

Professor’s eyes flashed through several predictable emotions – surprise, shock, betrayal, anger. Her shoulders tensed, her fists clenched, her cracked lips pressed together in a heated glower.

"Yoriko...." 

"Obviously they haven't figured out their target is _you_ yet... or else you'd already be dead. Ha ha!" Eto continued pleasantly, folding her arms behind her back while rolling on her heels as if amused by the entire situation. "This works out well for us. It won't be hard to lure them into a trap, not while they're so desperate to take you out."

Professor bowed her head. She sucked in a short breath, expression turning lifeless and blank. "Alright, then. What do you propose we do?"

Eto smiled.

* * *

It was worse than she had anticipated. Kids were screaming and spilling from the mansion in thick packs, tripping over each other as they rushed to escape the threat as fast as possible lest they become part of Aogiri’s next meal.

Akira rushed forward, briefcase in hand as she fought against the crowd to gain entrance to the building. Shoving bodily against wave after wave of screaming students, she silently cursed her small stature, wishing she had a few muscles like Amon’s. Still, she pushed ahead, a mantra of “ _get Kaneki and Touka out of there!_ ” playing over and over in her head.

            > “I’ve lost contact with Kirishima”. Amon informed her through her headpiece. Akira grit her teeth. “She’s moved too far away. The signal’s not strong enough anymore.”

“Do you know where she went?”

            > “She said something about a tunnel leading away from the house from the basement. Professor has Yoriko and another one of her friends. They’ve been working with Aogiri. I’m hesitant to call in backup while she’s down there.”

“We can’t call this in until Kaneki and Touka are _out_.” Akira reaffirmed with a grimace, slamming into a crying drunk and nearly taking him out in her haste to make it inside. “God damn Hide and his poor relationship timing. If we make it out of this alive I’m going to kill him. Until then – do you have the :re ghouls’ contact information?”

            > “Do you want me to call them?”

“We need _some_ form of backup. And there’s absolutely no way we’re going to get Kirishima out of here before Aogiri has completely destroyed the place. The least we can do is call in a few of the ghouls to divert attention from the innocent civilians.”

            > “I’m on it.”

“We need to get Hide and Kaneki involved as well. It’ll be hard to move without knowing their whereabouts.”

            > “I’ll go in – you follow Kirishima and I’ll locate Nagachika and Kaneki and make sure they’re alright. I’ll call the :re ghouls for backup right now. Then, as soon as we’re all reunited we’ll call in the CCG, which should give the others enough time to escape before any of the higher ups arrive.”

“Assuming that none of the students have called it in themselves.” Akira added.

There was a pause from the other end of the line, as if the gravity of the situation was just beginning to sink in for Amon. After a moment, he cursed.

            > “ _Shit_. You’re right. We need to move quickly. I’ll call :re. Good luck, Akira.”

“You too.”

Finally, Akira managed to push her way through the entrance of the building, ripping out her earpiece as she dutifully ignored the blood-spattered walls and the rampaging ghouls wrecking havoc on the scene. Amon was going to handle that; she needed to take down Professor.

It took her a few minutes, but she eventually managed to locate the entrance to the basement, bolting down the stairs, her quick footsteps echoing off stone walls.

The sounds of screaming from above slowly faded away.

* * *

 

She had felt so, incredibly, unbelievably _stupid_ as she sat in front of the tv, curled up, a large warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders, the reporter from her local news station reading updates off her monitor periodically in an attempt to keep the public informed to the best of their ability. The CCG has blocked the roads, the reporter said. They have engaged with the Owl, he said. Several high ranking ghouls have come to the defense of their base, the coffee shop – Anteiku.

Touka’s place of work.

Her _home_.

She was such an idiot. How had she not seen it before?

Touka Kirishima was a ghoul. The only person to have ever spared her a second glance in their miserable school, the only person to regularly come to her defense from the bullies constantly trying to knock her down, her best friend who happily critiqued her cooking, encouraged her, supported her, _cared_ for her – a ghoul.

Yoriko knew she should’ve been horrified. Logically, she should have been upset to discover that her friend was one of those murderers, those monsters that she’s been warned to avoid her entire life. She should’ve felt frightened, or betrayed. She should have been wondering if their friendship had been a hoax the whole time, if Touka had been planning on eating her.

However, she was never, for even a second, worried about herself. Yoriko remembers crying herself to sleep, terrified that Touka had been one of the ghouls killed in the raid that night. The thought that Touka had had malicious intentions never even crossed her mind. Instead, all she could think about were the times Touka had gladly accepted her cooking, knowing it would hurt her. She wondered why Touka had chosen _her_ of all people to be her friend in what must have been a dark, lonely life. She wondered if she’d ever get to ask....

Anteiku burned down and Yoriko cried again, as she walked by in the snow, watching several city workers clear away the debris. The news never revealed the names of the slain ghouls, but only four were reported dead (all SS rated or higher), so Yoriko held on to a shred of hope. Maybe Touka had made it out alive after all. Maybe they’d see each other again one day.

Yoriko graduated high school alone.

She started university alone.

She spent her weekends visiting coffee shops, hoping to catch a familiar glimpse of short violet hair, alone.

It wasn’t for another year and a half that Yoriko’s persistence finally paid off and she heard, for the first time, on a ward 15 cultural website, the name of a new coffee shop that would be opening in the spring. The promotion was accompanied by the proud, smiling face of a beautiful young entrepreneur. Her hair was a few shades lighter and curled, her smile a little softer, her eyes a little warmer, but Yoriko had recognized her in an instant, heart leaping in her chest.

And surely enough, just a day after the café’s opening, Yoriko stormed through the doors, shaking from both terror and anticipation, sweating hot and cold. She remembers Touka’s expression fondly, the way her matronly smile faded almost instantly, welcoming words dying in her throat as she recognized the emotional whirlwind of a person stomping almost aggressively towards her.

Yoriko remembers the desperate way Touka tried to cover her tracks, pretty lies falling from her rose-tinted lips, hands waving in deflective gestures, eyes refusing to settle on any part of Yoriko for more than a few seconds.

 _“I know that you’re a ghoul_.” She had said, later, when they were finally sat alone in the back of the shop. “ _I don’t care about any of that_. _I’m so happy you’re alive_. _I thought I’d lost you forever_.”

_Please never leave me again._

It took a while for Touka to accept the reality of Yoriko’s words, for her walls to drop and for their old level of comfort with one another to return to normal. Then again, things never really did return to “normal” per se. Touka had apparently been holding a lot back during their friendship in high school, hiding the parts of herself she was too afraid to show in favor of donning her human mask. After their reunion and the gradual rekindling of their friendship, Yoriko got to know the _real_ Touka Kirishima, the good and the bad, her sadness and anger and unwavering strength. If Yoriko hadn’t known Touka for so long beforehand, she might have been a little intimidated by this full, uncensored version of her.

And, of course, their relationship only grew from there. Yoriko was offered a job at :re. Yoriko got to know the staff. Yoriko grew wary of the CCG. 

Still, Touka would grow quiet every now and then, softly voicing worries Yoriko hated to 

admit weren’t without merit, conjuring up dark scenarios that Yoriko hated for being entirely plausible.

Touka Kirishima had lived through some dark times, a fact with which Yoriko became painfully acquainted. Yet, despite having heard numerous horror stories from both Touka and her colleagues at :re, despite the countless warnings and worries Touka shared with her on a daily basis, Yoriko never considered the possibility that she’d ever play an active role in one of them.

At least, that’s what she was thinking as she found herself gagged and suspended five feet off the ground by a shimmering purple bikaku.

“How much farther is it?” A voice asked, a voice she knew. Kyu walked ahead of the bunch, all traces of faux-inebriation wiped from her face. Otori staggered along after her, wide eyes occasionally shifting over to meet Yoriko’s, expression grim.

“A-another minute I imagine.” He answered, pointedly ignoring the sharp kagune poking at his back, urging him forward with the swarm of ghouls.

“Ugh, this is taking forever.” Kyu complained, her usual, meek walking pattern abandoned in favor of a strange, lazy, swaying gait. “When Aogiri Tree promised us revenge I didn’t think it would involve something so _convoluted_.”

“At least we’re getting something. I… wouldn’t want to challenge Aogiri more than we already have. There’s just too many of them.” The ghoul holding Yoriko said.

“I just wish we had the chance to rip into the slimy investigator that took out Fumio and Ryota ourselves.” Kyu arbitrarily kicked a loose stone to the side. It made a hollow sound as it collided with the stone walls of the passage. “Though, I’m sure Aogiri will do them justice. Still… it would be nice if I could inflict some damage myself,” she added wistfully.

“Working with Aogiri should give us lots of opportunities to put the doves in their place.” The third ghoul said, the one at Otori’s back, forcing him forward.

“Yeah but it’s not the _same_ ,” Kyu complained. “But oh well. I guess it can’t be helped. Ah – _finally_. I see the end of the tunnel. Otori why didn’t you tell me your family’s cellar was so _extensive_?”

“I-I uh, w-well – ”

“Wasn’t really looking for an answer, friend.” Kyu interrupted, irritation evident in her voice. “It doesn’t matter. We’re at the end anyway and I’ll finally get to stop hearing about your family’s ridiculous wealth. That is, once you’re dead.”

Otori’s step seemed to waver at that, the ghoul from behind having to push him forward with the tail end of his kagune. Yoriko bit down on her gag, not daring to make a sound.

“Here we are….” Kyu said, kicking the doors open and revealing the large, stone cellar beyond. Yoriko’s eyes urgently scanned the room, mentally counting the number of people gathered beyond as well as looking for other possible exits.

The odds weren’t good.

The room was poorly lit, the few buzzing LED lights lined along the ceiling giving off a yellow glow. Several aged wooded shelves had been pushed back against the rock walls. There was only one other exit: another wooden door against the far wall, several feet off the ground with a rusty-railed concrete staircase leading up to it from the side. In the center of the room sat what looked to be an old, metallic tub. What Yoriko assumed to be five ghouls stood around it, one struggling, similarly bound young woman sat at each ghoul’s feet. Two men men in lab coats stood along the railing leading to the only other exit. Yoriko’s heart-rate skyrocketed.

“So you’ve finally made it.” One of the lab-coats said, pulling a box of plastic medical gloves from one of his pockets unconcernedly. There was a note of accusation in his voice.

Yoriko was dropped, suddenly, onto the ground. The air left her lungs in a soft rush, nearly getting caught behind the fabric of her gag. A foot was placed firmly on her back, preventing her from any attempt at crawling away (not that she thought it would be worth trying at this point anyway. She could barely fight against one ghoul. No way could she get away from _eight_ ).

“Yeah well, that purple-haired Aogiri punk took forever to get into position, and I needed to wait for an opportunity to sneak _this_ sorry little traitor away from the group.” Kyu said coldly, and the boot on Yoriko’s back pressed down roughly. Yoriko closed her eyes tight against the wave of tears that suddenly threatened to overcome her, a choked gasp escaping her throat as her face was ground against the floor.

 _Struggling will only make it worse_ , she reminded herself. _Touka and Kaneki are upstairs._ _Sooner or later, one of them will notice you’re missing._

Hopefully sooner.

“ _Yoriko-chan~_ ” That voice was speaking again, much closer than before, like her former friend had leaned down to taunt her more directly. Yoriko refused to open her eyes, even as a bit of the water she was desperately trying to repress slipped past her eyelid and down her cheek. “You’ve been a _very_ bad friend~”

Yoriko could almost hear the smile in Kyu’s voice – her voice that was so different from before. No longer did she sound meek or timid; she was fully in her element, digging a classmate’s face into the dirt. The front she put up at school was a lie. This was the real Kyu. The monster that had murdered thirty women this term alone.

Yoriko had a horrible feeling that she might become the thirty first.

“Friends aren’t supposed to turn their backs on each other, you know.” Kyu spoke again. “They don’t tattle to investigators about their friends’… personal lives. Didn’t your parents teach you any manners? Hey… you should _look_ at me when I’m talking to you.’” Her head was suddenly yanked upward, Kyu having grabbed a handful of her hair. Yoriko squeaked, eyes flying open against the pain. “I must admit I was… disappointed to find out you were working with the doves. I was never _planning_ on killing you but… you know… plans change.” She said, releasing her grip on Yoriko’s head with a disinterested flick of her wrist, allowing Yoriko’s upper body to fall unceremoniously to the ground once again.

Yoriko squinted an eye open, watching as Kyu sauntered away from her towards one of the other frightened women a few paces away. “These girls, on the other hand….” Her sentence was punctuated with the activation of her kagune, bursting brightly, violently, from between her shoulder blades. The young women she had stopped in front of quaked on her knees, attempting futilely to twist away from her captor’s grip. “Well, I’ve been hunting them for a while.”

Yoriko managed to close her eyes just in time, but nothing could prevent the sounds from reaching her ears. Several of the other girls shrieked in terror, one of them even screaming to be let go before getting silenced with a horrifying crack. Otori gasped to her right.

When Yoriko next opened her eyes, two of the five other girls lay dead, one from a heavily bleeding throat wound, and another from what appeared to be a broken neck. The dismayed sob that had been building in her chest finally erupted from her throat, a high-pitched whine following shortly after.

The man that had put on medical gloves walked down the short concrete staircase and over to the first body. Kyu stepped aside as he knelt down, observing the blood flow with disinterest.

He tutted. “You’ve really got to stop killing them this way. Look at all the blood you’re wasting.”

“Whatever.”

“It’s inefficient.”

“ _Whatever_.”  Kyu snapped, looking somewhat annoyed with the man. “May I remind you, you’re only here because I needed someone trained to drain the bodies, _Professor_ Kobayashi.”

“May I remind you that we’re working with Aogiri now, and that Dr. Kanou over there has expressed interest in my work. You aren’t the only one that needs me anymore.” Kobayashi snapped back just as coldly, standing up. He turned away from Kyu, then, addressing the ghoul behind him. “Please carry her body over to the basin. I want to get started on this one before she dries up.”

“Sure.”

Yoriko eyed the ghoul and Kobayashi through watery eyes, as they made their way over to the tub in the center of the room. Kobayashi’s back was turned to her, but he appeared to be taking several instruments from his pockets. Yoriko averted her eyes again, unable to look at the scene before her without feeling nauseous. Unfortunately, as she averted her eyes, she caught Kyu’s, staring directly at her. Her body shuddered without her permission. Kyu’s lips curled.

“I bet you’re wondering what the blood’s for.” She said, her entire body frighteningly still. Yoriko didn’t answer, eyes wide and muscles trembling. “Aren’t you?”

She shook her head.

Kyu continued anyway. “When I was young.” She said, an almost nostalgic expression crossing her face. “My parents would read me stories about beautiful princesses, trapped by fate, only to eventually be rescued by a handsome prince and whisked away to live happily ever after.” She sighed, glancing over towards the bloody basin. “I thought, hey, maybe one day I would grow up to be that beautiful princess, and the nightmare of my life would end, and I could live, once and for all, like one of those vapid whores from my mother’s tales.”

Kyu turned back to Yoriko, a dead look in her eyes. “I’ll spare you the gory details, but I lost my family quite young. And, I guess you could say, puberty wasn’t very kind to me. I mean _look_ at me. It’s only the beautiful ones that get saved. Beautiful like that bitch of a girlfriend you have. Beautiful like you….” Yoriko shuddered at the way Kyu’s voice tapered off, afraid of where this was going, but unable to tune her out. “I read a story once, about a young ghoul from Hungary who used to bath in the blood of virgins in order to sustain eternal life. She had her servants lure young girls to her castle where they were slaughtered, their blood sacrificed to the plight of the maiden ghoul. She was caught eventually, of course, but I thought… if she could do it, why shouldn’t I?”

“ _Is that so_?”

Another voice cut in suddenly, another voice that Yoriko knew intimately. She froze, a frigid wave of both relief and dread shaking her bones.

Kyu turned back to the open doorway, pausing mid-speech, thin lips pressing into an even thinner line. “ _You?_ ”

“What a shitty story. And to think I thought the Professor would have been more intimidating. Not an insecure, pampered wimp. You’re giving S-rated ghouls a bad rep.”

Touka stood in the doorway, her body a solid line, her one visible eye glowing red, her expression unreadable as she stared down Professor.

“All this because you wanted to be _prettier_?”

Kyu’s face twitched.

“ _You’re pathetic_.”

And the room erupted in a stream of shimmering ukaku bullets.

* * *

15 March, 22:57

Eto giggled, the last of Professor’s gang fading from view as they followed Kirishima towards the hideout. Tatara turned to her, then, the indifference fading from his eyes to offer her a genuinely puzzled look. “We don’t really need their help” he asserted without even an ounce of doubt as he observed the short, grinning ghoul beside him. “This feels trivial. What’s the real play?”

“ _Tatara~san_ …,” she sang, smile growing impossibly wide, single kakugan eye glowing crimson. “Ever heard the phrase… divide and conquer?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is a pun^^^


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